If Hearts Could Speak
by angelarms
Summary: CHAPTER 20 - Meryl's brother makes a surprise visit, but why is he acting so strange? Whilst Knives and Millie have yet another fight due to romantic tensions. It's time for a little brotherly advice!
1. Feelings

Disclaimer: well obviously Trigun isn't mine nor are any of the characters.  
  
Note: although I write a lot this is actually my first fan fiction so I'm not sure how well it will turn out, any way please enjoy it.  
  
Edit: I have recently updated this chapter, if you notice an edit at the top of any other chapter, it means it has been updated, spelling mistakes corrected and more detail added etc...

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Chapter 1 - Feelings  
  
Meryl watched as her best friend left to go and work on the well and sighed, she wished she could do something to help them but that was not her type of work. She didn't like slaving away in the hot suns but preferred a job where she was protected from the hot rays. Her jobs were usually in small shops where she could keep herself busy with serving others.   
  
She smiled faintly as she thought of Millie being the only female in the whole entire working force. Surprisingly the men hadn't protested at all, but accepted her help happily even though they knew she had been involved with Vash.  
  
She finally dragged herself away from the window and sighed helplessly, there was so much that needed to be done. Her violet eyes turned their attention towards her desk that was littered with forms and other paperwork, which she had to fill out so that her company knew what was happening. She had kept putting it off though, hoping that maybe she could pretend they didn't exist and she could forget about that idiot of a man.  
  
It had been two weeks since Vash had left them and she didn't want to write reports saying that he had left them and she wasn't sure whether he would come back. She and Millie would be dragged back to the office and lose their chance of ever seeing him again. Or worse they might be sacked. If she did write to the office what would she say? Could she tell the chief that she had let Vash walk out on them deliberately and didn't even put up a fight to stop him or follow him?   
  
'I should have gone with him.' She thought sadly, her heart felt so fragile that she was afraid it would fall apart completely. A sharp meow entered her thoughts and looking across at her bed was a small black cat with enchanting eyes. It blinked at her and then stretched before curling up to sleep once more.   
  
'What if he is hurt?' the thoughts kept tormenting her.  
  
Striding across the room in her waitress uniform she thrust a couple of derringers into her pocket and left the small house that they had rented. It was in this house that they planned to wait for Vash to return - if he returned. The twin suns sparkled brightly in the cerulean sky and a couple of small green birds skittered across her path in excitement. Sighing Meryl turned the corner into the town square and saw the workers around the well and children playing with a ball in the street, their shrill cries interrupting the peace of the day.  
  
'Everything here is so wonderful...so why am I so sad?'  
  
Meryl lingered a moment longer in the square which was a good place to see the desert stretching endlessly ahead and wondered whether Vash would return from the same way he had left. That desert looked like such a dreadful place and in the morning sunshine looked like it was bathed in blood - or maybe it was just her imagination.  
  
'Vash you had better come back!' She yelled mentally and let it echo over and over.  
  
She continued on her path forcing back the tears, which shimmered in the sunlight like crystals and entered the restaurant as cheerfully as possible. The door jingled as she opened it and plastering a smile onto her face she flipped the sign on the door from 'closed' to 'open' and greeted her boss.  
  
"How are you today Miss Meryl?"  
  
"I'm fine thank you, it's such a beautiful day."  
  
"Yes, it's a shame we are both cooped up in here."  
  
"I don't mind at all, when I work it keeps me from thinking about other things."  
  
"I see." The woman wiped her hands on a towel and slipped behind the counter to await the customers and Meryl put on her white apron and waited for her work to really begin...

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Millie wiped the back of her hand across her forehead and grinned around at the other workers. They had made great progress with the well and they knew that any day now they would hit the water vein and the town would return to normal. Yet even though Millie was happy she could not help but feel a great sorrow for her raven-haired friend. She knew what it was like to lose someone you cared for, and the memories of Wolfwood slumped against his cross, flared painfully in her mind. She did not want that to happen to Meryl, and even though the short woman pretended like everything was fine Millie knew deep down the woman was being crushed.  
  
"Hey let's get back to work!" Someone called and picking up her shovel Millie returned to her task at hand. It was the least that she could do to help this town, to make sure that they did not suffer needlessly; it was what Wolfwood would have done if he were still around.  
  
Thinking about him made her heartache but everyday that passed she felt the hole slowly begin to heal, he was happy and at peace and so she would be as well. He wouldn't have wanted her to cry or be sad so she wouldn't allow herself to feel that way any more. Tears did nothing and neither did feeling sorry for yourself, which is what her big big sister had always told her.   
  
Millie worked well into the evening and when finally she gave up to go home she wondered whether Meryl would be worried about her being so late. Striding quickly across the square with her shovel slung over one shoulder and eyes turned upwards to the starry sky she wondered what Vash was doing now.  
  
'Has he finally buried his past?' She thought, Meryl had told her a little about him after he had left so now she understood things much better.  
  
As Millie came in sight of the small rented house she was extremely surprised to see the house in complete darkness and she wondered whether Meryl was asleep already. Walking faster she reached the door and fumbled for her key, after a while she found it hiding in the darkest corner of her pocket and quickly turned it into the lock. Flinging the door wide open so that it squeaked on its hinges she flipped on the lights and peered around the room.  
  
"Meryl! Are you home?!" She yelled but was greeted by nothing but silence. With a flutter of fear in her heart Millie wondered whether something bad had happened to her friend and whirling around to leave the house again she spotted the cliffs that looked out across the desert and spotted a white figure silhouetted against the sky.  
  
"Oh...Meryl." Millie whispered feeling her heart return to its normal pace and eyes blurring with tears. Torn between leaving her friend to think and running over to offer comfort Millie was frozen when suddenly she spotted a figure walking towards her. Narrowing her eyes she peered through the darkness and instantly recognised the spiky hair and goofy grin.  
  
'He came back!'  
  
With an excited squeak Millie dropped the shovel to the ground with a clatter and ran over to embrace Vash in a huge hug when she noticed another person hanging limply from Vash's shoulder.   
  
"Mr. Vash!" She yelled and came to a stop in front of him. "You came back."   
  
"Of course I did." He smiled weakly and looked at Millie apologetically.  
  
"Hey don't worry we knew you would, it's just that we were worried about you."  
  
"We?"  
  
"Yes Meryl was too. Even though I doubt she would admit it." Millie grinned.  
  
"I see." Vash's look was thoughtful.  
  
"So is that your brother?" Millie asked cautiously and then smiled again. "So you did find a way to spare him, that's great."  
  
"Yeah, I was still a bit worried about bringing him back here though."  
  
"I'm sure it will be fine Mr. Vash." Millie encouraged and quickly turned round and led him back to the house.  
  
"I guess." He replied quietly as she let him in and closed the door softly. Then she watched Vash slip his brother from his shoulder and on to the couch and for the first time she noted the wounds on him. His body was wrapped in bandages and he looked extremely pale and she found herself wondering whether he would wake up at all. Looking up at Vash's face she could tell he was thinking the same thing.   
  
"Would you like to take him to lie on a bed? He will heal quicker that way." Millie offered kindly.  
  
"Umm yeah okay."  
  
"Alright then, I guess we should take him to the room I have been sleeping in, I doubt Meryl will want to be chucked out of hers."  
  
"So where is that short-tempered woman anyway?"  
  
"She's up on the cliff."  
  
"Why?" Vash looked slightly confused.  
  
"I don't really know, she hasn't been herself lately."  
  
"How?"  
  
"She's been waking up with nightmares and she hasn't eaten properly for the last couple of days." Millie sighed and her face saddened.  
  
"Maybe I should go tell her I'm back." Vash offered with a small smile.  
  
"Sure thing, but let's get your brother comfortable first." Millie's smile returned as quickly as it had faded.

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So what did you think? I know it isn't the best but I just wanted to show how each character was feeling at this point and how they will progress through my story. I promise the next chapter will be a lot better than this so please don't give up on me.  
  
So leave a review to tell me how I did cos that will make me happy.   
  
'Love & Peace' 


	2. Denial

Disclaimer: Once again I don't own Trigun or any of its characters even though I would like to -'   
  
Edited!!  
  
Note: Okay first off I would like to thank all those nice reviewers out there who gave me enough courage to post this second part of my fan fic, secondly I would like to say that this chapter is a lot more interesting with a bit of that Meryl and Vash fluff... and finally I would like to say that I will try to remember to put " instead of ' for my speech, its just an annoying little habit I have picked up so without further to do here is my second part:

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Chapter 2: Denial  
  
Meryl sat looking up at the patterns of stars that glittered above her trying desperately to re-enact the night when she and Vash had been up on the very same cliff. That memory made her warm with happiness and she clung to it desperately, afraid that she might forget it and be left with nothing of him at all.  
  
That time with him had been almost perfect but of course it had been missing something as all of their time together had been. If only she could have said those three little words, then that time would have been full even if he had not been able to say them back.   
  
'Why is it so hard to say such three simple words?' She mused silently and drew in a deep breath. 'I know why,' her conscience prodded irritatingly. 'Because you know he could never love you, he would laugh or just leave, and you don't want that, do you Meryl?' She clapped her hands over her ears to shut out the voices and for a moment believed she was going mad.  
  
Shuddering from the cold of the night she tugged her jacket tighter around her shoulders and sighed. It was hopeless to try and keep warm when her heart felt so icy cold, nothing could ever warm it - well maybe one thing - but it was too late for that.   
  
'I just have to accept that he is not coming back...' She wiped the tears from her eyes before any could escape.  
  
Running a hand through her raven hair she looked up at the twinkling of the stars again and hoped that maybe Vash was looking up at the very same stars and possibly thinking of her. If only he could see her right now looking so miserable without him, if only he knew that she needed him then maybe everything would be all right, but she knew it was wishful thinking.   
  
"I need you" she whispered to herself and smiled slightly at having admitted this openly to herself. For so long now, she had enclosed her feelings and kept herself from getting close to anyone. Now she had grown so fond of that stupid, pervert, donut-eating man that she could not bear to hide it any longer. He had taken her totally by surprise and ever since she had met him her life had been completely turned upside down.   
  
She had been informed that this outlaw was a womaniser - which was partly true, and a partner with the devil - which was definitely not true. He was the kindest, weirdest person she had ever met but his overall innocence and need to protect people had slowly won her over whether she had wanted it to or not.   
  
When he had told her about himself, about all the pain he had suffered during his long life she hadn't been able to contain the small tear that had trailed down her face. He had seen and accomplished so much in his life and also suffered...possibly too much to ever be able to love someone or trust them.  
  
Closing her eyes she pressed her hand over her aching heart in attempt to warm it and felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She wished that she could blame him for what she was feeling now - for the emptiness in her heart and the constant pain - but she couldn't. It wasn't Vash who was the coward hiding his feelings; he wore his emotions on his sleeve, crying and laughing whenever he felt like it. Meryl could not do such things; she would not allow herself to be seen in such an emotional state in front of others.  
  
Suddenly she heard a sound behind her and jumping in fear she whirled around to see someone she didn't expect. Those large enticing eyes blinked at her and the soft purr that followed brought a smile to her face. The black cat that had been curled up asleep in her bed earlier had come to make her feel better.  
  
"Well hello there little cat." She grinned and stroked a tender part behind its ears. With a loud purr the cat crept up onto her lap and joined in with the stargazing. It was then that Meryl realised how much she had missed the comfort of having someone around, she had never had anyone to love her just like this little stray cat.   
  
"Look at me, comparing myself to you." She laughed and raised her eyes once more to the stars. With a meow the black cat crept up into her arms and closed it's round eyes when she felt another presence behind her. Turning around with frustration she stopped short when she saw who stood there.  
  
Every barrier she had built around herself came crashing down at this unexpected meeting and the days of planning what she would say were long forgotten. She hadn't seen him crossing the desert, which must mean that he had been in town for a while and at this realisation she felt cheated.   
  
Her heart pounded in her chest so loud that she believed that he could hear it and she opened her mouth to talk only to find that she was lost for words. She could do nothing but stare dumbly at him until he broke into one of his amazing smiles and sat down beside her.  
  
"What are you doing out here in the cold?" He asked casually but Meryl could do nothing but shrug and look down at the cat still in her arms.  
  
"Is that cat yours?"  
  
"No" was the only thing she managed to say and carefully she raised her eyes to look at him again, his perfect profile highlighted by the moons' beautiful light and his eyes tired but still containing a little warmth inside of them.   
  
"Are you okay?" He asked again and Meryl noticed how uncomfortable he looked and decided she better at least try to act normal.   
  
"Yeah, things have just been crazy around here lately, that's all. I thought I would get a bit of peace and quiet here, but I didn't count on having a cat or an outlaw for company that's all." She hoped he wouldn't take offence by the comment but she had only offered him her honest answer, or as honest as she would be anyway.  
  
"Yeah I guess so." He replied quietly.  
  
"So does Millie know you are back?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And what about your brother?" Meryl dared to ask.  
  
"He is resting in the house."  
  
"W-What!?" Meryl was sure she would have fallen over if she hadn't been sitting down already, but then after a moment of careful thinking she realised that Vash would never have killed Knives and it should have been expected.  
  
"Don't worry, he is too injured to cause much harm, but when he is healed I will have to take him away from here."  
  
"So you wont be staying then..." Meryl murmured trying not to sound too hurt even though she felt like her heart had just shattered. He really had no idea about her feelings at all - or maybe he did and that was the reason he was leaving as fast as he could.   
  
"I don't know...I really don't know." He whispered and then his face turned towards her and she felt the burn of embarrassment settle in her cheeks.   
  
"Maybe we should head back. You look cold." With that remark he reached out a hand to her.  
  
Meryl blinked and looked at his hand with conflicting emotions, part of her wanted to take his hand but she knew if she did she might not be able to let go and that would lead to even more uncomfortable situations.  
  
Before she could even think, she had jumped to her feet and took a couple of steps back before he could touch her and had turned to walk as fast as she could down the cliff, her violet eyes shimmering with sadness. Unknowing to the short insurance girl was the hurt expression that Vash wore openly on his face.

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Okay I'm not sure what to think of this and yes I do love the little black cat...so cyuute . any way please leave a review and I promise the main story will start to become apparent in the next chapter as well as a bit more fluff...well a lot more than what was in this chapter. Sooooo go ahead and review for me cos I loooove them.   
  
'Love and Peace' 


	3. Nightmare

Disclaimer: No I don't own Trigun I don't own anything not even this computer so you get the point...  
  
Note: after this chapter I'm gonna dive straight into the whole Meryl gets into trouble thing *evil grin* so anyway I am gonna try my best to put some more fluff into this story but maybe I shouldn't make promises that I can't keep cos well whenever I go to write it, it all sorta comes out wrong @.@ so anyway enough with me and on with the story I mean that's why you're all here.   
  
Chapter 3: Nightmare  
  
Meryl walked as quick as she could so that Vash could not keep up with her on the way back to the house. For some reason when it came to it she just couldn't tell him how she felt, she had been planning it ever since he had left but just looking into those aqua eyes was enough to put her off for life. She knew that Vash did not feel the same and she had given him no reason to love her with her constant violence directed at him.  
  
With a chilling sigh that ached her heart she increased her speed down the slope and saw the twinkling of lights in the house. They were the only warmth that could be offered to her now and that realisation was enough to send her crying again. His voice interrupted her miserable thoughts as he called for her to slow down but she ignored him and continued until he broke into a run and grabbed her by the wrist.   
  
  
  
"If I didn't know better I would say you were ignoring me." Vash said, his breath misting as he spoke and his eyes catching the light of the stars and shimmering with a rare beauty that took Meryl's breath away.  
  
"..."  
  
"Are you mad at me for some reason?"  
  
"No." Meryl looked up at him, narrowing her eyes, "Unless there's something you haven't told me."  
  
"N-no of course not." Vash staggered back holding his hands behind his head sheepishly, a weak grin spreading across his face.   
  
Meryl shook her head and continued to walk with her head down to the ground watching the shadows play across the sand when she felt Vash's presence near her again and clenched her fists in annoyance. She was pretty sure he was doing this purposely to get on her nerves, but then he had only come to say hello and that he were back. She didn't understand why she was acting so nervous around him and she knew that Vash wasn't doing anything to annoy her on purpose. He had done nothing but be kind towards her but even that was enough to get on her nerves.   
  
"Ummm Meryl."  
  
"What is it Vash?" Meryl sighed with fatigue as she reached the door and brought her hand up to turn the handle to go in.   
  
"Can I talk to you for a moment?" He brought his hand over hers to stop her from going inside and she gasped at the sudden contact and whirled round to look sternly at him.   
  
"Let go of..." She was cut off by Vash's hand covering her mouth and angrily she tried to prise it away.  
  
"Meryl you cant pretend there is nothing wrong, I can already tell you're not your usual self. For one thing you haven't hit me yet." At that comment Meryl angrily slapped him across the face and backed up against the door, her eyes a deep violet.   
  
"Ouch, hey that's so mean" He whined and put on his puppy eyes to receive some sympathy.  
  
"Hey you asked for that one!" She yelled as she finally tore his hand away.  
  
"So I guess you're not gonna tell me then."  
  
"Tell you what?" Her heart hammered violently as thoughts raced through her head - did he know? Did Millie tell him? Should she make a run for it?  
  
"Millie said that you have been having nightmares.' He whispered so quietly that she had to lean forward to hear him.  
  
"Well she was wrong." Meryl murmured and lowered her face to hide the tears that were forming in her violet eyes.   
  
All she could think of at that moment was how Millie had even known - trust her airhead friend to notice the small things that were going on. It was true that she had been having nightmares, horrific dark ones that twisted and distorted through her mind and left her trembling with fear. She swallowed back the horror that was already creeping around her and tried to step back but as she did so she stumbled on a rock and ended up in Vash's arms.   
  
"It's okay Meryl" He hushed her and his arms curled up around her so that he could hold her tight against his chest. She gave a little squeak of defiance but gave up in her struggle and stood still.  
  
Closing her eyes tightly so she could try not to lose total control she tried to remain calm. She had only ever really been held like this once before and by the very same man, the feelings were so strange that she felt giddy. Leaning her face against him she breathed in deeply the familiar scent on his shirt and enjoyed the soft feel of the fabric on her skin. His heartbeat was the only sound she could hear and its rhythmic pounding was enough to lull her into a restful sleep, but still the thought of nightmares kept her awake.  
  
Vash glanced down at the tiny woman in his arms and couldn't resist a smile; she looked so cute and innocent. He felt especially content when he felt her relax and the once tense muscles loosen fully as she leant against him. As he looked down at her he realised that maybe she wasn't fully relaxed after all. Her shoulders trembled slightly and then he caught sight of a sparkling tear shimmering down her face. She was trying so hard to hide it, that he was torn between comforting her or pretending not to notice, but the pain in his heart would not let him just ignore it.  
  
"Meryl you have to tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help." He offered but was surprised to see that the insurance girl had finally fallen asleep, her face smooth and relaxed, her long eyelashes resting on her cheeks and silken hair fluttering in the breeze. With one swift motion he lifted her up into his arms and carried her light form through the door after struggling to open it and almost bumped into Millie. The black cat gave a surprised meow and leapt from a chair and darted through the door with a donut in its teeth.  
  
"Oh Mr. Vash I was starting to get worried...what's wrong with Meryl?" Millie's face was full of sudden concern that Vash laughed quietly.  
  
"It's okay she just needs to rest." He assured her with a goofy smile.  
  
"Okay, well I guess you should take her to her room if you like, it's the second door on the left." Millie pointed up the stairs and then walked into the tiny kitchen where she poured herself a drink. With a tired sigh Vash clambered up the stairs feeling the pain in his shoulders where Knives had shot him. He had totally forgotten about the wounds until now, but the thudding ache trembled through him. Carefully he opened the door into a tiny room and laid Meryl down on the bed before spreading the cover over her and stumbling into his own room. Knives lay unconscious on the bed and with great care not to make any sound he grabbed a blanket and curled up on the floor, too tired to even attempt a makeshift bed.   
  
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The darkness was so incredibly thick that it was difficult to breathe and the temperature was soaring so high it was like the rays of the suns magnified. Daring to open her eyes she saw nothing but a bright light that blinded her momentarily and forced her eyes shut again. Suddenly the ground began to shake violently; the dust billowed up in great clouds and as she opened her eyes again she saw the great mushroom of light that had burned the hole into the fifth moon. She opened her mouth to scream but the boom of the shockwave, which sent her hurtling back in the dust, drowned it out.   
  
Standing up on shaking legs she dragged her fingers through her raven hair to allow her eyes to fix on the destruction around. Tears streamed down her face and the one word that she could whisper slipped from her lips...  
  
"Vash." The words sailed away on the dusty air but were lost without a trace and the tears swelled in her eyes.  
  
Suddenly the sky went black and for a moment she thought her eyes were shut until she realised the ground could still be seen, and there blazing on the horizon was a figure of a man, his face covered by the shadow and eyes like beacons in the night.  
  
"Stop!" She screamed as the ground beneath her feet whirled by, forcing her to come closer to the man waiting for her.   
  
With a hideous laugh he reached out clutching her by the shoulders and shook her violently, her head snapped back and her tears scattered onto the ground. It was then that she saw it, the spiky, blonde-haired man lying face down in the ground. His right arm revealed through the ripped shirt and a puddle of blood steadily growing around him.   
  
"What have you done to him?" Meryl demanded angrily.  
  
"Put him out of his misery. Ha ha ha."   
  
"No...Vash!" Meryl tried to reach him but the man wouldn't let her go to see him and he shook her again.  
  
"MERYL!" The familiar voice entered her mind, soothing her thoughts and suddenly her eyes shot open and locked upon two aqua ones.   
  
'It was all a dream...' Meryl realised and looked into the eyes that were staring at her intently. They were the most strangest colour that Meryl had ever seen - not quite green and not quite blue - it was a colour all of its own. She felt herself being lost inside them and felt her eyelids grow heavy from the swirling of colours and with a small sigh she let herself fall asleep against the warmth that had surrounded her.  
  
* * * *  
  
Vash looked around in desperation not knowing what to do, the girl had just fallen straight back to sleep again in his arms and he was stuck. If he moved then she would wake up and by the way she had fallen to sleep straight away proved how tired she was. He didn't want to wake her again. Then the image of what she would say if she found him in her room when she woke up crept into his mind. He would certainly get a headache from all the violence that would surely head his way.   
  
With a defeated sigh he let her rest against him leaning back with one palm on the bed and his other arm around her waist. Her head was pillowed against his chest and she looked simply beautiful in the pale moonlight. Sitting as still as possible he wondered whether he should risk falling asleep but as the night drew on he found it impossible to stay awake, so carefully he lay back on the bed making sure not to wake her and fell into a restful sleep.   
  
Well there it is...the third chapter, I myself am not impressed with this at all because it still wasn't fluffy enough so I think I will leave that for after the whole make Meryl suffer thing *evil music playing in background* So anyway I would like to thank all my reviewers for their thoughts on this so far and I will bring a lot more action and angst stuff into the next chapter as well as realisations to the characters blah blah blah.  
  
So any way you know how to submit a review so go ahead it'll take u like a minute to do.  
  
Happy New Year everyone!  
  
'Love and Peace' to you all. 


	4. Suffering

Disclaimer: once again I don't own Trigun or any of its characters   
  
Note: Well here we are once again for the fourth instalment of my fan fic, Firstly I must apologise for taking so long to update but the computer went crazy and deleted everything so I had to write this chapter again. I have to admit it hasn't been that interesting yet but don't despair the action and suffering is about to begin *evil laugh* and hopefully this will be a lot more interesting.   
  
Secondly I would like to thank all my reviewers for encouraging me to write this far they go as followed:  
  
Vashies-girl  
  
Chibi Atto-san  
  
Samuraigirl  
  
Darkraven  
  
Silverdragon  
  
Silverado6000  
  
Animegurl777  
  
Jaded Ayumi  
  
Mel  
  
Sets  
  
Matriaya  
  
Kitty-jinxx  
  
Blood-lust6  
  
TrigunKitty  
  
Lu Angel  
  
Coiledbeast  
  
Tough Cookie  
  
Dreamer-of-night  
  
LOVE AND PEACE TO YOU ALL ^-^  
  
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Chapter 4: Suffering  
  
Meryl opened her violet eyes and sighed with contentment, she was strangely comfortable and warm this morning and she liked the feeling. Closing her eyes again to try and drag out the incredible comfort she realised that she wasn't alone; she could hear the breathing of someone else and feel an arm wrapped tightly around her. She shifted slightly so she could angle her head upwards and look into the face of her captor and was stunned.   
  
Vash lay on her bed with his arms around her and she had allowed him to do so! With a nervous flutter in her stomach and the quickening pace of her heart she tried to wriggle out from his grasp but to her dismay his grip tightened and she was pressed hard against him again. She froze and tried to calm her mind so she could think.  
  
Part of her wanted to stay there in the warm, safe circle of his arms but she knew if she allowed herself to stay he might figure out her feelings for him, or worse she might be tempted to tell him herself. So with that thought to drive her on she twisted in his arms so her back was against his chest and tried to tear his hands from their place. After a moment of hopeless struggling she gave an irritated sigh and decided the best course of action would have to be anger.   
  
  
  
Turning to face him again she clamped her hands on his shoulders and shook him vigorously. He frowned slightly and then opened his eyes with a confused expression on his face until he remembered what had happened last night.  
  
  
  
Looking over at the window he could see the steady stream of sunlight filtering into the room and creating lazy patterns on the ground. A slight breeze rustled the curtain and he looked nervously back to Meryl and glanced down into her clouded eyes that were steadily growing more and more angry. With a nervous grin he released her and backed away from her laughing slightly at the current situation.  
  
"L-look its not w-what you think." He stammered and slid further across the bed only to run out of space and fall onto the floor with a loud ::thud:: onto his back.  
  
"How do you know what I'm thinking?" Meryl yelled and threw herself angrily at him before he could escape.  
  
"Hey" Vash squeaked as he tried to scramble out of the way but was only knocked back by the fuming insurance girl.  
  
"What right do you think you have to come in to my room and...and..." She paused and looked into his fear-stricken face with amusement.  
  
"I'm sorryyyy." He whined and backed up so he was pressed against the wall.  
  
"Oh you will be...you pervert!" Then just as she was about to lunge at him again she noticed a faint trickle of blood seeping through his shirt.   
  
She approached cautiously and knelt down beside him pressing her fingers against the wound on his shoulder.  
  
"Ouch!" Vash exclaimed and then noticed the wound for himself and sighed miserably. The bullet wound he received from Knives had opened up again and as Meryl touched it again he flinched and moved away. (A/N: I am aware that both Vash's shoulders were injured in the fight with Knives but...well...lets just say one of them weren't as bad and has healed already ^-^)  
  
"Hey you big baby! You wait right here while I go and get something to help heal that.' She ordered and left the room.  
  
'The same ol' Meryl'   
  
He walked back over to the bed and sat down on the edge once more before flexing the shoulder and wincing as more blood coated his shirt. He heard the small footsteps coming back up the stairs and knew it was Meryl returning with a bandage or some thing else that would cause him pain.  
  
She entered quietly and closed the door so that Millie wouldn't be disturbed by any immature squeaks from Vash and crossed the room. She lay the small bundle of bandages on the bed beside him and a small bowl of water steamed in her hand in which a small cloth had been soaked. Then raising her head to look into his eyes again she smiled shyly and made a step towards him.  
  
"You'll have to take your shirt off for me to get to the wound.' She announced quietly and noticed the uneasiness in his face. She hid the smile that threatened and urged him to hurry with a stern glare. He nodded timidly and carefully undid the buttons, which seemed to take way too long. Meryl helped him out of it and was careful not to tear the wound open even more as the shirt came free from him.   
  
Meryl had seen his scars plenty of times before and this time was no different to her, but she could tell that Vash was still uncomfortable. He sat with his back to her and she smiled secretively. She could never imagine Vash without his scars; they were symbols of his belief in never hurting anyone. They were who he was and even though his body was damaged she noticed that it was still well toned. 'Probably from all the walking and gun fighting' she decided and noted that she found the scars very admirable and for it she loved him more than ever before.  
  
Vash too, was surprised by Meryl's reaction - or lack of it - to his scars and he felt himself become more comfortable in her presence. He held back a comforted sigh as she gently began to wipe away the freshly spilt blood and closed his eyes. Her hands were so small and warm, but what he loved most was how gentle they were. It surprised him that those same hands were the ones that dealt out punches and slaps and at that thought he grinned.  
  
She worked as quickly as was possible without hurting him and finally she set the bowl and cloth away and took up the bandages. Shoulders were one of the most annoying parts to bandage properly but this was not the first time she had done so, and with quick precision she began to wrap the soft material around the wound. She took this time to note down the other scars that covered Vash's torso and wondered how he had gained them. Some of them she could probably guess but there were others so terrible that she winced to think of the pain they must have caused. Even if Vash was a fast healer he still felt the same amount of pain.  
  
Meryl reached down and touched one of his older scars with her fingertips, it was smooth to the touch and she sighed quietly. Everything was too perfect, she was in the same room as the man she dearly loved but the same thing was missing - he didn't know how she felt.   
  
Vash trembled under her touch and she paused in shock, realising what she had just been doing. Suddenly he turned his head round to look at her, his large aqua eyes meeting her clouded ones and she froze again. The kindness in his turquoise orbs was astonishing and she opened her mouth to say something but no sound came out.  
  
In a swift motion he grabbed her around her waist and pulled her gently into his lap, a tender smile spreading across his face. He had never seen Meryl so speechless before and it was kind of strange to be so close to her that he could smell the sweet shampoo and soap she used. She looked away from him briefly in embarrassment and he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her in a loving hug. To know that she wasn't afraid of him made him happier than ever before.  
  
Lowering his mouth so it came level with her ear he whispered: "Thank you Meryl." At the sound of him saying her voice she shivered slightly and pulled back a little to look into his face.  
  
"You said my name."  
  
"Err yeah." He said, their eyes locking again. Her heart pounded louder as she felt herself drawing nearer, his warmth and comforting scent intoxicated her and she blinked slowly. Their faces were inches apart and she could feel his breath tickling her skin. "V-Vash..."  
  
  
  
Suddenly a loud crash interrupted their moment and they tore apart from each other in sudden embarrassment. Letting their eyes dart around the room they noticed the bowl of water tipped upside down on the floor and beside it sat a small black cat with huge green eyes. It mewed timidly and watched them with a cat-like grin as if it had known that it had interrupted some important moment.  
  
  
  
"Where did you come from?" Meryl snapped at the creature, which merely tilted its head and meowed loudly. Angrily she scooped up the cat and thrust it into Vash's arms before grabbing a towel from a cupboard and began to wipe up the spilled water. Her muttered complaints were slightly unnerving and the cat hissed manically and tore away from its captor and disappeared.  
  
With a new grin plastered across his face Vash raised a hand and yelled "Later!" before retreating down the stairs. Meryl shook her head angrily and threw the soaked towel into the wash basket and paused at the door to think. 'If it wasn't for that cat who knows what would have happened' she shook her head and waited another long moment for her heart to slow to a normal pace then finally she continued downstairs.  
  
Millie sat at the table eating pudding as usual but Vash was nowhere to be seen and with a relieved sigh Meryl collapsed in a chair next to Millie.  
  
"Good morning Meryl" She chirped happily.  
  
"Morning Millie."  
  
"Vash went to buy donuts."  
  
"Why would I want to know where Vash is?" Meryl snapped angrily feeling a slight blush creep into her face.  
  
"I don't know." Came Millie's reply. "Do you want some?" She asked, holding out some pudding with a smile on her face.  
  
"That's alright, I need some fresh air." Meryl stood up again, the chair legs scraping against the floor.  
  
"Okay but this is great pudding!" Millie squealed and began to shovel it into her mouth. Meryl quickly disguised a smile at her friend's antics and glanced over at her cloak. It hung on a hook by the door but looking out at the twin suns she dismissed it and walked out of the door and into the morning sunshine.   
  
The town was surprisingly quiet that morning even though the weather was good and the silence was unnerving. Meryl stretched and turned the corner that led into the familiar town square and closed her eyes as the delicate fingers of light caressed her face. Then she heard the familiar voice and knew it was Vash. With a quick dash she scampered over to an alley and watched him talking to the baker. She waited for him to purchase his usual box of donuts and walk past before letting out her long held breath. She did not feel like talking to Vash just yet and she continued to walk down the alley feeling somewhat miserable. She had let her perfect chance slip away from her grasp!   
  
She soon discovered that the alley led around to where the poorer people lived; the small houses were all lined up together. The roofs were crumbling into the street, windows were broken and doors hung off their hinges. A few people were standing on their doorsteps gazing out into the morning with concern written on their faces.  
  
Meryl felt instantly sorry for these people, she knew what it was like to be poor, and she still was in a way. She always spent her money on renting rooms or buying the boxes of donuts to keep Vash from moaning about hunger pains all the time. Her family had always been quite poor and that had been her motivation for doing well in her job so she wouldn't fall into poverty again.  
  
She narrowed her eyes and noticed the focus of what everyone was looking at. A large van was parked out in the street and a small group of men were yelling angrily and were pushing and shoving people into the back the dirty old van. Something triggered in Meryl's mind and she knew something bad was happening.  
  
Dashing over to the nearest person Meryl asked, "What is going on around here? Who are those people?" The old woman turned to her, tears trembling in her eyes.  
  
"They are horrible men, they take us and use us for slaves." The woman shuddered and began to back away in fear. "Get out of here girl." She added before dashing over to one of the broken huts.  
  
Meryl turned back to the men just in time to see one raise a club to a young girl and reaching into her pocket she grabbed a derringer that she always kept when she didn't have a cloak. Taking aim she fired and struck the club, knocking it from his hand and allowing the young girl to scamper free. All at once there was a great disruption and two of the men gave chase to catch the child.  
  
The man who was obviously the leader, scowled and with a yell ordered three others after her. Meryl's feet froze; they felt as heavy as if they were cast in iron and she watched the approaching men in terror. Using all the strength she could muster she turned and ran but stumbled and fell to the dusty ground beneath her. She coughed violently as dust filled her mouth and lungs before she scrambled to her knees.  
  
"Stay down!" A voice yelled at her and a sudden pain flared in the side of her head knocking her back to the ground. She opened her mouth to scream and swallowed more dust; a single tear escaped from her eye and trembled down her cheek until it mingled with the dust. Then another pain exploded in her skull and her eyes blurred violently and one word escaped her lips before she totally blacked out...  
  
"Vash..."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Well there it is the fourth part...I have to admit it I think it is the worst out of the lot. It's cos I rushed to get it out and wrote it all in just under an hour. I did want to make it a lot longer but I guess I'll try next time.  
  
Anyway I would appreciate it if you would review and maybe give me pointers on how to make the next chapter better and also whether you would like the chapters to be slightly longer too.  
  
Love and Peace. 


	5. Alone

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun; I also don't own Vash even though I wish I did.   
  
Note: Hello all to the fifth part of this fanfic. Just a few things I wanted to say before it starts.  
  
First: I want to apologise for taking so long but I had new inspiration for another fan fic which I will be posting very soon, also my computer keeps crashing on me.  
  
Second: I am going to try and make this the longest chapter so far and I might throw in a few POV's in places to make it more interesting.   
  
Third: I want to thank the reviewers who put in their views...and threats for my last chapter, they go as followed:  
  
Jaded Ayumi - I'm sorry bout the cliffhanger it wasn't actually planned to end like that but I guess I was too lazy to write any more.  
  
Rainy-days13 - Yeah I agree that kitty is naughty but its sooo damn cyuute too!  
  
Silverado6000 - Thanks very much for your review, yeah tragedy is best for bringing people together, especially stubborn ones like Vash and Meryl.  
  
Tough Cookie - even though I was really going to make sure she suffered I think I'll cut down the pain a little just for you ^-^.  
  
CuRsEd - nope the evil man isn't Knives, that would be too obvious, I'm going to play around with his personality a bit though...a sweet Knives. I like that concept ^. ~  
  
Sets17 - Here's the update and thanks for your review.   
  
Dreamer-of-Night - Here's the update, read on to find out if she is saved ^o^  
  
Darkraven - I'm sorry about the cliffhanger, I'll try not to do anymore but that's not a promise.   
  
Dustdragon - hey I don't blame you, who doesn't like that film. You might wanna check out my new fan fic if u like that sort of thing ^.~   
  
Now on with the story:  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Chapter 5: Alone  
  
Her violet eyes flickered open to see nothing but darkness but Meryl could tell she wasn't alone in this horrible place. Lifting a hand to her head she groaned and tried to keep herself from vomiting until she knew where she was. Clearing her mind as much as possible she leaned back against the wall, which trembled and shook.  
  
The smell of other people: light perfume and dusty coats filled her nostrils and she shivered, the nausea taking over all other senses. A shaft of light streamed in from a gap at the far end of the confining space and as her eyes grew more accustomed to the darkness she could make out other people. Her mind fogged over with confusion and she tried to grasp on reality, but the harder she tried to stay conscious the more her grip loosened. Her mind blanked out again and her body fell into a dark oblivion.  
  
Vash paced the room where Knives still lay motionless feeling an uneasiness fill his soul. Meryl still hadn't returned and her disappearance was certainly out of character. He didn't doubt that she could take care of herself - he had been on the receiving end of her strength - but as time ticked by his worry turned to panic.  
  
He paused to look over at his brother and sighed miserably, seeing him so helpless and lacking life made him distraught. Knives had been so full of spirit, intelligence and care when they had been younger and his mind still fought to grasp the fact that it had all changed. He was still intelligent yes, but he used his sharp mind in the wrong way but Vash was hopeful he could change.  
  
After he had won the fight and Knives lay on the ground expecting to be finished off Vash promised him that he would take care of him. Those had been the last words that Rem had said to him, and that is what he planned to do.   
  
Vash was positive that Knives could change with his help and the insurance girls there by his side. He himself had seen the kindness in his brother, a side that no one else had seen.  
  
"That will all change." He told his unconscious brother and then his mind trailed back to Meryl again. 'Where is she?' he wondered desperately when suddenly he heard the door downstairs open. His heart leapt with relief and he dashed out of the room to greet her and also shout at her for being late.  
  
Turning the corner into the small room downstairs his heart fell in disappointment at seeing only Millie's cheery face. She undid the stun gun hidden beneath her cloak and stretched, grateful to be free of its weight.   
  
"Hello Mr. Vash." She smiled.   
  
"Hello." He raised a hand and smiled back the best he could, but Millie caught the strange look in his eyes.  
  
"Is something wrong?"  
  
"No..." He trailed off and sighed, his face creasing into a frown even as he spoke.  
  
"Gee Mr. Vash you're not a very good liar.' She announced and looked around curiously. "Where's Meryl?" Instantly she saw the worried look on Vash's face and she approached the door again, slinging the stun gun across her shoulder.  
  
"Where are you going now?" Vash asked, a clueless expression on his face.  
  
"I'm going to look for Meryl." She announced and with that she left the house, the noise of the closing door echoed around the silent house. Vash shivered at the sensation of being left alone and wished with all his heart that Meryl would just walk back through the door.   
  
"She's going to walk through that door riiiiiiight.............NOW!" he said hopefully, when nothing happened he raised an eyebrow, "now" he stated quieter...."now" he pleaded, clasping his hands together and making puppy eyes at the inanimate door. "Fine! Be that way!" He yelled throwing up his hands in exasperation and trudging back upstairs to worry some more.  
  
***Meryl's POV***  
  
I had that nightmare again, and still I don't know what it means. 'Could it be a premonition of what has still yet to pass? Do I even believe in the psychic stuff?' I would have said no before I met up with Vash and went on the crazy journey that led to me being taken away.   
  
  
  
'Taken away! That's right I remember now, those slavers came into town and were causing trouble for that little girl. So was I captured too? I guess anything is possible in this cruel world.'  
  
I sat up and look around; the walls are no longer moving so I can safely assume I have been taken from the van and been put somewhere...small, confined and dark. 'No difference so far' I thought glumly and raised a hand to my throbbing head, if I moved I knew that I would vomit, so I lay still on the cold ground waiting for something to happen.  
  
It wasn't long before there was some movement and I realised that I was not alone in the cell. Obviously whoever was with me had been knocked unconscious too and I rolled my head to one side feeling the pain drill into my skull. I drew in a sharp breath to stop myself from crying out in agony and tried to calm my whirling vision.  
  
A loud scrap of a boot sent needles of pain through my head and I gasped at the sudden interruption of silence. In the dark something moved and I shivered with fear wondering desperately if he or she was friendly until a soft sob reached my ears. 'A child!' I realised and being very careful not to jolt my skull I pulled my body up into a sitting position.  
  
  
  
"W-who's there?" a terrified voice asked and I tried to reach out in the darkness. My fingertips brushed up against a wall, which had been surprisingly close to my face, and I recoiled in distaste. The wall was covered in a thick layer of slime from being in such a damp area.  
  
"Don't worry I wont hurt you." My voice was surprisingly calm but the fluttering of my heart told me otherwise, I was in a panicked state and it was all I could do to hold onto my sanity. If something else occurred I probably would be overcome with madness.  
  
"I'm Ashley." The voice said and I smiled.  
  
"That's a pretty name. I'm Meryl." I announced softly keeping one hand pressed against my skull to try and help the pain.  
  
"Are we going to die?" Her little voice asked and I trembled - whether from cold or fear I'm not sure - before trying to answer. Yet before I could a door opened and light burst into the room, temporarily blinding me.  
  
***Vash's POV***  
  
I paced the room for what seemed like the thousandth time when I heard the door open downstairs. Glancing at my still unconscious brother sadly I hesitated to leave the sanctuary of the room. If I went out to see who it was my life could be changed forever, ignorance really is bliss.  
  
Checking my gun was in its holster I prepared myself for the worst and headed back downstairs. Just as expected Millie was alone and looking terribly frightened and I closed my eyes wishing I hadn't seen that expression on her face. 'It really doesn't suit her.'   
  
"Did you find anything?" I asked and she straightened up, her eyes whirling with tears and her lip trembling from holding back sobs.  
  
"Oh Mr. Vash!" She exclaimed running over to me and clasping my forearms with a death grip. I have to admit, that girl is pretty strong and I'm glad that she wasn't the one to hit me all the time.   
  
"What? What's happened?" I asked frantically and she shook her head as if lost for words. "Millie!" I yelled and she snapped out of her terror-stricken trance.  
  
"I happened to come across a woman...she said that slavers came into town today." She said slowly, her hands trembling from the tight grip.  
  
"Slavers?" I questioned in confusion, 'what do slavers have to do with anything' at that time I didn't realise just how stupid that question was. I mean duh; Millie wasn't just going to start a conversation about slavers if it was totally nothing to do with Meryl. Sometimes I think Meryl is right about me being a...pea-brained idiot...but lets forget that, back to the situation at hand.  
  
"...Yes, slavers took Meryl!" Millie finished and that was all I had to hear of the conversation to fill in the rest.   
  
"Then what are we waiting for, let's go!" I shrieked.  
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Meryl found herself being led down another narrow corridor, small lanterns were fixed into the wall and cast a soft glow onto the floor. Her head spun and hurt with every agonised step and twice she vomited before they reached another corridor. This one widened considerably and along the right side was rows and rows of cells.  
  
As they passed them Meryl saw how many people had been trapped here, each cell held at least three people, but the numbers went up to seven in some. She looked into the faces of some of the people and was disheartened to see that some were just children no older than eight. They varied in ages but none older than forty with the women separated from men. Some reached out to tug at her clothes, hollow eyes and mouths opening in silent pleas but she knew she could not help them. She was in the same position.   
  
They stopped suddenly and she was jolted to a halt, her stomach threatening to pour out any leftover contents. Her wrists were then shackled together and she was pushed into the cell along with the small child who had been with her before. Another woman sat in the corner watching them with dark, hungry eyes.  
  
Meryl settled down in the far corner, the girl Ashley curled up next to her fearfully. The men locked the door and laughed at them before continuing down the corner, the rattling of keys echoing and fading.   
  
The woman who was sitting in the shadows began to hum and rocked back and fourth, her long tangled hair sprawling across her face. Her mouth was twisted in a maniacal grin and her empty eyes stared into nothing.  
  
Meryl forced herself to sleep and tried to forget the cold and hunger that was eating into her. By the time she awoke she heard a lot of yelling and knew that more was in store for her. She stood up on shaky legs just in time, two angry looking men strode to their cell unlocked the door and ordered out the three, and they followed silently.   
  
They were led from the cells and down a corridor, which curved downwards and swung to the left, entering a huge room. Other slaves were working already, their hands shackled far enough apart to enable them to hold strange curved tools, which they chipped into the walls relentlessly.   
  
"You lot." A man pointed at Meryl and the two others that had been in her cell, instantly men hoarded around them and dragged their bodies across the room and set them down by a large wall.  
  
"Get looking, find anything let us know, work hard, if you fail our expectations then you will be punished!" The man's voice yelled angrily and instantly everyone started to work harder.  
  
Meryl turned her head to the pickaxe, which lay at her feet, and lifting it in her shackled hands she chipped away at the hard black rock. She wondered who these people were and what they were supposed to be finding. Obviously this was some kind of mine that they had discovered but it must have something important hiding in the walls for them to resort to such methods. With an angry yell she took her fury out on the wall in front of her until her arms trembled with fatigue and her head spun with regained nausea. It was then that her mind flitted back to her friends... 'Millie must be so worried by now', even though she had no idea of the time of day she knew it had been a long while. 'And Vash, he's probably blaming himself for my disappearance'.  
  
"This is all my fault!" Vash whined pathetically from his seat by the window. Millie sighed and shook her head at him.  
  
"Don't blame yourself Mr. Vash, I'm sure we'll find something that might give us a clue to where she went." With that she sat down in a chair opposite him and watched his expression of sorrow and fear with a breaking heart. Millie had hoped this would be the last time she would see such an expression on his face, it had been hard enough before but without Meryl she felt useless.  
  
"Do you think that she will be okay?" Vash asked and their eyes met.  
  
"Meryl will be fine, she's strong."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Mr. Vash..."  
  
"Yeah Millie?"  
  
"I think that maybe I should tell you something, I mean this probably would be better coming from Meryl but I don't think she would ever get round to telling you herself."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You see...Meryl lo..." A sharp knock at the door both brought them to their feet and Millie who was the quickest to respond ran over and threw it open.  
  
A scared looking woman was standing at the door, her ragged clothes very apparent in the light. It had been almost two days since Meryl's disappearance and now the evening light was falling once again. The woman cleared her throat and began to speak in slow, steady words: "I have news of your friend."  
  
Millie glanced back at Vash who nodded and they invited the woman in. It turned out the poor woman had been the one who was approached by Meryl. She had witnessed the bravery of the young woman trying to save the child and also seen her being beaten and dragged into the slavers' van. She then told them the direction and Vash instantly ran to the door, he stretched out his hand to grab the handle when a thought hit him, 'Knives!' he turned to see Millie looking at him and she nodded thoughtfully, then as if she had read his mind she said: "I'll look after your brother, please go and find Meryl, okay?" Vash nodded and left the small house.  
  
He turned in the right direction and glared into the setting suns, his hand falling to the silver gun on his hip. He raised his sunglasses and set them on the bridge of his nose, the orange glass hiding the anger in his eyes. 'No one hurts my insurance girl.'   
  
Note: I was gonna end there but I was really in the mood for writing so I continued:  
  
Meryl woke up to be greeted by the same dark cell and biting cold, she assumed that she had been trapped now for several days and wondered why she hadn't been rescued. Maybe they had given up on her, or had no clue as to where she was taken. Yet the hope that someone might come and help her escape was the only thought that kept her going.  
  
Food was thrown through the bars of their cell, three small chunks of bread that were tough and stale. The crazed woman who had not spoken a word since Meryl had been there snatched at the food and returned to her corner and Ashley took the last two and handed Meryl hers.  
  
"I want to go home." She whimpered as she ate the bread and cuddled up against Meryl's side.   
  
"I know you do, don't worry we wont be here forever." Meryl forced a smile and handed Ashley her ration of bread.  
  
"Don't you want it?" Her huge eyes hoping that she would say no.  
  
"I'm not hungry." That was a lie, she had never been so hungry in her life, but even now she could not bring herself to eat when the child was so hungry.   
  
A loud snap echoed down the corridor and the sound of rattling keys and the opening and closing of doors ensued. Sighing with fatigue Meryl stood and watched as their own cell was opened, they were then led down the corridor to the large room that would await them every day.   
  
***Millie's POV***  
  
'Mr. Vash has been gone for two days now, I'm not sure whether that's a good thing of not'. I glance out of the window for the fiftieth time this morning and sigh at the empty street. I feel so worried that I haven't even touched the pudding that I brought a few days ago. I know that Meryl is strong and she can probably take care of herself but she hasn't been herself lately and she has been missing for four days now.   
  
I look back at Mr. Knives who is still lying motionless on the bed; I'm glad that he hasn't woken up yet. It's strange to think that he could be Mr. Vash's twin brother when he is so different.   
  
The pudding is looking at me from the side and I slip towards it, okay I hadn't touched the pudding up till now. 'Yum chocolate!' So I tucked into the pudding hoping that no one would notice when there was a strange sound in the room. 'He's awake!' I whirled round choking on pudding but saw nothing out of the ordinary.   
  
Then I saw the reason for the sound and laughed happily. A small black cat was trying to clamber onto the bed where Knives lay but had fallen back down onto the floor.  
  
  
  
"Oooo, cyuute little kitty." I raced up to the black kitty and picked it up and heard another meow and saw two other kitties, they were so small and they had to be baby kitty cats. So I ran to the kitchen and brought back a bottle of milk for them. Now I'm not feeling so alone.   
  
Note: I was gonna end it there but I'm really on a role here so on with the story:  
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Meryl tried desperately to work on but every muscle in her body was strained and bruises covered her arms and legs from where she had been struck by the men who patrolled the room. Hunger knawed at her stomach and her small frame shook with cold.   
  
The sound of the slaver's footsteps echoed through her skull but she couldn't force her body to move, tears threatened in her eyes but she wouldn't cry. Crying would be of no use to her now and it would just make things worse.   
  
A sudden shouting brought her back from her thoughts and she turned round slowly to see the slaver raising the stout whip above his head to strike a child. Meryl recognised the child as Ashley and without another thought she used the last of her energy to dash between Ashley and the man.  
  
"Get out of my way!" He yelled furiously but even if she had wanted to she couldn't have moved. Ashley whimpered behind her and dashed away, the chains from her shackles clanking noisily as she went back to her work.   
  
"You bitch!" The man yelled and knocked Meryl in the side with the whip. Gasping from the sudden pain she fell onto her side clutching her ribs in agony. There was a few seconds before his boot came in contact with her side again, sprawling her across the floor. The crack of bones shattered in her ears and the tears finally slid free.  
  
"I have had just about enough of you. Don't think I haven't been watching." He snarled and Meryl lifted her head slightly to look into his eyes.   
  
"I-I don't know w-what you mean."  
  
"Of course you do, you only work when we pass by, and when you think we don't look your resting." He snarled and lifted her up in a painful clasp. She struggled frantically as he lifted the pickaxe that she had been using or trying to use just a moment ago.  
  
Meryl stopped struggling and looked into the man's face knowing very well he wanted to hurt her. She was too tired to struggle any more let alone run if she did escape his hold, it was too late, her hope had run dry.   
  
He brought the sharp end of the pickaxe to rest just below her collarbone and scraped downwards watching with amusement at her gasp of pain. A slither of blood rose to the surface of the scratch and trickled down her skin.   
  
"I'll show you true pain." He snarled viciously and slashed a groove down the centre of her chest. She tried to stifle a scream but the pain burned with such intensity that a sob broke free, the blood scaring her more than she would have admitted. 'I'm going to die in this place.' She realised as her vision failed.   
  
Vash paused and tried to catch his breath, the heat blazed down and he felt somewhat disorientated. He knew where the place was, but seeing the empty horizon worried him. His calculations had told him it should take just over two days but he had been travelling for two already and there was still no sign of the mine.  
  
Staring up at the twin suns he sighed and continued to cross the hot and dusty desert to reach his goal and find Meryl. 'I hope she's alright.' Suddenly he felt a searing pain in his chest and his heart clenched in agony. That signal was enough to quicken his pace. 'She's hurt, I have to hurry.' He decided and broke into a run, ignoring the pain from his aching muscles.   
  
* * * * * *  
  
Okay I really have finished this chapter now. It's my longest one so far yay. So without further ado I wanna know what you thought so click on the review button and type away, it makes me hap-hap-happy!   
  
'Love & Peace' to you all 


	6. Anger

Disclaimer: Nopies I don't own Trigun, I mean come on I'm just a poor student...  
  
Note: Well hello to the sixth instalment of my fanfic, this chapter will hopefully be long but I'm not making any promises so without further ado I must thank my reviewers:  
  
Dustdragon - Okay one of Kuroneko's babies has been reserved with the name Shadow. lol (=^.^=) meow!  
  
Sets17 - here's your update and thanks for your review, you don't know how much they help keep me going ^-^  
  
Dreamer-of-Night - here is the update, sorry for the delay, read on to find out what happens. Thanks for your review.  
  
Silverado6000 - I'll keep your idea in mind when I rite this, to be honest I have been struggling with how Vash would react and I might actually make him go crazy ^-^ I guess we'll have to see.   
  
Chibi Atto-san - *bows* thank you for your kind review.   
  
Blood-lust6 - sorry to make you wait, and don't worry I'm the melodramatic type too!  
  
Vashfan311 - I know I was mean to Meryl, don't get me wrong I don't hate her its just that cos her and Vash are so stubborn I thought that it would take a tragedy to help bring them together. Thanks for your review.  
  
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Chapter 6: Anger  
  
Millie leaned back in the chair next to Knives' bed and sighed miserably, the small black kitten she had named Shadow sat curled in her lap. Its eyes were closed and a soft purr emanated from its throat. The mother cat and other kitten had seemed to have disappeared but this one had remained to keep her company.  
  
Every minute that passed she grew more and more nervous and miserable, and her stomach twisted painfully when she thought of Meryl. She had let her friend down and could do nothing but sit on a chair and wait for news of her safety. She tried to keep her mind off of such things, sometimes letting her blue-eyed gaze fall to the small window to the quiet streets of the town below. Sometimes people would speak loud enough for her to hear their conversations and she was glad to hear another sound other than that of the little black cat that sat with her.   
  
Remembering the words of her big big sister she sighed and forced herself not to worry so much, there was nothing she could do but take care of Vash's brother. He was healing very fast and already she could see that he looked much healthier. The bullet wounds were healing fast and she knew he would wake up any day now. That thought did not scare her as much as she thought it would. At least then she would have something else on her mind other than Meryl and Vash.   
  
  
  
Shadow mewed quietly and she let him climb down from her lap and scamper through the door, which stood ajar and eased herself out of the chair. She could not spend her whole day sitting in the same room and with that she started for the door. Just as she reached it she heard a sound and turning round quickly her heart froze in realisation - he was awake!  
  
***Meryl's POV***  
  
I awoke to find the familiar walls of my cell and shuddered with cold, the pain from the gash in my chest hurt worse than anything else I had ever endured and it took all my effort to sit up.  
  
Touching the wound tentatively I felt the stickiness of blood and trembled violently as the pain flared up along the wound. A strangled cry escaped my dry throat and I brushed my hair away from my eyes when suddenly I felt something touch my arm. Swinging round in terror I gasped in shock and relief at seeing only little Ashley next to me, her large eyes trembling with tears.  
  
"I'm sorry Meryl." She mumbled.  
  
"What for?" I asked kindly and reached over to take her tiny hand into my own. If I was finding this hard then this little girl must be terrified. Sure she hadn't received any injury like me, but she probably missed her parents.  
  
"For getting you hurt." She sniffed and rubbed at the tears that were escaping and running down her cheeks. I forced a smile and used my sleeve to wipe her tears away, my muscles screaming in protest of the movement.  
  
We moved over to huddle in the corner and I pulled Ashley into my lap and allowed her to nestle against me. I cared so much for her that she could have been my own daughter. I have never thought about having a family or settling down before now, but the notion didn't seem so crazy now, if only I could find the right man.   
  
"Where are your parents?" I asked as I stroked a strand of hair from her pretty face.  
  
"Dead." She answered swiftly and trembled.  
  
"I'm sorry" I paused unsure whether to go on. "How did it happen?"  
  
"They tried to protect me from being taken by the slavers." She answered without emotion and I nodded thoughtfully, even if she did escape she had no one to go home to. At least I had Millie, and Vash.   
  
"Where would you go if you escaped?" I asked curiously and the girl shrugged and shook her head sadly.  
  
"If we get out of here, you can come home with me." I told her and she beamed up at me, her lovely eyes shimmering with happiness.   
  
"Do you live alone?"  
  
"No I live with friends; Millie and Vash."  
  
"Millie?"  
  
"Yes, she is my best friend, you would like her, she has the kindest heart of anyone I know." I grinned at the thought of carefree Millie and wished I could be back at the small house with her.  
  
"And Vash, is he your boyfriend?" She asked innocently, but the remark took me totally by surprise.   
  
"N-no." I stuttered hoping that she couldn't see that my face was burning with embarrassment.  
  
"What is he like?" She continued as she rested her head against me. I winced; feeling the burning pain in my chest but chose to ignore it.   
  
"He is a weird sort of guy, not at all what you would expect of an outlaw." I smiled as I remembered some of his antics and wished that I could see him just one more time - even if it was in my dreams.   
  
"Outlaw? Are you talking about Vash the Stampede?" Ashley interrupted my thoughts.  
  
"Yes, he is the nicest, sweetest guy anyone could ever meet. He cares about everyone; even the people who try to kill him. He is innocent and naïve yet wise and intelligent at the same time."  
  
"Sounds like a really nice person." Ashley murmured.  
  
"He really is...the best thing about him is those gorgeous aqua eyes, I could get lost in those eyes" I sighed.   
  
"So why don't you want him as a boyfriend?"  
  
"Who said I didn't?" I retorted and then realised what I had just said. Ashley pulled back slightly to look into my face and I reddened under her criticising gaze.   
  
"So you do love him then?" Ashley's innocence with the subject brought a smile to my weary face and I sighed deeply.  
  
"Yes I do, very much."  
  
"Does he know?"  
  
"No, and I don't plan on him finding out." I said firmly and she nodded slowly never taking her eyes from mine.  
  
"Understood." She replied then gently got up and sat beside me, her head resting against my arm.  
  
The pain in my chest burned with an incredible intensity and I shivered, 'If only once, I wish my dreams would bring me him' I prayed silently and leaned against the grimy wall. 'I just want to see his face one more time,' tears welled in my eyes and I choked on a sob as the realisation that I would never hear his voice again, never have a chance to argue with him over his ridiculous and childish antics...never have a chance to tell him how I felt.   
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Vash collapsed on the sand, his glasses still shielding his eyes from the setting suns and his clothes covered in dust. His chest heaved with the effort of running across the hot desert and tears glimmered in his eyes. All he wanted was to find Meryl and take her in his arms; if he could do that he would never let her go again. Sitting up he glanced at the wobbling horizon and lifted the orange tinted glasses to allow clearer sight.   
  
His heart leapt in hope as he caught a faint dark object on the horizon. Rubbing the blur and sand from his eyes he whooped with joy and jumped to his feet. No longer did he feel the ache in his muscles, all he felt was the rising hope that he would finally get Meryl back.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll be there soon!" He yelled to the wind, hoping that it would carry his voice to her and began to run. Nothing could stop him from reaching her now, and if anyone tried they would face his wrath.  
  
  
  
Forcing one foot in front of the other he loped on, glad that this new breakthrough was enough to distinguish some of the pain, when suddenly he lost his footing and fell. His mouth and eyes filled with sand as he landed headfirst in the sand. Growling with frustration he rolled over to see what he had tripped over and saw something move beneath the sand. His aqua eyes widened in shock and the hand which had automatically leapt for his gun, relaxed.   
  
"That darn cat." He muttered and glared at the black creature that had risen magically up from the sand. It shook itself and sent a spray of sand over the stunned gunman.  
  
"Meow." It sat down and blinked at him with huge eyes before raising a front paw and licking it with a rough tongue.  
  
"Didn't you hear my warning?" Vash demanded angrily and was answered by a loud, taunting purr. "Fear my wrath!" He yelled before remembering Meryl and mentally slapped himself for being such an idiot.   
  
The same man that had slashed Meryl with the pitchfork forced her awake even before morning had arrived. He snarled fiercely at her and poked the whip between her shoulder blades to force her onto her feet.   
  
"You need to learn patience." She hissed viciously before walking out of the cell and down the familiar corridor. She had made up her mind to ignore the pounding agony in her chest and just act as if nothing was wrong. It was the only way she would survive this ordeal and she had new reason to live if it meant that Ashley could be happy.  
  
The slavers all seemed extremely tense and uneasy that day and Meryl knew something unusual was happening. Maybe someone had caught onto them and they were afraid of being arrested. With this thought, the flame of hope rekindled within her heart and she beat at the rock even more than usual.  
  
As she chipped away at the wall, which seemed to taunt her every day she noticed a slight glimmer beneath the normal brown rock. Pausing slightly she brought her face closer and brushed her fingertips against this new material. Curiosity overcame her other senses and she chipped a little more and wiggled the shining rock free. 'This is what they must be looking for.' She realised and carefully she slipped it into her sleeve since her pockets had been torn - obviously to stop thieving - by the slavers.   
  
Turning slightly she noticed Ashley working hard in the far corner, her small hands trembling from effort and face withdrawn in fear. Meryl felt her anger building as she wondered how these men could possibly be evil enough to trap children. Even if it meant her own death, she would help free Ashley and others like her.   
  
"Hey you!" A familiar voice snapped angrily and she whirled around to see the same man looking down at her, rage twitching in his features. He turned his grizzled head from side to side and glanced around the other slaves who had all paused to watch in fear. He clenched his fists and his large, dark eyes flickered around the room and finally rested upon the defiant insurance girl.  
  
  
  
With quick and fierce movements he grabbed her shackled wrists and pulled her up angrily. With a squeak of fear she desperately hoped the jewel would not fall from her sleeve and make her situation worse when his angry voice echoed deafeningly around the chamber. Candles flickered in fear and all the slaves shuddered and backed up in terror. This man had most likely beat every single one of them, Meryl guessed grimly. Closing her eyes she tried to force back the tears of pain and fear that threatened.   
  
There was a sudden explosion somewhere above them in an upper chamber and they were all thrown off balance. A wave of screams followed soon after as the ceiling began to cave in and scattered the slaves. Ashley darted over to Meryl and the slaver who still held firmly to her wrists and tried to get them away. Her tiny voice washed out by the roaring of breaking rocks.  
  
Meryl's mind blurred with confusion, fatigue, hunger and fear and she could just make out the rumbling sound that echoed in her ears. Adrenaline flooded into her veins and she began to struggle in the slaver's grasp. He roared angrily and sent Ashley sprawling across the floor before throwing Meryl down against the rocky ground. The jewel bit into her skin as she hit her arm against the hard floor and she screamed in agony.   
  
"I'll kill you! Stupid bitch!" He yelled, aiming a boot into her already injured side. Her ribs screamed in agony and the torture reached Meryl's brain instantly. She writhed on the floor, desperately trying to gain control of her body, which no longer seemed like her own.   
  
"Just do it then!" She screamed back, dimly aware of Ashley's presence and falling debris. In seconds he had raised the stout whip and struck her between her shoulder blades.  
  
If she had had enough energy she would have screamed again, but her tired, dust-filled lungs disobeyed and she cried silently on the floor. The blood from the wound streamed down her back and the second blow was so painful that she hardly felt it. Her mind began to whirl in nausea and slowly she began to lose consciousness, her eyesight doubled then tripled and she lay helpless on the ground hoping that a rock would crush her and end her misery.  
  
A flurry of angry yells tore through her skull and she squeezed her eyes tightly closed, praying for death. 'I'm sorry Millie but I wont be coming back, please forgive me...and Vash, I hope you don't blame yourself for this, I really did try to survive. I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was.' She opened her eyes and saw a wave of green and blue before falling into the comfort of unconsciousness and certain death.   
  
(A/N: Well I was going to end it there but I didn't like the idea of being hunted down and tortured for leaving such a mean cliffhanger so on with the story)  
  
***Vash's POV***  
  
After leaving that annoying black cat behind I made quick progress. The black blur of the mine soon became more defined and narrowing my eyes I saw that it was not so far away. The suns had long disappeared and my only light was that of the moons and stars. I didn't mind though, it was probably going to be easier to sneak in unnoticed when covered by shadow.  
  
Thinking about it I had no idea how I was going to get Meryl out without rousing suspicion. Obviously there was going to be a lot of slavers in there as well as other slaves and I couldn't just leave them to suffer. 'Time to come up with a plan, come on Vash think...think!' I paused just outside the mine and glanced nervously around, it was too quiet for my liking and I had a suspicion that guards had been set up just in case someone like me planned to enter and bust up the nice little profit they had going.   
  
Cursing angrily I slipped into the shadows and approached the small building hoping that no one was inside. That hope was short lived as I noticed a small orange light flickering in the slight breeze. I froze in fear and crouched low hoping that if there was someone inside they weren't paying attention to what was going on outside the window. 'Come on there's no time to waste, you have to save Meryl' I thought hastily and dashed across the open ground to where the entrance to the mine waited.   
  
The entrance was a simple, metal hatch in the ground surrounded by pointed boulders to keep it from being so noticeable, and dashing over to the huge metal doors that lay in the rock I grabbed the handles and tugged fiercely. 'Come on stupid door!' Suddenly there was a loud groan of the metal hinges loosening and flipping them open I grimaced at the loud sound they made as they hit the ground.  
  
"Hey who's up there?!" A loud voice yelled and I froze again. Whoever was in the small building had now been alerted and was standing at the door gazing over at me with a glare fiercer than I had ever seen. 'Wow he's scarier than Meryl!' I thought with disbelief and dived through the entrance hearing a gunshot ringing out behind me.   
  
"Is that you Ron?" The same voice called and I let my hand fall to my gun hoping that I wouldn't have to use it.  
  
"Yeah it is." I answered in my sexy, macho voice hoping that this Ron guy spoke a little like that.   
  
"Stop playing around and get your arse down here; a couple of slaves are playing up again. We have to go down there and make sure they learn their place." His voice was alarmingly vicious and I cleared my throat and continued down the steps into the dark mine.  
  
"Who is it?" I asked.  
  
"Who, the slave?"  
  
"Yeah." I answered nervously as I noticed the man further down the corridor, his body silhouetted in the dim candlelight.   
  
"The girl we brought in with the newest batch about a week ago. Quite pretty if I do say so myself, but a bit of an attitude and a temper that's going to get her into trouble if it hasn't already." He answered with a throaty laugh and I felt every muscle in my body tense, 'Meryl!' Feeling panic rising and tightening in my chest I quickened my pace. The man in front of me turned round at hearing my footsteps draw closer and his eyes widened in shock.  
  
"W-who are you?" He yelled fearfully and reached for the rifle that hung at his side. Diving forward I slipped my gun from its holster and cracked him across the head with it, his body falling with a heavy ::thump:: on the ground.   
  
"Your worst nightmare." I replied to the now unconscious man and dashed down the corridor.   
  
After a few minutes of aimlessly walking around I came to a strange tunnel that had rows of cells and the anger welled in me again. Trembling with a terrifying rage I leapt for the slavers who were on guard and knocked them unconscious with ease. There were so many people trapped, all of them screaming and begging for freedom that I found myself swept away in emotions. Tears of rage and sadness streamed down my face and the worst realisation was that Meryl had been one of these innocent people.   
  
Glancing around I heard more shouts and knew that I wouldn't be alone in this tunnel for long and dashing from cell to cell I broke them open with a strength that even I could rarely find. The slaves looked at me in shock and fear then in a split second they realised they were free and dashed up and out of the corridor to where the night would greet them.   
  
Three slavers darted up from the corridor one of them holding an explosive in his hand; they paused and looked at me with distaste and then when they laid eyes on the empty cells their rage erupted. Luckily most of the cells had been empty otherwise many would still be locked inside them, unable to escape.  
  
"You'll pay for this!" One of the men raised his arm, the explosive glinted in his palm and I realised what he was going to do. If he used the explosive then this whole mine would crumble, 'doesn't he know the damage that will cause?'   
  
"NO, STOP!" But even though I yelled as loud as I could it seemed only a whisper and the explosive whirled through the air. Diving quickly out of its path and into one of the cells I braced myself for the explosion.  
  
The destructive weapon made contact with the ground and the result was devastating, Great rocks crashed and crumbled under the pressure and echoed screams from somewhere in the lower chambers reached my ears. In my heart I knew that Meryl was down there and in sudden panic I scrambled over the rocks to look down into the hole that had opened up. I could see nothing through all the dust and not even bothering to check whether the three slavers were still alive - which was a first for me - I stepped over to the newly made entrance.  
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Jumping through the gaping hole in the ceiling Vash landed neatly on his feet and straightened. Lifting his gun in his hand he gazed around sternly, everything was crumbling and falling apart before his eyes. Dust clouded the air and clung to his lungs but he waited patiently for the clouds to settle.   
  
The whimpering of a small child was the first thing he could make out and dashing over to the sound he crouched over a small child. She was curled up in fear, crystal tears trembling down her delicate face. She gasped and looked up at this man standing over her. His kind but worried face was comforting and he smiled softly at her, deep aqua eyes greeting her.   
  
"It's okay, just follow the corridor and get out of here before it collapses." He murmured and helped her to her feet, with a gentle shove he started her in the right direction but she turned and looked at him again.  
  
"Are you Vash The Stampede?" She asked timidly. Vash nodded, his aqua eyes glistening with curiosity. 'How does she know who I am?'  
  
"Meryl is over there, please save her." She informed quickly and then darted from the room not looking back.  
  
Vash's heart leapt into his throat and he rolled forwards to dodge falling boulders, spotting another shape, which parted the dust, a great beast of a man standing proudly. The huge man turned his head back to look at the stranger clad in red and snarled fiercely.   
  
"So you were the person our spies spoke of, a man who goes by the description of the humanoid typhoon." He muttered and raised his arm to protect his eyes from falling debris. "Why are you here?" He asked as another boulder crashed to the ground echoing the screams of slaves and slavers in the chambers above.   
  
Vash steadied himself on the quaking ground and narrowed his eyes, he knew the reason he was standing here right now, and he knew she was around here somewhere. Then he saw the shimmer of white material in the gloom and saw movement. His eyes widened in disgust and shock and he realised that someone lay on the ground, obviously badly injured. The slaver caught the revulsion and horror in Vash's face and realisation snapped into his twisted mind.  
  
"Forget about that one, she's as good as dead anyway." He snarled and aimed another kick at the small woman.  
  
"Stop it!" Vash screamed raising his gun and pressing it against the slaver's forehead causing him to pause in kicking the frail body. All kindness and patience had drained from Vash's eyes, and they glowed with an intense rage that trembled violently out of control. His whole body shook with resentment and he sneered at the fear in the man's face.   
  
Kicking the slaver roughly aside so that he sprawled over onto his front he fired a shot that grazed his shoulder and another, which buried deep into his thigh. With a scream the slaver slumped forwards, awaiting the deadly shot that never came. Turning his head slightly round he saw only the glowing eyes of Vash the Stampede as he stood over him trying to steady the gun that he held at arm's length.   
  
'It would be wrong to kill him...' Vash's mind raced in confusion, he could already see the puddles of blood forming by the man's leg and shoulder. 'He hurt Meryl, all these people. So many innocent people have suffered.'  
  
"You should die!" Vash yelled, tears forming in his eyes and trembling as they welled and spilt over his face. "But, I...I just can't." Stepping back he replaced his gun in the holster and returned his gaze to Meryl who was writhing in pain. He crouched by her side just as her body fell still and rolling her over in his arms he looked into her eyes. The violet orbs stared back at him without recognition and they rolled upwards as her eyelids flickered closed.  
  
Vash gathered her up into his arms, her cold, light body pressed against him. Trembling intensely from having her frozen form pressed against him he forced back threatening tears and began to make his way up and out of the mine. No longer did he notice the crumbling tunnels, or the lack of light or air. His focus was only on the beautiful yet abused woman lying in his soft embrace.  
  
She felt so frail that he was afraid that if he held her any tighter she would crumble into ashes. Tears shook free from his eyes and scattered onto her face, cleansing the dirt that had gathered on her skin. He couldn't even start to understand the pain that she must have suffered.   
  
As he carried her up and out into the moonlight the slaves who had been standing outside watching the devastation around them gathered around to thank him. He forced a smile onto his face and as they cleared away to give him room he laid Meryl's unconscious form onto the ground.  
  
"I'm so sorry Meryl, this is all my fault." He murmured and noted the bloodstain on the front of her top; the material too was slightly torn. Her legs were covered in bruises and cuts, which had bled and had been left unattended. He was pretty sure that she had a lot more injuries but was afraid to remove any clothing in case of reopening wounds and causing more blood loss.  
  
Slipping off his coat he carefully wrapped it around her shoulders and fastened it around her body hoping that it would offer extra warmth, then delicately he lifted her up into his gossamer embrace and began to carry her home.   
  
***Vash's POV***  
  
My heart shattered at seeing her like this, my strong, capable Meryl who could fight as well as me was now torn and broken. It scared me to think of how many wounds she might be concealing, the blood I noticed on her front and back was exceptionally worrying and part of me hoped I would never know what had happened to her.  
  
If she told me all the pain that she felt I might be tempted to search out the men who had been responsible and do worse than just leave them to be found by authorities. Yet if she did confide in me then I would listen to her and help her through this, it was the least I could do for letting her down. I had come so close to killing that man that it scared me, but part of me felt justified in going as far as I did.  
  
It wasn't just Meryl who had suffered, there were others too: children, other women and men. I held her slightly tighter, desperate to get the warmth back into her body, hoping beyond everything else that she would recover. The awful realisation of the long walk home still tapped away in my mind but I forced the negative thoughts away.  
  
Looking up I was startled to find a few others had followed me, one of them being the young girl who had recognised me and told me that Meryl had been there. I leaned over to her being careful not to hurt Meryl and got the child's attention. She approached me cautiously, her eyes lingering on Meryl before breaking out into a smile.  
  
"How did you know who I was?" I asked.  
  
"Meryl spoke of you. I'm Ashley." She said shyly and I smiled at the innocent girl.  
  
"Well Ashley why are you heading this way?"  
  
"Please sir, I have nowhere to go, and Meryl said that if we escaped I could go stay with her." She flushed and lowered her gaze to the ground, kicking at a stone.  
  
"It's fine with me." I grinned and winced, feeling an icy breeze, which whirled across the desert. I held Meryl protectively to my chest afraid that the cold might heighten her pain and sighed miserably. I could feel the stickiness of new blood on her back and knew that the wounds had reopened.   
  
"Is she your girlfriend?" Ashley asked with a smug look on her face and I looked up, startled at the sudden question.  
  
"N-no...I mean...well we're just friends." I swore silently as I felt my face burning with embarrassment.   
  
"Well I think you would make a cute couple." She said, her mouth forming a perfect smile. I looked at her trying to think of an answer and desperately trying to ignore what she had just said.   
  
'Sure Meryl is pretty cute, and I have to admit that I have grown kind of fond of her but...there is no way she could feel that way about me. Plus it could never work out anyway, there's no point thinking about things that wont happen.'   
  
Watching the stars twinkling above I vowed that from now on I would never let her out of my sight again. Even if my feelings had grown further than friendship I wouldn't put our relationship into jeopardy because of my stupid male hormones spiralling out of control.  
  
We paused and stared across the dusty track and rested against a boulder to shelter from the wind. I settled Meryl in my lap and stroked the rebellious hair, which was blocking my view of her face. Peering around I noticed Ashley standing, with her back turned and the few others who were travelling with us sitting on the ground.   
  
Stroking the dark strands of hair, which hung down over her eyes I traced my fingertips across her jaw and smiled at the softness of her skin even though she had been through so much. She looked quite peaceful even though I knew that she was badly injured, and fresh tears sprang painfully into my eyes again. Lowering my face to hers so I could feel her shallow breathing on my skin I remembered the time before when we had been like this: She had been nestled in my lap, warm and healthy, her eyes filled with a deep affection - for me? No not for me. I had longed to kiss her then but was too afraid of her response, and now to steal a kiss to make up for the lost one before didn't seem like such a big deal.  
  
For one thing she wouldn't be able to hit me, or shout and give me a headache. Stifling a grin at how cute she was when she was angry I closed the gap between us and covered her mouth with mine. She didn't respond, but it was enough for me. The softness of her lips and unique taste that remained on my mouth long after was intoxicating and my heart pounded louder. The warmth was returning to her skin and I brushed my mouth against hers again before pulling myself away. I was about to lean forwards to steal another when I heard Ashley call in excitement. Raising my head and glaring into the night I was surprised by two glowing lights that blinded me briefly before dimming to allow my vision to see what was approaching. My breath caught in my throat as I realised what it was.  
  
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So there it is, my sixth chapter. I spent quite a while doing this and checking it through so there shouldn't be any spelling mistakes, and if there is you can beat me up. I will try to update quickly but because of all the homework it might not be as quick as u would like.  
  
So plz review for me cos it really makes my day, and the more reviews I get the more encouraged I am to write another chapter quicker...blackmail? No its gentle persuasion.  
  
So you see the review button, click it and tell me what you think.  
  
'Love & Peace' to you all. 


	7. Pain

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun; I'm just a fan that's all.  
  
Note: Sorry bout the wait, its been over a week so once again I'm sorry. I was planning another Trigun fan fiction and got carried away with it. So once again let's thank all my lovely reviewers:  
  
ToughCookie: Yes I agree with you, Ashley is going to play a vital role with Vash and Meryl's relationship.   
  
Dreamer_of_Night: (=*.*=) kitty eyes lol. Read on to find out, but don't worry I'm mean but not that mean. *Screaming heard in background* hey I told you to be quiet! *Closes door and shuts out screams*   
  
Silverado6000: *wipes away a tear* thank you so much for your kind review, it means a lot and helps keep me updating faster.  
  
Rainy-days13: here's your update and thanks for the review it means a lot, I hope you enjoy this chappie.  
  
Darkraven: Yeah kisses are all good, here's your update oh kind reviewer *bows*   
  
Pammi: yay hello new reviewer and welcome to my fan fiction, thank you so much for your review. I will keep the Millie/Knives relationship in mind. *hugs*   
  
Dustdragon: here is your update new best friend.  
  
AnImEfREeK: yay another new reviewer, I'm glad you enjoyed my writing, I do try my very best when I write these but the good thing is I get better with practise which means longer and more detailed chapters for you. I'm working on making this my longest chapter yet.  
  
Wow I think that's a record of reviews for me I'm so happy.  
  
'Love and Peace' to you all  
  
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Chapter 7 - Pain  
  
The moons reached out their delicate tendrils of light to gently caress the desert, making it glow with purity. It was this gossamer light that revealed the approaching bus: its yellow paint smooth and shining with the starlight.   
  
The track was always bumpy and the driver tried his best to drive around dips or rocks that blocked the way. Turning in his seat he glanced around the nearly empty bus. Two men and a woman with a child in her lap were the only ones travelling tonight. He himself was curious as to why anyone would want to travel at such a late time. Swivelling around in his chair to look ahead his eyes widened in shock, a small girl was standing on the track waving her arms frantically. Her hair flowed and caught the sparkling stars in their delicate strands and he slammed on the breaks forcing the bus to a screeching, ungraceful stop.   
  
Opening his eyes that he had closed from fear the driver sighed and leaned forward to rest his forehead against the steering wheel. There were a few mumbled complaints from his passengers that were silenced as the driver opened the door to allow the child on. She clambered up to him breathing hard and trying to catch her breath so she could speak.   
  
"Please mister we need your help." She begged as she clung to the door of the bus.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"My friends." The driver followed the direction of her pointing hand and narrowed his eyes to see the friends she was talking about. "Slaves" he breathed in disbelief. The girl nodded and indicated for the others to approach.   
  
"Do you have any money?" The driver asked with a quirk of his eyebrow, already knowing the answer.  
  
"No sir we don't but..."   
  
"Ashley!" A voice yelled and interrupted her, the girl turned to an approaching man with a woman lying motionless in his arms.  
  
The blonde man stepped up next to Ashley and directed his cool gaze towards the driver who was busy staring at the blood that stained the woman's clothing.  
  
"What can I do for you?" The driver asked stupidly.  
  
"I was hoping you could give us a lift back to town." The blonde man stated simply, a slight pleading tone in his weary voice.  
  
"Well..." the driver began but Vash interrupted him knowing that the man was going to give some sort of excuse.  
  
"If you don't help us she will die." He indicated the raven-haired girl whom he held gently in his embrace. The bus driver cast her another long look and sighed, he knew he was going to regret this but he couldn't turn his back on these people. He checked with the few passengers who nodded in agreement and allowed the slaves onboard. In return he gained a smile from each of them.  
  
Vash made his way to the back of the bus and sat down still holding Meryl tightly to him. He could not believe their luck in finding a bus in the middle of nowhere, this luck was the difference between life and death for the woman he loved. Ashley sat on the chair in front of him and peered back to check on Meryl, her large eyes filled with worry and...guilt.  
  
"I'm the reason she was hurt." She informed, tears shimmering in her eyes and Vash looked up with a confused look in his eyes.   
  
"Don't blame yourself." He whispered quietly.  
  
"No you don't understand. The first time she was beaten was because she was protecting me from being hit by the slaver." She paused and sniffed back tears, her face sad and ashamed.   
  
"Then at least there was a good reason behind the injuries." Vash forced a smile and let his hand run through Meryl's hair. He noticed that she had let it grow whilst he had been away fighting Knives and realised how much it suited her.  
  
"She was so kind to me." Ashley continued and Vash nodded. He could imagine Meryl caring for others and not herself - another trait he admired about her - she was selfless.   
  
Ashley curled up on the chair and closed her eyes, listening to the steady, rhythmic thrumming of the bus. Sighing in contentment at being warm and lying on something soft she fell asleep, glad that she could stay with Meryl longer. She wanted a chance to play matchmaker, especially since it was so obvious that Vash and Meryl were desperately in love with each other. A small black cat appeared from beneath the chair mewing quietly and leapt up to lean against the child.  
  
***Back at the house***  
  
Knives icy blue eyes scanned the room as he sat up, the bright light blinded him briefly, and as he let his eyes take in his surroundings he spotted Millie. She was standing by the door, face curving with a smile but also with nervousness.   
  
They stared at each other for the longest time, both refusing to back down when suddenly Millie snapped from her trance and approached him. Knives scowled and gritted his teeth trying desperately to stay conscious.  
  
"Mr. Knives." Millie's voice interrupted his pain, "You really need to rest, and your wounds still haven't healed, although I must say they are doing very well." The bright tone of her voice irritated yet attracted him and he looked at her again. 'Must be one of Vash's idiotic friends, but why isn't she afraid of me or angry for what I did to my brother?'   
  
  
  
Shifting nervously he tried to ask why she was here but all he managed was a croaky "Why?" Millie's head snapped up and their blue eyes locked. An awkward silence fell upon them but he couldn't break their contact no matter how much he wanted to.  
  
"I'm not sure I know what you mean." She replied with a strained tone. "If you mean; why am I helping you? The answer is simple." She paused and laid a hand on his shoulder, "because Mr. Vash left you in my care." Knives scowled and tugged away from her touch, suddenly crying out in pain.  
  
"You should lie down Mr. Knives, there that's better isn't it. You will heal in no time at all, but I expect you are wondering about Mr. Vash aren't you." She paused and pulled the blankets over him. "You see my friend Meryl was taken by slavers - lets see - about a week ago, and your brother being so kind has gone to rescue her. I'm really starting to worry about them though; I haven't heard a thing since Mr. Vash left. I just hope that after all this, those two will stop being so stubborn and just speak with their hearts."   
  
Knives listened without interest and slowly the darkness of sleep took him. Millie's voice became slurred together so that the words made no sense at all. The last thing he thought before allowing the darkness to win was: 'that girl talks too much"  
  
***Vash's POV***  
  
Ashley had fallen asleep, curled up like a kitten in the seat in front and watching her sleep made me feel even more tired than I was. I wanted to sleep more than anything but I was afraid of leaving Meryl totally unprotected. If she woke up I wanted to be there to encourage her and tell her everything was all right. Sighing I leaned my head against the window and watched the sand flowing by. The warmth of the bus and the steady noise of the engine were making me drowsy and I yawned loudly.   
  
"Don't worry, I'll take care of you." I whispered and made sure she was still wrapped tightly in my coat, pleased at seeing a slight colour returning to her face and her breathing becoming deeper. I stroked the strands of hair away from her face and let out a long breath, she was so beautiful I can't believe I had never noticed before. This gorgeous woman lying in my arms stunned me and I shifted her so that she rested up against my chest, her head placed over my heart. I wrapped her in the circle of my arms and rested my chin against the top of her head, enjoying this close moment we were sharing.  
  
The other slaves had all fallen asleep by now and I finally let my eyes fall closed - this was one battle I could never win - sleep was always stronger. It seemed like my eyes were only closed for a couple of seconds when I was being shaken into consciousness.  
  
"Ten more minutes." I moaned and turned my head away when I heard laughter and my eyes flew open. Ashley was standing in the gangway shaking me lightly, and blinking sleepily I realised we had arrived in town.  
  
"Come on, we need to find a doctor for Meryl." She shouted and tugged at my arm again.  
  
"Okay, okay" I complained and stood up feeling my tortured muscles screaming at me.   
  
Thanking the driver who nodded and made me promise to take care of Meryl I walked alongside Ashley speaking the directions to the house, hoping that Millie was home. It didn't take long to reach the tiny house and opening the door I slipped inside and called out.  
  
"Millie are you in?" I was answered by the sound of footsteps on the stairs and Millie's relieved face, which instantly turned to one of terror at seeing Meryl. Quickly she pushed me to the stairs and ordered me to take her to her room before rushing out to find the doctor. Ashley stood in the living room looking lost but I gave her a smile and disappeared up the flight of stairs.   
  
I lay the beautiful woman on the bed and stroked the hair away from her eyes wishing that they would open and look at me. Then carefully I stepped back knowing that the doctor wouldn't want me to stay and waited by the door, keeping my eyes on her motionless form.  
  
It seemed to take forever for the doctor to arrive but when she did Millie accompanied her into the room and I was forced to wait outside with Ashley. The little girl sat on the sofa looking extremely worried.  
  
"You hungry?" I asked but she shook her head. "Oh come on, you must be and it's important to eat." I went over to the kitchen and found some soup that looked like it might be tasty, whatever you're thinking I am a good cook when I want to be. I made Ashley eat all her food and managed some myself before going upstairs, pausing outside Meryl's room. I could hear soft voices coming from inside and strained my ears to listen.  
  
"She is in a terrible state, the wounds will probably leave terrible scars and her ribs are definitely broken." The doctor was saying and I bit back tears that threatened. I hated to think of my beautiful Meryl with scars of her own - physical and emotional. I continued down the corridor to the bathroom and jumped into the shower hoping that the water would ease the pain in my muscles. It didn't.   
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Millie could not believe how hurt Meryl was, she had a terrible gash down the centre of her chest and two great marks on her back, all of these still bled and looked badly infected. The doctor had taken a lot of time to treat these and wrap bandages around them to keep them from getting worse. Her side was also blotched with black and purple bruises from where her ribs had been smashed. Millie then helped to dress her in a nightshirt and pulled the thick blankets up around her body.  
  
The doctor stood up to leave and closed her eyes in disbelief. "I hope those slavers get what they deserve." She mumbled angrily then turned to Millie, "You need to change the bandages daily and put on the ointment, I will be back tomorrow afternoon to check on her progress. If she wakes up tell her everything is all right and make sure she gets some rest.  
  
Millie sighed and showed the doctor to the door saying thanks and waving goodbye. She turned round and wiped tears away from her blue orbs when she spotted a little girl sitting up at the dining table with an empty bowl set in front of her.  
  
"Well hello there." Millie smiled and walked over to her, taking a seat opposite the tired little child. "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Ashley, I was trapped with Meryl at the slave place." She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes sleepily.   
  
"I'm Millie, pleased to meet you, where is Vash."  
  
"Shower." She answered tiredly.   
  
"Well I guess we better find a place for you to sleep. Let's see now, Meryl will need someone to watch over her and I'm sure that person will be Vash. So he will sleep in my bed, Knives can't really have anyone in his room but I guess I can since he already knows me. Do you mind sleeping on the couch?"  
  
"Not at all ma'am, it has to be more comfortable than a damp, stone floor."  
  
"That's settled then." Millie nodded her head sharply and stood up to fetch blankets for their new guest.  
  
It was not long before Ashley was tucked up on the sofa, wrapped in blankets and pillows bundled beneath her head. The morning sunshine touched the curtains, which had been closed to allow sleep to come easier.   
  
Vash - as Millie had predicted - had decided to stay with Meryl lying on Millie's bed, which was on the opposite end of the room. He tried to stay awake yet once again the need for rest won and he drifted into a light sleep, ready in case Meryl awoke. The comfort and warmth of the room was a wonderful sensation and his sleep was comfortable apart from the worry of Meryl's condition.   
  
  
  
Millie entered Knives's room cautiously and sat on a chair to keep watch on him. The quiet house was unnerving and she found herself calling Shadow inside and keeping him with her. The soft purring of the little creature was a great comfort to her and she found herself falling into a light sleep.  
  
Finally everyone in the house was resting, all was quiet and at peace. Everything and everyone was recovering.  
  
Vash woke up in the late afternoon and stretched lazily enjoying the warmth in his aching muscles. He turned his head peering at Meryl from beneath the strands of tousled blonde hair, his aqua eyes filled with layers of hope and despair. He crossed the room and glanced down at her nervously afraid that if he touched her she would crumble. He let out a long breath and sat on the chair beside her, longing for her to waken and know that she was safe and sound. He lifted the edge of the blanket searching for her hand and lifted it into his own, squeezing it and lacing his fingers with hers.   
  
Her hair had lost its usual shine and although her skin had gained colour it was still very pale, her breathing was definitely stronger but still lacked the certain strength. He squeezed her hand encouragingly and spoke to her about nothing in particular.  
  
"If you wake up soon I promise not to annoy you anymore, I won't tease you even though you look so cute when you're angry." A smile crept onto his face at the thought of her and he raised her small hand to his face brushing it against his skin.  
  
"Meryl please don't leave me..." He murmured and continued talking to her about anything that came to mind to see if anything woke her up. After an hour of talking he gave up, tears brimming in his eyes and his hand holding hers tightly. He heard Millie call him and he decided to leave Meryl in peace, all the noise he was making was probably irritating her. He leaned forward in the chair and kissed her forehead having lost his nerve to kiss her mouth and left the room.  
  
Millie greeted him with a smile and a warm hug before they descended down the stairs. It troubled her to see him so unhappy and she forced him to sit down on a chair so she could make him something to eat.  
  
"Meryl's strong Mr. Vash. She will be fine."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"The doctor said that most of her wounds would heal but a few would scar. She also said that she is very weak due to lack of nourishment and fatigue as well as the whole experience. Her body is letting her sleep so it can heal that's all."  
  
"I wish I had your positive thinking."  
  
"You can Mr. Vash, just trust in her."  
  
"I do, but sometimes someone has suffered so much that they just don't want to live anymore, the last thing Meryl saw was an evil man beating her, would you want to wake up if it meant wakening to pain and suffering?"  
  
"Well I wouldn't want to give up so easily." Millie sounded a little more nervous. "Oh I forgot to tell you, earlier this morning Knives woke up."  
  
"He did?!"   
  
"Yes, but he is still very weak so I wouldn't worry about it too much."  
  
"When he wakes up I will have to leave with him, that was the plan."  
  
"You can't leave Meryl!" Millie said sternly taking Vash by surprise.   
  
She laid some food on the table and Vash slowly started to eat, Millie joined him at the table too with some food of her own. They ate in silence and then Vash lifted his gaze to look at her. "I don't want to."  
  
"Then don't." Millie said simply, her blue eyes softening slightly.  
  
"You make it sound so easy." He sighed.  
  
"Is it really so hard?"  
  
"Yes, if I stay here then I will hurt her or Knives might."  
  
"But if you go you will hurt her." Millie pointed out and faltered at the sight of his tears. She walked around the table and pulled him into a fierce hug. "Mr. Vash please don't cry, everything will work out alright, but just stay with Meryl until she heals then you can decide what to do.   
  
Vash nodded and wiped his eyes with his sleeve wishing that he knew the answers; he took the last bite of food and leaned back in the chair peering over at Ashley who was still asleep.  
  
"Poor kid." He murmured.  
  
"She is stronger than she looks." Millie stated and Vash agreed before standing up.  
  
"Where are you going?" Millie sounded surprised.  
  
"To go and check on Knives...and Meryl."  
  
"You can stay with her tonight, I'll stay with Knives."  
  
"You're not afraid of him?"  
  
"No, like I said he is still in a lot of pain so he won't try anything for a while. Plus I think you are right about him. There is some good in his heart." That comment brought a smile to Vash's weary face and with a nod he walked upstairs.   
  
He stayed by Meryl's side for the rest of the afternoon and evening never leaving her side. His fingers were interlocked with hers and the other hand stroked her hair idly. He was leaned forward so his shoulder rested on the pillow and he noticed how warm she was and took that to be a good sign.   
  
Moving further towards her he cupped her face in his hand and sighed at how peaceful she looked. He was enchanted by her beauty and was stunned when she moved slightly under his touch.   
  
"Meryl..." He whispered quietly and his heart leapt with joy as her eyes opened slightly. He drew his hand away from her face in slight embarrassment but she didn't seem to notice.   
  
She lay still waiting for her eyes to refocus from the terrible blur and winced at the pain in her head, back, side and chest. She hurt everywhere and suddenly she realised that the ceiling she was staring at wasn't made of stone and dripping with slime. She turned her head and saw someone beside her and gasped, 'it really is him!'   
  
  
  
She tried to sit up but cried out in pain and was pushed back down by a pair of strong hands.   
  
"Don't try to move, you'll reopen your wounds again." The soothing voice told her and she nodded. The movement made her head spin wildly but she pushed back the feeling to be sick.  
  
"Are you hungry?" Vash asked nervously and she shook her head very slightly. She peered at him again through blurry eyes and threw herself into the deep pools, which were his eyes. They held in them a promise of life and hope and she needed that more than anything now.   
  
"Is there any pain?" He asked again which she thought was a stupid question but she decided he was trying to break the silence. She cleared her throat and tried to sit up again only to be pinned down once more.  
  
"I'm fine." She croaked and he smiled at her knowing full well that she was in a lot of pain. As her eyes finally cleared she became more aware of her surroundings and noticed that her hand was wrapped in his. She blushed and moved nervously, Vash noticed and dropped her hand onto the bed, his own face reddening.  
  
"You should rest." He stated and moved back the chair to stand up. Meryl felt a sudden panic rise in her at being alone and she reached out, grabbing his gloved hand to stop him from going further. He looked at her questioningly and then with concern as he saw the tears beading in her violet orbs.   
  
"Please don't leave me alone." She begged, her voice wavering. He paused and at first she thought he was going to leave but instead he sat on the edge of the bed and slipped his arms loosely around her.   
  
This action surprised them both but eventually Meryl loosened in his arms and rested against him, her tears wetting the front of his shirt. She was surprised to find that he was crying too, his face nuzzled against her neck. His tears dropped coolly onto her shoulder and his breath tickled her sensitive skin so that she shuddered slightly. 'Why is he crying?' she wondered, 'Have I caused him this pain?' She pulled back slightly and saw Vash's hurt expression at her rejection of him.  
  
"I'm sorry." She winced slightly at the pain in her wounds and he helped her lay back down onto the soft mattress.   
  
"For what?"  
  
"For making you worry, I tried to escape but I...I just." Her tears rose again and he brushed them away gently.   
  
"Shh now Meryl, it's not your fault."  
  
"But it is..."  
  
"Sleep now." He stood up and she reached out to grab his hand again, her face filled with terror. "Don't worry, I'm not leaving." He smiled at her, his aqua eyes sparkling. "I'll be just on the other side of the room if you need me okay." He told her and she nodded and snuggled back into the warmth of the blankets.   
  
"Vash..." She whispered and he turned his head to look at her.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thank you." With that she fell asleep.  
  
***Meryl's POV***  
  
I woke up with an incredible headache and a stabbing pain in my back, ribs and chest, at first I expected to wake up to the cell and the clanging of chains. I was surprised when the only sound I was met with was the sound of someone breathing deeply. Rolling onto my side I felt my heart melt when I saw who it was. Then I blushed when I remembered the wonderful embrace we had shared last night. He had been so warm and nice to snuggle up against and his breath tickled in such a nice way that I yearned to have that feeling again. It was even more painful knowing that it would never happen again.  
  
  
  
I tried to move but was met only with pain and decided it was probably best to lie still, at least in this position I could watch him sleep. The warmth of the bed was intoxicating and I felt my eyelids drooping closed again only to be forced open at the sound of movement.  
  
Vash was standing now, stretching pleasantly so that his back curved and the defined muscles in his arms rippled. I tried my best not to stare but it's hard when the man you desire is standing there doing something like that. I wondered whether I had actually fallen asleep as it seemed strange to me that one minute he was fast asleep and the next he was wide awake.   
  
He turned his head and spotted me, a smile instantly tugging at the sides of his face - he was so beautiful.   
  
"Good morning." He yawned and padded over to me, his eyes glowing with an incredible intensity. I nodded and tried sit up only to lose my balance and topple forwards. My breath caught in my throat as I realised I would hit the floor but what I did land on was much warmer.  
  
"You should be more careful, and I told you not to move." His voice was not stern but slightly playful and I nodded feeling foolish and helpless.   
  
"You hungry yet?" He asked with a yawn but I shook my head, the same nausea still gnawed at my stomach. He shook a finger at me and sat on the side of my bed again, I found myself hoping he would hold me like he had the last time he sat there; but he didn't.   
  
"I'll get something for you anyway." At that remark I knew he was leaving me and I must have seemed like a total paranoid freak the way I clung to him. I can't explain it but every time I thought of being alone a terrible fear clenched my lungs and heart. He looked startled and I blushed and turned my face away as I released my grip on his arm.  
  
The sudden feel of his hand guiding my face back towards him stunned me and he moved closer, his gentle eyes filled with understanding. "I promise I won't be long." He whispered and I nodded feeling even more stupid and pathetic than before. He was probably going to go laugh at me now for acting like such a child.   
  
The door closed and the sound echoed and echoed through my skull like a shockwave stabbing into my head. Gasping in fear I sat up, my fear of being alone numbing the pain in my wounds. I dragged my knees up against my chest and the tears trembled down my face in streams.   
  
The shadows in the room grew and elongated before my eyes, great claws of darkness scraping and reaching for me. I opened my mouth to scream but my throat was tight and I pressed myself against the wall wishing for him to return. I found breathing difficult and drew in great gasps of breath trying to remain conscious afraid that if I blacked out the slavers would come back for me.  
  
'What if they had already found out I was missing and were coming for me' I would be beaten again and again, they might even kill me. My heart pounded louder as I heard creaking outside the window and I let out a painful sob that racked through my body so violently that it took me by complete surprise. 'They've come back!' I wanted to run there and then but my feet were ignoring me and I sat in total silence praying that death would come swiftly when suddenly I felt something touch my shoulder.  
  
I let out a strangled cry and snapped out of my trance hitting out with my fist but was too slow to make contact and flopped backwards. The next thing I knew were two arms wrapping around me to keep me from falling over the other side of the bed and pulling me back into an upright position.   
  
  
  
"Hey Meryl I'm so sorry." It was Vash and he was looking very guilty and upset at seeing me so distraught. I tried to hide my horror with a smile, which proved incredibly difficult, and his eyes softened.  
  
"I didn't hear you come in." I told him weakly.  
  
"Meryl it's okay to be afraid you know. After all you've been through its quite understandable." He still has his arms hung limply around my waist, an incredible warmth and comfort emanating from them. I wanted to lie to him and tell him that I was fine and pretend everything was normal, but I couldn't. Those large, beautiful eyes were staring at me, demanding honesty and I cleared my throat.  
  
"Vash, I don't know what's happening to me." I trembled and he lifted his hand from my waist and stroked the side of my face. I leaned into his touch without even realising it and he smiled warmly at me.   
  
"It's okay, you can tell me."  
  
"If they find out I'm gone, they will come back to get me. They will be so angry at me and I don't want you and Millie to get hurt." I forced back fresh tears and squeaked as he pulled me up against him, it would have been perfect if it weren't for the twinge of pain in my wounds.  
  
I'm not sure how long we remained in that tight embrace but it was longer than I could have ever dreamed possible and as I lay and listened to his heartbeat I felt my eyes drooping closed and let the comfort of sleep take me, forgetting that Vash had brought me food.   
  
***Vash's POV***  
  
Pulling the blankets up around her I paused a moment longer and decided that if she wasn't going to eat the food I might as well eat it myself. You can't waste good food so I figured it was the best thing to do. I was also pretty hungry which made the food taste even better - but enough about the food.  
  
I sat down next to Meryl and watched her sleeping soundly and smiled slightly, she was so beautiful when she was asleep - hell she was beautiful all the time - and I felt an ache in the pit of my stomach. She had suffered so much and seeing how terrified she was at being alone terrified me! I wasn't used to seeing capable, sensible and in control Meryl so broken down and afraid.   
  
Tears gathered in my eyes when the door opened and snapped me out of my grief. Millie peeked in and smiled happily at me before stepping inside, Ashley's smaller form stood just outside the room, her eyes large and nervous.   
  
"Ashley wants to check on Meryl." Millie informed and gestured for the girl to follow.  
  
"She's asleep." I informed and Millie nodded and glanced at the empty plate.  
  
"Did she eat that?" Millie seemed sceptical and I shook my head laughing nervously. Ashley seemed to gain more confidence and entered the room fully.  
  
"Well she fell asleep so I thought I would eat it for her." I flushed and rubbed the back of my head nervously. Millie shook her head and taking the plates she left the room.  
  
Ashley stood in the middle of the room; her hair now neatly brushed back and with the dirt gone it glowed with a deep hazel tint. Her brown eyes were large and dark so they looked almost black, she gazed at Meryl with the emotion I knew all too well - guilt - and I smiled encouragingly. It was strange to see the child so strong and Meryl so emotionally and physically weak, it was like a complete role reversal. Yet it seemed that my brave insurance girl had taken all the beatings and pain.  
  
"It's okay." I grinned and she suddenly dashed forwards, tears shimmering in her brown eyes. She looked back up at me with those same guilt filled orbs and suddenly climbed up onto my lap. She snuggled up against me and I smiled at how small she was.  
  
"She will get better wont she?"   
  
"Of course, Meryl is stronger than anyone else I know. She may just take some time to heal that's all."  
  
"What are her injuries?" Ashley enquired.  
  
"Broken ribs and a few cuts and bruises that's all." I lied but if I hadn't known better she saw straight through me.  
  
"Vash..."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Will you promise me something?" Her face looked so sad that it almost broke my heart; a child should never have to look so upset. She looked up at me and I nodded slowly, "Of course." I answered and her saddened face turned to one of pure joy although she tired her best to hide it.   
  
"When Meryl gets better..." She paused and I raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You have to tell her that you love her."  
  
"Wha-what!?" I almost fell from my chair in disbelief at what she had just said, was I really so obvious that even a child could tell how I felt? Sighing I tried to regain my composure and looked at her nervously.  
  
"You heard me! If you don't tell her how you feel then I will tell her myself, you got that Mr?"  
  
"Yes ma'am." I saluted and instantly felt my heart twinge in panic, 'what have I gotten myself into?' At that moment Ashley grinned and slipped off my lap and darted from the room, I sat in stunned silence thinking: 'did she plan that?'  
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Ashley darted into the kitchen where Millie was washing up the plates that she had taken from Meryl's room, a bounce in her step and eyes glinting with success. The tall insurance girl whirled round at hearing the small footsteps and looked questioningly at her. Ashley clambered onto the kitchen counter and grinned.   
  
"Well?"  
  
"Everything is going according to plan captain Millie." She gave a small salute and Millie giggled.  
  
"This is wonderful, those two will be together before they know it."  
  
"Yup, u were right captain, Vash is so easy to manipulate."  
  
"So Private Ashley ready for the next phase of our plan?"  
  
"Definitely."   
  
* * * * * *  
  
Well there is my seventh chapter and I would like to know what you thought of it, I added some fluff but there will be a lot more in the next chapter with the whole matchmaking thing.  
  
So please review cos I want to get over fifty reviews and expect the next chapter a week from now I will do my best to make it as long as I possibly can. 


	8. Confusion

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, and I don't own Vash even though I wish I did.  
  
Without further ado here is the list of reviews and my undying thanx for the reviews they gave me. O.o I was exceptionally surprised when I saw how many I had, I reached 60 and I wasn't even expecting too.  
  
Rainy-days13 - thank you for your kind review, and I'm glad you found the last chapter cute cos that's what I was hoping; I hope you enjoy this next one.  
  
Magnet-Rose - thanx for your review, here is your update  
  
Luna-Kitsune-Blu - ^-^ no one could hate Meryl!! Thanx for review.  
  
Vashra BloodReeper - yay new reviewer *dances crazily* ::ahem:: well thanx for your review and I promise there will be more fluff and more of the match making in this chapter. (Hopefully)  
  
Sets17 - thank you for your review, (=^.^=) meow   
  
Unknown (err yeah) - well thanx for that short review glad to know that you are reading and enjoying lol.  
  
AnImEfReAk - Hmmm I have had a couple of reviews concerning Knives and Millie so I think I'm gonna dedicate this chapter mainly to them this time. Thank you for the review, it's much appreciated.  
  
Pammi - weird is cool lol, well I'm glad you are enjoying reading, I really enjoy writing this which is why I update once a week give or take a few days ^-^' thanks for the review.  
  
ToughCookie - Yeah there will be more of Ashley matchmaking this chapter hopefully.   
  
Silverado6000 - eek O.O thanks sooo much for pointing that out, I will never make that mistake again, I'm pretty ashamed about it actually but I will learn from my mistake and make sure I don't do things like that again. Thanks for the review!! ^.^  
  
Drager - Thanks for your review, here is your update.  
  
Mabel4gs - Knives and Millie, you gotta love that pairing, thanx for your review and I hope you like this chapter.   
  
Neptune Butterfly - I would neva hate you, as long as you are enjoying my fan fic than I'm happy. Thanks for your review.  
  
xim_chan - I'm glad your enjoying my fic, thanks for your review.   
  
So now that's done lets get on with the next chapter.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Chapter 8 - Confusion  
  
Knives woke to the shroud of night and looked up at the ceiling, which seemed terribly low. He tried to regain some of his thoughts, which were at this very moment muddled into a complete mess. Vash had won, he had promised to take care of him and take him somewhere where he could heal. Well obviously this must be the place he had in mind.   
  
  
  
Then he remembered the woman who had been there talking to him for ages about some rubbish that he had no intention of listening to, and wondered who she was. Whoever she had been she wasn't afraid of him, or she had hidden it well. As much as he hated to admit it he found himself intrigued by the human.  
  
He tried to move but was greeted by sharp pains in his shoulders and legs 'oh that's right, my brother shot me.' Grimacing in pain he lay as still as possible when he heard the sound of breathing from somewhere in the room. Letting the curiosity get the better of him he turned his head very slowly and saw the same woman sleeping on the other side of the room.  
  
'How dare she not be afraid of me!' his mind raged but there was also a silent conflict of gratefulness and respect which only confused him further. He watched her intensely for what seemed like a long time, boring her image into his memory.  
  
She lie on her stomach her head to one side so that he could see her face, which was fully relaxed. The light from the slightly parted curtains trickled onto her face, highlighting her features and making them glow with such innocence and beauty. Her long brown hair trailed over her back, some falling over her face and creating pale shadows on her skin.   
  
She sighed softly and the blanket fell slightly from her, trailing on the floor her face creasing slightly as she muttered something in her sleep. Knives felt that maybe he should turn away now but he couldn't bring himself to tear away his gaze when suddenly her blue eyes flew open. He forced his eyes closed and lay perfectly still not wanting to be caught staring at her.  
  
Millie yawned and stretched, rubbing the blur of sleep from her eyes. Glancing over at Knives she couldn't help but smile at him. He wasn't much like Vash at all; his eyes, hair and personality were so different that she never would have guessed they were brothers. She padded lightly over to the window and slid it open to breathe in the cool night air.   
  
The town was silent and dark so she directed her gaze to the sky, watching the stars twinkling perfectly from their dark blanket. Life was starting to improve, Meryl was fine and so was Vash but something in her heart seemed misplaced.  
  
She had first believed that this misplacement of her feelings was Wolfwood but now she wasn't so sure. She turned back to see Knives still lying quietly asleep and felt a cramp in her heart. Shaking her head in confusion she quickly crossed the room to the door and slipped out, descending the stairs to the lounge where Ashley lay snuggled up on the couch.   
  
Walking through to the kitchen she grabbed a small glass and filled it with water and drank it quickly. She wondered what the time was but knew that the suns were not close to appearing just yet. Slumping in a chair she glanced over at the sleeping child and smiled at how peaceful she looked, Ashley reminded her so much of herself. She smiled constantly and was good at reading emotions too.   
  
Easing herself back she closed her eyes and tried to rest but images of that man kept fluttering through her mind. They were becoming quite irritating and finally she crept back upstairs and into the room where he lie sleeping.   
  
She was then very shocked to see him trying to sit up, his face creased in pain. She dashed to his side resting her hands on his shoulders; ignoring his angry protest she pushed him back down. His icy eyes caught hers and for an instant she felt trapped and suffocated by them.   
  
"Knives you really shouldn't try and strain yourself, it'll do more damage than good." She forced a kind smile but he remained silent, his eyes watching her with such intensity it was scary. She shivered and backed up slightly.  
  
"So you are scared of me." Knives gave a malicious grin and the smile disappeared from her face. He laughed and shook his head, finally taking his eyes from her, "Pathetic humans." His snarl was instantly removed as she approached him again, her face filled with irritation.  
  
"You can stop acting like that right now, I am NOT afraid of you." She snapped and then stormed over to her makeshift bed, flopping down onto it and pulling the blanket over her head.   
  
Knives lay stunned by her reaction to him, she was nervous yes but she definitely was not afraid of him. 'Maybe humans aren't so weak and pathetic as I once thought.'   
  
***Meryl's POV***  
  
I opened my eyes to see the pale light of early morning shimmering through the window and felt the ache in my wounds. Sitting up very slowly I rubbed my eyes and blinked the sleep from them before letting my gaze trail around the room. I have to say I was surprised to see Vash sleeping in a bed not far from my own and blushed as I remembered what had occurred between us the day before.   
  
'He probably thinks I'm so pathetic' I sighed helplessly and shuddered as I remembered the nightmare I had seen in my tortured sleep, it had haunted me five times now, always the same. Vash hurt by some strange man and me unable to help, I shuddered and suppressed tears.   
  
I heard someone moving just outside the door and wondered who it could be; surely it was too early for anyone to be awake. Carefully I slid my legs out from the covers and planted them firmly on the ground. Then conjuring up all my strength I pushed myself up, leaning heavily against the wall for support.   
  
My feet felt like lead and my eyes constantly unfocused forcing me to stop, the pain in my wounds grew to such an extent that I thought it might be better just to lie down and die but I couldn't do that. If I did then I would just be causing Vash and Millie more pain and that was the last thing I wanted to do  
  
Slowly I made my way over to the door looking over my shoulder to make sure Vash was still asleep before turning the handle and peering out into the small corridor. I have to say I was surprised to see Millie standing outside the door where Knives slept her expression looking a little distanced.  
  
  
  
"Millie?" I whispered and her head suddenly snapped up her eyes widening in surprise.  
  
"You shouldn't be out of bed." She told me softly.  
  
"I'm fine, actually I feel better walking around." I lied and she nodded.  
  
"Would you like something to eat now?" She asked and her face creased with a frown when I declined the offer.  
  
"I would rather have a shower."  
  
"Oh," her face brightened "Yes that's a good idea and it might help clean your wounds better." She strode forwards lending me her arm to lean on.  
  
"Thank you." I smiled and gratefully accepted her support as I made the painful few steps to the bathroom. She left me alone and I stepped into the shower and let the water refresh my tired muscles.  
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Millie sat opposite Ashley whispering plans to each other of their next step to take concerning Vash and Meryl. Ashley fell silent in thought her eyes falling onto her cup that she had cradled in her hands.  
  
"Maybe we should set them up on a date."  
  
"Won't that be too obvious?" Millie questioned softly.   
  
"Not if we're careful." Ashley smirked and drew closer. "We could always organise something fun and say to meet up somewhere-"  
  
"-And turn up late to give them some time alone!" Millie ended excitedly.  
  
"Exactly, but we still have to work out the details."  
  
"Yes and we would have to wait for Meryl to get better as well." Millie pointed out. The sound of footsteps on the stairs forced them into silence and they both turned to see Vash entering the room looking a little worried.  
  
"What's wrong Mr. Vash?" Millie questioned innocently.  
  
"Meryl's gone!" He exclaimed, trying hard not to panic. Millie cast a small smile back at Ashley who nodded happily.  
  
"She's taking a shower, don't worry so much Mr. Vash."  
  
"I wasn't worried." He blushed slightly and walked over to the kitchen, "Do we have any donuts?" He asked no one in particular and in a few seconds he had discovered a new box and was tucking into them eagerly.   
  
  
  
Mille smiled as she watched him eating and felt that finally things were going back to normal; Ashley suddenly stood up and darted over to Vash who looked down at her curiously.  
  
"You want one?" He asked holding out the box.  
  
"I wondered if you had told Meryl yet?" Ashley chirped up holding back a smile as Vash was sent into a coughing fit.   
  
"Shh." He said looking over at Millie nervously who waved at him cheerfully.   
  
"Sorry." Ashley sighed miserably and went over to sit on the couch where her blanket still lay crumpled on it. She sat down on it pulling the blanket over her and closing her eyes swiftly.   
  
Vash quickly recovered from his embarrassment and sat down where Ashley had been a few moments before. Millie looked at him curiously and noticed that he was looking extremely tired and worried. Gently she reached out a hand and laid it on his shoulder in an effort to comfort him.  
  
"What's wrong Mr. Vash?"   
  
"I don't really know."  
  
"Well if you're worrying about Mr. Knives, don't. He is healing well and he doesn't seem to be acting mean at all."  
  
"Still, I can't take the risk of him returning to his ways and hurting you and Meryl." Vash said firmly.  
  
"You should have more faith in him, every time he has spoken to me he hasn't been nice but he hasn't been threatening either. You should go and see for yourself."  
  
"You mean he woke up again?" Vash seemed even more worried.  
  
"Yes last night, he was trying to sit up but I managed to stop him before he seriously hurt himself again."  
  
"Thank you Millie, I don't know what I would do without you."  
  
"You would do just fine. I better go and check on Meryl, she pretends she is okay but I know she is still hurting." Millie stood up and looked at Vash who was staring sadly at the box of donuts, which was now almost empty.  
  
"Don't worry." She added before going up the stairs.   
  
* * * * * *  
  
The doctor sat back and looked at Meryl kindly, her soft eyes were somewhat encouraging. Carefully she closed her bag and stood up bowing her head slightly.  
  
"I will come and see you again in a couple of days, make sure to get a lot of rest and keep those wounds clean, I'll leave some ointment with your friend, okay?"  
  
"Yes that will be fine, thanks for dropping by doctor." Meryl lay back against the pillows, which had been propped up to allow her to sit comfortably and sighed. She let her eyes fall closed and heard the door shut as the doctor left.   
  
Millie had been so wonderful, always offering to get things for her and after the shower she was feeling extremely refreshed and more comfortable. The only thing that kept her mind from relaxing completely was the thought of Vash; she was feeling a little guilty about not telling him her true feelings. She had let perfect chances slip away and now she was miserable and had no idea what Vash thought of her.  
  
She hadn't meant to let him see her cry, now he would pity her and she hadn't wanted that. She didn't want his sympathy she wanted his love and now that seemed to be seeping further from her.  
  
"You're a stupid coward." She spoke softly to herself and pulled her knees up against her. She shivered as she realised she was alone again and tried not to think about it, she tried to ignore the shadows which seemed to grow and reach out to her.   
  
'I won't call out; I can't let this beat me. How can I fear being alone?' My mind was racing with terror when a light tap on the door brought me from my panic attack. I wanted to throw my arms around whoever had come when I needed them most. I called for them to come in and felt my heart cramp as I saw Vash slip round the door, a tray balanced on one hand and a glass of water in the other.   
  
Every time I laid eyes on him I felt terribly guilty at not telling him my true feelings and wanting him to embrace me again. He was oblivious to how I felt and that alone was enough to make me cry.   
  
"Hello, did the doctor say anything interesting?" He asked casually as he set the tray down on the small bedside table and handed me the glass of water.  
  
"Thank you," I paused, "She just said to rest, nothing interesting oh and something about leaving some medication here."   
  
"Oh that must have been the stuff she gave to Millie." Vash continued trying his best to keep a smile on his face.  
  
"Vash what's wrong?"  
  
"What do ya mean?"  
  
"I have known you long enough now to tell when something is bothering you, and that smile gives it away all too easily." I watched as his smile faded and he leaned forward, lifting the tray and placing it on my lap.  
  
"You have to eat."  
  
"Don't change the subject, tell me what's wrong."  
  
"Eat and I'll tell you." Sighing in defeat I picked up the toast and chewed on it slowly, feeling a little uncomfortable with him watching me.   
  
"Do you have to stare like that?" I scowled and was surprised by the huge smile, which spread across his face. "W-what's wrong?"  
  
"You're back." He laughed as I blushed slightly, he was right; I was beginning to feel like my old self again.   
  
I finished eating, clearing the plate and snuggled back against the pillow feeling suddenly very tired when I remembered Vash was supposed to have told me why he was concerned. I forced my eyes open and tried to sit up, wincing slightly in pain. I was shocked when I saw Vash retreating quickly from the room and I reached out not wanting to be alone but too afraid to ask him to stay.   
  
I turned away and bit my lip in desperate attempt to silence myself and already the fear of being alone was taking over. Trembling I bit harder on my lip, blood trickled down my chin as I heard the door close shut and I buried my face in my hands. I was being weak but I couldn't help it and at that moment I considered going downstairs to see how Millie was doing.   
  
"Meryl?" A voice whispered and I realised then that he hadn't left the room at all and he had just seen me crying again.   
  
"Please just leave." What was I saying?! That was the last thing I wanted!  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"No. I don't know..." I had never been so confused in my entire life.  
  
"Maybe I could help you downstairs."  
  
"I'm not disabled!" I yelled at him, maybe a little too harshly judging by his reaction. "Sorry." I added afterwards and he approached me cautiously.  
  
"I'm just trying to help you Meryl."  
  
"I know that, I said I was sorry." I tried to stand and he held out his hands in case I needed help. Luckily I managed it just fine but then I wondered whether I had any clothes around that were suitable.   
  
I knew I had another spare uniform in my suitcase but nothing suitable for me to feel comfortable in. Sighing miserably I turned back to Vash who was waiting patiently for me to make up my mind of what I was going to do.  
  
"I don't have anything to wear." I explained to him and his eyes unfocused as he began to think of a solution.   
  
"Come on." He interrupted and caught my hand, dragging me over to his side of the room, he opened his bag and began to sort through some clothes, throwing various items about the room.   
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Here." He said standing up and handing me over some clothes.  
  
"This will be way too big." I told him sceptically.  
  
"Just roll up the sleeves or something." He shrugged and looked around the room nervously.  
  
"Should I leave to let you get changed?" I laughed and shrugged.  
  
"Stand outside the door, but don't go too far." He must have noticed the fear in my eyes and nodded before leaving the room, pulling the door closed. Sighing I gently eased out of the nightshirt and regarded my bandages nervously; just seeing them brought back the harsh memories. Quickly I drew the shirt over my head, breathing in the sweet scent of fresh material as I snuggled into the warm clothing. The shirt was way too big so I took quite a while rolling up the sleeves to my wrists before stepping into the pants which were also too long.   
  
Laughing at how ridiculous I was going to look I sat on the bed to roll them up so that they didn't drag on the floor when there was a slight tap on the door.  
  
"It's okay you can come back in now." I confirmed and Vash reappeared his eyes bright with amusement.  
  
"I told you didn't I?" I stood up and he nodded silently. I walked awkwardly over to where he stood, stumbling very slightly.  
  
"They don't look too bad, in fact they make you look pretty cute." I was stunned by that remark and dipped my head to hide my embarrassment.   
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Vash paused at the stairs and let Meryl go down first so that he could keep an eye on her. She reached out grasping the banister that followed the stairs down and drew in a nervous breath. Then she took one slow step, tightening her grasp so that her knuckles turned white.  
  
Vash laid a hand on her shoulder to offer strength and it worked for the next few steps until she stopped altogether, her legs trembling weakly beneath her and the pain in her wounds burning. Carefully Vash lifted her up and very gently walked the last few steps to the lounge where he sat her down on the sofa and stretched lazily.  
  
Millie was busy cooking something on the stove when she spotted them and at first she was concerned for Meryl's health.  
  
"I'm fine Millie."  
  
"Are you sure, the doctor gave me strict orders to make sure you rest."  
  
"I am resting just in a different room." Meryl sighed and leaned back against the chair letting her eyes fall closed.  
  
Vash reached out and grabbed Millie pulling her back into the kitchen and looking back at the raven-haired insurance girl.  
  
"What's wrong Vash?"  
  
"She's afraid of being alone."  
  
"What?"  
  
"She has a phobia of being left alone." Vash repeated calmly and Millie nodded in understanding.  
  
"Poor Meryl." Millie sighed and glanced over at her friend who looked just about ready to fall asleep again.   
  
"I'll stay with her." Vash informed and left Millie to go and sit beside the tired insurance girl.  
  
  
  
Millie watched happily as he gently lifted her hand and held it lovingly and strained her ears to listen to the light whispers that floated from their lips. She wished she knew what they were saying when suddenly she remembered Ashley. As bad as it may sound she had left the child to look after Knives whilst she fixed herself a snack and scooping the soup into a bowl she made her way back up the stairs.   
  
Pausing by the door she drew in a breath and stepped inside letting the door swing wide as she entered. Her hands still clasping the bowl she dismissed Ashley who was sitting by the bed and went over to take her place.  
  
"Sorry for making you do that." Millie apologised  
  
"I want to help." Ashley grinned.  
  
"Vash and Meryl are downstairs, don't disturb them too much." Millie whispered and the girl nodded and disappeared.  
  
Sitting in the suffocating silence of the room Millie prayed that maybe she was wrong, but every time she set eyes on the strange man lying asleep, her heart would send strange messages to her. As if he had known his eyes darted open, the frosty blue chilling the air between them.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Millie asked cautiously, reaching out and resting a hand on his forehead. He scowled and said nothing, but his eyes looked at her curiously.   
  
"How is it that every time I wake you're here?"  
  
"I sleep here now, and I like to keep an eye on you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I want to give Mr. Vash a rest. He has earned a little relaxation and happiness."  
  
"He has hardly spoken to me since I woke up, he is spending all his time with that woman." Knives hissed, jealousy flashing in his eyes.  
  
"How did you know that?"  
  
"I have my ways." He sneered and rolled over onto his side. Millie ate her soup in silence watching him and wishing that he would turn round again.  
  
"Mr. Knives don't worry I'll take care of you, and when you heal your brother said he will take you somewhere else."  
  
"Yes, so he can try and teach me to love you pathetic humans."  
  
"No, he just wants to protect you."  
  
"I don't need protecting."  
  
"Of course not." Millie smiled and watched as he turned back to face her.  
  
  
  
She stood up and put the empty bowl of soup on the small table before turning back to him.  
  
"Will you go back to your old ways Mr. Knives?" Millie asked so softly she wasn't sure that he would hear, but he did.  
  
"That depends."  
  
"On what?"  
  
"How I'm feeling." He smirked and looked at her disappointed face.   
  
"Please, don't make Mr. Vash have to leave here." She was begging with him now and at one time he would have enjoyed this, but now it simply disturbed him.   
  
"I need rest." He said simply and rolled over again leaving Millie to stand in the room engulfed by the silence.   
  
***Vash's POV***  
  
  
  
I watched Millie walk back up the stairs to my brother's room and felt instantly guilty about making her watch over him all the time. It was then that I questioned why I would rather help Meryl heal than my brother. It was now obvious to me that I had strong feelings for the woman sitting just beside me but surely my brother would come first.  
  
Yet she needed me, well that wasn't quite right, to be correct she just needed someone. That person could have easily been Millie or even Ashley yet I desired to be with her and help her heal. Especially when I had seen her crying and so scared to be left alone, something in me just clicked to protection mode. I never wanted to see her so vulnerable and alone again. I wanted to be with her more than anything and yet the painful reality was that I would have to leave her as soon as my brother was well enough to walk.   
  
She was sitting quietly, her eyes shut and her head tilted back revealing her neck, a small vein pulsed beneath her soft skin. I wanted so much to reach out to her and touch her softly, maybe brush the hair that was draped over her forehead. She sighed slightly and opened her violet eyes once more; she angled her head towards me and smiled very slightly.  
  
"Sorry." She whispered and I nodded simply. "That walk has made me really tired." She admitted and I smiled and nodded again.  
  
"Millie went up to see my brother."  
  
"I feel so bad about that." Meryl said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well she shouldn't have to, and I'm keeping you from being with your brother, I feel terrible about that."  
  
"I don't mind, and I don't think my brother minds me not being around much. Plus I think he likes Millie to fuss over him."   
  
"If you say so."  
  
At that moment Ashley came down the stairs, her braided hair swinging behind her and her eyes shining. She paused at the bottom of the stairs and spotted us sitting on the couch, waving joyfully. She was so like Millie it was scary.  
  
"Hello Vash...Meryl." She yelled and ran over to us bouncing up onto my lap and looking up at me with those huge, curious eyes.   
  
"Hello." I said and she grinned and diverted her eyes to Meryl who looked just about ready to fall asleep again.  
  
"So Meryl, has Vash managed to talk to you yet?"  
  
"About what?" Meryl asked, her innocence was terribly cute when suddenly it struck me what Ashley was talking about. I felt my face start to burn with embarrassment.  
  
"Well I told him earlier that he had to tell you how he felt." Ashley's eyes glinted mischievously and I wrapped my hand around her mouth to quieten her.   
  
"Felt about what?" By this time Meryl looked totally confused.  
  
"Just ignore her." I laughed loudly to try and hide my embarrassment when suddenly there was a knock on the door, which gained Ashley's attention. Sighing with relief I watched her go over to answer it.  
  
A man stood at the door with a small bundle of leaflets, him and Ashley started talking and both me and Meryl tried to catch a word of it but failed. The child squealed in delight and jumped with glee before taking one of the leaflets, closing the door and leaping up the stairs.  
  
"What was that about?" Meryl asked, not really expecting an answer.  
  
"I don't know." I admitted and she turned to look at me the look in her beautiful eyes making my breath catch in my throat.  
  
"Umm...could you help me back up the stairs, I don't know if I have the energy to make it myself." She blushed and I could tell that she hated asking for help.   
  
"Sure thing, I'm here to help after all." I lifted her gently in my arms, cradling her against my chest and felt her snuggle up against me. My heart lurched with love as she settled against me, one of her hands clutching my shirt as if she was afraid I would drop her.   
  
  
  
She mumbled something which might have been a "Goodnight" and her eyes fell closed even before I managed to lay her on the bed and cover her over with a blanket. I heard excited chatter in Knive's room but paid no heed to it before lying down on my own bed and turning on my side so I could watch her sleep. Her face was the last thing I saw before I fell into a deep sleep.  
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Knives listened intently to the plans being made by the two females sitting in his room. Their giggling and constant chatter was becoming very annoying especially when it was revolved around his brother and that other woman.  
  
"So it looks like we found the perfect date for them." Millie said looking at the leaflet with great interest and Ashley nodded creeping closer to read it again.  
  
"It says that it is in a weeks time, will Meryl be okay by then?"  
  
"Hopefully." Millie sighed and laid the piece of paper down.  
  
"Do you think Vash can dance?" Ashley asked, her face sceptical.  
  
"I should think so, if he can dodge bullets I'm sure he will find it easy, and I know for certain that Meryl is a great dancer."  
  
"Sounds perfect." Ashley agreed.  
  
The two girls made sure to hide the piece of paper well before returning to sit on Millie's makeshift bed to continue planning. They paused in chatter as they heard Vash come up the stairs, most likely with Meryl and then continued again.  
  
"We should tell them to go on ahead or something so then they get to walk there together." Ashley continued.  
  
"Yes, we could give an excuse of some sort."  
  
"Then if they refuse to dance with each other for some reason you could always hint to Vash to ask Meryl or something." Ashley said, her eyes half closed with fatigue.  
  
"Sounds good to me, that should be easy."  
  
"Well then, I don't think this is going to be too hard." The young girl stretched and yawned before slipping from the bed and heading over to the door. "Goodnight Millie." She whispered casting a glance at Knives before leaving the room.  
  
Millie glanced over at him too and sighed sadly, matchmaking sure was easy but dealing with Knives sure wasn't. He turned his head to look at her, his eyes bright and vivid in the shadows.  
  
"You disgust me." I sneered.  
  
"I'm sorry." She apologised and lay down, pulling the blankets over her.  
  
"Hmph."   
  
"Mr. Knives please if not for me for your brother, try to be nice."  
  
"What ever."  
  
"I mean it, you would be such a nice person if you smiled a little more." She was rewarded with a death glare and closing her eyes she whispered goodnight to him. She didn't expect a reply ad was surprised when she got one.  
  
"Good night Millie." And he had used her name; her heart leapt and then settled again allowing her to fall asleep, a small smile playing on her lips.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Well I have to admit that this is the worst chapter I have written, and if you did manage to read it all without falling asleep I would appreciate a review on how I could make the next chapter interesting,   
  
I planned for the next chapter to be "the date" chapter so if you have any ideas for making that interesting please share them.  
  
'Love and Peace' 


	9. Tension

Disclaimer: No I don't own Trigun  
  
Note: Hello again for the 9th chapter and to tell you the truth I didn't expect it to be this long and as I am writing this I am on my 56th page O.O well I firstly have to apologise for making you wait so long but I had so much homework, plus I had a bit of writers block for a while there ^-^' any way enough of me talking to myself and giving excuses here's the thanks to all my lovely reviewers:  
  
Pammi - thank you so much for your review you helped me to not feel so bad cos I honestly didn't like the last chapter. So thanks again and I'm glad you like the storyline.   
  
Blu - Your review is probably the one I have thought about the most, I understand that some people don't like that pairing and I was one of them at first so I think I'll slow down with Knives/Millie for now until I can decide on what to do.  
  
Tough Cookie - I'll have to check on that mistake you pointed out which I will probably do after I submit this. Thank you for the review.  
  
Rainy-days13 - aww thanks for your kind review and I will try my best to do a drunk Vashie although it will be a first so I can't promise it will be any good.  
  
Magnet-Rose - Thanks so much for your review and don't worry bout not giving suggestions I'm just glad someone reads the bottom notes, cos I usually think I'm talking to myself ^.^   
  
Silverado600 - Thanks for your review, I really enjoy reading the advice you have to give, and I'm all too glad to be shown what I've done wrong. For one thing you learn more from your mistakes so it will help me in the long run. Thank you again for the review.  
  
Vashies-Girl - Thankies for your review and here is your update I hope you enjoy.  
  
Neptune Butterfly - Your review made me laugh (the thing about Knives) and I'm glad you liked the last chapter. Here is your update.  
  
Sake21 - thanks for your review and I will keep the Knives/Millie pairing in mind even if it isn't so explicit in this chapter (I think).   
  
Keiko's angel - Thank you for your review, it was much appreciated and I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
  
Well there were a lot of reviewers to thank and now on with the story, let's hope it will be good. ^.^'  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Chapter 9 - Tension  
  
Meryl stood up and yawned before stretching lightly, afraid of opening her wounds again and rubbed the blur of sleep away from her eyes. The healing scar tissue had become extremely itchy and irritating over the last couple of days and so she had removed the bandages and left the wounds to heal in the fresh air - well not exactly fresh.  
  
She crossed the room to where the small mirror stood in the corner and regarded her petite form reflected on its smooth surface. She noticed how different she looked and realised now why Millie and Vash always looked at her in concern. Her face was pale and withdrawn, her eyes bloodshot and filled with fatigue. No longer was her short, dark hair glossy with health, but dull and lifeless.   
  
Then her eyes fell to the scar that peeked out from her nightshirt and she shuddered with fear, the memory of what had happened to her would live on as a visible reminder. She raised her hands and pulled her nightshirt further closed so that the scar was hidden beneath the light material, but instantly the scar tingled as if mocking her.   
  
Now she realised how Vash felt about people seeing his scars and he had so many more than what she did. At this thought she felt almost guilty about her emotions towards the unruly marks on her body. She remembered all too well the day that Millie and she had accidentally walked in on Vash, and his reaction to them seeing his scars. She now understood his embarrassment and his feelings of wanting to hide them away.  
  
She heard the slight tap on the door to remind her that Millie was still waiting outside for her and bit her lip to force back the tears. It had been days since she had been safe in the house with her friends, but the fear of being left alone had still remained.   
  
She turned from the mirror and crossed the room to dress into her clothes not wanting Millie to wait much longer and smiled as she felt the soft material of the jeans and shirt that Millie had bought for her rub warmly against her skin. Meryl had to admit that she missed wearing Vash's oversized clothes, as weird as it might sound it was nice to be surrounded in the warm, comforting scent of the man she loved more than anything else in the world.   
  
"You can come in now Millie." Meryl called and the tall girl entered with a bowl of soup in her hands. The shorter girl knew that Millie was trying to help her get back to full health and took the soup from her gratefully.  
  
"Did you make this?"  
  
"No Ashley did, that girl is extremely good at cooking." Millie grinned and sat down on the edge of the bed to watch her friend eat breakfast.  
  
"Well I have to agree with that." Meryl smiled a genuine smile and began to eat, her appetite beginning to return after all this time.   
  
"So are you feeling any better today?" Millie asked almost nervously.  
  
"Actually I am, I'm not so wobbly on my feet and I didn't realise how hungry I was." Meryl smiled wider and her happiness increased at seeing what her comment did to affect her friend's mood.  
  
Millie jumped up and grabbed the soup bowl, which was now empty before leading Meryl down the stairs and into the lounge. The sunshine seemed less intense that morning and more gentle in its caress, its golden fingers stretching across the floor and catching the dust at play in the air.   
  
  
  
Ashley stood on a chair by the stove with a pan in her small hands and the smell of pancakes filtering around the room like a fragrant perfume. Breathing in the delicious smell Meryl padded slowly over to the couch and sat down, her legs feeling slightly weakened by the walk.  
  
"Do you want some pancakes?" Ashley chirped up as she held the newly cooked food out to her. Her large eyes pleading with her to say yes.  
  
"If she doesn't want them can I have them?" Vash's voice trailed down from the stairs as he entered the living room. He looked extremely tired for some strange reason and Meryl quickly took the plate from Ashley and started to eat them before Vash could even make a move to get them.  
  
"Aww I'm hungry." Vash pouted giving Meryl his biggest - and cutest - puppy eyes. She didn't respond to him although she felt her heart leap at seeing him so cute even though she knew that was the point of putting on those eyes in the first place. She mentally kicked herself for falling for his charm and turned away from him.  
  
"Don't worry Vash, Millie and I can make some more." Ashley chirped happily and the tall blonde instantly perked up at hearing the offer of food.   
  
"So how was Mr. Knives?" Millie asked, her voice nervous.  
  
"He seemed okay to me." Vash collapsed on the couch beside Meryl and stretched up, placing his hands behind his head.  
  
"Is he hungry?" Millie continued but Vash merely shrugged. "Well I think I'll take him some food." Millie offered and helped Ashley flip pancakes.  
  
Meryl was completely taken aback by Vash's closeness, sure she had been in his arms a few days ago but that was different. He had pitied her before and wanted to comfort her to keep her quiet but now he was sitting next to her by his own choice. Her heart was pounding wildly and she tried to concentrate on the last piece of pancake left on the plate, tried to lose his wonderful scent in the syrup but failed miserably.  
  
He must have noticed her awkwardness as he leaned even closer and her breath caught in her throat, which made her choke, and she sidled away from him very slightly. Lifting the last piece of pancake she swallowed it and turned her head slowly back to him and caught sight of the brilliant aqua eyes that were so close to her own. She almost gave a squeak of surprise if she wasn't hit by another coughing fit.  
  
"Hey are you okay?" Vash's face was filled with concern and she felt instantly guilty, she had made her friends worry enough about her already and she nodded.  
  
"F-fine." She croaked and tried to clear the ache in her throat.  
  
"You want a drink or something?"  
  
"No." She snapped and noticed the pained expression that flickered through his eyes and hastily added, "Please stop fussing I can take care of myself..." Then she realised what she had said... 'Ha you can't even be left in a room by yourself, you're like a child'  
  
Mille saw the tension that had settled upon her two friends who were sitting on the couch and grabbing some food she signalled to Ashley who nodded instantly, and finished piling the pancakes onto a plate.  
  
The young girl walked over and set the pancakes in Vash's lap before crawling up into Meryl's, being careful not to lean too hard against her wounds. Meryl smiled down at the girl who was snuggled in her lap and let out her held breath. Vash was already tucking into the food that had been given to him and Ashley watched with amusement.   
  
"Meryl..." She started her voice quiet and somewhat endearing.  
  
"Yes, what is it?" Meryl turned her full attention to the child, her senses telling her that it was important.   
  
"Well...you know I have no parents, and no home..." Ashley dipped her face to hide a mischievous grin.  
  
"Yes but I told you before that you can stay here as long as you like."  
  
"Well, how can I put this...?" Ashley forced on a serious face and lifted her head so their eyes locked. "I want you to be my new mom."   
  
For the second time today Meryl felt completely awkward and unable to tear her eyes away from the child sitting before her. Surely the girl would rather have Millie has a mother figure; the two seemed to get on so well. 'Is this some sort of game?' Meryl wondered.  
  
"Ashley I-"  
  
"No, please listen to me. You saved my life and I want to stay with you. You are the only person who has ever truly cared enough about me to risk their lives for me. It would mean so much to me."  
  
"But I..."  
  
"Oh and Vash." Ashley turned her attention to the man sitting next to them, his mouth filled with his last pancake. He blinked in surprise at suddenly being brought into the conversation.   
  
"I want you to be my new dad." She told him, her serious face slowly fading beneath a smile. The plan was working perfectly, if they both agreed this would bring them closer together and if they didn't, the idea of them bringing up a child together would be imprinted in their minds.   
  
Vash meanwhile was choking on the last of his food just as Meryl had done only a few minutes before. The raven-haired woman was leaning over towards him and patting his back to try and clear his airway. Ashley slipped away and out of the room to go and check on Millie to leave her two "parents" to think things through. Her smile now was brighter and wider than ever before. 'Matchmaking sure is fun' she though to herself and skipped up the stairs glancing back only once at the two on the couch.   
  
***Knives's POV***  
  
There was a light tap on the door, which brought me round from my thoughts of my idiotic brother. He thought he could talk me round and force me to be nice to the humans that took care of me. 'What an idiot.' I almost regretted making him that promise to try and change my ways and to not hurt him again...almost...  
  
The tapping on the door had ended as it slowly opened and sitting up I glanced over half expecting it to be Vash - but then remembered he hardly ever knocked before entering a room - and saw only that human...Millie.   
  
"I brought you something to eat." She explained and crossed the room in a few strides and dropped the food on my lap. She stood for a few moments watching me with those blue eyes of hers before sitting at the chair by my bed. She seemed slightly more distracted than usual and me being the silent observer I knew her quite well already.  
  
She was sitting in the chair purposely avoiding eye contact and instead looking at her hands that were in her lap. I grinned slightly sensing how uncomfortable she was and leaned closer to her.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" I asked, laughing very slightly, if I wanted to know I could just read her thoughts, but something had been stopping me from doing that.   
  
She jumped at the sound of my voice and lifted her face to look at me then frowned. "You haven't touched your food yet, it'll get cold." She pointed at the bowl of pancakes that I had smelt cooking down in the kitchen and sighing I started to eat. 'Why am I doing what she tells me too' I thought but could not find the answer.  
  
Then after finishing the food I leaned back against the pillow and stared at her, a smile lingering on my lips. She was back in the same awkward position with her head bowed and hands tucked in her lap. 'I should hate her.'  
  
"Knives have you thought about what I said?" She kept her eyes averted.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"About trying to be nice, and smile more." This time she did make eye contact and it took all my effort to remove the small smile I had on my face.  
  
"I'll think about it." I yawned and she sighed almost sadly when suddenly there was a sound of someone coming up the stairs and the tall girl instantly brightened.  
  
The human child burst through the door seconds later a huge smile spread on her face and the two started talking excitedly and so fast I couldn't understand. Then they seemed to slow down and Millie drew in a long needed breath.  
  
"So what did Meryl say?" Millie asked and I tried to think who this Meryl was (A/N: I had a quick scan through and I don't actually think Meryl and Knives have spoken to each other yet ^.^' so I'll make sure they do this chapter) Then I remembered that Vash had mentioned her a couple of times. He had said something about her being sick and that was the reason he hadn't had much time to spend with helping me get better.  
  
Now I understood, this human creature meant more to Vash than me! His own flesh and blood. Controlling my anger as best as I possibly could I forced myself to listen to what these two humans had to say.  
  
"Nothing much, she was shocked I can tell you." Ashley chirped.  
  
"So she didn't give an answer?"  
  
"Nah...so captain what's next?" Ashley asked as she jumped over to sit on Millie's bed and I scowled at her cheerfulness. 'Are all women this annoying?'   
  
"Well let's see now I guess we will just have to talk Meryl into going to the festival." Millie tilted her head and sighed, "which might prove difficult."  
  
"Nah, we just gotta make sure we don't give her a choice in the matter." Ashley told the taller woman who agreed.  
  
"Well then we have the rest of the day to plan so lets get started." Millie said enthusiastically and I rolled over and lifted the blanket over my head to drown out their annoying voices.  
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Vash - having finally been able to breathe again - turned serious eyes to the woman sitting beside him, her face was turned away from him and he could tell she was uncomfortable with the situation. The tension was so heavy and thick that it could have been cut with a knife if he had had one in that moment.   
  
'That girl is really up to something' he thought letting his eyes travel to the stairs where that little troublemaker had gone. Sighing he reached out and lay a hand on the short girl's shoulder and felt her tense.  
  
"You okay?" He asked softly and Meryl whirled round, her eyes flaring with anger but he could see the confusion and fear beneath the layer of anger that was usually so well hidden.   
  
"I'm fine, I've told you that before, why does no one listen to me?" She pushed herself up from the couch as if to leave and then glanced towards the empty stairs and knew she couldn't go up alone.  
  
Vash still sat on the couch looking up at her silently and that was even more unnerving, where was his smile? Where were the annoying comments? 'Is it my fault that he always looks so sad?' She wondered and shook the thought from her head; she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she found out that she was the cause of his pain.  
  
Carefully she sat back down and brought her knees up against her and rested her head upon them. She felt so useless and pathetic and suddenly Vash was there again, too close for comfort.  
  
"You know, you should get out and breathe some fresh air for a change." She could see her reflection in the smooth facets of his eyes and she turned her head away in shame.   
  
"I can't." She breathed quietly and shuddered very slightly.   
  
"I know, but if you had someone there with you maybe you could." He spoke so quietly that she could hardly hear and simply nodded, too afraid to break the peace that had fallen over them.   
  
"Well then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" He grinned and leapt up from the chair taking Meryl by complete surprise. He lifted her to her feet as if impatient to get going.  
  
"What, right now?" She blinked and he nodded happily. "But I..."  
  
"No excuses, come on." He grabbed her wrist and led her towards the door dragging her behind him.   
  
He paused at the door and pulled her up beside him, he felt her tremble in slight fear and saw that her eyes were closed tight. She was terrified, that was obvious but he wanted to help her so badly that he wouldn't be put off. Gently he released her wrist and slipped an arm around her waist and pressed her up against his side. She hardly even noticed when he reached out and opened the door; all she was aware of was their closeness and the warmth from his body that had surrounded her.   
  
"Are you ready?" His voice asked and Meryl could simply nod and cling to him tighter, afraid that if she stepped out the slavers would be there waiting for her. She almost laughed aloud at that thought, 'the slavers are gone stop being an idiot' and yet the fear remained in her mind, refusing to shift.   
  
"Well let's go."  
  
"Shouldn't we tell Millie?" Meryl asked, finally gaining her voice.  
  
"Quit stalling." He grinned and squeezed her comfortingly before stepping out of the door and keeping her with him the whole way. Half the time she walked with her face buried in the folds of his jacket, trusting him to walk her through the town safely. It seemed a lot busier than usual and as they walked in silence she carefully turned her head to see out of the corner of her eyes.   
  
Banners were being pinned up against buildings and she noticed the happy faces of the people. She looked up questioningly at Vash who was busy waving at someone in the street before he turned to look down at her.   
  
"What's happening?" Meryl asked quietly and Vash shrugged.  
  
"Not too sure but its some kind of festival." He grinned, his eyes starry "At least that will mean cheap food and beer."  
  
"You'll never change." Meryl sighed and felt her legs starting to lose their strength, but she was too afraid to tell Vash to slow down and stop. She didn't want to seem even more weak and pathetic than she already was.   
  
Then as if he had read her mind he stopped and led her over to a bench where he sat down beside her, she noticed that his arm still lingered around her waist and blushed violently. It was one thing being this close inside the house but being this close outside in public was another.   
  
***Vash's POV***  
  
She was terrified I could tell and she still wouldn't relax even when she knew I would never let anyone hurt her. The blush that had crept up onto her face made her look incredibly cute and her eyes that darted from side to side made her look so vulnerable.   
  
"I would never let anyone hurt you Meryl."  
  
"You can't be there all the time." She reminded me, and the realisation of this hit me with such intensity that I couldn't even think up a reply. Then she leaned against my shoulder, the blush disappearing from her face and she spoke, "You are leaving again aren't you?" Her shoulders shook and she didn't even attempt to look at me, I could tell she already knew my answer.  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
"Remember, you told me that day you came back. I haven't forgotten."   
  
I'm not sure what surprised me more, the fact that she remembered our conversation or the fact that she sounded sorry to hear that I was leaving. So being me I decided to act like an idiot, I knew how to deal with an angry Meryl better than an upset one.  
  
"Well you know it's about time I left, I don't like staying in one place much and to be honest it gets a bit boring around here."  
  
"It's because of me isn't it?" She whispered and drew away from me very slightly; her violet eyes were not angry but desperately unhappy.   
  
"Because of you?" I repeated; my mind so muddled from the conversation that was taking place.   
  
"Its because I worry you and Millie...and don't try to deny it I've seen the way you look at me. You walk around as if it was your entire fault when it wasn't. I got myself into that mess, I was the one who walked straight into trouble and couldn't get myself out of it." She was almost crying now and I wasn't sure what to say to her that could make it better.  
  
"It wasn't your fault Meryl, you just wanted to save someone, and you saved Ashley. We just feel bad that we couldn't get to you in time to stop them from hurting you."  
  
"Well don't...please don't. I don't think I could bear it if I was the cause of your pain and Millie's, you have had too much of that already."  
  
I closed my eyes and fell silent listening to the chirp of the birds that fluttered around the streets and sighed. Meryl felt so incredibly warm and comfortable against me that I felt that I could fall asleep any moment until my stomach started to protest. Meryl found that amusing and she actually laughed - the first for a long time - and I laughed with her.  
  
"Do you want to go back?" She asked me, her eyes starting to return to their normal relaxed shade and I nodded. She almost went into a panic as I released her so I could stand up and clung to my arm as if afraid that she might lose me.   
  
"I'm not going anywhere yet." I joked and smiled at her blushing face.   
  
"Sorry."   
  
"It's okay."   
  
The walk back to the house was slightly better, she relaxed her grip on my arm and her eyes were no longer shut in fear, she actually seemed quite happy to be outside.  
  
At reaching the house Ashley was there waiting for us and I couldn't help but feel a little nervous. She waved and ran over in our direction, her eyes lingering on our linked arms. I could tell that Meryl wanted to let go of me but she was hesitant to part, her fear still tapping at her mind.   
  
"Millie wondered where you two were so I said I would come and find you." She informed and Meryl nodded and looked over at the house. The child led us back, making sure that we were following and allowed us inside first. Then Meryl separated from me, leaving my arm feeling somewhat lighter and cooler with her absence.   
  
I made my way to the kitchen shortly after to raid the cupboards to find only two boxes of donuts left. Whimpering at how I would have to make two boxes last the rest of the day I sat in a chair and ate silently.  
  
***Normal POV***  
  
The horrible darkness was the same: thick and intense so that the lungs were starved of oxygen and the skin blistered in the heat. Even though she had been here several times before she never learned her lesson and she always opened her eyes to the blinding light. Shutting her eyes tightly she wondered why she kept having the same dream and whether maybe this was some sort of message. Suddenly the ground began to shake violently as it always did, sending the dust billowing up around her and as she opened her eyes again she saw the great mushroom of light that had burned the hole into the fifth moon. Once again she wanted to scream and even though she knew her voice would be drowned out as always she did so and the shockwave hit her as it always did. She hit the ground with a familiar thump and looked up into the murky sky, which seemed to taunt her.   
  
Standing up she looked around the deserted plains and lifted the hair that had fallen across her eyes. Yes it was always the same, everything was destroyed and she could not stop the tears that streamed down her face, or the thought that Vash had been the cause of this even if he hadn't wanted to.  
  
"Vash." His name came as a rasping whisper which didn't even sound like her own voice and with it came the longing that the next part of the nightmare would change.  
  
Suddenly the sky went black and for a moment she thought her eyes were shut until she realised the ground could still be seen, and there blazing on the horizon was a figure of a man, his face covered by the shadow and eyes like beacons in the night. No, everything was the same, would her nightmare never end? Would it always be so horrific?   
  
"Stop!" She screamed as the ground beneath her feet whirled by, forcing her to come closer to the man waiting for her, the man that she still didn't recognise.  
  
With a hideous laugh he reached out clutching her by the shoulders and shook her violently, her head snapped back and her tears scattered onto the ground. She wanted to close her eyes and not see the next part but her eyelids weren't listening to her, she was being forced to see.   
  
Her eyes turned to see Vash lying unconscious - possibly dead - on the ground. His right arm was revealed through the ripped shirt and the puddle of blood that was forming beneath him was still the same.   
  
It was in this moment that she realised that maybe her nightmare wasn't the same after all; Vash was no longer lying injured alone, there was someone with him, also lying hurt. The man who had hold of her shoulders turned round to see the two unconscious figures and backed up until he disappeared into the shadows.  
  
Meryl took this chance to dash forward and try to reach Vash before she woke up, she wanted to comfort him this time and not leave him to suffer alone. She fell to her knees not caring that the blood was staining her clothes and pulled him up into a clumsy embrace.   
  
His aqua eyes fluttered open half way and he spotted her looking down on him then he tried to speak, his voice cracking from the pain. Meryl brought her face closer to hear what he had to say.  
  
"My brother...Is Knives okay?" And with that he let his eyes fall closed and his body relaxed fully into the lasting rest of death. She called out to him, desperate for his eyes to open again but he was gone and she could not save him. Looking up she spotted the man that had to be Vash's brother and saw that he too was either dying or already dead. Her face was wet with tears that had refused to be held back and the sobs - that racked her body - froze her heart as well.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Meryl's eyes flew open to the darkness of night and the familiar room where she always woke up and wondered whether she had made any sound during the nightmare. She reached up and touched her face, which was wet with tears and sighed miserably when she spotted Vash looking at her, his eyes burning with fear and concern.  
  
She almost jumped at seeing him so close but was also glad to see that he was still alive and well and had to stop herself from hugging him. She sat up and tried to catch her breath and wiped the tears away. He caught her hand in his and she turned to him again.  
  
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Meryl asked meekly.  
  
"Yes, you were crying in your sleep." He told her gently.  
  
"I was?" Meryl tried to act like she didn't remember but Vash's eyes would not allow her to lie, she was trapped in the warm orbs that offered so much comfort.   
  
"Tell me about it."  
  
"It's nothing really."  
  
"Please." He begged and to her surprise he pushed her back on the bed and lay beside her. 'Does he know what this contact does to me?' She asked herself angrily but realised what a stupid question that was. Vash would never hurt anyone on purpose.  
  
"It was a nightmare."  
  
"About?"  
  
"You and, and your brother."  
  
"My brother?" Vash's interest grew.  
  
"I saw this light, just like that day when the fifth moon gained its crater." She hiccupped as the tears threatened again and he gently stroked the tears away from her face.  
  
"Carry on." He whispered and she felt her heart leap with joy at this moment they were sharing. He was lying next to her on the bed one hand lazily stroking her face and the other wrapped fondly around her. All she had to do was lean forward and she would be snuggled up in his warm embrace, astride the warmth of his chest.   
  
"Then there was this man, I didn't recognise him but he hurt you...he killed you and badly injured your brother."  
  
"Do you know where this was?"  
  
"No, everything was destroyed from the blast." Meryl started to cry again and forgetting that she should be shy, that she should be trying to forget her feelings for the outlaw lying in her bed she snuggled up against his chest and cried until there were no more tears left.   
  
Resting her head against his chest she closed her eyes and let her breathing slowly return to normal. The warmth made her instantly sleepy and she rested her head against him letting his strong heartbeat fill and echo her ears. Carefully - with courage she never knew she had - she slipped an arm around his waist to hold him closer. In response Vash simply reached over and grabbed the blanket that had fallen away during her nightmare and pulled it over them.  
  
"Umm, should I stay?" He whispered as he looked down at Meryl who was buried against him and couldn't resist a smile. She nodded slightly against him and sighed very quietly.  
  
"Is that a yes?" He asked again still not sure whether he should stay, especially if she woke up in the morning to find him next to her and decided that she wanted to beat him up.   
  
"So warm..." Was her only response and he finally let himself relax and fall asleep with her lying safe in the warm circle of his arms.   
  
***Meryl's POV***  
  
I woke up not to the sun but to something warm and soft against my face and pulling away very slightly I realised that it was in fact a warm shirt that belonged to Vash the Stampede. My heart was just about ready to leap into my throat when I remembered what had happened, the nightmare returned to my memory as clear as if it had actually happened and I knew he was only here to comfort me and nothing more.  
  
I drew in a deep breath and filled my lungs with his sweet scent, wishing that this moment would last forever. When he was with me I felt so safe and comfortable as if no one else in the world existed apart from us two.   
  
He moved slightly in his sleep and I glanced up at his face, which was even more beautiful in sleep. His golden hair had fallen down across his eyes and moved under the warmth of his breath. His mouth was slightly open in a teasing way and his eyes were completely closed and oblivious to the world around him.   
  
Sighing I drew myself closer to him again loving the new and wonderful feeling that warmed my heart. Suddenly he moved and glancing up again I saw his eyes opening and meeting mine, a faint blush on his face, which quickly faded to a smile.   
  
"Good morning." I said and he relaxed suddenly and I realised that he had probably thought I was going to hit him.   
  
"Good morning." He yawned and took his arms away from me before sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. I wriggled over into the warm hollow that he had left behind and closed my eyes again feeling the fatigue begin to take over again when he shook me awake.  
  
  
  
"You can't go back to sleep again." He told me firmly.  
  
"Why not?" I asked and sat up reluctantly to wait for my answer.  
  
"Well I want to go and get something to eat and I can't leave you here by yourself." He stretched and I watched the defined muscles beneath the shirt with a longing, which put myself to shame. Nodding I got up and smoothed out the blanket on the bed.  
  
"Will you be alright here while I go and get changed?" He asked softly and I nodded watching him leave and forcing myself to remember that he was only in the next room.   
  
I took this chance to gather my clothes and dress quickly so that I could wait for him to come back. To my surprise it was Millie who entered my room first and she smiled happily at seeing me awake.  
  
"I just came to see if you were hungry."  
  
"Well I am a little I suppose and I know for a fact that Vash is...aren't you supposed to be watching Knives?"  
  
"Ashley is taking care of him."  
  
"You're letting a child take care of a murderer?" I could not hide my shock at Millie's stupidity.  
  
"He isn't like that Meryl, actually could you go and ask Ashley if she is hungry whilst I go start breakfast." Millie then left the room leaving me alone and frowning at how silly she could be sometimes I obliged and entered the hall.  
  
I carefully tapped on the door and entered feeling slightly nervous at meeting this horrible fiend I had heard so much about. The next thing I knew Ashley was at the door looking up at me with a cheerful smile and beckoned for me to enter the room. Already I could see the man sitting up in bed looking over at us with strange curiosity.  
  
"Come in." Ashley urged and nodding slightly I entered the surprisingly light room. The child scampered around to face me and motioned for me to sit down.  
  
"I just came in to ask if you were hungry." I said declining her offer to sit down.   
  
"Well I'm fine, what about you Knives?" She asked over her shoulder and the man silently declined.  
  
He didn't look a lot like Vash, his hair was blonde but of a lighter shade and his eyes were a piercing blue, cold and harsh like ice. Yet he didn't seem as evil as I would have expected him to be, but I imagine that is due to having Millie taking care of him. She was such a sweet, kind person.   
  
"Meryl can I ask you a favour?"  
  
"Sure thing, anything for you." I smiled softly at the girl whose eyes sparkled with something I couldn't quite make out.  
  
"Well tonight there is a festival being held in town and I wondered if you would go with me...there will be food, drink and dancing."  
  
"Can't Millie take you?"  
  
"She is going as well but I really want you to come too."  
  
"Why is that?"  
  
"Well it'll be more fun if more people go."  
  
"I see." No one had mentioned this to me before.  
  
"Yeah and I guess I really want you to enjoy yourself."  
  
"I'm fine really." That was a complete lie.   
  
"So will you come?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Oh thank you so much Meryl, it will be really fun." Ashley smiled and at that moment Vash entered waving stupidly at his brother who simply scowled.   
  
"Well here you are." He said to me and glanced at Ashley nervously. The girl simply waved at him sweetly - maybe too sweetly and dashed past us and down the stairs.  
  
"What took you so long?" I asked ignoring the blue eyes that watched us intensely.  
  
"Uhh, Millie wanted to ask me something." He looked slightly uncomfortable talking about that and simply took me by the wrist and led me down the stairs.   
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Millie and Ashley sat opposite Meryl and Vash at the table, looking at them strangely their eyes gleaming with mischief. Both of them had been successful in getting their two subjects to go to the festival and it had been easier than what they had expected. Now all they had to do was be patient and wait, there was only seven more hours before it began.  
  
Vash was beginning to tuck into his third box of donuts by the time the others had found other things to do. Millie had taken food up to Knives even though he had said he wasn't hungry which meant she would be awhile and Ashley had gone outside to meet up with the other children.   
  
Meryl on the other hand was sitting quietly with her typewriter in her lap trying to think of what to write, she had not yet got past the introductions. She was afraid that if she wrote to say nothing bad had happened then she and Millie would be called back to headquarters. She wasn't ready to leave Vash yet and the thought of having to say goodbye to him forever tore her up inside.   
  
She poised her fingers over the keys and began to type slowly so as her eyes could take in what she was writing:   
  
It has been nearly four weeks (A/N: just a rough guess) since Vash the Stampede has returned to us in the town and so far there has been nothing out of the ordinary occurring.   
  
She paused again and looked at the short sentence that she had written, it was true enough but not what she wanted to write. So she continued hoping that this small lie wouldn't make her feel guilty.  
  
Yet Vash's enemy is still alive and well, which brings doubts into the situation and has led me to believe we are not out of danger just yet.  
  
This paragraph was true enough, his brother was alive and healing quickly and the nightmare...if it was a prophecy of some sort then they weren't out of danger just yet.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
The four friends stood by the door, all of them looking somewhat concerned. The festival had begun and they could hear the music playing from the town square yet none could leave until they had sorted out their "little problem" which was proving difficult.  
  
  
  
"Well we can't all go." Meryl broke into the conversation with irritation.  
  
"That much is obvious." Vash rolled his eyes and leaned against the doorframe waiting for someone to come up with an answer. "Well I'll just stay here then." He said at last when everyone else had fallen silent.  
  
"No!" Millie snapped, her eyes shimmered with panic and she stepped back into the house. "I'll stay with Mr. Knives, you three go off and have fun." Her eyes went to Ashley who nodded very slightly in acknowledgment.  
  
"Are you sure Millie?" Meryl asked nervously.  
  
"Positive, so off you go now." Millie waved and grinned before pushing them out of the doorway and closing it very quickly.   
  
Vash then broke into a huge grin and linking his arm in Meryl's and taking Ashley by the sleeve he led them down into the town. His mind was already thinking of the cheap priced beer and maybe even some freebees if he was lucky. He just hoped that Meryl wouldn't get angry and start hitting him because he drank too much.  
  
"Let me guess." Meryl interrupted his thoughts, "you're going to the saloon, right?" Her gaze was one of slight annoyance but nothing stern enough to put him off the idea.  
  
"Oh come on Meryl I haven't had a drink for ages." He pleaded with her.  
  
"I don't know if I want to sit in a smoky place all night."  
  
"It wont be all night Meryl, pleeease." He used the puppy eyes to help his case but she refused to look at him.   
  
"Pretty please." He added and this time she did look up at him.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Pretty please with donuts on top." He begged and she laughed at him, her eyes sparkling for the first time in over a week.  
  
"Fine." She gave in and he quickened his pace, determined to get to the saloon before she changed her mind.   
  
On entering the saloon Meryl was pleased to see that it was not filled with the usual rough crowd but with families and other nice people just out for a good time. Ashley instantly found a few friends to talk to which left Vash and Meryl standing at the bar. He turned his sparkling gaze to her and smiled happily.  
  
"Do you want a drink?" He asked.  
  
"Umm no thanks."  
  
"Aww come on, you never say yes."  
  
"Which is why you shouldn't be surprised. Any way you have never offered before"  
  
"Well I'm offering now aren't I?" He raised a hand to rub sheepishly at the back of his head and Meryl rolled her eyes.  
  
"Fine I'll have an orange juice." She smiled at his defeated expression and then waved madly to get the bar tender's attention.   
  
Meryl glanced around the bar and noticed that everyone seemed extremely happy and the atmosphere seemed to affect her in the same way. She couldn't rid herself of the smile that had appeared on her face and she watched Ashley sitting with her friends. The girl was so innocent but strong at the same time, her carefree ways made her so much like Millie that is was scary. Even so she was sure that the two were up to something, she could see it in their eyes but she just couldn't figure out what.  
  
"Here you go." Vash handed her the drink and interrupted her thoughts.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"What are you thinking about?" He seemed genuinely interested.  
  
"Do you think that Ashley and Millie are up to something?" She asked him and he shrugged and took a gulp of his beer.  
  
"Probably." He said and slumped back against the bar. Meryl smiled and closed her eyes briefly; she wanted to remember this moment for the rest of her life. This would be one of the rare moments she got to spend with the man of her heart, even if he did end up drunk before the night had even started.   
  
  
  
An hour passed by and Ashley was still sat with her friends although it looked like they were getting ready to leave. Meryl drained the last of her orange juice and turned to Vash who was sitting slightly dazed beside her. Their conversation had been light and amusing but she could tell the alcohol was starting to take an effect on him.   
  
A moment ago he had been yelling and laughing manically so that Meryl had been forced to turn away in embarrassment but now he seemed to have quietened down.  
  
"Don't you think you have had enough yet?" Meryl asked firmly and he looked at her through glazed eyes that seemed suddenly a lot greener.   
  
"I guessh so." He slurred slightly and Meryl fought to keep a stern look on her face.  
  
"How are you going to protect me if you're drunk?" She asked almost sweetly.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said standing and waiting for the room to stop spinning. Meryl sighed and reached out to grab his arm to help stable him on his feet, he gave her an appreciative look and allowed her to lead him out into the fresh air. Ashley followed behind them quietly, not wanting to ruin their moment.  
  
The fresh air seemed to help clear his head a little and he turned to see Meryl clinging to his arm in an effort to help him rather than being afraid to let go. 'That's just like Meryl to get over her fears so easily' he thought with an affectionate smile. This was true, as already Meryl had forgotten about everything else except her time with Vash. That was more important to her than anything else and she wanted to treasure it.  
  
"So where are we going next?  
  
"I don't mind." Meryl replied 'anywhere as long as it's with you.' She thought.  
  
"Well I'm hungry so lets go find some place to eat." He told her and felt instantly happier at seeing her smile, 'I wonder if anyone has told her she has a beautiful smile.' He thought silently.   
  
"Okay sure thing." She agreed and turned round to make sure Ashley was still with them. The girl waved back and hurried up to walk beside them making sure that everything was going according to plan.   
  
The moons were brighter that night than ever before and every star twinkled with an unnatural yet wondrous beauty. The town was alive with people and colourful lights and music and the three friends weaved their way through the small streets and into the main square where people were dancing and eating food that was being served for free at several stalls. A black cat watched them with bright eyes from a trashcan; it's tail flickering to the music.  
  
Vash found the stall selling pastries and instantly directed their course over to it where he bought as much as he could afford before they found a seat near where the dancing was taking place. Meryl leaned back against the bench and watched everything around her in sheer joy, nothing could possibly make this a better event, and this would be a night she would remember forever.   
  
Ashley who was sitting next to Vash nudged him slightly to grab his attention and he looked at her questioningly, his eyes bright and filled with starlight. She moved closer to him.  
  
"You want one?" He asked, offering her a donut, which she took gratefully.  
  
"Now listen to me Mister, if you don't ask Meryl to dance then I will tell her that you love her." She giggled at the fear in his face and kept her stern gaze fixed on him. "Well?" She asked but he did not reply.  
  
"Ashley, you're so mean." He whimpered and faked tears.  
  
"Meryl I need to tell you something." Ashley said, raising her voice so that the raven-haired girl could hear. She loved to watch Vash panic just like he was doing now until he scrambled forward and clamped a hand around her mouth, begging her with his eyes to stay silent.  
  
  
  
"What is it?" Meryl asked, completely oblivious to as why the two were acting so strange. Vash released Ashley and jumped to his feet holding out his hand to Meryl who simply looked at it in confusion.  
  
"Well?" He asked.  
  
"Well what?" Meryl gazed at him with her violet eyes.  
  
"Will you dance with me?" He asked and reached down catching her hand and pulling her to her feet. He definitely did not want Ashley to spill his feelings about a certain raven-haired insurance girl just so he could get beaten up.   
  
Meryl was still staring at him with strange suspicion in her violet eyes and he looked down at her, smiling sweetly.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll be careful." He added remembering her wounds that were still in the healing process. She nodded slightly and glanced back at Ashley who sat grinning idiotically at them.  
  
***Vash's POV***  
  
Even though a ten-year-old girl had forced me into this course of action I was still glad that it had occurred. I was also glad that Meryl hadn't turned me down otherwise Ashley would have told her and...eek I don't even want to think about that.   
  
Carefully I led her out to where all the people were dancing and pulled her close making sure that she couldn't see my face which was burning with embarrassment. Luckily she wasn't looking at me but at the people who were already dancing around us. I took this opportunity to wrap an arm around her and lead her into the rhythm of the music.  
  
Of course I had danced before but this was a total different experience for me, dancing with Meryl was like...like flying. She was light enough to manoeuvre easily into the turns and she fitted against me perfectly like two matching pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Could it be that my search for the mayfly had finally come to an end?  
  
We slowed with the tempo of the music and I took this chance to wrap my arms further around her and couldn't help but sigh. This was just too perfect and then the voice in the back of my mind reminded me that it couldn't last. I was never meant to feel like this, never meant to get close enough to anyone to have feelings for them. I was being an idiot, this was not making things easier for me at all and yet my heart was blocking out these thoughts. All I could think of was how nice it felt to be close to her and what it would be like to kiss her and have her kiss me back.  
  
Of course all the time I was daydreaming about how wonderful it would be to kiss her - along with other things - I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing and being the fool that I am I accidentally stepped on her toes. I cringed and started to apologise, dreading the response but she merely laughed.  
  
"You're such a clumsy idiot."   
  
"Uhh yeah, sorry."  
  
"It's okay."   
  
"You sure." I asked and she looked up at me and nodded firmly.  
  
"Plus it helps me forget about my other wounds." She sighed and slowed down slightly.  
  
"Are they hurting you?" I asked softly and she looked up again and shook her head but I could see the tears beading in the corners of her eyes.   
  
"I'm fine." She breathed and leaned closer against me.  
  
"I didn't mean to hurt you." I told her and she squeezed my hand gently.  
  
"I know, and it wasn't your fault so don't go thinking it was. They hurt before I even came out."  
  
"Why didn't you say anything?"  
  
"Because...I didn't want to worry anyone and I didn't want you to think I was weak." Her voice was muffled against my shirt but I knew what she was saying.  
  
"Meryl its our job to worry about you, we are your friends after all."  
  
"But-" I held out my hand to silence her.  
  
"Meryl we know you aren't weak, no weak person could have survived what you went through and faced their fears so easily."  
  
"I guess but..."  
  
"Meryl..." I placed a finger beneath her chin and tipped her head up to look at me, a single crystalline tear slipped down her face and with the other hand I brushed it away.  
  
"I'm sorry." She apologised.   
  
"Don't be." I spoke so softly and realised that we had stopped dancing.  
  
I looked up slightly to check that Ashley was still sitting safely on the chair, she waved at me and gave a thumbs up. That was when I realised what she had been doing all this time, most likely Millie too - they were setting us up! (A/N: aww aint Vashie slow huh - you gotta love him...^-^)   
  
Feeling suddenly sick due to my stupidity and that I had fallen straight into their plan I took Meryl's hand and led her back over to Ashley who was looking at us in confusion.   
  
"I want to take Meryl back now." I told the girl firmly who sighed and jumped up, her face filled with disappointment.   
  
The walk home took a little longer due to the people that crowded the streets and Meryl started to walk slower every minute. Keeping an eye on her I wound through the people and made sure that Ashley hadn't run off.   
  
"Are you sure you're alright?" I asked gently and Meryl looked up at me, her eyes half lidded with fatigue and her legs shaking very slightly. She opened her mouth to tell me that she was fine but ended up being a squeak of surprise as I swept her up into my arms.   
  
She mumbled something I couldn't quite understand and snuggled closer against me and I looked fondly down at her. Maybe Ashley and Millie had done me a favour after all, but still I couldn't stay here. Even if I told her how I felt and she felt the same way I couldn't stay and keep her happy, it would be wrong of me...wouldn't it?  
  
Ashley was the first one to reach the house and knocked on the door, Millie answered just as we arrived and I noticed how her eyes sparkled at seeing the short girl cuddled in my arms. I blushed slightly but grinned to hide it.  
  
"So how has everything been here?"  
  
"Fine, Mr. Knives has slept virtually the whole time." Millie stepped back to let us in and I nodded, glad that my brother hadn't caused her any trouble.  
  
"I'm just going to take Meryl upstairs." I told the girls who beamed back at me with their large, sparkling eyes. I knew exactly what they were thinking and I wished that it were true.   
  
I walked up the stairs starting to feel tired myself and entered the room before laying her down on the bed, her eyes fluttered open and the moonlight caught them brilliantly.  
  
"Vash..." She whispered and started to sit up. Gently pushing her back I noticed that she winced and looked at her with deep concern.  
  
"Are you hurting?"  
  
"Just a little, it'll soon pass so don't worry." She smiled slightly and let her eyes fall closed but I couldn't help but worry. Leaning over I tugged at her shirt and she frowned and tried to stop me.  
  
"Vash now is not the time to return to your perverse ways." She scolded lightly and I smiled at her effort to stop me.  
  
"I just want to see."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" She sounded slightly annoyed now.  
  
"No not that, I mean your injury, you broke your ribs didn't you?"  
  
"Yes..." Her word ended in a sleepy sigh. I tugged on her shirt again and lifted enough to see the swollen purple bruise that covered her pale skin. I touched it gently and felt her wince under my gossamer touch.  
  
"Sorry." I apologised.  
  
"It's okay." She murmured... "Is it bad?" She asked and I glanced up into her face, which was filled with fear.  
  
"It looks sore." I admitted to her and she shivered slightly, tears flowing down her cheeks. I leaned over and wiped her tears away again; I hated to see her cry.   
  
Then in that moment something strange happened but I didn't feel like I should hide my feelings anymore. I wanted to show her how much I loved her and that she shouldn't feel so scared and unwanted, because I wanted her. Maybe it was because our faces were close to touching as it was and I could feel her warm breath tickling my skin and causing electric shivers down my spine. Maybe it was our eyes that locked and refused to let go of each other but in that moment I couldn't help but kiss her.  
  
I leaned forwards letting her breath touch my lips before pressing my mouth against hers. She gave a soft sound that sounded like surprise, but a surprise that she didn't mind receiving and I let the soft kiss become a little harder. It was then that I was aware of her, the small, delicate hands that climbed around my neck to hold me close to her. The sweet scent of her that mingled with my own and the soft skin, which made my own tingle with pleasure.   
  
After what could have only been a few seconds I felt her lips part slightly almost eagerly and I chose to take the risk and deepen the kiss further than I ever would believe I could. She gave a little sigh in the back of her throat which gave me the signal that this was just fine and moving my hand from her face I grabbed the blanket and pulled it over us before rolling onto my side beside her never once breaking the kiss.  
  
Then the ache in my lungs told me that it was time to stop and as we parted I looked into those beautiful eyes, which held a deep love inside them before she fell asleep in my arms. Lying alone in the dark beside her, the passion of the moment burning down I realised what I had done, 'you stupid idiot now what the hell have you done!' I winced and felt the tears sting my eyes, how could I leave after this? Why hadn't she rejected me...maybe it was fatigue that had clouded her moral thoughts or maybe...possibly...could she have feelings for me? With that thought I let myself fall asleep, totally forgetting that Ashley and Millie had been waiting for me to return to the lounge.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Well there you go my 9th chapter and I have to say it is my longest yet, 9545 words to be exact which I'm pretty proud of. This is probably one of my fav chapters so I hope you will like it too. The only thing I think was a let down was the drunk Vash part; maybe I'll try that again in another chapter.  
  
So was it worth the long wait? (I apologise for that)  
  
Please review for me, I like reading on what people thought and how I can make it better so don't hesitate, it'll only take a few seconds.  
  
Thanks **~AA~**  
  
'Love and Peace' 


	10. Confession

Disclaimer: No I don't own Trigun, I don't own anything.  
  
Note: Yay the tenth chapter here we come, I won't keep on talking long this time even though I know you enjoy listening to me talk *crickets chirp* well just to let you know that this fic is nearing its end, I am guessing about four maybe five chapters left.   
  
I have to apologise for the long wait, I can't remember when I updated last but it hasn't been for a few weeks now. There are reasons for this though:  
  
- Lack of inspiration to make the chapter long enough  
  
- A few of my reviews for the last chapter weren't showing up until recently.  
  
- I came up with about three different endings for the chapter and had to decide on which one to use; Vash stays...Vash leaves with Knives...Knives disappears and Vash follows (read on to find out what one I finally decided to use.)  
  
Well maybe I lied about not talking long, sorry about that, anyway now to thank my wonderful reviewers...I got ten this time so I'm really REALLY happy.  
  
Blu - I agree that Millie and Wolfwood are more suited but I just couldn't bring myself to make Wolfwood miraculously live and change decisions made in the anime. Glad you liked my last chapter.  
  
Allen - Thank you for your kind review I'm glad you are enjoying my fan fic.  
  
SnapDragon76 - yay glad u registered and I'm extra glad that you enjoyed my last chapter.  
  
Silverado6000 - Yeah I thought that it would only be appropriate that Vash realised what was happening - don't ask me why though - it just felt like the right thing to do. I agree that Vash probably isn't affected by alcohol as much as he lets people think as well, for the same reasons you put (glad I aint the only one). I'm glad you liked the last chapter I was pretty proud of it ^-^.  
  
Rainy-days13 - Yup drunk vashie, glad you liked it and thanks for your review.  
  
Darkraven - Yeah they kissed, I thought it was about time I made the two do something more than hug. Thanks for the review.  
  
Dustdragon - I'm glad you liked the ending of the last chapter; I thought it would be good to end on something sweet. Thanks for your review  
  
SolarBreeze07 - Glad you like the pairings; I'll try to do a little more Knives/Millie in the future chapters but maybe not so much in this one. Thanks for your review.   
  
Sake21 - Glad you still like the story, thanks for your review.  
  
Neptune Butterfly - Glad you liked all the fluff in my last chapter and you'll have to keep reading to find out what happens next, this was probably the hardest chapter to write so I hope you enjoy it and I will definitely drop by sometime.   
  
Chapter 10 - Confession  
  
The sunlight was shining delicately through the thin curtains that morning, making the whole room glow with a warm golden light. Vash opened his eyes and blinked the sleep out of them before yawning quietly; the intense light blinded him briefly so he shut them to block out the rays of the suns.   
  
The bed felt strangely warmer and more comforting than usual and he snuggled down further to try and bury his head under the covers. Letting out a sigh of contentment he closed his eyes tighter and tried to fall asleep again. He was just drifting off when he felt something move beside him and his eyes flew open to see the beautiful face of the insurance girl beside him.   
  
His heart leapt into his throat and he backed up slightly in sudden fear of what might have occurred. Then he remembered what had happened, the drinking and the dancing and...the kiss. 'Did that really happen?' He questioned his own actions but something in the back of his mind told him that it had.  
  
Feeling slightly panicked at what he had done and how she had reacted to him he jumped from the bed and staggered backwards. The girl in the bed was totally unaware, sound asleep and for the first time looking completely relaxed and happy. His heart warmed at the sight of her in such a tranquil state and he found himself smiling warmly at her. 'That kiss...' the memory kept repeating again and again in his head, she hadn't rejected him as he had believed she would 'she never pushed me away.' He admitted to himself reluctantly, but maybe that was because she was tired and didn't know what she was doing. He hoped that was the case.  
  
She stirred lightly and he dashed out of the door and into the hall hoping that she wouldn't remember what had happened.  
  
"I can't believe I did that." He thought aloud and stretched lazily.  
  
"Did what?" A little voice from behind him said and he jumped a foot in the air.  
  
"Hey, didn't anyone teach you to not sneak up on people!" He growled and eyed Ashley warily; he was slowly learning not to trust women especially the little ones.   
  
"Nope." She beamed up at him, "So how was your night?" She winked suggestively at him and he blushed deeply.  
  
"Aren't you a little...well...young to know about that kind of thing?" His blush increased.  
  
"Hmm naw I wouldn't think so, why are you blushing?"  
  
"No reason, and just for your information NOTHING happened." He turned and dashed down the stairs to escape from the little menace who just wouldn't leave him alone.   
  
Milly looked up from her place at the table as Vash entered the room looking extremely uncomfortable and flustered. She pushed the black cat off of her lap and stood up waving a pot of pudding at him.  
  
"Want one?" She asked innocently but couldn't hide the smile that was appearing on her face.   
  
"No thanks, I think you should teach that girl more manners." He whined and flopped down on the couch looking absolutely miserable.   
  
"Vash did something happen last night?" Millie enquired gently and spotted Ashley in the corner of her eye.   
  
"No." He replied simply and she noticed he had put on his sunglasses - she hadn't seen those in a while.   
  
"Are you sure?" She asked again as she got up to move beside him.   
  
Ashley entered the room fully to join them in the living room and tried to listen in on the conversation but they were whispering so quietly it was practically sign language. Sighing miserably she decided to go out and get some fresh air to leave the sulking outlaw to talk to Millie.  
  
***Meryl's POV***  
  
I woke up feeling the dull ache in my ribs and winced as I rolled over and stretched out on the bed. Slowly my head stopped buzzing and I opened my eyes to the bright sunshine that trickled through the window. It seemed like such a nice day and for some reason I couldn't rid myself of the smile that had grown over night.  
  
  
  
I had the most wonderful dream last night and the memory of it lingered in my thoughts and warmed my very soul. 'You're pathetic' I thought to myself with a shake of my head, 'you put all your feelings into a simple dream' Sighing I stood up and felt the ache of the muscles in my legs from all the walking and dancing I had done. Even if it were a dream it was as good as the real thing and better still; no one would ever know. It would be my little secret to keep in my heart forever.   
  
Looking through the draws I found some clothes and walked out into the hall so I could shower before making an appearance downstairs. The water felt extraordinarily warm and I stretched under the gentle caress of the water drops, yet the ominous feeling that something was going to happen could not be washed away.   
  
Feeling refreshed and content for the first time in weeks I made my way downstairs and into the lounge and found that no one was there. The house was completely silent and I shivered as I realised I was extremely alone - if I didn't count Knives. Making my way to the kitchen I poured myself a glass of water and drank it slowly to try and pass the time quicker.   
  
'Where have they all gone?' I wondered and flopped down on the couch to get the best view of the door. Millie had never said anything to me about shopping and surely Vash couldn't have...left. Then again he had told me a few times that he would be leaving and that Millie and I would not be able to follow. Taking this into account I started to wonder what would happen to our jobs, if we let Vash just walk away then we would most likely be demoted and put back into the offices to work on reports all day and everyday. That thought made me cringe, after living an exciting life and travelling around the world, would I be happy to just sit behind a desk? Would I be happy living a simple existence and most of all: would I be happy living my life without Vash there to brighten my day?   
  
I heard the sound of someone coming down the stairs and my heart rose as I realised that I wasn't alone in the house. This feeling of joy was instantly crushed as I saw Knives appear, his icy gaze fixed on me and a scowl creased his features. We stood in silence staring at each other, both of us too proud to look away first.  
  
"Where is my brother?" He asked impatiently.  
  
"I'm not sure, you shouldn't be walking in your condition."  
  
"Idiot." He snapped, "I heal much quicker than you pathetic humans." He tore his gaze away and glanced around the room to confirm that no one else was there.   
  
"At least sit down." I broke the silence and he narrowed his eyes in irritation.  
  
"I can't believe my brother has feelings for you." With that remark he crossed the room and sat down on a chair.  
  
"Wha-what?" I stammered at his remark and couldn't hide the blush that was steadily creeping into my face.   
  
He laughed and closed his eyes, which I was glad of, his eyes were terrifyingly cold. Shivering slightly I huddled into the couch further and watched him nervously. For a long while he remained silent and I almost believed that he had fallen asleep until his eyes opened again. This time they seemed less clouded and almost glossy with contentment. 'Why doesn't he kill me?' I thought.  
  
"There would be no point to killing you, plus I made a promise to my brother." I jumped in surprise at having my unspoken question answered and I felt the starting of panic rise inside me.  
  
"H-how did you know what I was thinking?" I cursed at the way my voice shook.  
  
"Now that's my little secret." He grinned.  
  
'That creep, getting into my thoughts.' I tried to stop myself from thinking but it was impossible and I saw the amusement in his face at seeing my impossible struggle.  
  
"It is futile." He sighed and repositioned himself more comfortable on the chair and stretched out his legs.  
  
"Can Vash do that too?" I asked nervously, 'What if he read my thoughts when I was thinking about him!?' A nervous twisting began in my stomach and I shuddered in terror.  
  
"Of course." Came Knives reply and I forced back the feeling of utter panic and shame.  
  
"Oh." I managed to choke.  
  
"Don't worry human, Vash doesn't look into anyone's minds. He says it's breaking into something that should never be looked into."  
  
"And he's right! A mind is someone's most private feelings, you cant just go and snoop around in people's thoughts."  
  
"So that's why my brother likes you." Knives looked at me with a strange glint in his eyes.  
  
"How do you know that?"  
  
"It's obvious." He shrugged and suddenly the door flew open and Millie entered with bags of groceries in her arms.   
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Millie paused in the doorway and clung tighter to the bags that she was holding, her eyes settled on Knives and then on Meryl who were both looking at her with anxious glances. Millie pushed back the strange feelings inside of her and grinned happily to her friend who was now standing and making her way towards her.  
  
"Hello Meryl." Millie began as she walked over to the small kitchen to put the groceries down on the side. Meryl smiled slightly up at her friend before digging around in the bags.  
  
"I never knew that you were going shopping today." She said as she found the boxes of donuts piled up in one of the bags.   
  
"I thought I might as well and I didn't want to wake you."  
  
"I didn't mean to sleep so long." Meryl admitted as she packed away the food into the cupboards.  
  
"I guess you tired yourself out last night." Millie grinned at her blushing friend.  
  
After putting away all the groceries Millie looked nervously back at Knives who sat silently in the chair. He seemed to watch her - not with hate - but with deep curiosity and she wondered what could be so interesting about her.  
  
"Where is Vash?" Meryl asked quietly, her embarrassment still obvious.  
  
"He went to check on Ashley." Millie informed as she sat down on the couch.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know, he was bored I guess." Millie shrugged but even Meryl could tell that something wasn't quite right. 'Is Vash trying to avoid me?' She wondered and glanced over at Knives who nodded in reply to her unspoken question. 'Then it's true, he is avoiding me because he knows he has to leave, he is ashamed.' This time she didn't need to look to Knives for an answer, she knew in her heart that he had to leave.  
  
"Meryl." Millie whispered and the two locked eyes.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Vash is leaving today." Her voice was barely audible but at the same time deafening, Meryl thought her heart would fail her and she would collapse on the ground and die, 'maybe that would be better.' She thought to herself sadly.  
  
"I had a feeling he was leaving soon." She whispered with her face lowered to hide the traces of tears that had gathered in her violet orbs.   
  
"I tried to talk him out of it this morning." Millie muttered as she caught sight of a tear in Meryl's eyes.   
  
"What did he say?"  
  
"He said he couldn't stay."  
  
"That's it?" Meryl pushed back the tears and forced her anger to cover up the grief that she felt. "That idiot thinks about no one but himself!" She yelled and ran up the stairs leaving Millie and Knives alone in the lounge. They regarded each other sadly and let the silence consume them.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Vash found Ashley sitting on the cliff where he and Meryl had sat together just a couple of months ago. Instead of being bathed in moonlight - which made everything silver under its touch - the sunlight soaked them in gold. The sand of the desert glowed with an inner fire that made everything seem alive and the whirling of a heat wave on the horizon distorted his vision slightly.  
  
The child sat just ahead of him, totally oblivious to his presence and relaxed in the warm embrace of the twin suns. Her braided hair flowed back away from her pale face revealing large, sparkling eyes to the desert below. The beauty that flowed her could only exist in the innocence of youth. Yet underneath the naivety and purity was a very intelligent child who knew much more than others her age.  
  
Vash paused to look at the girl with admiration, she was so strong for being so young and she had a wondrous talent for reading other peoples' emotions. In a way she was exactly like Millie.   
  
"What are you doing up here?" He put on his cheerful façade. Ashley instantly turned her bright eyes to look at him and smiled cheerfully.  
  
"I just wanted to look at the desert."  
  
"There's nothing much interesting about that, it's always the same."  
  
"That's just it, no matter how the world changes the desert will always be the same...familiar." Her voice was almost a whisper and Vash regarded her with curiosity.  
  
"I guess that's true." He admitted.  
  
"I just wanted you to be happy." She continued and he looked at her again, catching sight of tears that shimmered in her eyes.  
  
"I am happy."  
  
"No your not." Ashley stated firmly.  
  
"What makes you say that?"  
  
"You don't want to leave, but you're doing it anyway."   
  
"I don't mind."  
  
"So you're denying that you love her?" Ashley turned her glassy eyes to the outlaw sitting beside her. "You are saying you don't have feelings for her?"  
  
"What are you taking about?" Vash blushed slightly.  
  
"Meryl, I'm talking about Meryl." The little girl sighed miserably and looked back out across the wasteland.  
  
For a long time the two sat in silence and finally Vash broke the silence, he leaned forward to rest his head in his hands and sighed despondently. "I do." He muttered.  
  
"Millie and I just wanted you to be happy Vash."   
  
"I know, but sometimes no matter how much you wish for something to be true it doesn't happen. I'm sorry."  
  
"It's not me you should be apologising to." The girl remarked and Vash was stunned by how sharp the child was.  
  
"You're right, will you take care of her for me when I'm gone?"  
  
"Of course, it's the least I can do for her. She saved my life after all." Ashley regained her smile and stood up, the breeze caressing her face and slipping between the strands of hair.   
  
Walking back down to the house the two spoke about more normal things, both trying to forget their grief and continue acting as if nothing was wrong. It didn't take them long to get home and as they entered Millie and Knives looked up at them.   
  
Vash was glad that his brother was walking around, it would mean that he didn't have to carry him and yet seeing how relaxed his brother seemed in the company of humans was comforting. 'Maybe when he is fully recovered I can come back to visit them.' He cheered up at that prospect.  
  
  
  
"Is it time for us to go brother?" Knives murmured in his emotionless tone.   
  
"In a little while Knives, I have to go say goodbye to Meryl." At that statement Millie gave a small sob, which was as painful as a physical blow, and Ashley ran over to comfort the tall insurance girl.  
  
Vash felt incredibly guilty at what he was doing to the girls. He realised that all the time they had been together as a group they had become close friends. He just wished that he could tell them how much this was hurting him but as it was, he couldn't.   
  
He would never leave his brother again, he had made a promise to take care of him and he was definitely going to. He could not be selfish and just follow his heart when his twin needed him for emotional and physical support.   
  
He made his way up the stairs knowing that Meryl would be there without even needing to ask. A terrible feeling of guilt and despair flowed over him but he knew he couldn't leave without saying goodbye. He didn't want to deny himself a last few words with her and he couldn't just leave without saying anything...again.  
  
Tapping lightly on the door he was greeted by the faint clicking sounds of the typewriter and sighed, Meryl was never in a good mood when she had reports to write. He pushed the door open slightly and peered around it to look into the well-lit room.  
  
A window was opened wide and the lacy curtains fluttered inside the room as the breeze freshened the pretty little room. Meryl sat at the small desk that was just right of the window a pencil behind her ear and hair mussed from running her hands through it - most likely in irritation. He smiled at how cute she was when she was working and so lost in thought.  
  
"Hi." He murmured sheepishly as he entered the room. She jumped out of her skin and whirled round, terror flashing in her eyes. He cursed himself from sneaking up on her and being so insensitive. Considering that she had only just gotten over her fears it had been a stupid thing to do.  
  
"Damn Vash you shouldn't sneak up on people like that!" She exclaimed as she stood up and straightened her hair. He laughed as he realised that had been practically the same thing he had said to Ashley this morning.   
  
"I'm sorry." He rubbed at the back of his head in embarrassment.  
  
"You came to say goodbye didn't you." Meryl said as she took the pencil from behind her ear and placed it on the desk.   
  
***Meryl's POV***  
  
He looked at me with an unreadable expression; his once bright eyes that were filled with life, now dull with a deep emotion. I knew what he was going to say and I had already planned what I was going to tell him. Yes I was going to confess my undying love to him whether he wanted to hear it or not, how I was going to go about it I wasn't too sure.  
  
I noticed also how tense he looked and the blonde hair that flopped over his face caused pale shadows on his skin. I drew in a deep breath hoping that sudden inspiration would hit me and I would be able to express my feelings correctly.  
  
  
  
"Vash I..." my breath caught in my throat at seeing the tears in his eyes, I know I shouldn't have been shocked at seeing him cry but I was so confused and it just didn't seem like something he would cry about. 'Is he really going to miss me...us?' I thought but shook that from my mind.   
  
Like an idiot I just stood there looking at him as he wept silently in front of me, I couldn't go to comfort him because if I did I might not be able to let him go. I calmed my flailing heart and opened my mouth to try again but was interrupted.  
  
"Meryl I know you probably will want to follow me because of your job and everything but...just promise me that you wont." His voice was so quiet but I could hear him perfectly.  
  
"I can't promise that Vash." I replied sadly, "If we are asked to chase after you then we have to do it, it's our job after all."  
  
"But Meryl." He sounded desperate now, "Don't you care that your life will be at risk?"  
  
"Vash...you still don't understand do you? My job is my life." I made sure to look at the ground when saying this my mind screaming at me to tell him now, it was the perfect time, 'you are my life' I wished I had said it out loud.   
  
"Then maybe you should find something else more important."  
  
"You don't have the right to tell me how to live my life!" I snapped 'I already have.' I answered mentally.  
  
"Please Meryl." He seemed to be even more tired then before, he didn't want an argument with me.  
  
"If it will make you happy then I'll quit my job." I told him and he looked up at me, his eyes wide in shock, he obviously had not expected that remark.   
  
"You mean it?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But why?" He blinked and stepped closer but instinctively I stepped back.   
  
"You really don't know?" I thought he might have some idea of my feelings - that I would do anything to make him happy - even quit my job.  
  
"Know what?" Nope he had no idea, trust clueless Vash to be so blind.  
  
"For a while now Vash...I...well I've known you for a long time...and I have seen everything you have had to endure...I have seen into your true personality. This is difficult for me to say so I think I'll just come straight out and say it...what I mean is that..." I paused mentally kicking myself 'he must think I'm such an idiot' I cleared my throat to try again.   
  
"I'm still waiting." Vash reminded and I felt the anger flare up inside me, here I was trying to spill my heart out and all he could do was make rude comments.   
  
"Will you just shut your mouth and listen to me you idiot!" I practically screamed and smiled at seeing him flinch. He looked so cute when he was scared.   
  
"O-okay." He stammered.  
  
Well here goes nothing, if this isn't the time to tell him there never would be and I let my gaze fall to the floor. My heart was pounding so loudly that I was sure he could hear it and a sickening writhing started in my stomach.   
  
"Vash...I think...well actually I know...I'm in love with you." I wish I had heard his answer, but one glance into those stunned eyes was enough to tell me that I had been rejected. I dashed past him before he could stop me and locked myself in the room where Knives had been staying; yes I know that sounds pathetic but you have to understand. I knew that he was going to reject me, tell me that it was okay and I shouldn't be embarrassed of my feeling, because that was the kind of person he was. Even though I knew he would never be cruel I didn't want to hear his words of pity for me.  
  
I knew that putting him in that position was probably just as awkward for him but I needed to tell him. Now that I had I would be able to move on with my life and possibly find someone else 'yeah right' I thought miserably, the most I could hope for was that I would still have a job at the end of the day.   
  
I heard him leave a few moments later and the sound of the door closing behind him and his brother finally allowed the tears to flow freely. A feeling of deep shame at my actions swept over me and even worse was the regret of telling him and becoming another of his burdens. That thought almost killed me but I knew that I had to carry on; I still had Millie and Ashley to take care of after all.   
  
***Vash's POV***  
  
I can't believe I just heard her say that, I never ever believed I would hear those words from her. I had never suspected a thing - maybe guys are as dense as women say they are - and Ashley and Millie had known, they must have known something to want to set us up together.   
  
I was so shocked that I didn't even notice that she wasn't even in the room anymore and that I was alone, staring into nothing. Then when I had finally recovered from the shock of her confession I realised that she must have taken my shocked silence as a rejection. 'It's just as well she did' I thought, 'if I had told her the truth it would have been harder for her to move on with her life when I leave.'   
  
Sadly I walked down the stairs and into the living room where Knives was standing ready by the door, his head bowed slightly with impatience. Millie was standing in the kitchen looking for something in the cupboard and Ashley was sitting on the couch. She jumped up as she saw me enter and grabbed my hand tightly.  
  
  
  
"You better write." She gave me one of her 'there's no choice in the matter' looks just like Meryl used and I nodded.  
  
"Where will you be going?" I asked.  
  
"Home." Millie replied as she walked over, she had two boxes of donuts in her arms and I felt the tears building in my eyes. I took the donuts gratefully and hugged them against me.  
  
"Well I guess that's for the best." I felt Knives' icy gaze on me and sighed. Knowing that he didn't want to wait much longer.  
  
"Goodbye then." I put on my best smile and headed for the door making sure not to look back.   
  
I walked in a daze, hardly aware of Ashley and Millie yelling a final goodbye, or the bite of the sand on my skin. I even forgot that my brother was walking contentedly beside me, he was probably happy to get me away from them. The only thing that my mind could focus on was Meryl, everything else seemed unimportant and the look in her eyes at seeing my reaction to her confession kept replaying in my mind.  
  
'Why did she have to tell me?' I wondered.  
  
"Because she didn't want to be weighed down by the secret for the rest of her life." Knives answered and I shrugged.  
  
"Even if that was true, why did she leave it to the last minute?"  
  
"Human's are weak, she was scared to tell you her true feelings." Knives scoffed.  
  
"No she isn't." I snapped and he grinned.  
  
"So I hit a sensitive spot did I?" He laughed and for a split second I saw something like happiness glint in his eyes.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about." I grinned but I could tell that Knives already knew my feelings for her. He seemed to know a lot about everything.  
  
"Will you write to them?" Knives asked.  
  
"No." I said simply. As cold as it may seem I knew that if I wrote, it would reopen painful wounds for both Meryl and me and she would never be able to move on. It would be better for both of us if we could just forget and move on.  
  
"It's not like you to be so heartless and selfish brother." Knives looked at me curiously.  
  
"It's for the best." I replied and he nodded and looked ahead.  
  
My mind was blurred with grief and the only thing I could think about was the kiss that Meryl and I had shared. 'Why hadn't she mentioned it?' I wondered, 'maybe she didn't remember it, she had been half asleep' I hoped desperately that she didn't remember.  
  
* * * Normal POV***  
  
Standing on the outskirts of town a lone figure stood dressed in gold to match the desert and eyes fixed on the two approaching figures. The shoulders shook with silent laughter and stepping back the stranger waited for the right moment to strike the unsuspecting victims.  
  
"I finally found them, now I can get my revenge." The voice swirled with the breeze and faded so that no one could ever hear it.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Well there you go, its quite a short chapter and you are probably hating me for making Vash leave but don't worry there are more surprises in store - well maybe - so make sure you leave me a review and I'll try and get the next chapter up soon.  
  
'Love and Peace' (=*.*=) (''') 


	11. Stranger

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun *sigh*  
  
Note: Okay I feel like sharing a little story with you lovely reviewers cos it might help you. Let me explain. From the beginning of this fan fic I have been planning to make an original character come and attack Vash and Knives. But until recently I had no idea who, why or how this was going to happen.  
  
I had a bit of writers block on this character's past and reasons for wanting to kill blah blah blah but I was walking home from school by the river and was thinking about my fic and was hit by some really good ideas. So if you ever have writers block try going for a nice little walk it really does help.   
  
Now to thank my reviewers I can't believe how many people I had review the last chapter. Wheeee thankoo.  
  
Snapdragon76 - Don't be upset I'm sure things will work out for Vash and Meryl, I mean it has too, cos if it doesn't I'm going to need to borrow some of those tissues. Thanks for your review, much appreciated *bows*  
  
Dustdragon - mwa ha ha yes I'm evil, but I can be worse. *points to devil horns and tail* thanks for your review  
  
Pammi - I'm glad you like my story so far and I promise I will do some more Knives/Millie, not sure whether it will be in this chapter but if not it will definitely be in the next one. Thanx for your review  
  
Blu and TK - ha your review had me in fits of laughter, it really cheered up an otherwise boring day so thanks for that.   
  
Neptune Butterfly - ahh I'm so sorry bout making this chapter mean, I guess maybe I should have made this fic angst and not romance but I promise things will cheer up...well hopefully...maybe not this chapter. Yeah you can send Kuroneko to attack Knives if you like (=^.^=) mew! Thanks for your review.   
  
Happyjack - thanks for your sweet review, I think you're a new reviewer so hugs all around for you *hugs* mew!  
  
Vashfan311 - thank you I'm glad that you think that, I tried really hard with the emotions in that chapter. Wheeeee I'm happy now, thanks for your review  
  
Darkraven - Don't worry we can't have a Vash Meryl fluffy fic end this way so don't despair little one they will be brought together again, and if not you can just pretend they were. HA HA...::ahem:: thanks for your review!  
  
Silverado6000 - Yay I'm glad I didn't do anything wrong in the last chapter cos I checked it twice through before submitting it @.@ yeah I really wanted to make them leave again so that maybe they would appreciate each other more etc... and I thought I better make the stranger make an appearance sometime or other. I'm glad you liked how I depicted the emotions. When I wrote that section I really tried to think about how I would feel in Meryl's position and partly Vash's. I guess I have kinda been in that situation as well but sadly unlike Meryl I never said anything although I was close too...O.O oo-kay enough about my love life...or lack of it...thanks for your review. ^.^  
  
Bishinjougodess - *strikes Vash-like 'love and peace' pose. Thanks for your review I'm glad you are enjoying it.  
  
Xim-chan - You'll find out everything in this chapter...hopefully. Thanks for your review err reviews *.* hugs for you!!  
  
Rainy-days13 - yeah I agree, even if they did confess their love for each other nothing would be easy and happy because of everything that happened and would most likely happen in the future. Glad you liked the twist. Thanks for your review!  
  
Note to all: If you are freaked out by my weird behaviour it's because I had a hyper day, I got a good English grade in my exam so I'm really REALLY happy. But don't think that means I won't write angst cos I will.... you HAVE been warned...  
  
Chapter 11 - Stranger  
  
The sun was fading behind mountains of gold, casting its dying rays across the darkening sky, which gleamed as if it was on fire. A slight breeze whirled amongst the houses, killing the heat and making the temperature more bearable.  
  
It was Meryl who saw the first star gleaming in the sky that evening. Even though it sparkled it was sharp, exactly like the tears in her own flooded eyes. She sniffed a little and wiped a hand across her face to dry any droplets that escaped. She didn't want to cry anymore, she felt drained and tired as it was but still sleep remained a stranger to her. A small sob escaped her throat and she leaned forward to bury her face in her arms.  
  
A gentle breeze stroked through her raven hair as it pooled around her face like ribbons of silk. Her shoulders quivered slightly from holding back tears and every time her heart felt close to shattering completely another sob escaped.  
  
The words of her confession replayed over and over again as if taunting her. She had known he was going to reject her but the pain of it happening was much worse that what she had expected. 'I went about it all wrong' she told herself angrily. The words she had spoken to him had not even been close to what she felt for him. They had covered hardly one percent of her love for him. She wished that she could just rewind time and try again, to speak what her heart so wished to tell him.  
  
She laughed very slightly - a sound that would break the heart of the coldest man -and drew the scene of them standing in the room again. She would look up into his eyes this time and force him to look at her, trap him in her eyes as he had done to her so many times. Maybe she would be daring enough to lay a hand on his arm, it would be shaking with fear but feeling him next to her may have helped. Then carefully she would choose her words and speak them softly and gentle like a romantic song being whispered to a lover.  
  
"Vash if only you knew how much you mean to me, I still cant believe that you haven't noticed the way I save a special smile just for you to see and no one else. These are my little ways of showing I care about you, no Vash it is more than that, my feelings for you have grown beyond work, beyond friendship. I love you with all my heart and I don't want to let you go but I know that I will." She would pause there to make sure that her voice didn't fail her, maybe increase her grip on his arm a little to show him her honesty in the words she spoke and then she would speak again, "Vash I know you don't feel this way about me but I can't go on living this lie and I cant let you go without telling you. So please don't pity me, it's my own fault for falling for you, stay safe and sometimes if your not busy promise you will think about me."  
  
By the end of the re-enactment Meryl was crying again, that was exactly how she wished it could have been and knew that it never could. She had been given one chance at telling him how she felt and had ruined it by her own stupidity and nervousness. 'How will I live without him?' She thought miserably and closed her eyes; more tears streaming down her face.  
  
A little movement from the door attracted her and she sat up to see Ashley sitting curled up by the door, her large eyes filled with sadness. Meryl turned around in her chair and put on a faint smile for the child who instantly burst into tears and ran into Meryl's arms.  
  
The two remained like that for a while, both sobbing for their loss and taking comfort from each other at the same time. Millie too had been standing outside the door but did not dare go in and ruin their moment, she too felt a pang of loss in her heart but to her shame it was not all directed at Vash but mainly to his brother.  
  
Ashley sat back so she could look up at Meryl and wiped some of her tears away before snuggling down into her lap and joining in with the stargazing. For a moment they were silent, content to be close to one another and then Ashley turned and looked up at the insurance girl.  
  
"I'm sorry." Her voice cracked and she turned back to the stars.  
  
"What for Ash?" Meryl whispered affectionately and stroked a loose strand of the child's hair away from her eyes. Ashley felt so much like her own daughter now that she was glad to have her around to ease the pain of losing Vash.  
  
"I didn't stop him from going, I should have done something." She continued  
  
"No, you did fine it's my fault for not telling him sooner or getting my hopes up about it when I knew nothing could happen."  
  
Ashley gave a small sob and cuddled up with her again, she missed Vash almost as much as Meryl did.  
  
"Still, I wish he hadn't gone."  
  
"Me too but it can't be helped, he has always been like that so don't go worrying or blaming yourself. You are too young to be burdened down with things like that." Meryl told her firmly and Ashley nodded and gave her a watery grin.  
  
"That's better." Meryl smiled too and then glanced out of the window just in time to see a star streaming across the sky, its beautiful, dusty tail trailed behind it and suddenly it was gone and the beauty was lost but never forgotten.   
  
***Knives' POV***  
  
We paused to rest at sunset and glanced back at the village that was nothing more but a tiny speck in a huge desert. I have to admit that I was slightly sad at seeing the place disappear, or maybe it was knowing I wouldn't see that human again, either way I could tell by my brother's silence that he was feeling extremely depressed about leaving. It angered me that he was even considering going back to that human woman but I said nothing.  
  
Sitting down against a tall rock for shelter against the biting sand which was carried by the breeze that had stirred I watched Vash flop down opposite me. The sunglasses he wore kept his eyes hidden but I could tell he had tears in them. I can't believe he would cry over a spider!  
  
"Vash." I decided to break this annoying silence, "are we going to be resting the night?"  
  
A nod.  
  
"Alright then." I growled, what was the point of making conversation when he wasn't going to make an effort to answer back! He was wallowing in self-pity, how sickening. So I decided to try again.  
  
"We will continue north until we reach the next village, is that okay with you."  
  
A nod.  
  
"I have a place in mind for where we could go, it doesn't have many humans if any at all." I saw him wince and hoped he would answer.  
  
Another nod.  
  
By this time I was getting pretty pissed off at my pathetic brother, so what if he loved someone? There are plenty of other humans he could use for playthings; they are like a disease...everywhere.   
  
  
  
"If you don't talk to me Vash I'm going to..."  
  
"To what Knives?" He interrupted softly and I saw him wipe away a tear that had escaped and fallen.  
  
"I'll go back and kill those pathetic creatures you call friends." I couldn't help but smile at his expression, he was trying to hide the horror from his face but I could see it and I could sometimes hear an echo of his thoughts of panic and disappointment.  
  
"You would do that?" He looked straight at me now, his face void of expression.  
  
"..." I couldn't answer, I knew my answer would please him...for some reason I didn't actually feel like killing humans anymore. I know I should, but it just seems like all the anger I had trapped inside me has finally seeped away.  
  
"Why didn't you stay with your human?" I decided to change the question and he must have noticed because he smiled slightly.  
  
"Because I want to stay with you Knives."  
  
"Want? Or have to?"  
  
"Both." He answered simply and flopped back against the sand so that his gaze was fixed on the fiery sky.   
  
Drawing in a deep breath I raised my eyes to look at the first appearing stars that gleamed above us, I could tell that Vash was looking at them too and I allowed silence to consume us. Making conversation with my brother when he was in this kind of mood was hopeless.  
  
***Vash's POV***  
  
Looking up at the stars above me brought a strange calm to my otherwise tortured soul. The guilt I had felt seemed to seep away very slowly but still it remained in the back of mind, ready to pounce if I ever forgot or tried to. I couldn't help but wonder how Meryl was getting on and whether she would ever forgive me for acting the way I had.  
  
  
  
I took a little joy in knowing that she was safe and sound now, with Millie and Ashley who had promised me she would take care of her. Maybe one day I could go back and see them, visit the place where they worked and make a surprise visit. I mean we are friends after all and friends do visit each other...okay so I'm an outlaw who everyone believes is evil...and that could be a problem, but no one would have to know who I am and as long as I could see Meryl again and apologise for what I had done it didn't really matter.   
  
A shooting star swept across the sky and I smiled slightly at seeing such a beautiful thing on an otherwise horrible night. Then I removed the sunglasses which I had lifted up slightly and closed my eyes to sleep.  
  
"Meryl..." how I wished I could see her again...  
  
Morning came too quickly for my liking and Knives was impatient to get going, I think he was worried in case I changed my mind and decided to go back to the girls. But I knew I could never do that, they would kill me for making them worry and then returning the next morning expecting breakfast.  
  
Ahh talking about breakfast that reminds me, I have those donuts that Millie gave me! Under the scornful gaze of my brother I ripped open the box and started to gorge down the delicious pastries - lets call it comfort eating okay.  
  
"Vash...did you sleep well?" Knives looked up from where he was sitting, his eyes dull from what appeared to be lack of sleep.  
  
"Fine." I lied and I knew he could tell I was lying from the scorn in his face.  
  
"What I mean was, did you sense that something wasn't quite right?" He continued. I blinked and shrugged but that seemed to aggravate him.  
  
"No." I replied quickly as I stood up and stretched, I had forgotten how horrible it was to sleep out in the desert.   
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Millie looked up as Meryl came down the stairs that morning, she looked like she hadn't slept a wink and it had been the same for her. Millie doubted that anyone had slept at all considering what had happened.   
  
She turned back to the pan where three eggs sizzled noisily as if to break the awkward silence that had filled the house since Vash's departure. The heat had risen to unbearable temperatures that day and even the black cat that usually lazed around on the small porch was huddled in the shade.   
  
Meryl yawned and collapsed on the chair letting her head fall back so that her gaze could go to the ceiling above her.   
  
"Good morning Millie." She whispered hoarsely to her friend as she walked over to sit beside her.   
  
"Hello Meryl how are you this morning?"  
  
"Tired." She replied shortly and let her eyes close again.  
  
"Meryl..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Maybe we should go home now." Millie looked over to her friend hopefully, she had missed her home very much and all their old friends were sure to be happy to see them again.  
  
Meryl sat up a little and looked down at her hands in her lap, she didn't want to stay either if she was true to herself. This house and village held many bad memories for her and she doubted Vash would change his mind and decide to come back to them. She understood why he had to go but still she couldn't help but wonder if maybe one day he would come back. Her mind also kept running through her dream, she knew it meant something and if it was true she didn't want Vash to die.   
  
Standing up suddenly she turned to her friend who was looking at her hopefully. She nodded slightly and smiled, although it hurt to do so.  
  
"We have nothing left for us here Millie, I'll write a letter to the chief and let him know that we are coming home." With that said the raven-haired girl left the room and went upstairs to grab her typewriter.  
  
'Just a quick note to let the chief know why we are returning, that should do it' Meryl thought as she threaded the paper and started typing. As she watched the letters as they were pounded onto the paper with every move of her finger she felt the tear in her heart widen. Having it written down made it so much more real and she had to hold back tears as she finished the final sentence. 'I hope we will be allowed back to work after letting him just walk out,' she thought miserably. Her job was the only thing worth living for now.   
  
"So what's going to happen to me?" Ashley asked from behind Meryl's shoulder.  
  
"We're not going to leave you here if that's what you're thinking. I want you to come with Millie and I. The place we leave in is filled with children and fun things to keep you occupied. I'm sure you will love it."  
  
"So you're taking me!?"  
  
"Of course." Meryl smiled at the child's excitement and watched her dash down the stairs to tell Millie the good news. 'Maybe things wont be so bad.' Meryl thought happily.  
  
On entering the living room she saw that the others were already packed, they never carried many things around with them so it hadn't taken long at all.  
  
"I finished the letter." Meryl held up the envelope so they could see and Millie smiled cheerfully.  
  
"So should we walk home?" Millie asked apprehensively.  
  
"We have enough money to hire a car I think." Meryl replied as she dipped into her pocket and found a few crumpled double dollars.   
  
"Well that's good." Ashley dipped past them and out of the door and glancing back only once before making her way to the car hire building on the outskirts of town.   
  
* * * * * *  
  
From where the sun was rising the stranger could see the great shadows rolling across the sand, the most interesting ones of all were the ones from the two figures who were continuing their journey.   
  
Sitting back against a large boulder the stranger watched with intense eyes that seemed to glow with a blue flame.   
  
"Should I wait to make my move?" The voice sounded strangely female and as the figure stood and moved into the light her feminine form was clearly visible.  
  
  
  
Long lilac hair flowed in the wind revealing her pale yet delicate features to the harsh sunlight. Freckles decorated her cheeks making her look much younger than she actually was. Her eyes were a whirl of purples and blues and as she gazed down at her waiting victims she smiled slightly.  
  
She had been waiting for this moment for a long time now and she wouldn't ruin it by rushing in and making costly mistakes. She would wait until evening and then strike them when they were tired after a days travelling.  
  
"I will avenge them." She whispered again and settled back down to watch them.  
  
***Meryl's POV***  
  
Handing over the money for the car hire I slid into the driver's seat and closed the door and waited for Millie and Ashley to get in. They seemed to be taking far too long for my liking and they had only gone for ice cream. Placing my hands on the steering wheel I gripped it tightly and looked straight ahead into the whirling heat wave of the desert.   
  
As I sat there listening to the sounds of the people in the town I wondered how Vash and Knives were doing and whether they were okay. I couldn't help but worry about them after all that they had been through all ready.   
  
'Don't worry about them.' I looked up, startled at hearing such a quiet voice over the racket in the town. As I glanced around I saw no one who looked like they had spoken to me.  
  
'You wont find me Meryl.'  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
'On the outskirts of town, I'm watching two people you know very well.'  
  
"You can talk telepathically, just like Knives can." I held back my shock and ignored the weird looks I was getting from passers by.   
  
'Yes, I just wanted to let you know that you will not hear from them again.'  
  
"What! Why?"  
  
'You remember that dream don't you?' The voice was so soft, too soft for the male I had seen in the dream.  
  
"Yes, how did you know about that?"  
  
'I was the one who sent it to you.'  
  
"You did, but why?"  
  
'Enough about that, I just want you to understand that I must kill them, if I don't I will never be able to smile again.'  
  
"You were the person in my dream who killed Vash and Knives!"  
  
'That's right, of course I projected a male form to you in that dream.'  
  
"Why?"  
  
'That is not important. What is important is that you move on with your life now, forget about them.' The voice disappeared and I felt strangely alone without her thoughts in my mind.   
  
Then I felt my heart clench in panic, that woman was going to kill the man I love! Looking desperately around for Millie and Ashley I spotted them approaching slowly and yelled at them to hurry. They were in the car seconds later; Ashley sitting in the back and Millie beside me. Both were looking extremely confused.  
  
"Vash and Knives are in trouble!" I blurted out as I started the car and drove out of the town as fast as I dared.   
  
"Wait Meryl, could you explain what is happening?"  
  
"I can't explain it, someone spoke to me, and she said she was going to kill Vash and Knives." I shook my head and hit the accelerator as we reached the dust track, the car bounced violently and dust clouded up into the car momentarily blinding us.   
  
"Maybe you should slow down Meryl." Millie squeaked as she straightened herself in the car seat and looked at me nervously.  
  
Nodding slightly I slowed the car to a decent pace and leaned back in the seat.  
  
"So how do you know where Vash is?" Ashley asked as she leaned forwards to hang between us.  
  
"I don't, all I know is that they walked in this direction and that someone is preparing to kill them...Oh Millie I can't let him die." I held the tears back remarkably well and Millie reached over and laid a hand on my shoulder in attempt to comfort me. I smiled gratefully over at her and spotted Ashley's fearful expression.   
  
"Don't worry, we will find Mr. Vash in time." Millie said cheerfully and relaxed back in her seat. I nodded and turned both eyes to the road ahead.  
  
"You two keep an eye out for anyone even if its Vash or not." They both nodded and I gripped the steering wheel tighter and accelerated the car once more.   
  
I no longer cared that I could annoy Vash by following him but I couldn't let him die, I would rather die myself than let anything bad happen to him. That might sound stupid considering all he has been through in his life but I couldn't bare it if he actually died. I don't know what made me think that this new enemy was capable of it but maybe its because she sounded so confident, maybe I could talk her out of it since she also seemed to have a heart. No totally evil person would have warned friends of what they were doing so they could move on with their life.   
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Vash paused and sat down in the sand, the town shimmered on the horizon only a few iles away but it still looked a long, long way to the two tired brothers who had been travelling all day. They had paused to rest in the shade of some strange looking rocks that stuck out of the sand like giant claws.  
  
The sun still continued to beat down relentlessly upon them and their water was starting to run short. The blistering suns seemed twice their usual size and the shadows were quickly being destroyed in their greedy rays.  
  
Knives stood up and brought a hand just above his eyes so he could glance down at the village, which sparked on the horizon. His desperation to reach it made him forget all bad things about the humans. Leaning back he glanced at the cloudless sky and sighed miserably.  
  
  
  
"We didn't pick a very good time to leave them did we." He complained miserably.  
  
"I guess not." Vash drew in a long breath and coughed slightly from the dust that had gathered in his lungs. "We're not far now, lets get moving." He stretched again and felt the scream of complaint in his muscles.  
  
Suddenly a bitter wind rose up from seemingly nowhere and with it was carried a soft laugh like the trickling of a stream and turning to look up at the peaks of the rocks where they had been sheltering they saw her. A woman with long hair glimmering like fresh ice in the sunlight and eyes like deep pools of water stood on the edge of the rock. Her garments were simple, a short blue top with long, wide sleeves hemmed with delicate lace. Her skirt was long and made of a fine silk so that the slightest breeze made it flutter like a butterfly's wings.  
  
Yet beneath all that beauty Vash could tell she wasn't here just to seduce them, he could see in her eyes the hardening of anger and hate and he also sensed a great power within her. Knives took a step back as he sensed her negative emotions directed at them and glared at his brother questioningly.  
  
"Hey don't look at me I don't know her!" He waved his hands in surrender and backed away from his brother's cold glare.  
  
"No, he doesn't know me Knives." The woman interrupted as she jumped from the rock and landed daintily on her feet. Her face was emotionless and her large enchanting eyes hovered over them briefly. "But you know me don't you Knives." She continued in her whispery voice.  
  
Vash's mouth hung open in disbelief and he turned to his brother, aqua eyes widening at Knives's uncomfortable expression.  
  
"I never knew you had it in you." Vash stifled a laugh as he noticed the tension and straightened so he could glance back at the stranger. It was then that he realised this girl was no ordinary person, this girl had an aura unlike any human he had seen.  
  
"I would hope that you would remember me dear Knives." She continued and strode over to stand opposite him her eyes harsh and unkind.  
  
"Maybe I do, maybe I don't" He replied, narrowing his eyes to glare at her.  
  
"Well let me enlighten you my dear Knives, one day a cold hearted plant creature came wondering into a town, his heart set on killing and destruction. No one understood him and why he had such a contagious hate buried in his black heart. Maybe it was loneliness from being deserted by his kin or maybe it was just his nature to cause pain to others." Her tone was slow and mocking and Vash noticed his brother trembling with rage.  
  
"Shut up!" Knives screamed at her.  
  
"Well the reason for his evil doesn't matter really, he destroyed the town and everyone inside it in only a few moments and as he was savouring his sweet victory he spotted movement under the debris of a house." She strode past him and Vash caught the glint of a sword strapped at her side.  
  
"I said be quiet!" Knives hissed and tried to strike the strange woman who simply dodged his fist and continued circling him like a stalking lioness.   
  
"On seeing that someone had escaped his wrath the black-hearted man approached and grabbed the living human from the debris. Seeing that she was badly hurt he found himself impressed by the child's will to survive - for that was all she was - a little girl. He took her and told her that her family was dead that she might as well join them but when she refused he found himself intrigued by her spirit. So instead he took her away and even though she cried he ignored her and took her to a place she had never seen before."  
  
Here the woman paused, tears now shimmering in her once emotionless eyes and Vash found himself wanting to comfort her. He still wasn't sure who she was and why she was here telling Knives this story when it suddenly hit him. 'Knives was the one who found that child and that child was this woman!'  
  
"And in the night he changed her into a demon and left her to fend for herself." Her voice was louder now and boomed like thunder in their ears. "The cold man left her alone for a year and then when he returned he found her gone. Filled with anger that the girl had gone against his orders to stay he went in search of her. It did not take him long and he was infuriated by the sight that he saw, the girl he had turned into one of his kin had betrayed him and had gone to live with humans."  
  
"You're a plant?" Vash interrupted.  
  
"I am." She declined her head sadly and turned back to face Knives who was by now, seething with anger.   
  
The woman laid her hand on the hilt of her sword and drew in a deep breath. "I have come to take revenge on my family, the ones you murdered that day Knives. You shall die as they did and I shall finally be at peace." She tightened her grip on the sword and Vash dived forward just in time to catch her hand before she unsheathed the weapon.   
  
"What do you think you are doing?" She snarled viciously and tugged free from his grip. "You want to protect that murderer and get in the way of justice?" Her eyes sparked with fury.  
  
"He is my brother." Vash spoke softly and she nodded.  
  
"I thought as much, you would defend him even after all the pain he caused you. Well I'm afraid that if you stick up for him you must die too."  
  
  
  
"What makes you think you can kill us?" Knives snarled and the woman simply laughed and brushed her hair over her shoulder.  
  
"You are both tired out from travelling that's what." She laughed almost sweetly and took a step towards them holding out the glimmering blade so that it blinded them.   
  
"Oh and don't worry about Meryl and the others." She added sweetly. "I have told Meryl that she will not hear from you again, she took it quite well considering." She smiled at Vash's horrified expression and sighed melodramatically. "You shouldn't have left her Mr. Stampede." She wagged a finger at him and with one swift motion cracked Knives behind the knees to knock him to the sand.  
  
***Vash's POV***  
  
She knocked my brother down so easily that I realised that we were in trouble, this wasn't just like fighting some normal bounty hunter, she was a plant! Okay so Knives changed her into one - and I'm still a little confused about how - but she was just as powerful and if I didn't somehow talk her out of it she will kill him and me as well.   
  
I was also a little confused about how she knew Meryl and I hoped that she wouldn't be in danger after all of this. It just didn't make sense that after all this time this stranger would appear from nowhere.  
  
Snapping back to reality I saw that she was already winning over my brother, she had the tip of the blade pressed to his throat and whispering something that I couldn't quite hear.  
  
"STOP IT!" I yelled and drew my gun shooting at the sword so that it moved away from my brother. She looked up angrily and I saw the blood slither down the blade. Angrily she kicked my brother in the side causing him to splutter and roll over in the sand. I knew how much he hated pain and guessed that he was probably thinking of ways to kill this stranger.   
  
"Listen umm whoever you are, can't we just talk this over?" I grinned and she blinked in surprise, obviously I was not what she had expected.  
  
"My name is Violet, and I'm surprised that someone with a reputation such as yours would want to just talk."   
  
"Well you shouldn't listen to all the rumours about him." Knives growled as he sat up and wiped the blood from his chin. I grinned sheepishly and laughed but realised that she was not amused.  
  
She swung for Knives again and he barely managed to dodge the lethal blade, sand billowed up around us and suddenly I heard the roaring of a car. I tried to turn and see who it was when my brother cried out in pain. Forgetting everything else I dashed forwards blindly to find Violet leaning over Knives with the sword buried into the flesh of his shoulder, blood pooled around on the sand beneath him.  
  
I dashed forward and knocked her aside to the ground ignoring her angry scream and kneeling down beside my brother who was writhing in pain and clinging to his wound. My heart clenched in panic as I pressed my hand against the gaping wound to stop the flow of blood when I heard a sound behind me. Turning back I saw Violet, her eyes flaming with anger at being knocked away at the most vital moment. I could tell she was set on killing and I knew I couldn't protect my brother, her and myself at the same time.  
  
She lunged again and caught my arm as I dodged sideways, the blood sprayed up into the air and I let out a sharp gasp of pain. I knew that I couldn't hurt her, she had reason enough to be angry and there was nothing I could say that would make her feel better. It was yet another situation that I had no idea of how to get out of.  
  
I leaned back and watched the sun glint white fire off of the blade as she loomed over us.  
  
"P-please don't do this." I choked.  
  
"Begging for your life?"  
  
"No, but killing us wont bring back your family."  
  
"How dare you say that?!" She screamed and brought back the sword to strike. I closed my eyes and waited for the lethal wound that would soon be inflicted on me. I heard sounds, people running and felt my brother tense beside me. It was only when I heard a pained gasp that I opened my eyes.   
  
For a moment I thought I had gone blind when I realised that something was blocking my view of the woman who had been ready to kill just moments before. Then my heart faltered and ran cold as I realised the something was actually a someone - a someone I knew all too well.  
  
I opened my mouth to call out to her when I realised that she had been stabbed lethally. I opened my arms just in time to catch her as she fell back and her head hit my chest lightly. Her eyes were still open but I could see the life rushing from them as the violet gave in to lifeless gray.   
  
"Meryl..."  
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Vash ignored the pain in his arm and the blood, which flowed from the open wound as he cradled the dying woman in his arms. The blood from her horrific wound pooled around her body and stained her clothes badly; Vash too became soaked in it. He never would have believed that she had so much blood inside her and he was pretty sure she had lost too much already.  
  
She smiled faintly and drew in a ragged breath, her eyes sparkling slightly with joy at seeing him for one last time. His tears rained down on her face and joined with her own tears and blood.  
  
Vash was only barely aware of Millie and Ashley who were now approaching them and Knives who was sat like a statue not too far away. Violet did not even enter his mind as he held the precious woman tighter in his arms.  
  
"Why?" He whispered, his voice hoarse with grief and sand.  
  
"B-because...I wanted to." She smiled and choked, a little blood spilling from her mouth and trickling down her chin.  
  
"Please don't leave me!" He begged and she shook her head slowly and forced her eyes to stay open.  
  
"I'll always be with you Vash..." She drew in another ragged breath and her face creased in pain and she groped for the wound in her stomach to try and ease the torture in her body.  
  
"I'm sorry." He whispered and pressed his hand over hers.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For being a jerk." He held her tighter as he felt a wave of pain shoot through her. She smiled a little and sighed as she realised that this was the best way to go. Dying in the arms of the man she adored, it was better than any other way she could imagine.   
  
She reached up a hand to stroke away his hair that blocked her view of his eyes and felt suddenly lighter; he caught her hand and held it gently for a moment.  
  
"Meryl I have to tell you something." His voice was almost a whisper and she nodded and closed her eyes, to weak to keep them open.   
  
But Vash never got to finish his sentence as Meryl had fallen limp in his arms and it was only then that he became aware of Millie and Ashley who were crying softly as they looked on. Violet too had eyes filled with tears and was shaking violently; the sword had long dropped from her grip and was lying on the ground.  
  
"This was not supposed to happen!" She yelled. "No more humans were supposed to die by the hands of a plant!" She fell to her knees in the dust and Vash buried his face in the lifeless woman's hair, breathing in her familiar, comforting scent. The pain in his heart was too great and the feeling that she had lost her life to save him made it all the worse.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Sooo...anyone want a tissue?  
  
Okay you may have noticed a drop of quality in my writing, it's because I wrote this chapter all at once with hardly a break and towards the end was just desperate to finish. I did warn you that I was going to write an angst chapter.   
  
So is Meryl really dead?  
  
Will Knives be a good guy from now on?  
  
Can Vash cry himself a river so that the water problem will be fixed on gunsmoke?  
  
Will that cute black cat ever get a decent part in my fic?  
  
Will these questions be answered in my next chapter? ...Possibly not.  
  
Okay I'm shutting up now so plz review for me *puppy eyes O.O* thankies and goodbye for now. 'Love and Peace!' 


	12. Breathe

Disclaimer: NO...I don't own Trigun.  
  
  
  
Hello again...okay first of all I apologise for the delay, but after the cliff hanger I left I really had no idea where to go from there, its my own fault for leaving such a cliffy. The main problem I had was trying to find a solution, which would make everyone happy... (I think I failed on that) So once again I'll thank my lovely reviewers.  
  
Snapdragon76: *hugs and hands more tissues* aww don't worry things will get better I promise...hopefully. Thanks for the review!  
  
Pammi: ...O.O are you a mind reader? Your review was scary, maybe we thought alike cos we were both hyper. Yay! Anyway you'll have to read on to find out what I mean. Thanks for your review and sorry for the cliffy.  
  
Blu and TK: Here's your update, sorry it wasn't out sooner, and I didn't mean to make you mad, well actually I knew people would kill me for that but if I kept writing the end part would have sucked big time...so plz forgive me *puppy eyes* thanks for your review!  
  
Nekokito - *wipes away a tear*I'm so glad you are enjoying this, it makes me really happy when I get sweet reviews like yours. Thanks sooo much and here is your update.  
  
Silverado6000 - wow a long review so you'll get a long reply...here goes: okay after seeing you mention about the few mistakes I read through and whoa did I ever, I hate the "to" and "too" mistakes *hits head against a brick wall* ahh stupid me. I'm also glad you liked my character, I tried to make her a little more interesting, at first I was gonna make Violet's character male but then I thought 'what the hell lets make the evil person female' so the result was Violet. I'm glad you liked my POV's I tried hard on them, I have to admit I found the last chapter difficult to write. I haven't written many action scenes before so it was my first proper one. I'm so glad you liked the end of my chapter, I thought some people might notice the drop in quality but at least I know someone liked it ^.^ Okay now onto the more serious part of your review, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the next chapter and what I should do with the situation with Meryl. I can see exactly where you are coming from by making it a tragedy and it would give more depth. Finally I decided what to do. I hope you will like what I decided to do in this chapter and I will write an alternative ending just for you seeing as you have been reviewing my fic so well. I'll email it to you or something as soon as it is done. Thanks so much for your wonderful review and I hope you enjoy this next chappie...hope I haven't said that to you already ^-^'  
  
Happyjack - Okay another long review, so expect a long answer. Glad you liked the hug...I'm always like that when I'm hyper, just ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I'm crazy...right anyway...I see where you are coming from with the death thing, and to be honest that never crossed my mind, the reasoning for me giving Violet a sword was because everyone in Trigun seems to have a gun so I thought I would be different. I'm glad you liked the portrayal of Meryl's character, I have tried to keep her as the strong person she is in the anime, I can just visualize her getting through anything that life throws at her, well that's my opinion anyway, and that is what I wanted to show in this fic. YES...yes! you are so right about Vash getting angry so I might start off this chapter with Vash loosing it. Well anyway here is your update and I hope you like what I decided to do and thanks for your review.  
  
Rainy-days13 - ahh I'm evil oh no!!! o wait...I killed Meryl. I guess that does qualify me as evil. Woo hoo! Anyway thanks for your review...I think ^-^' and I hope you like this chapter better.  
  
Chibi Chibi - Well I promise that I won't make you cry again...do I? Yes I won't make you cry again, but just in case here are some tissues ^-^ hope you like this chapter and thanks for your review.  
  
Darkraven - Wow I'm making so many people cry *kicks self* here is another tissue and you'll have to read on to find out what happens. No sneak previews for you, *sticks out tongue* nerr!  
  
Xim_chan - aww your review was very sweet *hugs* thank you and here is the chapter you have been waiting for.  
  
Neptune Butterfly - Ahh *hides from Kuroneko-sama* plzdonthurtme! Oh wait you're not after me, thank goodness for that ^-^. Ahh sounds like you're having computer problems too, I always have problems with mine, but lately it has been good *pets computer* good computer good! @.@ Ahh don't cry! I promise things will get better!! Thankies for your review!  
  
Dustdragon - *checks list above* nope you never reviewed before! Let's hope your suspicions are right then huh dusty! Thanks for your review.  
  
Wow that took a while but it was worth it, okay now on to the chapter, you may have to bear with me on this one cos I'm not yet sure what I'm going to do @.@ here goes...  
  
Chapter 12 - Breathe  
  
***Vash's POV***  
  
I knelt over her, my body trembling with grief...with rage. I tried to calm my mind, which was now racing at such a speed I thought that I might die as well. Drawing in a shaky breath I glared up at the woman who had taken Meryl from me! That bitch had just jumped to conclusions, killed the one most beautiful, innocent and sweetest person I had ever met in my life - even more so than Rem! Would it be wrong now to take revenge? Would it be wrong to kill her? And even if it was, did I really care?  
  
Laying my raven-haired angel on the ground I stood, my knees felt strangely weak and my hands shook so much I didn't think I would be able to hold my gun. A few seconds later I felt the cool, heavy weapon in my hand and raised it up to aim for the woman who had killed Meryl! She was really dead! I would never hear her voice again, shouting at me for being an idiot or telling me she loved me...never feel her sweet punches as they struck...never see those small smiles that she sometimes showed when she thought no one noticed. But I noticed them, and I would never forget them.  
  
I steadied my hand and looked the woman straight in the eye, they were dull as if belonging to someone who was already dead and I increased the pressure on the trigger. An image of Rem flashed before my eyes but I ignored her, for the first time in my life I didn't care! Meryl...Meryl was gone.  
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Through her tears Millie could see Vash, his aim true and steady. She knew she should stop him but couldn't bring herself to do it; instead she rushed to Knives' side and helped him stand. Surprisingly he didn't even attempt to shake her off and she slipped her arms tighter around him in a gentle hug.   
  
He wiped away the blood from where the sword had caught him and looked up at Millie with intense blue eyes. In them she saw something that she had never seen before, a sense of guilt and fear whirled inside of them and she tightened her grip in attempt to comfort him.   
  
"You...you have to stop him." He murmured.  
  
"Wha-what?" She looked at him with a confused look on her face.  
  
"If he kills her...he will never forgive himself." He winced slightly. Millie could not believe what she was hearing; Knives actually cared about his brother!   
  
"Okay, but you stay here and rest Mr. Knives." She patted his shoulder gently and approached Vash who was standing frozen in one spot. She could see the tears that streamed down his face and his trembling body, 'he really did love her' she realised sadly and continued her slow path towards him.  
  
Reaching out a hand to him she wondered if he even knew she was even there beside him, what if she startled him and he pressed the trigger? She paused and called to him softly, hoping that he would realise who she was, the cold look in his eyes was so strange and slightly unnerving but she knew it was the same Vash inside.   
  
"Mr. Vash..." She called out gently, "Come on now, you can't kill her, it was a mistake."  
  
"A mistake that killed Meryl!" He yelled, a horrific rage building in his eyes.  
  
"Yes, but can't you see how sorry she is, and you heard Meryl...she will always be with you..." She sniffed back tears and forced a sad smile.  
  
"It's not the same! She killed her, she killed Meryl." He dropped his head as the sobs bubbled up in his throat but kept his hand steady.   
  
"Mr. Vash, no good can come of this. Meryl wouldn't want this." She took another small step forwards and at that moment Vash crumbled to his knees, the sobs racking his body.   
  
Millie dived forwards and wrapped her arms around his shoulders to try and help ease the pain that was radiating from him like heat from the suns.   
  
"I never got to tell her..." He whispered and she nodded, she knew what he meant and she wished that Meryl had stayed conscious just long enough to hear the confession she knew the short girl had wanted to hear.   
  
"It's okay, I'm sure she knew." She comforted.  
  
"No, I was so horrible to her! Now I can't say how sorry I am." He shuddered.  
  
  
  
Ashley who was watching the scene in horror noticed the lilac haired woman and carefully approached her. The woman looked down at the child and their eyes locked, there was no need for words between them but Ashley knew she had to ask, if not for Vash's sake for Meryl's.  
  
"Is there nothing you can do to help her?"  
  
The question hung in the air and Violet's pale face travelled back to where the poor woman lay. Distant memories of this happening before flooded into her mind and brought tears to her eyes and she nodded slightly.  
  
"There may be something, but there will be circumstances that will affect her."  
  
"And what are they?"  
  
"When Knives came and destroyed my second family my little brother was injured and dying. I used my energy to heal him, but the energy used is from the plant side, now my brother ages slower and he can use telepathy. The problem is that by using my energy to heal I become weak and if I heal the girl who is already in the clutches of death, I will most likely die."   
  
"So you are saying that if you heal Meryl she will become a plant as well?!" Ashley half yelled.  
  
"Yes, and because I will have to use so much energy to bring her back she will be more plant than human. I'm not sure whether she would want to be brought back if that was the case."  
  
"You must bring her back!" Ashley demanded and Violet nodded.  
  
Violet was aware of Knives' glare and how it burned into her as she approached the lifeless girl who lay on the sand just a few meters away. Gently she lifted Meryl up so her head and shoulders rested in her lap and cradled her with a gossamer touch. With a murmur of apologies to the unknowing woman before her she spread one palm over Meryl's silent heart and placed the other palm on her own beating one.   
  
She raised her head to glance around her as if knowing she would never see this blistering hot planet again. She caught Knives' glare and their eyes locked, refusing to let go. In them she could see an unspoken apology and she knew the man she was looking at was not the same fiend of all those years ago. Finally her vengeful thoughts were quenched and she broke their gaze to look upon the broken man who knelt in the sand. She had hurt him so badly and if it meant she would have to die to make him happy she did not mind. It was the least she could do, her powers would finally come in use for something other than seeking revenge.   
  
Closing her eyes she concentrated on the task ahead and heard a faint gasp from the child watching. Ashley's eyes widened in shock and stepped back in fear; the lilac haired woman seemed to be glowing with a deep inner light that resonated from her like moonbeams.   
  
Vash glanced up from where he was kneeling in the sand - Millie's arms still around him in a gentle embrace - and spotted the strange light from where Meryl was lying. He tensed in anger and broke away from Millie who blinked in confusion.  
  
"Mr. Vash..." She started until she spotted the light that was flowing from the strange woman and Meryl.   
  
***Knives's POV***  
  
From where I was I could see clearly what was happening. I knew now that I had been right to choose Violet to be one of my slaves, she was strong...maybe a little too strong, but she was proof of my good judgement.   
  
Leaning against the car I watched the girl lean over Vash's woman and narrowed my eyes, I doubted that she could help her but it still interested me on how she planned to heal the spider. So when the plant energy started to glow inside of her, I must say that I was surprised. She could control her energy extremely well for such an annoying half-breed. Even more annoying was that it was working and I could already feel the life force of Vash's woman start to rise again.   
  
Suddenly Vash noticed what was going on, or rather he didn't know at all what that Violet woman was doing.   
  
"Vash!" I yelled and he turned to look at me, he looked absolutely pitiful with his eyes full of tears. I can't believe he is related to me! "Don't go near them, that woman is trying to revive her!" I practically screamed at him and smirked at seeing him flinch.   
  
Suddenly Violet let out a strangled cry and her head drooped forwards slightly, her eyes fading quickly as the glow of energy began to leave her. I knew she didn't have long left to live at this rate and diverted my gaze towards more interesting things, Millie for example.   
  
She was the strangest human I had ever met, naïve and yet wise at the same time. She confused me totally, but I don't know why. She stood watching Vash who was standing like a wide-eyed statue, her usually vibrant blue eyes wobbling behind swirling pools of tears. I had the strangest urge to go and comfort her, say something to bring that smile back to her face.   
  
It was another cry of pain that snapped me from my trance and I turned my angle of gaze to where the Violet woman was.  
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Violet snatched her hand away from the girl before her and stumbled back, her breath was harsh and painful. Struggling to keep her eyes open she fell on the sand with a loud thud and glanced up at the sky. She had never seen such a beautiful, blue sky before, or maybe it was because she had never taken the time to look. She had always believed that the planet they lived on was an awful place, but now in the clutches of death she could finally see the beauty. Sighing she forced herself up on her elbows and dragged her eyes open, a small smile playing on her lips at seeing Vash leaning over the woman he loved. She hoped her energy had been enough and finally let herself fall into unconsciousness.  
  
Vash pulled Meryl up into his arms and cradled her gently still not daring to hope in case Knives had been mistaken. It was only when he saw the slight rise of her chest as she drew in a small breath that he felt his heart come alive again. A tear trembled down his face and landed on her forehead, which he quickly wiped away before pulling her further into his arms and lifting her up.   
  
"Is she alright?" Ashley asked as she ran over to his side and glanced up at them with large eyes. Vash nodded and looked over his shoulder to Millie who was kneeling beside Violet.  
  
"Millie..." Vash started but was interrupted by his brother.  
  
"Millie, you drive Vash and the other two home, I will care for the girl." His tone was surprisingly gentle and gained strange looks from everyone.   
  
The tall girl nodded slightly and walked past him to get into the drivers seat. Ashley jumped into the passenger seat beside her so that Vash and Meryl could sit in the back together.   
  
Vash was careful to make sure that Meryl was comfortable before checking her wound that was now almost completely healed. He ran his fingers through her raven hair and buried his face into her neck. He was still concerned that she might die even after having the energy transported into her, he wasn't even sure whether Meryl would want to live as a plant...would she hate him for bringing her back?  
  
More tears built up in his eyes and he held her tighter against him, her soft breath tickling his ear. He drew in a deep breath as he felt her move slightly in his arms and nuzzled his face against her neck. "I love you..." he whispered gently, hoping that she would be able to hear him.   
  
Millie glanced sideways to where Ashley had fallen asleep, curled up on her side like a kitten. Then she angled her head back to see Vash and Meryl curled up together, the short girl snuggled against his chest from her place on his lap. Vash's face was hidden against her neck but the way his shoulders trembled slightly gave away the sobs he was trying to hold back.   
  
She turned back to face the desert ahead and hoped they would get back soon, she also hoped that Knives would come back to them, she didn't know what it was, but for some reason she wanted him to be with her. She wondered whether these feeling she felt for him might be something deeper than just friendship...she hoped not.   
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Vash watched over Meryl as the town doctor leaned over to examine the unconscious girl. She straightened and glanced over at the nervous looking man.   
  
"She hasn't had much luck lately has she." She smiled gently and pulled the blankets up around her shoulders. "She seems to be fine, she just needs rest." She glanced at him severely before turning and leaving the room.  
  
Letting out his held breath Vash went to sit beside the bed and reached over to stroke the hair away from Meryl's eyes. Her face was pale and her breathing was shallow but even, and for him that was enough. He was so engrossed in looking at her that he didn't even notice Ashley creeping into the room until she tapped him on the shoulder. He looked at her and forced a smile onto his face, she ducked her head in embarrassment.   
  
"Vash..." She trailed off.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"She will get better, wont she?" Her voice was desperate.  
  
"Of course, Meryl is strong." He said but his voice quaked in fear. He had no idea what he would do if Meryl didn't survive this ordeal...would he be able to live without her?  
  
Ashley clambered up into his lap and peered at Meryl's sleeping form before snuggling back against Vash's chest. "Yes she is strong." She nodded confidently and he found himself strengthened by her remark.  
  
"Is Millie okay?" He asked, trying to change the subject.  
  
"Yes, she seems to be, I think she is worried about Knives though."  
  
"Yeah...maybe he has changed."  
  
"I don't think you need to worry about him hurting anyone, he seems quite nice to me." Ashley told him. "I think Millie is more concerned about whether he is coming back or not."  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Vash raised an eyebrow curiously.  
  
"Oh...nothing." Ashley laughed nervously and slipped away from him before heading for the door. "I'm hungry so I'll see you later." She gave him a small wave before darting out of the door.   
  
Vash turned his gaze back to the woman in front of him and reached out to clasp her hand in his own, lacing his fingers with hers. He hoped with all his heart that she would forgive him for being so cruel, considering he hated to hurt people he had done a pretty good job of hurting her without even trying.   
  
He leaned forwards to rest his head on the side of the bed and closed his eyes, he could not believe that Meryl had died trying to save him...or at least almost died. Did she really love him that much to give up everything just to keep him alive? A few more tears slithered down his face and landed on the bed before he finally fell asleep, his hand still entwined with Meryl's smaller one.   
  
***Violet's POV***  
  
I was too weak to even move let alone speak so I couldn't tell Knives to just leave me alone, he must have known that I didn't want him around though as he made sure not to do or say anything to me. For a long time he just sat beside me as if contemplating what to do next, I wondered why he had even decided to stay behind in the first place; surely he would have preferred to leave me here to die.  
  
I let my head fall to the side so I could get a better view of him; he was sitting slumped up against a rock with his head lowered against his chest. For a while I thought that maybe he had fallen asleep or fainted due to the heat but suddenly his head snapped up and his eyes caught mine.  
  
"So..." He began, "I'm waiting to hear an explanation."  
  
'An explanation of what?' I thought, 'he must know that I can hardly speak.' I frowned and coughed violently.   
  
"Why did you decide to show up after all this time?" He scowled and I shook my head slowly.  
  
"I...had to...wait." I tried to clear my throat and speak again when he stood up and walked over to me.  
  
"Don't get me wrong, the only reason I am helping you is because you made my brother happy, otherwise I would have finished you off."   
  
"I don't...doubt it." I forced a smile and winced.   
  
"I'm going to take you home." He informed me before lifting me up into his arms as easy as if he was lifting a doll.   
  
My eyes closed but I didn't want to fall asleep, I was afraid that if I did I would die in the arms of the man I had hated for so long. I never would have thought that Knives was capable of caring and even if it wasn't out of affection for me it was out of affection for his brother.   
  
"How...do..."  
  
"You live with that brother or yours, don't you?" Knives interrupted and I nodded lightly. "Well, I'm taking you to him. He can care for you."  
  
"I'm...dying." I forced my eyes open and met the scorn and disgust on my face.  
  
"Giving up so easily?" He snapped.   
  
I didn't answer him, instead I let him carry me until my eyes grew heavier and heavier, urging me into sleep.   
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Meryl opened her eyes very slowly, they felt like stone and the only sight that greeted her was a giant white blur. She tried to move but found that the rest of her body felt like rock so simply waited for her vision to clear. She felt so strange, like she was floating but still being kept down by gravity and her head span so violently that she thought she was going to be sick.  
  
She tried to remember what had happened to her but couldn't, every time she found the memory it slipped away from her grasp and teased her until she grew angry. She had no idea where she was or what had happened to her since being asleep.   
  
She tried to speak but her throat felt thick and unusable and left her lying in the silence of the blurred room. She felt like she should be dead.  
  
It was only when she felt something move against her hand that she knew she was still alive. She tried to move her own hand and managed to wiggle her fingertips very slightly before pain shot up her arm and causing a gasp to bubble and catch in her throat.  
  
Meryl lay completely still until she began to get the feeling back into her limbs once more and her double vision melded into one. She drew in a breath and let her head roll to the side. Her heart stopped.  
  
She wondered whether maybe she was lying in a dream, for there next to her was Vash, his head rested against the bed and his face turned towards her - completely relaxed in sleep. She felt a smile twitch at her lips and lifted a hand to stroke the golden stands of hair away from his eyes.   
  
'He left with his brother, but now he's here with me...' she couldn't think why he would suddenly return to her, maybe he was reconsidering her confession. Maybe he had decided that maybe he could fall in love with her, or maybe he had returned because he pitied her. She was so confused but it didn't stop her from enjoying the moment.  
  
Ignoring the ache in her arm she continued to stroke her fingers through his unruly mop of golden hair. It was softer than she thought possible and she felt tears gathering in her eyes. It was only when she felt him shift under her gossamer touch that she snatched her hand away and swore as the pain returned to her muscles.   
  
He sat up and his eyes widened at seeing a pair of violet eyes looking back at him. Then he looked down at their linked hands and blushed violently before untangling his fingers from hers and pulling away.  
  
'So that's why I found it so hard to move my other hand' she thought happily and continued to look at him.  
  
"So you're awake." He laughed nervously.  
  
"Why are you back...what happened to me?" She finally managed to find her voice.  
  
"What...you don't remember?" She noticed that he grew even more nervous and her heart shuddered in growing suspense.  
  
"N-no...what happened?" Her tone was bordering on fear.  
  
"Hey it doesn't matter right now, just get some rest okay." He smiled softly and stood up.  
  
"No, you tell me now!" She yelled and he tried to quieten her.   
  
"Fine...but don't hurt me when you find out okay."  
  
"Idiot." She breathed.  
  
"Well, uhh...you kind of got hurt...well actually...you died." He gave her a stupid grin, which faltered at the sight of her terror-stricken face.  
  
"I...I remember." The memory, which had up till now evaded her now finally settled in her grasp and she remembered everything. She tried to sit up but was rewarded with striking pain in her body and was forced to remain still.   
  
"I'm sorry." Vash whispered.  
  
"So why am I still alive?" She choked, her voice barely audible.  
  
"The woman who hurt you, she was a plant...she used her energy to cure you."  
  
"And where is she now?"  
  
"With my brother." He leaned closer and lifter her small hand into his own once more. "Meryl..."  
  
  
  
She swallowed nervously and forced herself to meet his gaze, she found no comfort in them - only a deep grief - and her heart beat cold.   
  
"The energy she used to revive you, well...you are no longer...you are more plant than you are human."  
  
"Like...you." Meryl whispered and clung to his hand as if he would slip away from her.  
  
"Yes, please forgive me." He was crying now but desperately trying to hide it from her.  
  
"I should have known you wouldn't have let me die without a fight." She forced a smile even though on the inside she felt confused and like a total stranger. She no longer knew herself; she had woken up to find that she wasn't even the same species anymore.  
  
"Well actually it was Ashley's idea." Vash admitted.  
  
"Oh." Meryl found herself slightly disappointed that it hadn't been him fighting to save her.  
  
"Meryl..."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I need to tell you something, because if I don't then I will regret it for the rest of my life." Their eyes met again.  
  
"Okay, I'm listening." She nodded slightly and squeezed his hand.  
  
"I tired to tell you when you were hurt...but you had already fallen unconscious." He drew in a deep breath and tried to stay calm, he had never said this to anyone before, and he had never realised how hard these words were to say. 'Breathe' he reminded himself and drew closer to her.  
  
  
  
"I love you." There he had finally said it.   
  
She stared silently at him, her eyes clouded over and tears building inside of them. She shook her head slowly and tugged her hand out of his grip.   
  
"You are only saying that because you feel guilty, and now that I have turned into this plant thing you feel like you have a responsibility to look after me." Her eyes burned in rage but also with a deep anguish.  
  
"No you have it all wrong." His voice was desperate now and he reached out for her hand again. "I promise Meryl, I have felt this way about you for ages, I was just scared and...and I knew I would be leaving and I didn't want to hurt you. But I failed and you got hurt badly and I was so selfish...can you ever forgive me?" His eyes were whirling pools of tears now and he seemed to look deep down into her soul for the answers.  
  
"I don't know if I can believe you." She murmured softly.  
  
"Then how can I prove it? I'll do anything, just say the word and it's yours." He was begging with her and she shrugged slightly.   
  
"I don't want anything." She replied and closed her eyes slowly.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Knives finally found the small house where Violet and her brother had been staying in. He had thought that maybe he had been mistaken and he had gone in the wrong direction, but once again he had been right.  
  
She was dying and he knew that all too well, but he would not let her die alone with people she didn't even know. Maybe it was because he felt he had to make up for what had happened in the past or maybe it was because he actually wanted to...either way he didn't care.  
  
She shifted slightly in his grip and her eyes opened, it scared him to see how much death lingered inside of them.   
  
"We're almost there." He told her sharply and increased his step...she didn't have long left.   
  
The small house they were approaching seemed to be nothing more than a tatty little building but Knives knew it had to be the right one, and walking quicker still, he made his way up to the small house.  
  
"Hey! Is anyone in there?" He yelled as he pushed the door open and peered into the one-roomed house.   
  
"Who's there?" Someone called out from inside.  
  
"I brought back your sister, she is dying." Knives informed coldly and laid her down on the ground.  
  
A boy maybe a few years younger than Violet scampered over to her and Knives stood for a moment, watching him cry over her. The girl was too far gone to be helped, Knives knew that better than anyone but he remained until the very end.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Umm yeah...no comment...if it is any excuse I have been preparing for exams for a few weeks so my creativity isn't what it used to be...  
  
I'll let you make up your own minds about this chapter.  
  
So please review for me.   
  
'Love and Peace' 


	13. Guilt

Disclaimer: No I don't own Trigun  
  
Note: Hello everyone, just a short note this time, this next chapter is going to be in two parts, this half will be concentrating on Meryl and Vash and their relationship. Then the second part will be concentrating on Millie and Knives. So once again I will thank all my wonderful reviewers:  
  
Snapdragon76 - Yay I'm glad you liked the last chapter; I wasn't really sure how people would find it. Thanks for your review and definitely go with the Kleenex feeling.  
  
Pammi - I'm glad you are so understanding and yes there will be some Millie/Knives coming soon so don't worry. Thanks for your review.  
  
Blue and TK - Your review made me laugh and I'm glad Wolfwood comes in handy sometimes lol. Thanks again for your cool review.  
  
Kentai - Glad you like my fan fic and I hope you will continue reading, here is your update and thanks for your review.  
  
Chibi Chibi - I'm sorry for the long wait but here is your update and I'm glad you liked my decision bout bringing Meryl back. Thanks for your review.  
  
Xim_chan - Thank you for such a sweet review, it means a lot to me that people are enjoying my fics and it does wonders for my confidence. So thanks again and I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
  
Silverado - wow two reviews from you ^_^ I'm happy now. Okay first off I'm glad that my writing was good last time, I do check through my chapters every time but I probably misread stuff or when I add things to make it more detailed it probably happens then so I'll make sure to be more careful. I knew that my fic was probably a bit predictable but I just couldn't bring myself to kill one of the main characters. I did actually consider it after receiving your review suggesting it and I'm wondering now whether it might have been a better choice...but anyways it's done with now. I'm glad you liked the way I made Vash get angry, it was a comment from someone else which provoked me to write it and after giving it a lot of thought I think that Vash probably would act that way. I also thought it would be a bit weird if Meryl just woke up and acted all happy as well, I tried to imagine what it would be like to wake up and find out you weren't even the same species, I think I would be pretty peed by it which is how I came to the decision about how Meryl reacted. This chapter is going to concentrate mainly on Vash and Meryl so I can make their relationship...well...more stable. Regarding your second review I'm glad that you are enjoying it and that review made my day. Thanks soooo much for your reviews and I hope you like this chapter too.  
  
Neptune Butterfly - Yeah I think maybe I did make Meryl over react a little but don't worry it'll all be straightened out in this chapter. About your Knives and Violet point I was actually considering it, but then I remembered I had promised some Millie/Knives romance to some of the other reviewers, and I'm still not sure whether I should keep Violet alive or not...And don't worry Violet forgives Kuroneko too. And no you weren't reading too much into the whole Millie hoping her feelings weren't love, I was kinda going for that approach and I'm glad you picked it out. I look forward to being bugged again lol thanks soooo much for your review.  
  
Happyjack - Yeah I really liked your idea bout Vash going crazy so I thought why not and added some of that into it. Anyway I'm glad you are liking the way I am showing my characters and that they are all acting kind of how they should be. Sometimes it gets really confusing having so many people to write about so I'm glad I'm not totally messing up anyone. Also glad you liked Meryl's reaction and I'll try not to rush to write stuff but I do feel guilty when I don't update for a while. Thanks for your review and enjoy this next chapter.  
  
Rainy-days13 - Yay I'm glad I'm not evil anymore and enjoy this next chapter, Meryl and Vash fluffy goodness is a promise ^_^. Thanks for your review.  
  
Nekokito - When I read your review I wasn't sure whether to be extremely flattered or nervous that now I have so many people reading and that I have to make sure my writing quality doesn't fail me. After a few minutes I realised that your review was excellent and it means a lot to me that so many people are enjoying this, and having a review like that has virtually guaranteed a well written chapter cos it has boosted my confidence sky high. So here is your update and I hope you all enjoy it.  
  
scathachdhu - I'm glad you liked the angst, when I started out writing this fic it wasn't supposed to be that angsty but it seems like it has. So thanks for your review and here is your update.  
  
Wow all of that took me ages but on with the chapter:  
  
Chapter 13 - Guilt  
  
Meryl continued to run through what had happened in her mind, there was a throbbing pain in her head that just would not disappear and the weight of what had just happened caused her terrible pain; mentally and physically.   
  
She knew she must have hurt him with what she had said before and she didn't blame him if he was angry at her, Vash was the kindest most selfless man she had ever met and would never have said anything to hurt her. Yet even though she knew all of this her mind still doubted the honesty in his words, perhaps he had grown attached to her, but what if it was only her pathetic confession that had forced him to feel that way?  
  
She sat up and pulled her knees up against her before considering anything further, yes she wanted to believe it but she didn't want to get hurt - especially by that idiot of a man.   
  
"Okay Meryl." She said aloud as if to force it into her mind "Think rationally, could it actually be possible that he was telling the truth, and even if he wasn't would it be so bad?" She gathered her thoughts and drew in a deep breath. 'Even if he was lying, he was still prepared to be with me...doesn't that count for something?' She thought helplessly.   
  
"No" she decided, "It doesn't, I can't just go around living a lie." She glanced around the dimly lit room and sighed miserably, the curtains were pulled tightly closed so that no harsh light could enter the room. Wrapping her arms tighter around her knees she sat silently, half expecting to wake up and find that this was all just a terrible dream.   
  
She wondered where everyone was and whether they had already left, maybe her behaviour towards Vash had sent him packing again, and maybe Millie was upset with her. Perhaps they had left her alone in this house, which seemed so large and scary when it was so quiet.   
  
Her eyes filled with tears, as they seemed to be doing more and more recently but she held them back, she refused to cry anymore. Wiping them away with her sleeve she buried her face in her hands to block out the world, everything just seemed like it was going wrong, her own little world where only she existed was being torn apart. 'It's my own fault for letting that broom-head into my heart like that' her mind screamed at her.  
  
A small tap on the door snapped her out of her depressing thoughts and her head snapped up to see who it was. She breathed a sigh of relief as Millie's head poked around the gap in the door and gave her a faint smile.   
  
Easing the door open Millie stepped inside and closed it again quietly behind her before crossing the room to stand beside the bed. Meryl looked up at her silently, her eyes a dull shade of what they used to be.  
  
"How are you feeling Meryl?" Millie asked happily and sat down on the edge of the bed.  
  
"I'm fine...actually I'm better than fine." She put on her best smile, which instantly faltered when she looked into Millie's sad and all knowing eyes. Meryl could never fool her best friend.   
  
For a long moment the two sat in silence, quite happy to be in each others presence and comfortable enough with each other to not have to fill the gap with talking. Both were carefully planning what to say to each other so that their points would not be misunderstood. Neither of them wanted to fight because they hadn't been understood properly and finally Millie broke the silence with the question Meryl knew was coming:  
  
"What did you say to Mr. Vash earlier?"   
  
For a long time Meryl didn't answer and Millie wondered if she had even heard her. "Meryl?"  
  
"I heard Millie, I'm just trying to find an answer that makes sense." Meryl replied and leaned forwards to bury her face in her hands again. Her head sill ached with confusion and weariness; she was tired...so tired of living and hurting all the time. Millie laid a comforting hand on her shoulder and tried to cheer her friend up.  
  
"I'm sure its not all that bad." Her tone was full of hope and forced happiness.   
  
"I don't think I can stay here anymore." Meryl murmured, partly hoping that Millie wouldn't hear her.   
  
"What! So after all this time, having the pain of Vash leaving, your just gonna leave and do exactly the same thing to him!" Millie tried to suppress the anger in her tone but failed and simply allowed her feelings to be shown.   
  
"Millie..." Meryl looked up at her friend and their eyes met hesitantly, "after all that has happened there is no way I can stay here in this place...with him."  
  
"I thought you wanted to be close to him?"  
  
"I did...I mean I do...its just that things have changed now."  
  
"Is this something about what happened earlier?" Millie pressured again.  
  
Meryl nodded slowly and the familiar stinging at the back of her eyes returned with such a force she struggled to keep the tears from being shed.  
  
"Vash told me he loved me."  
  
"And why is that so bad?"  
  
"He is only saying that out of guilt and pity for me, I'm not human anymore Millie and he probably feels like he should be responsible for me."  
  
"Now Meryl." Millie said firmly "Think about what you just said and ask yourself whether that sounds at all like the Vash we know and care about."   
  
"I..."  
  
"Listen Meryl, I don't really understand why you and Mr. Vash are like this around each other but listen to me, after Vash left your room earlier I haven't seen him since. He was pretty upset by the looks of it and seeing him like that made it clear to me that he was being completely sincere with you."   
  
"Do you think so?" Millie smiled at Meryl's childlike expression, her large innocent eyes staring up at her tearfully and the guilt that flickered beneath them.  
  
"I'm sure if you spoke to him he would forgive you." Millie smiled and stood up and Meryl nodded and jumped from the bed before stumbling over to the drawers to search for some clothes to wear.  
  
"I'll go and get you something to eat." Millie grinned and left the room quickly.   
  
Meryl quickly discarded her nightclothes and changed into a fresh blouse and skirt before dashing out of the door, pausing only to drag a brush through her hair and slip on some shoes. She had an idea where Vash might be and she didn't want to waste anymore time.  
  
Dashing down the short flight of stairs she reached the front door and opened it before stepping out into the afternoon rays. She could not believe how long she had stayed in her room; already the suns were setting in the sky and casting a fiery glow all around.   
  
Breathing in deeply to try and calm her fluttering stomach Meryl walked as silently as possible. There were not many people out in the streets and she guessed they were probably inside, sheltering from the dying rays of the suns.   
  
Pausing in her step she swivelled her head upwards towards the cliff side where she and Vash had been all those weeks ago and sure enough, he was there. His back was turned towards her and his gaze was fixed at the sky, watching the suns as they fell from their places in the sky.   
  
The shadows lengthened even as she made the short walk up the rocky cliffy side and it wasn't long before she was standing a few meters from him. She stood for a while and observed him, before now she had thought that maybe he was lost deep in thought but as she watched him even more carefully she could see the slight quiver of his shoulders. 'He's crying' Her throat thickened and she tried to force away the tears that had once again sprung into her own eyes.   
  
***Meryl's POV***  
  
Carefully I approached him, still unsure of what to do or say to him once I got there, I was afraid he would ignore me or perhaps he would shout at me as I had done to him. Blocking the thoughts from my mind I tried to concentrate on what to say to him, I knew I should apologise first, but then what?  
  
I forced one foot to move in front of the other until I was standing beside him and sat down next to him. I was afraid to speak and break the silence or his concentration and simply sat next to him with my eyes fixed on the dusty ground. I wasn't even sure whether he knew I was there with him and almost jumped out of my skin when he spoke.  
  
"You should be resting." His voice was soft and almost too gentle and my throat tightened in response, it would have been easier to take if he was angry with me. I didn't anticipate such a gentle response and I bit on my bottom lip nervously. My guilt gathered in strength and he had hardly said a sentence to me yet.  
  
He sat with his head turned away so I couldn't see his face and that made everything so much worse, he had already had so much pain in his life...he didn't need me adding to it. I considered leaving him alone but knew if I did I would probably lose him forever and just thinking about it made me want to give up on life altogether.   
  
I couldn't bear to think of life without him, so why the hell was I sitting here saying nothing!  
  
  
  
"Vash." I choked and just about kept the tears under control. He didn't look up, he didn't react at all and my heart twisted in agony. 'He really does hate me' I thought helplessly...  
  
A cold tear escaped and gently trickled down my face leaving a small silvery trail behind it. I rubbed at it angrily, to rid myself of it. I had no right to cry.   
  
"Do you need help getting back?" Vash asked, in the same soft but emotionless tone, which broke me from my thoughts. I snapped up my head hoping to meet his eyes but to my dismay he still had his head turned away, his hair had fallen from its usual style and waved in the light breeze.   
  
"I came to apologise." I murmured quietly hoping that would provoke a reaction from him, anything was better than him just sitting there silently.   
  
"You don't have anything to apologise for."   
  
"I was awful to you...I didn't mean anything I said Vash...I was just afraid that you were pitying me and that I would be living a lie if I let you into my life." I let my head drop a little and focused on the ground again, it felt good to be able to get that out in the open. At least now he might understand why I acted so terribly but it didn't excuse what I had done.   
  
"Oh...Meryl, do you really think I would be so cruel to do that to you?"  
  
"No, I don't know what I was thinking, please forgive me."  
  
"Like I said before, there is nothing to forgive." This time he did turn to face me and I met his eyes eagerly and instantly became lost deep inside them.  
  
"I think I would feel better if you were angry with me." I admitted and scooted closer to him, my hand resting close by his on the dusty ground.  
  
His eyes never left mine and I felt the deeper urge to just sit and stare into them all night when suddenly he broke eye contact and turned round to face me fully and rested his hands on my shoulders.   
  
"Meryl, I can't believe how mean you are!" He put on his sweet puppy eyes and tried his best to look hurt and upset.   
  
"I know, I'm sorry." I laughed at the huge grin he now had on his face and blushed as I realised his hands had remained on my shoulders.  
  
"So what now?" He asked, his eyes softening to a gentle wash of green.  
  
"What do you mean?" Did he mean us? Or did he mean something else?  
  
"Well, I'm still not sure how you are still with us...I mean you are supposed to be dead but that Violet girl saved you...she made you into a plant and that may have some sort of effect on you."  
  
"What!" I couldn't suppress the panic and he obviously noticed.  
  
"Oh don't worry, I'm sure nothing bad will happen. I mean if Violet was fine with the plant energy there is no reason why you shouldn't be."   
  
Suddenly he released his grip on my shoulders and turned back to stare at the suns which were almost gone by this time. The sky was alive with a passion of wonderful colours, flaming reds and brassy oranges, which mingled as one to form the perfect picture. I felt somewhat honoured to be able to see such a beautiful sunset and by the looks of it Vash felt the same way.  
  
I had never seen him as relaxed as he was now; a small but genuine smile graced his angelic features and had risen up to his eyes; making them shimmer with a vibrant life. I sat looking up at him, only slightly aware that he probably knew I was sat staring at him. 'Look away' I told myself, but my body wouldn't listen and my eyes were fixed on him, drawn to him like a moth to the flame.  
  
  
  
My heart fluttered as he turned to look at me again and I dipped my head to hide the flare of embarrassment that had instantly coloured my face. Why was I still pretending that I had no feelings for him? Why was he acting so normal? He knew how I felt about him, and I had the sneaking suspicion he felt the same way about me, but still both of us were hesitant, afraid to cross the line we had distanced ourselves from for so long.   
  
Lost deep in thought I never even realised he had moved closer until I felt his arm move up around me and couldn't contain a small squeak of surprise. He laughed at my reaction and pulled me closer so I was snuggled up against his side.  
  
"That's better." He murmured and glanced down at me with a huge grin on his face. I couldn't help but smile back before nuzzling up against him affectionately.  
  
Okay so perhaps it wasn't the most intimate act, but for me it was the best thing I could have hoped for, leaning against him felt so right so...perfect. For the first time in my life I felt whole, not ripped apart or empty inside.   
  
***Normal POV***  
  
Millie sat in the kitchen with Ashley talking happily together and ignoring their fears about Knives and that strange woman who had almost succeeded in killing Meryl. Ashley said nothing to Millie about what had happened but in her youthful mind she knew that's who she was thinking about.   
  
"This pudding is really good Millie." Ashley said, waving her spoon around enthusiastically.   
  
"Yes it is." She agreed.  
  
"Millie..."  
  
"What's wrong?" The tall girl asked and the girl simply shook her head and lowered her gaze to the table. She wasn't sure whether she should bring up the subject that her friend was obviously thinking about.  
  
"Knives isn't evil anymore Millie." She murmured quietly.  
  
"You think so?" The interest in her tone was obvious.  
  
"Yeah definitely, he's probably on his way home now."  
  
"Maybe." She sounded sceptical and her blue eyes seemed suddenly dull with worry.  
  
"You care for Knives don't you?" Ashley pushed the subject.  
  
"I don't really know what I feel about that man, it's so strange...I know I should hate him for what he did to Wolfwood but I just don't."  
  
"It's just the kind of person you are Millie." Ashley stood up and wrapped her arms around Millie's shoulders.   
  
"Maybe I should go meet him."   
  
"Huh?" Ashley looked at the older woman with interest and nodded meekly.   
  
"I'll go meet with Mr. Knives and ask him what he means to do, maybe I can find out if he has really changed or not, then Mr. Vash won't have to worry anymore." Her blue eyes regained their life again and she stood up from the chair.  
  
"Are you going now?" The girl asked and followed her around the room, watching her gathering her coat and shoes.  
  
"Yes, will you stay here and tell Meryl and Mr. Vash that I'll be back a bit late?"  
  
"Of course Millie, and be careful okay." Ashley followed her to the door and stood watching her leave before closing it and turning back to the empty house.  
  
She hoped desperately that Millie would be okay but she sincerely believed that Knives was okay now and she was sure that Millie knew that too. 'I wonder why she went to meet him.' Ashley thought before flopping down on the couch and waiting patiently for Meryl and Vash to return in the haze of darkness.   
  
* * * * * *  
  
The suns had finally dipped away out of sight and given way to the consuming shadows leaving the cliffs bathed in a warm but heavy darkness. It lay thick around the desert like a comforting blanket to give protection from prying eyes.   
  
Vash turned his gaze to the woman who was leaning against him, still awake but just barely. They hadn't spoken much at all but just watched the suns as they made their descent into oblivion and now darkness had settled over them both.  
  
"Are you still awake?" Vash asked with slight amusement.   
  
"Of course!" Meryl snapped, sounding only half annoyed as she sat up and pulled slightly away from him.   
  
"Hey don't be that way, if you want to go back you only have to ask." He got up and brushed the dust from his clothes before holding out his hand to help her to her feet.  
  
She looked at his hand incredulously, and for a moment he thought she was going to decline his offer until she reached up and took it. Then together they made their way home through the darkened streets.  
  
"Millie will probably be wondering where we are." Meryl said quietly, wanting to fill the gap of silence as they walked.  
  
"She won't mind."  
  
"I think I should probably get back to work as soon as possible." She continued, knowing that he probably wouldn't like the idea of her working so soon after the incident.   
  
"Meryl do you think that's wise?"  
  
"Yes, we need the money to pay off the rent we owe."   
  
"Maybe we can move on to another town." Vash offered.  
  
"Even if we did we still have to pay off the rest of the money, but leaving might not be such a bad idea. The people here have never really been too fond of you Vash and this place holds so many bad memories." Meryl sighed miserably.  
  
"So you want to leave?"  
  
"I don't know."   
  
"Well I say we talk this through when my brother gets back." Vash suggested and linked arms with Meryl happily as they reached the house.  
  
"If he comes back." Meryl reminded him.  
  
"He will." He pushed the door open and stepped inside. Ashley had fallen asleep on the couch and Meryl went over to her and smiled softly at the child before gently grabbing one of the blankets beside the couch and wrapping it around her.  
  
"Do you want a drink or something?" Meryl asked as she entered the small kitchen and searched the cupboards for a cup, which was an almost impossible task in the darkness. Sighing she searched for the light switch.  
  
"What are you looking for?" Vash asked as he poked his head into the kitchen and looked at her curiously.  
  
"The light switch." She finally found it and flicked on the lights, which instantly lit up the room. "That's better." She reached back into the cupboard and lifted out a cup and turned to ask Vash if he wanted a drink.  
  
"Wha-what are you doing?" She stammered as he reached over and laid his hands over hers, which were grasped around the glass so tight she thought it might break. He was so close to her and she could feel the heat emanating from him and her heart threatened to beat right out of her chest.   
  
"Meryl..." His voice was low and quiet and she glanced up to look into her eyes, which were the most beautiful colour she had ever seen them.  
  
"What's wrong?" Her voice sounded strangled.   
  
"Will you still have me if I promise to be good?" He put on the most innocent face that Meryl had ever seen him use and she thought her heart would explode.   
  
"When are you ever good?" Meryl laughed.  
  
"I can be good sometimes." He whined and gently he prised the glass from her hands and set it on the side next to her before pulling her closer.  
  
"I find that hard to believe." Meryl whispered.  
  
"I can be polite." He said as he lowered his face so it was opposite Meryl's.  
  
She looked deep into his eyes, which were now so close to her own it was scary, she had dreamed of this closeness for so long and now that it was here she was slightly afraid.  
  
"Meryl, please may I kiss you?" He asked with a smile spreading on his face.  
  
"If you want." She batted her eyelashes at him and he grinned before leaning further down and pressing his mouth gently against hers.   
  
The kiss was gentle and shy, both of them unsure of what they were doing but eagerly continuing. Meryl let her arms reach up to wrap around his neck and worked one hand into his soft hair to hold him even closer. She felt his own arms slide around her waist and press her up against him. Meryl never knew that kissing like this could be so...good. She couldn't help but smile against his mouth and he obviously noticed because a second later he pulled back slightly to look into her eyes.  
  
"I told you I was polite." He grinned and she swatted him in amusement. They stood together for a few moments longer, sharing breath in the dim lights before finally breaking apart, both of them a little flushed from the kiss they had just shared.  
  
"I wonder where Millie is." Meryl said, trying desperately to keep her mind away from him and focus on something...anything else.  
  
"I don't believe you!" He said, the smile from his face never faltering, "Do you purposely play hard to get or does it come naturally."   
  
"I don't know what you're talking about." Meryl said as she batted away his hands, which were trying to draw her into another hug.  
  
"She probably went for a walk." He said finally managing to get his arms around her and pressing her against his chest again.   
  
She let her eyes fall closed and finally relaxed, allowing herself to be held by him, the weariness she had forgotten now returned and rested heavily on her eyelids. Sighing she wrapped her arms around Vash's slim waist and buried her face against his chest. She could feel one of his scars beneath the thin shirt against her cheek and nuzzled against it gently. He tensed under her gentle touch and looked down at her face, which was completely relaxed in the beginnings of sleep.   
  
Gently he reached down and lifted her up into his arms and cradled her possessively against him, she turned her head up to look at him, violet eyes hazy with sleep.   
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Carrying you." He grinned and she shook her head, a small smile creeping onto her face.   
  
Giving one glance at Ashley who was still fast asleep Vash ascended the stairs with Meryl in his arms before entering her room and laying her down on her bed. He smiled as he tugged a corner of the blanket out from under her and covered her with it before silently backing out of the room.   
  
He knew she would have been annoyed if he had stayed with her, but part of him hadn't cared what she would have said or done in the morning. He hated returning to a cold, empty room with nothing but nightmares waiting for him in sleep. He partly wished that Meryl was still afraid to be left alone so at least he would have had that excuse to be with her. Sighing into the darkness he flopped down on his bed and fell asleep, his thoughts lingering between Meryl and his brother.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Okay, well this chapter was sooooo hard to write, it took me three days to write which explains why some parts were written better than others. For some reason I just couldn't find the write words to express what I wanted to say, and I don't know why. Next chapter will hopefully be better and will focus mainly on Millie and Knives. I have also had a few new ideas which means this fic will last a little longer than expected. I hope you enjoyed it and plz review.  
  
Oh and another quick note...some of u may have noticed I have started another fic called Freedom, but DON'T worry, this fic will be my main priority, I will not give up on it.  
  
'Love and Peace' 


	14. Shy

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun.  
  
Note: Oh I'm so sorry, I hope you can all forgive me for taking so damn long...I started writing this chapter as soon as I submitted the last but with exams and extreme block on how to write this chapter it suddenly crawled to a halt with me writing a paragraph here and there...so it probably don't even make sense cries. Oh well its here now so please enjoy it...if that's even possible.  
  
Thanks to reviewers:  
  
Chibi Chibi - I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I'm sure there will be a chance for Knives and Millie . Thanks for your review.  
  
DecoyNeko - wow my first ratings, thank you so much for your kind review and I'm glad you like my story. Thanks sooo much for your review and enjoy the next chapter.  
  
Luna-Kitsune-Blu - As always you made me laugh, I'm glad you like my chapters and I hope you like this one just as much. Thanks for your review.  
  
Snapdragon76 - I'm glad you liked the chapter I wasn't sure whether it was good enough or not. Thanks for your review.  
  
Silverado6000 - You must be the master of reviews, I always look forward to reading yours. Anyway I was also quite happy with the beginning and so far Millie hasn't taken a really important role in my fic because I concentrate mainly on Vash and Meryl. So I thought I better add some parts where she does take control and stuff cos I felt kind of mean by leaving her out. I agree with the sunglasses thing for Vash and I'm not sure why I never thought of that but thanks for pointing that out, I will remember that for next time. Yeah I've also noticed that Ashley is not taking much of a role lately, so maybe I'll bring in another short sub-plot involving her before the end. I guess the reason I haven't completely shown whether Knives is good or bad yet is because I'm not too sure myself how I want him to turn out, I'll probably decide that in this chapter.   
  
I'm glad you liked the way Meryl and Vash got back together; I had a conversation about how to do it with one of my friends and came up with that idea. The cliff scene and the kitchen scene took me the longest to write out of any other short scenes I have done. Thank you for thanking me for all those things it really makes me happy to know that people are enjoying this fic. Hope I didn't take too long in updating, I can't really remember how long it has been or not. Thanks again for your review and I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
  
Pammi - I'm sure you'll think of some ideas for your story soon, most of the time my ideas come to me when I'm sleeping or something stupid like eating dinner. Thanks for your review.   
  
Neptune Butterfly - I'm glad you and Kuroneko are enjoying this fic, and I will consider keeping Violet alive...maybe I can think of some cool new plots involving her. Glad you liked my last chapter and thanks so much for your review.  
  
Darkraven - Yes I'm always looking forward to seeing how my next chapter turns out. Well thanks for your review and I hope you enjoy this one.  
  
Rainy-days13 - Glad you are having a good day and that you enjoyed the fluff in the last chapter, I hope you like this chapter too. Thanks for your review.  
  
AnimeGirl2004 - Thanks for your sweet review, and here is the more that you wanted to see.   
  
Ximchan - Here's the new chapter, hope you enjoy it. Thanks for your review.  
  
Dustdragon - There wont be any lemon so don't worry about that, thanks for your review.

* * *

Chapter 14 - Confused  
  
Ashley opened her eyes and yawned silently before rolling onto her back to glance up at the ceiling. There was a tension building inside of her, fluttering like butterflies and kept her from sleeping peacefully. She was concerned about Millie and she had fallen asleep before she could tell Meryl and Vash, they would probably be angry with her for not telling them sooner. 'I can't believe I fell asleep!' Sighing miserably she rolled onto her side and buried her face into the pillow trying to take comfort from it.  
  
'What if Millie is in trouble? I need to make sure she is all right, if she gets hurt and I just sat here doing nothing I would never forgive myself. She has been too kind for me to just abandon her like that' Finally Ashley dragged herself from the couch and stretched her muscles that had cramped slightly from being on the couch for such a long time, but she wouldn't complain. A couch was much better than a cold cell floor any day.  
  
Rubbing the sleep from her hazy eyes she ran her fingers through her wavy hair and folded the blanket at the end of the couch. She paused and blinked before heading towards the kitchen and was surprised to hear whispered voices from within. Ducking down slightly she crept over to the door which was open just enough for her to peer inside. A huge smile spread across her face at the sight, which greeted her, she was so glad that Vash and Meryl were finally revealing their feelings for each other. She had known since the moment she had heard how Meryl had spoken about Vash that their feelings went deeper than normal friendship. 'Guess it's just a natural talent' she thought with a smirk.   
  
The quiet voices in the kitchen snapped her from her thoughts and she pressed herself as close to the door as possible to try and listen, there was no way she was going to miss what they were talking about.   
  
Meryl was leaning back against the counter, her palms pressing against the smooth surface and fingers tapping nervously against it. She looked like she had only just woken up - a little of her normally neat hair was out of place and her eyes were dull with fatigue - but still pretty in the morning sunshine. Vash stood opposite her, his head bowed slightly so he could look at her easier, and his hair flopping down over his cool aqua eyes.  
  
"Don't worry I'm sure it'll be okay." He murmured softly and reached out a hand to her. Meryl visibly flinched and turned her head away from him so that he couldn't see the tears, which were springing up in her eyes.   
  
"What if...what if it has something to do with Knives?"  
  
"He's changed Meryl, I'm sure of it." Vash leaned forwards and laid a hand against her cheek, turning her to face him. He searched her eyes for any sign of belief or trust but found nothing but fear and concern.  
  
"I want to believe you...but..." She trailed off and leaned against Vash's gentle touch on her cheek.  
  
"Then believe me." He smiled slightly and tilted his head to get a better view of her face in the pale light. It still felt strange being this close to her and not having to hide his feelings or getting hit on the head for touching her like he was doing now.   
  
Meryl sighed in defeat and let a small smile creep onto her face, which brought a sparkle to her eyes.  
  
"Fine then, if you have so much faith in your brother than I have no choice." She grinned and smacked him lightly across the head before edging away from him.  
  
"Where do you think you're going?" Vash asked, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.  
  
"Going to check on Ashley." Meryl replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"Well..." Vash nodded and wrapped his arms around her tightly so that her feet lifted up from the ground. "I can't let you go without giving you a hug first." He finished.  
  
"Stop it Vash." Meryl scolded and prised herself from his grip, "You are such a pervert, I don't know why I expected you to change."  
  
"That's a little unfair Meryl." Vash pouted and put on a hurt face.  
  
"It's the truth." She said desperately trying to contain a smile.  
  
"Well then! You shouldn't be surprised should you!?" He reached over and wrapped his arms around her again.  
  
"Shh you'll wake Ashley you big idiot."  
  
"Is that my new pet name?" Vash smiled and nuzzled his face into her neck. Meryl smiled and nodded slightly as he pulled away. Glancing up in disappointment she met his eyes, which seemed to glow with passion and it was only seconds before a kiss ensued.   
  
((Whoops getting a little carried away with the Vash/Meryl fluff, even though I promised this would be a Millie/Knives chapter...so lets just pause there for now and move on.))

* * *

The sand seemed to dance a swirl of patterns on the desert ground, creating dizzy spells swirling through his mind. He had many questions...so many questions but no answers and that's what annoyed him the most. Gritting his teeth as another cloud of sand lashed out at him he let his head fall forwards and rest in his hands as he paused in his step.   
  
'Why did I take that woman home? Why did I care that she would have died alone in the desert? Why do I care that the woman Vash loves could have died? Why do I keep thinking about that annoying naïve woman?' sighing miserably he grimaced at the sting of sand on his face and closed his eyes.  
  
He had wanted to stay until the girl passed away into nothingness, but the insistent weeping of the boy and laboured breathing of the dying woman had finally urged him to leave. He hadn't even looked back, just shut the door and walked into the desert and back to his brother...and to Millie.  
  
Continuing on his journey now with his thoughts lingering on that tall insurance girl the last thing he expected was to run into someone, especially now it was dark and quicksand was hidden. In fact even he despised being out in the desert when night had settled in. 'I wonder if they will even want me to go back to them.' Knives thought.   
  
The sound of a car disturbed his miserable thoughts and looking up he was almost blinded by car lights, which beamed out across the desert. He lifted a hand to shield his eyes against the rays and tried to catch a glimpse of who it was, his heart jolted as he realised it could be no one other than that tall insurance girl.  
  
He paused in his step and stood dumbfounded at the realisation that she may have come out looking for him.  
  
"Mr. Knives!" Came the familiar voice from the driver's seat as she brought the car to a halt beside him.  
  
He was speechless.  
  
"Thank goodness I found you, I was starting to think I had gone the wrong way." She continued when he didn't speak. "Get in, I'll drive you back to town, it shouldn't take too long." Her face was bright and cheerful.  
  
He couldn't breath...couldn't move...only stare stupidly at her.  
  
"Are you alright Mr. Knives? What happened to that girl?" Millie's smile had faded to concern and she started to get out of the car. Knives' harsh voice stopped her.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why what?" She looked slightly confused.  
  
"Why did you come here?" He needed to know, to put his mind and heart at rest.  
  
"Well...I don't know, I wanted to make sure you were okay I suppose." Millie ducked her head to hide the faint blush that was creeping up into her face and sighed.  
  
"Did you really think I couldn't take care of myself? I'm not like my idiot brother you know." Knives snapped angrily as he got into the passenger seat beside Millie. She smiled slightly and sat back down in her seat before starting the car once again and turning it around.  
  
For a moment there was silence and Knives knew if he didn't talk to her now he probably would never get another chance.  
  
"Millie..." Her name was strange to speak, or maybe it's because he hardly ever spoke it aloud. He was aware now that he had her attention but could not look away from the road.  
  
"What is it Mr. Knives?"  
  
"I wanted to take this opportunity to speak with you."  
  
"Oh." She sounded interested.  
  
"It's been bothering me for a while now, and if I tell you...you must promise not to tell anyone, especially that idiot brother of mine." His tone was serious and dark.  
  
"I promise." She had angled her head slightly to look at him now but he kept his head lowered.  
  
"I want to know why you are different."  
  
"Different?"  
  
"I look at the humans around me and hate them so much I want to kill them, make them suffer...I want to end you're stupid race and just live in a beautiful world which isn't tainted by humans..."  
  
Millie was frowning slightly as she listened to him, she knew better than to think he was just saying those things to scare her, she knew he meant every word, maybe he hadn't changed after all.  
  
"But...but when I look at you..." He paused, desperately searching for the right words. "I don't feel any of that hate, I don't have the urge to kill you...Can you tell me why?"  
  
"I don't know Mr. Knives..."  
  
"Stupid woman, you must know!" He was beginning to get angry; he was so confused with the emotions whirling inside of him.  
  
"I wish I could help you...maybe it's just because you are beginning to accept people and because you know me quite well...maybe you consider me a friend?"  
  
"A friend?" He repeated quietly...but he knew that wasn't it.  
  
"Yup, I'll be your friend Knives." He noticed how she left out the 'Mr' that time.

* * *

Ashley scrambled away from the door just in time and grabbed the covers before burying herself beneath it. Her heart was beating so loud she was sure it would give her away; seconds later Meryl and Vash came out of the kitchen and into the lounge.   
  
"I'm still worried about Millie...I wonder where she could have gone. If Knives has taken her then she could be in danger." Meryl sighed and walked over to glance out of the window.   
  
"So you still don't trust him..." Vash sighed.  
  
"No." Was her short reply.   
  
Ashley mentally kicked herself for being so stupid as forgetting Millie and jumped up instantly, making Meryl and Vash jump in fright.  
  
"I know where Millie is. I was supposed to tell you last night but I must have fallen asleep before you got back."  
  
"Where is she?" Meryl asked.  
  
"She went to look for Knives..." Ashley's voice was quiet.  
  
"And you didn't stop her?" Meryl demanded.  
  
"I'm sorry." Ashley was close to tears, she realised now it had been a mistake for Millie to go but at the time it had seemed right for her to find him.   
  
"Hey don't worry about it, I'm sure she will be fine." Vash smiled and patted Ashley on the shoulder.  
  
"How can you say that?" Meryl fumed and headed for the door only to be blocked by Vash. The temper that would scare any person suddenly flared up in her and she snapped her head up to look him in the eyes. She gritted her teeth and noticed how he flinched under her gaze.  
  
"Get out of the way." She said slowly.  
  
"I'm sorry Meryl, but I can't let you go walking out into the desert alone." Vash told her, a slight tremor of fear in his voice.  
  
"You can't stop me!"  
  
A couple of seconds later Vash had lifted Meryl over one shoulder and was carrying her upstairs to lock her in her room until he could figure out what to do. Listening to her death threats from the other side of the door he knew he would regret that move later but right now he couldn't worry about that.   
  
"She is really mad." Ashley giggled as he re-entered the lounge and flopped down on the couch. He nodded in reply.   
  
"Maybe you should go let her out." Ashley said, sitting down next to him.  
  
"No way! She'll hurt me!"   
  
"You have to let her out some time." Ashley told him and laughed at his fear stricken face.  
  
"Please don't remind me." He whined and let his head fall back against the cushion.  
  
"You're really weird." Ashley told him.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Anytime."  
  
"Okay so what exactly did Millie say she was going to do?" He asked.  
  
"She...uhhh..." Ashley trailed off, not sure exactly what to tell him. "She wanted to make sure he was okay...I think."  
  
"Do you think I should trust my brother?"  
  
"Why are you asking me?"  
  
"You're a good judge of character." He replied honestly and she smiled.  
  
"Well then...I think that he is changing...but slowly...he's half way to becoming a decent person. I think he has conflicted ways of thinking...one part telling him to become a good person...the other side trying to stay the evil man he was before."  
  
"How...how the hell can you tell all that? You've not even been around him much!"  
  
"I don't know..." She shrugged.

* * *

Millie watched as the suns rose up in the sky and glanced sideways at Knives, he had fallen asleep an hour ago and looked extremely peaceful now. The pained and confused look was void from his features leaving his face relaxed and...handsome. Suddenly her hand seemed to take on a life of its own and moved without her consent, a panic rose in her chest as she realised where it was heading and her fingertips came in contact with his soft hair.  
  
'What is this I'm feeling?' She wondered as she withdrew her hand from him and kept the car on its straight path back to the town. The quiet little town was on the horizon now and she hoped she would get back before Vash or Meryl woke up and discovered she was still missing.  
  
"Where are we?" Knives' weary voice interrupted the silence.  
  
"Nearly back in town now." She replied.  
  
"Millie..." He was saying her name again...  
  
"Yes Mr. Knives?" She asked.   
  
'Ahh so the Mr. is back again.' Knives thought sadly, 'why do I care what she calls me?' He shook his head slightly and realised he had been about to ask Millie a question.   
  
"Forget it." He snapped angrily, he just couldn't find the words to voice his feelings and instead turned his attention to the bleak desert. Every moment he spent with this girl he felt tense and uncomfortable, he had never felt that way around anyone before. He had always been totally in control and now things had changed dramatically and left him in a state of total confusion.  
  
"Are you looking forward to getting back?"  
  
"There isn't much to look forward to." Knives muttered  
  
"Well I think there is, you're lucky to have a brother who cares about you."  
  
"Who the hell cares, he should hate me."  
  
"But he doesn't." Millie said cheerfully as she hit the accelerator.  
  
"That's his own weakness, he trusts me too much...I could kill you right now if I wanted to." His blue eyes gleamed like sharp ice.  
  
"I know..."  
  
"And that doesn't scare you?"  
  
"Why should it?"  
  
"..." He couldn't reply...he had no reply.  
  
The town loomed closer as the suns rose higher; the sky was alive with bands of cool morning colours. The town gleamed almost golden in the morning sunshine, and even Knives had to admit that in the right light, the planet could look beautiful. He sighed and risked another glance at Millie, she looked perfect even though she hadn't had any sleep...he cursed himself for thinking such things.

* * *

Millie's POV  
  
Knives had definitely changed a lot - he was calm and measured and actually quite attractive. I found myself blushing slightly at thinking such things, and also horrified with myself. Wolfwood was dead because of this man...well not directly, but he was the one who led the others to do it. Why was it that I was attracted to this man, was it his honesty? His calm manner and the way he was lost in thought almost constantly, He is a quiet but intelligent man and somewhat mysterious.  
  
The small house I had come to call home came into view, it looked peaceful and still which raised my hopes that maybe no one was awake and I stopped the car and got out. Knives too got out and paused to look at me, our eyes locked and for a moment I couldn't drag them away. Then I noticed something in his eyes that I had never seen before, he was deeply upset and confused and those usually cold eyes seemed to reveal all.  
  
Before I knew what I was doing I had walked around the car and pulled him into a light hug. He reminded me of a confused child who just needed a little comfort and I wanted to be the person to give him that reassurance. To my surprise he didn't yell or push me away, he simply tensed and allowed me to hold him. Then I lost my nerve and released him, muttering apologies before heading towards the door to the house.

* * *

Vash's POV  
  
"Well I think I should go look for them." I told Ashley who was now sitting on the floor opposite me; her large, unblinking eyes were starting to make me nervous.  
  
"So you don't trust your brother?" She asked almost too sweetly.  
  
"Yes...I mean...well, I don't know..." I stood up and paced the room trying to think of what to do, and I still had to let Meryl out of her room. She had finally stopped yelling death threats and had fallen quiet, but even that made me nervous, she was plotting someway to pay me back I just knew it.   
  
"So when are you going to let Meryl out?" Ashley giggled.  
  
"I don't know..." I admitted and let my head drop.  
  
"That's not the best way to treat your girlfriend." Ashley scolded me in a teasing way.  
  
"Ashley, don't make me feel worse than I already feel!" I sighed and pouted for a moment when suddenly the door was thrown open.  
  
Whirling round I felt a great weight lifted from my shoulders at seeing Knives and an unharmed Millie entering the house.  
  
"Where have you been?" I demanded and watched my brother's emotionless eyes staring back at me.  
  
"I went to go get Knives..." Millie grinned sheepishly.  
  
I noticed how she just called Knives...Knives and instantly made a mental note of it - I would question my brother later. Then sighing I flopped back down onto the chair and closed my eyes, relief flooding through me. Maybe now Meryl wouldn't be so mad at me, seeing as I had been right all along.   
  
"Meryl and Vash were worried about you two." Ashley chirped up, filling the awkward silence and I opened my eyes slightly to look at her.  
  
"Well there was no need to be, I'm fine...just a little tired." Millie yawned on cue and walked across the room to go upstairs.  
  
"Millie!" Ashley called after the tall woman; "I need to talk to you."  
  
"Okay." Millie nodded and I watched them go up the stairs.   
  
It was only when they had disappeared totally that I turned towards my brother, he hadn't moved from the door and his eyes were fixed coldly on me.  
  
"So what happened?" I asked.  
  
"With what?" He replied.  
  
"With that girl...where did you take her?"  
  
"I took her to her brother." Knives said simply.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I didn't kill her if that's what you wanted to know, although it may have been better to put her out of her misery. Why do you want to know?"  
  
"Is...is she dead?" I stammered slightly.  
  
"I should think so." Knives shrugged.  
  
"Oh..." I couldn't hide the disappointment in my face.   
  
"Why do you care?"  
  
"I wanted to thank her...for saving Meryl."  
  
"Where is that irritating woman anyway?" Knives said, directing the conversation towards a different subject.  
  
"Meryl? Ahh I completely forgot, she's gonna kill me!" I looked nervously up the stairs and then towards the front door.  
  
"What's wrong now?" Knives asked.  
  
"I gotta go." I yelled and dashed past him and out of the door.

* * *

Once again I apologise for the long wait and the disappointing chapter, I'm not sure what to make of it so I'll leave it for you to decide.

EDIT: Sorry for not specifying when the scene changes, for some reason the stars never showed up so I put lines instead   
  
'Love and Peace' 


	15. Arguments

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun and I never will.  
  
Note: I updated as quickly as possible...that's all I have to say this time.  
  
Thanks to reviewers:  
  
Blu - Yeah I know how you feel about the pairing thing, there are some pairings I just can't stand. To be honest with you I'm finding the whole prospect of Millie and Knives hard to write. For one thing I can't imagine Knives ever being the fluffy type and I also can't imagine Millie being able to forgive him enough to love him...oh well...anyway I'm glad my last chapter wasn't too disappointing.  
  
Silverado6000 - Thanks for pointing that out, especially the star things not being there, for some reason they aren't showing up anymore so I had to put in lines instead. Thanks for saying that I did a few mistakes, I'm slowly going through all my chapters and editing them, to get rid of any spelling mistakes and adding more detail so I'll keep an eye out for them in the last chapter.   
I'm glad you weren't too disappointed with the last chapter, I wrote it over a long length of time and when I went back to check I had to do major editing because it was so muddled. I found the Millie/Knives scene a little hard to write, I just can't imagine Knives being the fluffy type and I'm still a little unsure whether to take their relationship any further since I don't know how to make them confess their feelings. I guess I'll have to give it some more thought. I'm glad you liked that part anyway, because that was the section I was the most worried about.  
Yeah, I was getting so cooped up with the Vash and Meryl scene when I realised that I was supposed to be writing Mille and Knives stuff so I thought that I might as well cut it off there just to be annoying and to give them some ::ahem:: privacy. And the whole locking Meryl in her room thing was just something I could see Vash doing just to make sure she didn't go getting herself into trouble. It was also refreshing to be able to write something slightly more humorous than the angst I have been writing lately. And finally, I will be editing that chapter soon and I'll be sure to add more detail, I'll put notes up when I've edited the chapters anyway. Thanks for your review and I hope you enjoy this chapter too.  
  
Magnet-Rose - Hey don't worry about it, I know how it is and as long as that means you get to write then its not so bad. And I'll stop apologizing...well I wont promise cos I do it quite a lot, I'm the kinda person who feels really guilty about everything. I hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks for all the smiles :)   
  
Dustdragon - Aww thanks for your understanding review, and here is your next chapter hope you enjoy it.  
  
Chibi Chibi - Yes Meryl will most likely hurt Vash...a lot...he is so silly, but never mind it just means more entertainment for us to see him get beaten up by a woman half his size. Hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks for your review.  
  
Happyjack - Yeah, I don't think you're the only one who got a bit freaked by the whole thing, I found that part so hard to write so I don't think I will take their relationship much further than good friendship. Yes and Meryl will most likely get annoyed and stressy, but that's what makes it fun! So thanks for your review and I hope you like this chapter.  
  
Ximchan - I'll keep your idea in mind and I may include it in this chapter, or if not the next one if things go a little strange in this one. Thanks for your review and enjoy this chapter.  
  
Rainy-days13 - yeah uh sorry bout that, I promise I'll make that up to you this chapter, well if Vash getting slapped counts as fluff...well anyway thanks for your review and I hope you like this chapter.  
  
Darkraven - Yes I'm looking forward to writing that part too, I'm still deciding on how to write it though...thanks for your review and enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 15 - Arguments  
  
Knives' POV  
  
I just don't understand that girl, she appears at first to be a child, and her innocent mind is so strong that not even I could taint it. Yet beneath that innocent appearance lays a mind that is filled with wisdom, she sees deep inside people, into their hearts, their souls. I don't think her friends appreciate how wonderfully intelligent she is. She speaks only from the heart and I know that if there were such a thing as a perfect human, she would be the closest.   
  
Even though she may be close to perfect, I know she is not. No humans are perfect no matter how hard they try to be. They destroy this world with their greed and leeching off of my brethren. I just don't understand why Vash doesn't see that. Over one hundred years and I still have not succeeded in changing his mind about theses disgusting spiders.  
  
I don't think I can stay here anymore; this place is making me sick. My mind feels like it belongs to someone else and inside I feel different, the burning hatred inside is disappearing and if I let it die completely there will be no point for me to live on this withering planet of dust.  
  
I listen to the angered shouts from upstairs and watch with slight amusement as Vash's woman came charging down the stairs. Her face was a pure picture of fury and she didn't even seem to notice me as she glanced around the room, obviously looking for my brother who had fled like an idiot. She paused to glance sternly at me but made no attempt to speak with me partly because Millie chose that time to come down into the room. Her brilliant smile seemed to light the atmosphere considerably.  
  
"Where is he!?" The short woman demanded, her eyes flaming with pent up anger.  
  
"He went to get some fresh air." I snarled and she narrowed her eyes.  
  
"Oh come on now Meryl, I'm sure he didn't mean to lock you in, it was probably just an accident, there's no need to get angry at him." Millie said, trying desperately to calm her friend down.  
  
"An accident?" The short woman snapped spitefully, "There'll be an accident when I find him!"  
  
I grinned and laughed quietly, imagining my brother getting beaten up by that fiery little woman, which was something I definitely didn't want to miss.   
  
"He's at the saloon." I said simply, knowing exactly where my brother was, he hadn't had to tell me I just knew. I probably should have warned him that his woman had discovered his whereabouts but that would have been unfair of me, wouldn't it?  
  
"Figures, that man will NEVER change, thinking he can control me, stopping me from helping my friend and now he runs off and doesn't even let me out. He probably would have left me in there until he started getting hungry and wanted me to cook him something!" I had never seen that woman this angry and I suddenly felt a little guilty about setting the wheel in motion and not warning my brother.   
  
She strode past me and out of the door ignoring Millie's protests the whole way and I found the house strangely quiet and uneasy without the two noisiest residents home. Millie was still standing at the door, her hand stretched out in a futile attempt to stop her friend.  
  
"Oh dear." She exclaimed and shook her head.  
  
"Leave them Millie, they need to sort things out." I grinned.  
  
"Poor Mr. Vash." Millie turned to look at me, a small smile on her face. Once again the innocence in her eyes knocked me speechless. How could a woman who had seen so much pain and suffering still be so pure in her mind?  
  
"Ahem..." We both turned to look at the child who had come down the stairs, a huge grin on her face. Millie stirred and coughed in slight embarrassment and I could feel my face tingling with the strange emotion I had felt only once or twice before.  
  
"What's wrong Ashley?" Millie asked.  
  
"Those two really do make a great couple." The girl beamed "Their first lovers tiff." Her eyes glittered with stars of happiness and I was surprised to see Millie reflecting this look.  
  
"Ugh...humans." I murmured so that they wouldn't hear and left the house. I might as well go and taunt my brother.

* * *

Normal POV  
  
Ashley sat down on the couch and propped her feet up onto the table, her eyes settling on Millie who sat down beside her.  
  
"So...you never got a chance to explain what happened with Knives upstairs because of Meryl...what did happen?" Her inquisitive eyes never left Millie's face.  
  
"I just drove out and picked him up, nothing happened. We did speak for a while and you're right Ashley, he is changing."  
  
"Isn't that a good thing?"  
  
"Yes I suppose it is..." She trailed off.  
  
"Yes?" Ashley prodded for more information.  
  
"Well, when it was me and Wolfwood, it never felt this awkward, everything was so natural and it just fell into place. It was perfect."  
  
"But with Knives, it's different?"  
  
"Yes, I don't feel relaxed around him." Millie sighed, "I don't think its love."  
  
"Maybe you should talk to Meryl about this, I wouldn't really know." Ashley put on a face of deep thought.  
  
Millie sighed and stood up, quickly putting the smile back onto her face and walking to the kitchen. "So are you hungry?" She tilted her head to look at the girl who nodded instantly and bounded over to have a look at what food they had in.  
  
"Doesn't look like we have much in the house." Millie sighed as she searched the cupboards. "Guess we will need to go shopping later."  
  
"Boring...I don't have to go do I?" Ashley pouted and sat on the table to watch Millie cutting up some thick slices of the bread, which was about the only thing they had in the house.  
  
"Well we'll see what happens when the others get back, they might want to go." Millie spoke softly, her thoughts still lingering towards Knives.   
  
'If it isn't love then what is it? Could it just be that we have a good friendship, or maybe a connection that leaves us thinking too much into it? I wonder how he feels.' Millie thought helplessly as she made the sandwiches. Ashley had fallen quiet to watch the woman in deep thought a frown creasing her delicate features and large eyes studying the woman's behaviour. She hoped she could help Millie just like she had helped Meryl and Vash, but for some reason this situation wasn't as clear-cut.   
  
"Millie are you alright?" She asked but the tall insurance girl was too deep in thought to be disturbed and sighing Ashley got up and left the house. This was probably some kind of grown-up thing she wouldn't be able to understand she decided as she walked out into the sunshine.  
  
A little black cat appeared from beside the house, its large eyes looking up at Ashley and meowed loudly making the girl jump in surprise. She looked down and noticed the cat as it brushed up against her leg purring timidly and glancing up at her.  
  
"Hello." Ashley grinned and sat down stroking the cat behind its ears and gained a louder purr in return. Sitting outside Ashley glanced down into the town listening for any signs of the others and the cat sat beside her, seemingly looking for something as well.   
  
Her wavy hair fluttered in the comfortable breeze as she sat quietly taking in the quiet town scene before her, it was strange to think of herself being free again. She had never thought that she would escape that awful prison but thanks to Meryl and Vash she was free to live her life.   
  
Pulling her knees up against her she sighed happily, the sunshine felt good on her skin and the breeze was exceptionally refreshing, the cat too seemed to bask happily, the quiet purr continuing to hum like a small engine. A peaceful contentment rose inside her and she wondered if Meryl had succeeded in finding Vash.

* * *

Vash was hiding, and although it wasn't the best of hiding places he was certain that it would work. There was no way Meryl would cause a scene in front of all these people which meant as long as he stayed here she wouldn't be able to yell and hit him. Confident that his plan would work he leaned over the bar signalling for the waitress who approached him almost instantly, a flirtatious smile on her face.  
  
He ordered his usual and gratefully accepted the drink hoping it would calm his nerves, suddenly his plan didn't sound very good anymore. He slumped over the bar grasping the glass in both hands and stared into it hopelessly, why oh why had he locked Meryl in her room? It had seemed like the perfect solution at the time, except that he had forgotten how she would react to it. Sighing he downed the drink as quickly as he could and ordered another from the keen waitress who had been eyeing him up ever since he had stepped through the door.  
  
"Is something wrong?" She asked as she handed him his second drink.  
  
"Wha? Oh...no...nothing." He stammered only half aware of his surroundings, most of his mind still buried with thoughts of the insurance girl.   
  
"It doesn't look like nothing to me." She continued and leaned against the bar fluttering her eyelashes slightly.  
  
"I've not seen you in here before." Vash said.  
  
"It's my first day working here I'm quite new to the town." She stated.  
  
"Ahh, well I'm sure you'll like it here."  
  
"Hmm, I don't know...I'm a born and bred city girl, these quiet little towns don't hold much for me. I expect you're the same." She smiled and Vash shrugged.  
  
"I don't really mind. Things like that don't bother me much."  
  
For a moment the waitress looked a little lost at what to say next, she had given him her best smiles but this guy was either blind or too stupid to notice. Desperately trying to think of a new plan she decided on a different approach.  
  
"Maybe you could show me around after my shift?"  
  
"I don't know..." Vash murmured.  
  
"Oh come on, surely you don't have anything better to do." She urged.  
  
"Well...I-"  
  
"-Please." She begged and reached over to lay her hand on his.  
  
"H-hey what are you..."  
  
He never got to finish his sentence as Meryl Stryfe chose that time to enter the saloon, a look of death written over her face. Her eyes settled on the scene in front of her, which just happened to be Vash holding hands with a pretty woman at the bar.   
  
Her anger flared...  
  
Vash's eyes widened as he spotted Meryl standing at the door and snatched his hand away from the waitress' grip before swivelling around in his chair to face her. A cold fear gripped him as he saw the pure rage building in Meryl's eyes and he raised a hand to her.  
  
"Hey Meryl." He put on a nervous grin, which quickly disappeared as Meryl strode forwards, her fists clenched at her sides.  
  
"Don't you _hey_ me!" She said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Meryl this isn't what it looks like." He continued desperately.  
  
"Sure it isn't, I can't believe you! If it wasn't enough to lock me in my room you leave and go flirting with other women." Meryl controlled herself well, keeping her tone deliberately firm and slow.   
  
"But...no...I...you don't understand, I didn't do anything!" Vash stuttered helplessly and looked over to the waitress for help. She simply smiled at him and moved closer.  
  
"Oh honey, surely you wouldn't lie to this girl? You were about to show me around town, remember?" She smirked at Meryl's confused and slightly hurt expression, which was almost instantly covered up with more anger.  
  
"Is this true?" Meryl demanded, keeping the hurt in check so it wouldn't be revealed in her voice.  
  
"N-no, you have to believe me." Vash was on his feet now looking from one woman to the other desperately.  
  
"I know what you're like, I've seen you flirting with tarts like her before." Meryl continued, the comment drawing a scowl onto the waitress' face.  
  
"Excuse me!" She started.  
  
"Look." Meryl yelled, "I don't know who you think you are but you are welcome to have him, I couldn't care less." With that the insurance girl headed for the door. Vash stumbled after her and reached out to grab her arm, she wrenched free and slapped him across the face leaving him completely stunned. His eyes fixed on the door, which was swinging from where she had passed through it.

* * *

Meryl's POV  
  
Okay so I know it was a little too much to think that Vash could change completely but I at least thought he would stop chasing skirts once he had told me he loved me. Could it be that he didn't have feelings for me after all? I strode out of the door my hand stinging slightly from where I had struck him and almost bumped into Knives who had been standing in the street.  
  
"So you found him?" He grinned and I narrowed my eyes at him, there was something about him that I just didn't like. Maybe it's because his words always dripped with sarcasm or some deeper, darker meaning.  
  
"Leave me alone!" I yelled and brushed past him, he made me so angry sometimes, but then again everybody seemed to make me angry.  
  
I glanced down the road where our house was and quickly decided that I wouldn't go there yet, if I did Ashley and Millie would be asking questions and I would most likely burst into tears. What could I tell them, that Vash had dumped me for some tart in the saloon? That wasn't exactly an ego boost for me, especially to have to admit it openly to my friends. I also knew that if I went back Knives was certain to return with Vash and I wasn't sure whether I was ready to see him yet. Hell, I wasn't sure if I'd ever be ready to see him again after what had happened. My heart had taken enough beatings from that man to last me a lifetime and I was afraid if its tender core were abused just once more I would die.  
  
Yes this might seem like I'm overreacting, and I probably am...but it doesn't help to know that, it just makes things worse. I'd never be able to look at Vash again and see a friend, all I would see now was one man that was no different from any other: a pervert, an idiot...someone who had broken my heart. I wonder if he will ever know how much he means to me? Knowing him he's probably clueless, he doesn't seem to understand me or my feelings at all, but that isn't just his fault. I've been hiding my emotions behind this shield of anger for as long as I can remember, ever since I was a child. Being openly emotional just wasn't me!  
  
I sat down alone on a bench that looked out across the desert and watched a light wind stir the sand into little golden clouds. The endless desert looked somewhat comforting and I found myself tempted to just walk out into its open arms and let it keep me hidden forever.  
  
It was only when I noticed the shadows lengthening into afternoon and the twin suns growing lower in the reddening sky that I realised just how long I had been sitting in the same spot. I was even more surprised when someone came to sit beside me. I swivelled my head up to see who it was interrupting my private thinking space and almost died when I saw Vash.  
  
He refused to look at me his eyes hidden behind the lenses of his sunglasses and I tried to pretend that I hadn't noticed him.  
  
"I'm always doing this aren't I?" He spoke up, his voice guarded against emotion. My heart clenched with pain, even after we had told each other of our undying love nothing had changed. We were back to square one, arguing and fighting constantly.  
  
Vash took my silence to mean I was still annoyed with him and continued to speak, 'Always hurting people...it doesn't matter whether they are friend or enemy, I hurt them physically or mentally."   
  
"That's not true." I murmured.  
  
"Isn't it? I hurt strangers, enemies, my friends, my twin brother and even the girl I love."  
  
"You can't expect to go through life without hurting someone Vash, you can never please everyone all the time, it's a part of living." I pointed out, he sighed and I risked a glance up into his face.  
  
"I'm sorry for locking you in your room Meryl." He whispered and I couldn't help but smile a little.  
  
"I'm sorry for hitting you earlier." I reached over and grasped his hand, as if I would fade away to nothing if I weren't holding onto him. He squeezed my hand gently and drew in a deep breath.  
  
"Well, I can't help it if women keep trying to flirt with me. I am the best looking guy in this town." He grinned and removed the sunglasses revealing his aqua eyes to me.  
  
"I think that slap must have loosened your brain." I smirked and he made a great show of looking hurt.

* * *

Normal POV  
  
Vash leaned towards her and pulled her gently into his arms and nuzzled up against her neck his breath tickling her sensitive skin. Meryl giggled slightly and wrapped her arms firmly around him feeling his heartbeat pounding over hers and she traced the scars that she could feel beneath the shirt with loving care and moved to rest her head on his shoulder.  
  
"So am I forgiven?" Vash's voice was soft and seductive. Meryl pulled back from him slightly and grinned, shaking her head, a playful twinkle in her violet eyes. Vash looked at her, his own eyes shining with a deep affection for the woman sitting in front of him and slid closer to her in the seat. He reached up a hand and gently stroked her cheek with such tenderness Meryl was knocked senseless. It was all she could do to stop herself from drowning in his gaze, she was so warm and comfortable when he was with her, and she felt complete and happy.  
  
She leaned back on the bench pulling Vash with her so that he was leaning over her, one hand lingering on her cheek before rising up slightly to stroke through her dark hair. She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment her head spinning with the wonderful sensations of being close to him. Vash took this chance to lean forwards and claimed her mouth in a raw and passionate kiss when Meryl suddenly remembered where they were and flattened her hands against his chest to push him away.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked, confusion evident in his face.  
  
"I don't think kissing like that in public is very appropriate...do you?" She raised an eyebrow sceptically and frowned at the grin, which spread across his face.  
  
Shrugging he stood up and glanced around the nearly empty street, helping Meryl up as he did so and linking arms with her cheerfully. It had been easier then he had imagined getting back into her good books and he glanced down at her.  
  
"Have you had time to mention to the others about leaving this place?" She asked gently.  
  
"Not really, but I'm sure they will agree it's for the best. You have any idea where you want to go?" Vash enquired.  
  
"Isn't that usually your decision?" Meryl looked up at him with a suspicious look in her eyes.   
  
"Well I can't be selfish now can I?"  
  
"I guess we could ask the others, they might have somewhere they would like to go." Meryl replied and Vash agreed before leading her towards the house.

* * *

Hmm...I liked the beginning but not so much the last part, I really wasn't in a very fluffy mood when I wrote that...please review and tell me what you think and I'll update as soon as possible.

'Love and Peace'


	16. Memories

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun...  
  
Note: Wow I got so many reviews this time...15 in total - which is a new record for me I think - so I'm going to make this a really nice long chapter.   
  
Thanks to reviewers:  
  
Blue and TK - Here is your update I tried to be as quick as possible and I think I know where I'm going with this chapter so it should be easy to write...hopefully. Thanks for your opinion on the whole Millie / Knives thing it actually helped me a lot. Anyways thanks for your review and enjoy!  
  
Chibi Chibi - Yep Meryl and Vash forever! I wouldn't have it any other way and I would never be that mean to Vash . There will hopefully be some more Millie and Knives stuff in this chapter but I'm not sure yet as I write all my thanks stuff before I do the actual chapter but I'll probably make them talk about their feelings or something. Thanks for your review it is always much appreciated.  
  
Suzuki Rei - Thanks for your review. I'm glad you like the way I portray Knives, I find his POV's the most interesting to write for some reason so I'll probably stick a few more of them in. Here is your update and I hope you enjoy it.  
  
Neptune Butterfly - Hey don't worry about not finding time to review every chapter. As long as I still know you are enjoying it I don't mind, I know how busy things can get around this time of year so no worries. I'm glad you liked what I did in the last chapter it was actually really fun to write and I totally agree with you on what you said about Knives, he will definitely need to go slow. Thanks for your review and I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
  
Silverado6000 - Knives' POV's are fast becoming one of my favourites to write so there will probably be a lot more of him this chapter. I have no idea why I like writing his thoughts down more than others but I think its because he is such a different character compared with all the others. I'll keep trying with the Millie and Knives pairing as it seems most people are up to seeing them get together so I wont give up with them. After your comment about Ashley sorta fading into the background I decided that maybe she could help Knives and Millie get together as well since she appears to be good at that sort of thing. You're comment about adding another POV for why Vash took so long is a great idea and I will let you know when I've added it...although I'm not sure how long it will take...I remembered the sunglasses thing because of that comment you said before when Vash was on the cliff and Meryl was trying to apologise, I thought I would include that this time so I have you to thank for that too. Here is your update I hope you enjoy it.  
  
Rainy-days13 - Yup Meryl could never stay angry at Vashie now could she? Thanks for your review and I hope you like this chapter just as much.  
  
Dark-pyro-angel-2 - Hmm I'll have to give it some thought about Meryl's new powers and such and I think the reading minds thing could be fun so it is a possibility I will keep in mind. Thanks for your thoughts on Knives and Millie I think I have finally decided to make them a couple because of all the positive feedback. I'm glad you like this story it means a lot to me so thank you, thank you, thank you and enjoy this next chapter.  
  
Allam - Ahh okay, okay, here is your update, thanks for your feedback and I'm glad you like it.  
  
Rukato86 - number 1 - Yeah I know what you mean about the Millie/Wolfwood fics, there does seem to be getting a lot of them...but then I suppose its because they make such an obvious and cute couple. I am actually starting to prefer the Mille and Knives couple now although it took a while, its probably because I'm trying to write that pairing which is why I like it better than I did.   
  
Rukato86 - number 2 - Thanks to all of the positive feedback I got on the Millie and Knives pairing (including yours) I have decided that I will give it a go, it'll probably be one of those slow things that progress over time though as I can't really see either of the characters moving towards each other very fast. I agree that Millie will need to move on cos its not like she can mope around forever and it just doesn't seem in her character do that. Thanks for both of your reviews and don't worry I'm not annoyed that it took you nine chapters to review, I'm just glad you did. I hope you enjoy this chapter too.  
  
White Ninja Spy - Nope my story definitely hasn't ended...actually I'm not sure when it'll end...but when it does I'll make sure to let you know and I'll probably write a sequel knowing me. Anyway thanks for both of your reviews and don't worry about the Millie/ Knives pairing, even though they probably will get together it wont be anything hardcore or extremely fluffy and my main pairing concentration is Meryl and Vash. So thanks again and I hope you enjoy this next chapter.  
  
Faery Goddess - Thanks for your short but kind review and I hope you like this chapter just as much.  
  
Lyn - Wow you read it all in one go! OO I'm glad it was good enough for you to stick with it. I will definitely keep writing so don't worry. Thanks for your review and enjoy this next chapter.

* * *

Chapter 16 - Memories  
  
Knives' POV  
  
I watched everyone dashing around madly from where I leaned against the wall by the door and kept silent hoping that they would forget I was here and not drag me into their packing. It had been their decision to move, not mine and I wasn't exactly pleased about it.  
  
It had been three days since Vash's woman had caught him in the bar being seduced by that other female human and since then the house had been mayhem. The two had come back to house after 'making up' with the idea of leaving this place and all of its bad memories and since then I hadn't had a moments peace.   
  
So why wasn't I happy with it? You might ask, and I'll tell you straight...they had decided to go home and visit their families and when I say 'they' I really mean Millie, as apparently it was her idea. I had overheard Meryl talking to Vash about how large Millie's family was and it got me slightly nervous seeing as I was going to be visiting them. If they got me annoyed I would probably lose it and try and kill them and although the idea didn't sound too bad I keep thinking of what it might do to Millie. I couldn't bring myself to hurt her and I'm afraid that I would just by being me.  
  
I was brought out of my thoughts by the sound of someone coming down the stairs and raised my eyes to see Vash's woman lugging her pink suitcase with difficulty. She paused on the last step and glared at me angrily so I quickly averted my gaze and tried to hide the amused smirk, which had appeared without my consent.  
  
"And what do you think you're smiling at?" The woman demanded as she approached me with that threatening look I had seen her use on my brother a thousand times, and to be honest it was pretty scary. I cleared my throat and glanced down at her angry face and tried to look the picture of innocence. It failed.  
  
"You should be helping! We were supposed to leave half an hour ago and now we're going to be late because you're too god damn lazy to help!" Her eyes darkened.  
  
"You are the one who wanted to leave and if you haven't noticed I don't actually have much to pack...in fact all I have is a change of clothes which were already in my brothers bag so it's you who are making us late." I felt rather accomplished at that remark but that feeling lasted about five seconds before the annoying woman started again.  
  
"I didn't ask whether you were ready, I wanted you to help...as in help the others to pack or something." Her eyes darkened even more and I tried to edge towards the door.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" She blocked off my escape and pointed up the stairs before leaving the house to put her suitcase in the car but not without shouting a couple of threats on the way.  
  
I started up the stairs mumbling about that idiotic human who thought she could order me around like I was some kind of servant when I heard a loud sound coming from my room...or the room I shared with Millie. I knew it had to be her since Meryl was outside and Vash was...well he had gone somewhere with Ashley before Meryl could catch them not helping with the packing. I should have gone with them...   
  
I paused in the doorway of Millie's room, which was wide open and leaned against the frame to watch her. She was leaning over her suitcase, which had items of clothing and other things hanging out of the sides; there were also various items, which had been thrown carelessly around the room. I smiled slightly without realising it and continued to watch not wanting her to know I was there. She was trying to fold her things and get them to fit in her suitcase as well as all the other things she had slowly collected from her trip...it was a futile attempt yet she seemed adamant to keep trying.  
  
Her hair that was usually down was tied up loosely in a ribbon so that it hung down her back as she tried to pack her things. Blue eyes, which were usually soft and kind, were deeper with concentration and her teeth had caught her bottom lip as she tried to clip the suitcase shut. After a few moments of struggling with the clasps, which just refused to meet, she gave up and sat back on the ground. She looked up then and noticed me standing in the doorway and gave me a cheerful wave. I took a step back a little startled at being caught staring at her and quickly got rid of the smile which had crept onto my face.  
  
"Hello Knives, Meryl finally caught you then?"  
  
"I guess you could say that." I murmured and stepped hesitantly into the room.  
  
"Well as you can see I'm having a few problems with all my things." She laughed and I found the irritating smile creeping back onto my face again.  
  
"Maybe you should sort out what you need to take and what you can afford to leave behind." I offered.  
  
"Hmm...maybe, but most of my things are important to me."  
  
"What...all of this stuff?" I gestured around the room and she laughed again.  
  
"Yup, don't you have anything special that you keep?"  
  
"No." I replied and she gave me a strange look as if she didn't quite believe my answer. Wasn't my answer true? I had nothing at all with me, not a single possession and she of all people knew that, so why that strange look? "You know I don't own anything other than a few clothes." I voiced my thoughts and she smiled at me again, her blue eyes sparkling.  
  
"Well they don't have to be items, they can be special memories or people...I just happen to have a lot of items that remind me of those special people or memories, but they aren't necessary."  
  
"Then you don't need to keep them all." I pointed out and she shrugged and began to collect the items, which had spilled out around the room.  
  
"So?"  
  
"So what?" I asked.  
  
"Do you have any special memories?" I almost laughed out loud at that comment, didn't she realise all my past memories had been bloodthirsty and evil?  
  
"Well not really." I finally said and her smile faded slightly.  
  
"That's not good, we'll just have to find you some good memories wont we."   
  
I knelt down to pick up more of her things and opened the suitcase to try and stuff them in and shook my head in disbelief at how many possessions she had.  
  
"This wont fit." I told her.  
  
"I know, looks like I'll have to leave some behind after all." She sighed and started to refold clothes and replace small items so that she could fit in as much as possible. I had the feeling she would be leaving a lot behind.  
  
Raising my head I realised she had been watching me carefully fold one of her shirts and the heat of embarrassment crept up on me.  
  
"You know Knives, you are much more capable than you're brother, when I watched him fold clothes he was hopeless." I laughed and shook my head slightly.  
  
"My brother has always been like that, guess it's because he was the younger twin."  
  
"I think he's just clumsy."  
  
"That too." I agreed and our eyes met briefly again, I say brief because at that moment Vash's annoying woman came into the room and interrupted us, not that I minded or anything, its just she could have at least knocked instead of charging in.  
  
"Will you two hurry up in here, I've got to go look for Vash and Ashley and when I get back I expect you to be finished."  
  
"Meryl don't rush around so much, Vash will be back soon and my family are used to me being late." Millie chirped up happily and I couldn't help but smirk at the expression on Meryl's face, that comment seemed to have worked in calming her down.  
  
"Okay fine, but I'm going to look for Vash anyway, I bet I know where he is anyway so I won't be long."  
  
"Alright Meryl." Millie called and waved as the short woman left the room, I turned my attention back to her and after a great struggle we finally got most of her things in the suitcase without it exploding. The other things that wouldn't fit, we just left in the now extremely empty looking wardrobe.   
  
I hoped that Meryl wouldn't find Vash just yet.

* * *

Normal POV  
  
Meryl headed as quickly as she could back into town feeling a little annoyed that Vash had run off without so much as a word, she knew where he would be but still, it was pretty annoying. If he had Ashley with him then he wouldn't be at the saloon and that left only one other place. He was at the restaurant eating donuts.  
  
Turning the corner into the street she found herself wondering whether she would miss the small town. Even though it held many bad memories it also held good ones that she would never forget and the mixed emotions created a muddle inside of her. She had been the one to suggest leaving and she really was happy to be going back home, not to see her own family but to get to her own apartment and to see Millie's family. She had always been close to them and they had treated her like another daughter or sister. They really were one of the kindest families she had ever met and she was almost as excited as Millie about seeing them again.   
  
Her own family though were another matter, she didn't talk about them much mostly because she was ashamed and she was glad that Vash hadn't asked her about them. She knew the question would come sooner or later and she dreaded it. Her family wasn't the kind and caring one that Millie had but quite the opposite, they were partly the reason why she decided to take the job to follow Vash.  
  
She was glad that Millie hadn't let slip anything about her relatives but she knew it was partly because Millie hardly knew anything about them either, when they had first become friends at the insurance company she had mentioned a little of the strictness of her father and the ways of her brothers but other than that she said nothing. Her tall friend must have picked up on that because she seemed to secretly know that Meryl's home life had not been the happiest which was confirmed when she finally moved into her own small apartment at the age of nineteen when she began receiving her steady income.   
  
Meryl thought that maybe she didn't have to tell her family that she was back, and possibly just not talk to them but she knew in her heart it was useless. They would find out she was back and demand to see her, not because they wanted to but to cause her pain.   
  
Sighing miserably she turned the corner to the restaurant and spotted Vash and Ashley almost instantly. They were sitting outside on a bench talking and laughing rather loudly and she paused to watch them from a distance, they did look just like father and daughter. She almost felt guilty about telling them to go back to the house but she knew she had no choice, they were already running an hour late.  
  
"Vash what do you think you are doing?" She asked as she stood in front of them.  
  
"Oh hey Meryl I was just teaching Ashley here how to-"  
  
"-Eat fifty donuts and not get sick?" Meryl ended.  
  
"How did you know?" He faked shock and she couldn't help but smile at him.  
  
"Actually he was telling me just how beautiful you looked this morning." Ashley spoke up with a grin.  
  
"I was?" Vash's face fell blank in confusion and Ashley sighed and shook her head.  
  
"You were supposed to agree and go along with it you idiot." Ashley laughed.  
  
"Oh! Yeah she's right, that's what we were talking about, I can't believe I forgot!" He ended with a nervous laugh, which trailed to silence at the look on Meryl's face.  
  
"Come on we need to get back." She said sternly and turned to walk back towards the house.  
  
"Now look what you did, she's mad at me...again." Vash whined.  
  
"You were the dumb one who mucked up what I was trying to do."  
  
"And what was that exactly?"  
  
"To make Meryl happy, haven't you noticed she has been a little tense these past few days ever since Millie said she wanted to go home?"  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"You're hopeless Vash."   
  
"Well now that you mention it she does seem a little more on edge than usual."  
  
"Yeah, I think she's worried about going home."  
  
"How do you know all this?"  
  
"It just takes a bit of thought Vash..." She grinned, "You should try it some time."  
  
"Yeah I...hey! Ashley that's just plain mean." He pretended to cry and Ashley thumped him playfully on his arm.  
  
"Come on you don't want to make Meryl more angry do you?"  
  
"No...wait for me."  
  
A few more hours saw all of them into the car with everything finally packed and tucked into the boot of the car. Meryl decided on driving seeing as she didn't trust Vash or Millie, seeing as they were virtually bouncing off the walls at finally being on the move again. Knives may have been an option since he apparently was a good driver, but had fallen into a bad mood since Meryl had left him with Millie, and seeing as Ashley was too young Meryl knew it had to be her.   
  
Vash was sitting beside her in the passenger seat with a stupid grin on his face whilst Millie and Knives sat in the back with Ashley between them. Peering in the car mirror Meryl noticed how Knives was slumped against the window, his eyes strangely unfocused and his jaw set in a way that made him look simply evil. Yet there was something in his eyes that took this view of him and made it less strong, like he was thinking about something that pained him. Meryl had seen that look on Vash plenty of times before but when it had been him he had reminded her of a child. On Knives it looked slightly menacing.  
  
Millie and Ashley were chatting away about nothing in particular, most of it on Millie's family and helping Ashley remember all of their names and what jobs they did. Meryl's face hardened at the thought of family, she knew she should be happy she had one at all considering all the orphaned children in the city but still she couldn't help but feel slight resentment. She never noticed Vash watching her from the corner of his eye, concern deeply etched in his face, but he said nothing, knowing she probably didn't want to talk about what was bothering her, especially with everyone in earshot.  
  
Instead he turned around in his seat and began to dig around for the donuts, which he had apparently hid in the car somewhere so that no one would find them. It didn't take too long to discover that they had slipped under his seat and for a moment there was frantic struggle as he reached down for it. Then finally content he managed to relax making sure to keep an eye on Meryl who had remained quiet so far.  
  
"How long will it take to get there?" Ashley asked as the conversation on Millie's family came to a halt.  
  
"We wont get there until evening tomorrow so we'll have to find somewhere to set up camp for the night." Meryl spoke, her voice tired.  
  
"Do you want me to drive for awhile?" Vash asked gently hoping she wasn't going to fly off the rail and start hitting him.  
  
"I'm fine." She replied, her eyes never once leaving the dusty track ahead of her.  
  
"I don't mind." Vash continued nervously.  
  
"No offence Vash but you're not the best driver." Meryl retorted and hoped he would drop it.  
  
"Meryl's right Mr. Vash remember that time when you trashed our car and then Meryl made you carry us the rest of the way." Millie laughed and Vash sunk down in his chair.  
  
"Don't remind me." He whimpered.  
  
By nightfall they had travelled considerably far and had passed through one village where they had stopped to rest and eat. Meryl had only left the car for a short while before returning and sitting back down in the drivers seat as if making sure that no one else would try and drive. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of the villagers talking and smiled, they all seemed very happy here in this small settlement and realised that most places seemed to be quite cheerful even in the hardest times.   
  
'This planet really isn't all bad' Meryl thought.

* * *

Meryl's POV  
  
I remained in the drivers seat alone for a few minutes knowing all too well that they would take ages getting ready. Ashley I think had gone with Millie too get a drink and some food for the trip whilst Knives had simply gone to stretch his legs. Where Vash had gone I could only guess...most likely the saloon.   
  
It was good to finally be alone after the hours of travelling we had done and even though Millie had been talking cheerfully throughout the dread in my stomach had grown heavier until I thought I was going to be sick. I shivered slightly and turned on my side so I could nestle my face into the seat of the car. It was in this pitiful position that Vash found me.  
  
He must have been watching me secretly from a distance and I heard the heavy thud of his boots as he approached. I lifted my head slightly as he opened the car door and lifted me up before sitting back down on the seat himself with me nestled in his lap. I almost burst into tears right then but I managed to hold onto my emotions whilst he positioned his arms around me in a comforting embrace.  
  
"So now that everyone is gone, will you tell me what's been on your mind?" He asked in that soft, kind voice.  
  
"There isn't anything on my mind." I replied, my voice muffled from where my face was hidden against his chest.  
  
"Don't push me away Meryl, Ashley noticed you weren't yourself a day or so ago."  
  
"So Ashley noticed and you didn't?"  
  
"Ah ha! So there is something wrong." I scowled as I realised he had caught me in his trap, and quite cleverly as well, which made me even more annoyed.  
  
"I guess I'm nervous about going home." I admitted after a moment's hesitation and he held me tighter as if he completely understood from that one short sentence.  
  
"Well you've been away for so long, it's understandable." He replied and I smiled, okay so he didn't quite understand from that one sentence.  
  
"It's not just that, although it is part of it."  
  
"What's the other part?" He asked and I drew in a deep breath, I suddenly felt quite scared about telling Vash that I didn't have a wonderful, kind family like Millie's.  
  
"It's my family." I finally said and held him tighter, just having him there seemed to help a lot.  
  
"You're family?" He was obviously confused and I smiled slightly and nodded, he really was clumsy when it came to this kind of thing. I guess it's because he has never been close enough to anyone to be there to comfort them. He has had to run from town to town all his life, afraid of getting close to people in case he is caught and then they are punished for knowing him.  
  
"They aren't exactly what you call a regular family, they are the exact opposite of Millie's family...so I'll let you use your imagination." I laughed; trying to lighten the situation and Vash leaned forward and rested his face against my neck.  
  
"You never know Meryl, they may have changed." He whispered and I shook my head slightly.  
  
"They have been the same way ever since I was born, there is no way in hell they would have changed."  
  
"People can change."  
  
"I know but...there are other things you don't know about them..."  
  
"Like what?" He asked and I couldn't contain a small sob that escaped my throat. I wasn't sure how to answer and because everyone chose that moment to return I didn't have to.  
  
"Should I drive?" Knives spoke up from where he stood by the car and I was about to tell him that it was fine when Vash spoke up first. He stood up; taking me with him and Knives took my place at the steering wheel. Ashley had jumped up into the passenger seat and I stayed snuggled in Vash's arms from the backseat next to Millie.  
  
I would never have admitted it but I was glad Knives had offered and I decided that as soon as I got the chance I would thank him. He could be useful sometimes.  
  
"We'll finish talking later, just get some rest now okay." Vash whispered and I nodded and closed my eyes.

* * *

Knives POV  
  
The suns had finally disappeared on the horizon and the moons were making their slow ascent up into the darkening sky, which was already studded with sparkling stars. I had often watched the stars at night and for some reason found a sense of calm within them. It had the same effect on me tonight and I finally managed to relax.  
  
I had continued to drive the rest of the evening and had found a secluded place for us to set up camp, which gave us shelter from the harsh wind that had risen not so long ago. It had seemed like a good idea and everyone else had agreed.  
  
Meryl had silently thanked me, which I noted was unusual for the short-tempered woman, and then she lay down next to Vash on a blanket that they had brought with them. Ashley too had her own blanket and was lying not too far from Vash and Meryl. Millie had stayed asleep in the backseat of the car the window rolled down so her feet could hang slightly out of the car. Her head pillowed on her coat and one arm draped over her stomach whilst the other hung down beside her. She snored very lightly and her face looked angelic in the pale light of the moons.   
  
I myself had found it impossible to sleep and had decided to sit in the driver's seat where I could watch over Millie and maybe try and sort out what had happened earlier.  
  
It was soon after Meryl had left to find Vash that it happened; Millie was giving the room one last check when she spotted something she had left behind. It was a small necklace with a cross shaped pendant hanging on the chain. I was completely unprepared for the tears she started to shed and could do nothing but stand and stare at her in disbelief. One moment she had been completely happy, laughing and smiling just as I had always seen her and now she was in tears over a silly necklace.  
  
I asked her what was wrong and she looked at me as if I was stupid and then those eyes, which were usually so kind and warm, turned cold and condemning.  
  
"Wolfwood gave me this...the night before he...he died." She managed to choke between sobs and it was then that I understood. Whilst some of these so called items held good memories others held bad ones and this little necklace must have held a mixture of both.  
  
Then I was hit by another thought, she knew that I had been involved with his death and that was what that look had been for.  
  
"I'm sorry." She apologised and that just increased my confusion. She wiped at her eyes as if embarrassed of her sudden outburst and put the necklace into her pocket.  
  
"Why are you apologising?"  
  
"Because I shouldn't be crying anymore."  
  
"You shouldn't bottle up your feelings Millie." I told her and she must have noticed that I used her name and she smiled at me.  
  
"I loved Wolfwood but he is gone now and nothing will ever bring him back." She said sadly and for some reason that remark hurt me more than I would ever admit. The realisation that this woman loved someone else stung a part of me so badly I thought I was going to keel over and die but instead I was left standing with the echoes of the pain, which would never truly die.  
  
She could never love someone after Wolfwood and I could never replace him.

* * *

Normal POV  
  
Vash was the first to be awoken by the pale sunshine that filtered down upon them with its delicate rays, which were at a reasonable temperature. The blue sky was unscathed and beautiful with its cobalt perfection and the sand glowed under the suns' delicate touch.  
  
Stretching he sat up slowly, Meryl's arm slipping from around his waist and landing on the blanket beside her. He smiled gently at her and glanced over to the car where his brother had fallen asleep spread against the steering wheel with his arms pillowing his head. He had to admit that life was pretty perfect right about now, apart from the problem of Meryl's family. He still hadn't had a chance to ask her anything else but he doubted she would worry this much over nothing.  
  
He glanced out at the golden desert and the small mounds of sand, which seemed to dot the ground all around and the rich coloured boulders that rose magically up like tombs of great gods. It was a picture worthy of any postcard and he doubted that even if trees were added to the picture it could not be made to look any more beautiful.  
  
Lying back down he rolled onto his side and positioned Meryl's arm around him again as it had been before and reached forward pressing a light kiss to her forehead. She stirred slightly and moved closer to him tightening her grip around his waist and murmuring something incoherent. He smiled and brushed the rebellious hair that blocked his view of her peaceful face. To him she looked like an angel and in truth she was, she had saved him so many times that the name 'angel' seemed quite appropriate for her.  
  
"Ashley was right." He whispered. "You really are beautiful." He laid his hand against her cheek and stroked her soft skin enjoying the warm tingling sensation that was left on the pad of his thumb by doing so. He hardly even noticed when her eyes opened.  
  
"Is it time to go yet?" She asked sleepily.  
  
"Not just yet."  
  
"Where is everyone else?" She asked and started to sit up.  
  
"Asleep." Vash replied and wrapped an arm tightly around her so that she couldn't escape. She looked at first like she was going to resist him but instead relaxed once more.   
  
"So are you going to tell me more about your family?" He asked and Meryl sighed as if she was weary of the whole subject.  
  
"My family is...well...different...ugh I don't know where to start."  
  
"Start from the beginning then, we have time."  
  
"It started from the day I was born I suppose, or if not that day then the day after but I suppose that's not important, the fact is I was a mistake."  
  
"Mistake?"   
  
"I was the child who wasn't supposed to happen."  
  
"How do you know that?" Vash seemed sceptical.  
  
"My father would tell me often enough..." Meryl paused and drew in a deep breath. "I was the one who was blamed and beaten and constantly mocked."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because...I killed my mother." She ended in a sob and buried her face in her hands too ashamed to hide her face against Vash.  
  
"H-how?"  
  
"She died giving birth to me. If I hadn't been born then my mother would still be alive today and that's what my father and my two older brothers think when they look at me."  
  
"Meryl that wasn't your fault. How can they blame something on you which was beyond your control?"  
  
"Because they can and they hate me for it."  
  
"So what happened?"  
  
"As soon as I was old enough...about age six...they sent me off to study, not because they cared about my future but because they couldn't stand to be around me." She paused a moment to gather her thoughts then continued in a quieter voice. "Then when my studies were over my father tried to force me into marriage so he would be able to forget about me...he found a man whilst I was away and when I came back tried to force me into it."  
  
"What happened then?"  
  
"The man proposed to me and I didn't even know his name."  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"What else, I slapped the idiot senseless and left." Meryl smiled then, her first smile since she had woken up and Vash couldn't help but return it, that sounded more like the Meryl he knew and loved.  
  
"My father threw me out and said if I didn't want to be supported by the husband he had chosen for me then I could support myself. Well after the education I had been given it wasn't too hard to find a job, that's when I got employed at the insurance company and met Millie and since then I haven't really spoken to my father or my brothers. "  
  
"Did you try and contact them?"  
  
"I wrote a couple of times, I felt guilty after watching Millie sending so many heartfelt letters home, they probably know all about you before they have even met you. I guess that guilt fuelled the letters but I only wrote a couple. I never got any back."  
  
"I'm sure everything will be fine, try not to worry anymore." She snuggled closer and Vash closed his eyes against the warm caress of the sun on his face as they steadily rose above the desert. He could feel the tickle of Meryl's breath against his neck.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"For what?"   
  
"For listening." She pressed a kiss to his neck and closed her eyes feeling the great weight from her shoulders being lifted and destroyed.   
  
Vash was just about to fall asleep again when he heard someone stirring and realised it was probably time to get going if they wanted to be at Millie's house by the evening. He opened his eyes to see Millie standing just outside the car and Knives had probably been woken up at the same time. Ashley stirred in her sleep and it was only a couple of minutes before she woke up and started rolling up her blanket.  
  
Vash prised himself out of Meryl's grip and shook her shoulders gently to wake her, which didn't prove too difficult. As soon as she was awake she was ready before anyone else and shoving Knives out of the drivers seat so she could take back her place. This time Millie took the passenger seat and Vash, Knives and Ashley were in the back, and together they headed towards the sun and to a future filled with hope.

* * *

Well that's another chapter done, it didn't actually take too long to write and seeing as I have a week off from exams and stuff I'll probably have another update by the end of the week...hopefully. 


	17. Home

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun.  
  
Note: Well here we are for the 17th chapter, never ever thought I would write something that would last this long, but amazingly it has and I've had fun writing it. Anyway I'm so sorry for the long wait...I have no excuses really.  
  
Thanks to reviewers:  
  
Dark-pyro-angel-2 - Thanks for your review, I can't believe I actually have a fan. Anyways you are a good writer and you'll get a lot better with practise. Its taken me eight years to get as good as I am now ever since I wrote my very first story which was about an armadillo who was searching for his sister. So yeah...if there's hope for me there is hope for you as well, just don't lose faith and keep writing! Thanks again and I hope you enjoy this next chapter.  
  
Blue and TK - I'm glad you liked the part about the necklace, I thought it was quite a sweet gesture to Wolfwood seeing as he hasn't been mentioned in my story much. I just wanted to show that Millie hasn't forgotten him or anything. I'm thinking about writing another fic with Wolfwood in it sometime in the not too distant future. Anyway thanks for your review.  
  
Darkraven -I'm glad you liked those little scenes; I really wanted to give more depth to Meryl's character so I added a troubled background to help with that. I was pleased with the way it turned out. Thanks for your review.  
  
Rukato86 - Yup exams totally get on my nerves, glad you liked the last chapter and I thought I should put a little more angst into the last chapter since its been pretty happy for a while which is unusual for me. Thanks for your review.  
  
Magnet-Rose - Thanks for your review and I'm glad you still like it, hope you enjoy this chapter too.  
  
White Ninja Spy - Vash and Meryl getting married...that wasn't something I had thought about but I'll keep it in mind and maybe I'll put in a wedding somewhere just for you. Hope I updated soon enough and thanks for your review.  
  
SapphireWhiteTiggress - Yeah me either...I'm a bit nervous about writing that part but hopefully it will be okay. Thanks for your review.  
  
Silverado6000 - I wanted to add more depth to Meryl's character to make her a little more interesting so I gave her the angst background, I thought I had better put in the little fact about her writing to her family because otherwise it wouldn't have made sense for people who had seen the episode where she does actually write home. I'm glad you liked the Knives POV they are by far my favourites so there will be more in this chapter as well. The part with Ashley was also fun to write and I'm glad you are still enjoying it. Thanks for your review.  
  
Allam - Thanks for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed it and here is your update, I hope you enjoy it.  
  
AnimeMVW - Thanks for your review and here is your update  
  
Neptune Butterfly - Yeah I thought I better mention Wolfwood properly in the story because I've only mentioned him once or twice. I thought that would be the best way to get Millie's feelings across and be able to slowly move on from him. Yeah I guess Meryl will bump into her family, just not sure when that'll be. Maybe I'll put that in this chapter. Well thanks for your review!  
  
Tiff - Here is the update, and your right I have no excuse but don't worry I will try to be as quick as possible with my updates without rushing them. I think I'm starting to get better at that. Thanks for your review.

* * *

Chapter 17 - Home  
  
Meryl's POV  
  
I drove along a difficult track, which was anything but straight. It wound through a difficult ravine, which led to the city of December where the Bernadelli Insurance Company was situated; it was also where I lived in my small apartment, which was not far from Millie's large and comfortable family home. I guess she needs a large house because of all the family that stay there with her. Come to think of it the only people that live there fulltime are her parents and two of Millie's brothers as well as a sister. The rest seem to visit often enough to appear to live there but it must be nice to be surrounded by so many loving people.  
  
The suns appeared from behind the ravine as I swerved the car around a tight bend and finally out into the open desert, which was the last stretch before home. I was momentarily blinded by the powerful afternoon rays and had to close my eyes halfway to be able to see anything at all. My hair was blowing back from my face and made me feel suddenly more free than I had ever been before. So this was the joy of travelling that I had never noticed before...or maybe it was because I was going home. Perhaps my family had changed, maybe they would welcome me...but I found myself seriously doubting that it could ever happen.   
  
I caught Vash looking at me his face lit up with one of those beautiful smiles, which weren't fake or pained at all. He was genuinely happy and seeing him that way made me completely content, the worry of family forgotten in the comforting pools of his eyes.  
  
"So who is staying with me at my house?" Millie chirped up from the back.  
  
"I will!" Ashley called straight away but added, "If it's okay with mom and dad that is." She grinned and I couldn't keep the blush, which invaded my face at the comment, and I didn't dare look at Vash in case it got worse.  
  
"It's fine with me." I managed to say after an awkward silence and Ashley whooped with joy.   
  
"I can't wait to meet your family Millie." She continued and I noticed the sparkle in Millie's eyes and smiled happily. It seemed this move hadn't been such a bad idea after all if it was steadily returning Millie to her old self, could she finally be getting over Wolfwood? Was it even possible to get over someone you loved?  
  
"So what about you Meryl?" Millie invaded my thoughts.  
  
"I was just going to go back to my apartment, it's not far from you anyway." I replied quietly.  
  
"Okay that sounds good, so Mr. Vash will be staying with you then I suppose." Millie grinned and my blush deepened and I made sure to keep my eyes fixed on the road.  
  
"Mr. Knives?" Millie continued and I was glad that no one was paying attention to me anymore. Knives who had remained quiet this whole time seemed to be knocked from his thoughts at the question.  
  
"What?" He asked, obviously clueless to what we had been talking about.  
  
"Will you be staying at my house or with Mr. Vash?" Millie spoke patiently.  
  
"Well I'm hardly going to go and stay with those two am I." Knives sneered, "I'm sure they wont want me around spoiling their fun." I ground my teeth together to try and stop myself from yelling at him, the blush of embarrassment flaring up on my face so badly I was surprised that no one had commented on it.  
  
Maybe it would have been less embarrassing if what Knives had said contained truth, but quite frankly the thought of taking the relationship with Vash further hadn't crossed my mind. I had been completely happy with the way things were, and I was partly afraid of taking things further, actually I was terrified. Vash hadn't mentioned anything about it so I thought that perhaps he felt the same which now sounds stupid considering the way he acted around women in the early days when I thought he was a complete idiot. He was probably getting annoyed and frustrated but didn't have the heart to tell me and simply let me believe things were okay. Embarrassment was replaced with grief as I drove down the straight and dusty track towards the city.  
  
By the time we reached Millie's house both Ashley and Vash had fallen fast asleep, Knives looked like he was about to explode with irritation at being stuck in the car with a very excited Millie. As for myself I have to say I wasn't as nervous as I had first been about the prospect of going home and I was looking forward to seeing Millie's family even though that would have to wait until tomorrow. I just wanted to get to my own apartment and rest after the long journey and I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one.  
  
I looked over at Vash from the corner of my eye and smiled slightly, the thoughts of what Knives had said earlier dragging through my mind again and again. He was leaning against the inside of the door his legs stretched out as far as possible and one arm tucked behind his head to act as a pillow. His face looked completely relaxed and almost golden in the setting suns and his mouth was slightly open revealing a glimpse of white teeth. His hair had fallen from its usual style and fell about his face and danced in the light breeze causing pale shadows on his skin. He was so beautiful in sleep that he simply took my breath away.   
  
So beautiful...  
  
How is it possible that a man such as him could love someone like me? This question has been running through my head long before I told him my true feelings, it was the question that stopped me from wording them in the first place. I was not the type of woman he normally chased after, the tall busty ones with long and perfectly styled hair, pretty clothes and eyes that gave the look I like to call; "bed eyes". So how is it that his type of women had changed so drastically that he decided to be with me? It didn't make sense at all.  
  
I was snapped from my thoughts by Millie and her family who were all hugging each other and talking excitedly. Knives was standing beside her and I couldn't help but feel slightly panicked as he was included in the welcomes. He wasn't one to enjoy hugs from people. Ashley was already chatting away to Millie's father about something and I glanced over at Vash again who was still asleep and couldn't help but smile.   
  
Millie's mother Rose - who was known as 'mom' to virtually everyone - spotted me in the car and waved happily and I knew I wasn't going to get away without saying a few hellos. I waved back cheerfully and leaned forward to wake Vash. I grabbed his shoulder and shook him gently watching as his face creased into a slight frown, he muttered something incoherent before finally opening his eyes.  
  
"Vash lets go and say hi to Millie's family." I smiled at him and he looked at me sleepily, his mind taking its time to register what I had just said.  
  
"Oh right...Millie's family...say hello...let's...go." He got out of the car and stretched, his back arching slightly and arms raised up to the sky as if to embrace it. I jumped from the seat wobbling on legs that had fallen asleep from being in the same position for a couple of hours and made my way over to the house.  
  
"Hey wait for me!" Vash called as he ran to catch up and walk beside me, I looked up at him and smiled, I felt strangely happy.

* * *

Normal POV  
  
Meryl found herself embraced Millie's mother Rose who was almost as tall as her youngest daughter. Meryl smiled, this place was always so comforting and for a brief moment she wondered whether her mother would have ever hugged her like that. Her heart sank a little at the realisation she didn't even know what her mother had looked like.  
  
"Meryl, you look well." Rose said as she finally released the smaller girl from her embrace. "How have you been, Millie been giving you trouble?"  
  
"Never, but yes I'm good." Meryl laughed and looked over at Millie who was disappearing into the house with her father and Ashley.  
  
"And who is this handsome young man?" Rose turned to Vash who laughed sheepishly from where he stood behind Meryl.  
  
"Oh him...that's Vash." Meryl replied,   
  
"So you are the person Millie told me about in her letters." Rose continued and stepped around Meryl to shake his hand kindly.   
  
"In that case you most likely know what a wimp he is." Meryl laughed and started into the house.  
  
"Yes she might have mentioned something." Rose smiled and followed her inside leaving a stunned Vash standing in the street.  
  
"Wimp?" He murmured to himself..."Hey!" He ran into the house after the two women.   
  
They somehow managed to pile into the lounge where Rose and her husband Max were trying to find a seat for everyone. Millie sat next to Ashley and her mother on the large couch whilst Knives stood by the door. Millie's two brothers who had not yet been formally introduced sat on the floor in front of their father to make room for Meryl and Vash.   
  
"It's so good to have our little girl home with us." Max smiled joyfully as he watched over the large group that had collected. Millie's big sister then chose that time to come down into the room and once again the hugs and excited chatter started up again.   
  
Meryl felt her heart warm to the realisation that not everyone in this world was cruel. She had started to forget that fact from being with Vash for so long and seeing how horrible everyone was to him. Tears gathered in her eyes but she wasn't quite sure whether they were ones of sadness or happiness, either way it wouldn't have mattered much. The noise of everyone talking seemed strange, the happy tones unusual and the warm atmosphere completely comforting. She knew she hadn't planned to stay for long but the house just didn't seem to want to let her leave.   
  
"I expect you're all very tired." Rose spoke up.  
  
"Mom is it alright if Ashley and Mr. Knives stay with us here? I know its always a little crowded but there isn't much room back at Meryl's place.   
  
"I'm sure it'll be fine. Your cousin Matthew left to go travelling for a while so Mr. Knives can have his room, and maybe Ashley can stay with you in yours." Rose looked overjoyed at the prospect of having more people in her home. Then the introductions started again this time a little more organised.  
  
"You all remember Meryl." Millie spoke up and Meryl nodded and smiled a little shyly at having everyone looking at her. "This is Ashley, I guess you could say that she is Vash and Meryl's daughter." Millie winked at the girl who giggled and nodded.   
  
"Daughter?" Rose seemed shocked.  
  
"Oh not their biological daughter, but adopted doesn't sound right either, since they never adopted her." Millie trailed off as she became a little confused about how to explain the situation and ignored the embarrassed looks from the gunman and the insurance girl.   
  
"They rescued me and I stayed with them." Ashley said.  
  
"Ah I see, well that explains it." Rose smiled.  
  
"This is Knives who is Mr. Vash's twin brother." Knives noticed how she left out the 'Mr' again but assumed it had to be a simple mistake. "Mr. Vash is the person we have been following around for a while."  
  
"Oh yeah, the wimpy guy!" One of Millie's brothers interrupted and everyone burst into laughter at the look of disbelief on Vash's face.  
  
"Everyone I would like you to meet my big brother Martin." Millie pointed out the boy who was still grinning from his comment. "And that one there is my big big brother Shane.  
  
"Well I better go and start making some food for you all...Meryl will you and Vash be staying with us to eat?" Rose asked kindly, the smile crinkling her eyes.   
  
"I'm sorry, I'd like to but I really want to get home, I'm more tired then anything." Meryl admitted shyly, she didn't like to turn down Millie's mother but she was finding it difficult to keep her eyes open.  
  
"Well if you're sure."  
  
"Vash can stay though, except someone will have to show him to my place afterwards." Rose nodded and turned to look at the tall gunman who was busy explaining to Martin that he only acted like a wimp and really he was a macho kind of guy.

* * *

Vash's POV  
  
I was just starting to get through to the boy when I was interrupted at hearing my name being mentioned and looked over my shoulder to see Meryl and Rose standing by the door.  
  
"Did someone mention me?" I asked as I strode over to where the two women stood.  
  
"Yes, Meryl said that you can stay to eat with us while she goes back home, that is if you don't mind being shown to her home afterwards. It's not a long walk."   
  
I looked over at Meryl who was standing by the door, her fingers curled around the door handle and her head bowed slightly so that her hair drooped in front of her eyes. I knew she was waiting for my answer and I guessed that she expected me to stay. After all it had been a few hours since I had last eaten and I was pretty hungry, but did I want to leave Meryl to go home alone?   
  
"Well I..." I trailed off as Meryl opened the door to leave and in a second she was gone without so much as a word.  
  
"Is she okay?" Rose asked.  
  
"To be honest I don't know; she's a little nervous about being back."  
  
"She told you about her family then?"  
  
"Yes, are they really as bad as she says they are?"  
  
"Well I don't really know them that well but they aren't the friendly type you stop in the street to talk to. I don't think I have ever seen her father smile and her brothers hardly ever speak." Rose pondered for a moment, "I guess they like to keep to themselves."  
  
"Maybe." I murmured thoughtfully. "Well it's been fun but I better go. See ya round!" I waved and stepped out of the house and into the cool air of evening.  
  
The stars looked beautiful as always and the moons shone delicate light onto the ground and bathed everything in its silver glow. Meryl was in the car already and seemed to be waiting for something; maybe she had expected me to come out after all.   
  
I strode over and suddenly realised that the only reason she hadn't driven away was because she was trying to wipe tears from her eyes. I wondered what could be bothering her, and thought that it was most likely the family thing again.   
  
I opened the door and got in the seat beside her, pretending not to notice that she had been crying. I knew her pride wouldn't let me comfort her, she would say that there was nothing wrong and I shouldn't worry, and she might even hit me if she was really annoyed.   
  
"You could have stayed you know." Her voice was surprisingly soft.  
  
"I'd rather be with you, besides it was getting a bit crowded in there." I smiled, trying to lighten the atmosphere. She didn't look up.  
  
"So are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" I asked gently as she started up the car. Yeah I know I said I wasn't going to say anything but hell she was upset and I couldn't just sit here and ignore it.  
  
"Nothing was bothering me, I'm just tired. You shouldn't worry so much about me." She sighed wearily.  
  
"Meryl..."  
  
"Will you listen to me for a change? There's nothing wrong, everything is fine so be quiet." With that she turned her attention back to driving but that comment had not made me worry any less. I knew there was something wrong; I mean it was obvious, so why was she shutting me out?  
  
I gave up and sat back in the seat and watched her, she seemed a lot tenser then she had been before and her brow was creased into a slight frown, her eyes narrowed very slightly. She looked ready to kill and if I opened my mouth and said something stupid I probably would have been her first victim. Her hair fluttered behind her and she bit at her bottom lip nervously when suddenly she drew the car to a shuddering halt and looked at me harshly.  
  
"What are you staring at me like that for?" She snapped and I held my hands up in instant surrender.  
  
"You...uhh..." think Vash think you idiot! Say something that will make her happy, "I was...just thinking..."  
  
"Did it hurt?" She interrupted coolly...  
  
"Did what hurt?" I questioned and she rolled her eyes and got out of the car. "Now where are you going?"  
  
"Inside." She replied and I realised that we must have arrived and quickly followed her, not wanting to be left outside in the cold which is where I would have been if I had been any slower.  
  
She paused in the doorway as she swung the door open and peered inside as if she expected it to be completely trashed or something but as I had expected it was neat and tidy. It was a complete reflection on the organised woman who lived there. The room looked small but strangely beautiful and all around were little things that made me smile and reminded me so much of her.   
  
There was a desk in one corner, which was piled high with forms, which had collected dust over the months and a spare cloak was hung over the back of the chair. Meryl sighed and stepped into the room and waited patiently for me to enter, she then closed the door with a soft click and looked up at me with a strange look in her violet eyes.  
  
"There's not much to see really, the kitchen is through that door and the bedroom is in through there, the bathroom is down that small corridor there next to the store cupboard." She pointed them out and I nodded and turned to look at her again. She was looking at seemingly nothing, her eyes unfocused and distant and I tried to think what could be wrong with her.   
  
Nothing I could say was going to make her happy, it would just provoke her into building up more barriers around the problem. Whatever it was she didn't want me to know and that scratched out it being the possibility of family problems considering I already knew about them.   
  
"Meryl..." My voice was quiet and she seemed to snap back to reality as she swivelled her head round to look at me, her eyes focusing in on mine. Before I realised I was doing I was reaching out and wrapping my arms tightly around her, holding her tighter than I had ever done before.  
  
She shifted slightly to rest her head against my chest before wrapping her arms fiercely around my waist, a soft sob filling the otherwise quiet room. I reached up and ran my fingers through her silky hair before holding her closer still. It had felt like the right thing to do and at least she had stopped pretending there was nothing wrong.

* * *

Normal POV  
  
Meryl felt slightly better wrapped in the safe circle of Vash's arms, one arm wrapped around his wait and the other reaching up to rest just below his shoulder blades. She was clinging to him as if she was stopping herself from falling into an endless pit; he was her rock against all suffering, someone to cuddle up with and feel safe. Just when she needed him to hold her he had done just that, as if he knew exactly what she needed, or maybe it was simply because he couldn't think of anything to say.  
  
The small sob that escaped her throat came from part relief at finally feeling safe and warm and partly because of the thoughts, which had been taunting her. It was only when she felt the soft touch of his hand on her cheek that she pulled away from him slightly to look up into his eyes. They were warm and full of love - as always - but there was something else in them too, a need to understand, a desire to help...'could he really be that worried about me?' Meryl thought; her heart swelling with love for him with every passing second.  
  
"I'm sorry." She said and released him before looking around. "There won't be anything to eat here and I don't know if any store will be open at this time so..."  
  
"I can wait until tomorrow." Vash replied quickly so as to wash any doubt from Meryl's mind.   
  
"Okay but I'll wake up early and go to the store first thing tomorrow." She stretched and yawned before walking further into the room with Vash following behind.  
  
"I'm tired so I'm going to go to bed now." She announced wearily as she headed for the bedroom, its door hanging slightly ajar.   
  
"Where will I be sleeping?" Vash asked tentatively and watched as Meryl flinched at the question.   
  
'Could it be possible that this was what was worrying her?' He thought and wondered whether he should ask her. She turned around slowly and forced a smile onto her face, which he could tell was fake.  
  
"Umm, I'll get some blankets from the wardrobe." She replied nervously and he nodded, he had expected that answer but not in the way she had said it. She sounded like she had done something wrong by making him sleep somewhere other then with her. This sort of thing had never bothered her before and Vash found himself becoming worried that perhaps Meryl was regretting being with him.

* * *

Knives' POV  
  
These people were infuriating! Coping with one of them was bad enough but being here in Millie's home surrounded by all these overly happy people started to get on my nerves. What could they possibly find to be happy about all the time? Don't any of them ever feel sad? That seemed a stupid question really because deep down I knew that Millie was in fact still grieving over Wolfwood. This became apparent by the way she had acted that time when we were packing. It bothered me that she was still attached to that dead man...but I still can't figure out why.  
  
It was quite late by now and the house had finally fallen into complete silence except for the light sound of snoring. For some reason I couldn't sleep and it was starting to bother me slightly so slipping silently from the room I was staying in I walked down the stairs and into the lounge. It looked so much larger now that it was empty of people but the homely feel was still there. It was unlike any home I had seen before, it seemed that all the cushions on the chairs had been stitched with love. The walls seemed to hold in them warm and happy memories as if the whole building was created by them.  
  
What the hell am I thinking?!  
  
A slight sound behind me caught my attention and I swung round to see Millie coming down the stairs and into the kitchen. Her hair was once again tied back by a pale ribbon and her eyes still vibrant with life even though she was usually fast asleep by now.  
  
"Hello Mr. Knives, what are you doing down here so late?"  
  
"I could ask you the same thing."  
  
"I couldn't sleep."  
  
"Me either." I admitted after a pause.  
  
There was an awkward silence before she continued to talk in her normal happy way.  
  
"I guess it's being at home with all my family, I'm too excited to sleep. I never knew how nice it was to be back home with them, I missed it more than I thought...I wonder how long we will be staying here, I hope we don't have to rush off." She paused and looked up at me, her azure eyes finding mine and I blushed very slightly, I hadn't realised I had been staring at her the whole time.  
  
"You could just stay here." I said.  
  
"And leave Meryl, Mr Vash and you? No I couldn't do that."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because you are my friends and travelling with all of you is so much fun."  
  
"Millie..." I hadn't meant to say her name but it just slipped out before I could stop it. "Doesn't travelling around like that remind you of Wolfwood?"  
  
"I suppose so, but I don't want to forget him."  
  
"Even if remembering causes you pain?"  
  
"Oh Knives, it doesn't always cause pain, when I think of him now I feel happy."  
  
"Happy?"  
  
"Yes, I can be happy that I met him and think about all the times we shared, they are very precious memories."  
  
"I suppose so."  
  
She laughed then, a pleasant sound that ran lightly around the room and warmed the atmosphere. I looked at her, startled at why she would laugh at my reply, had it been wrong or sounded funny...I hadn't meant it to.  
  
"What's so funny?" I asked and she looked at me with a strange sparkle in her eyes.  
  
"You're so serious all the time."  
  
"Is that so bad?"  
  
"No, it's who you are and you're a great listener."  
  
"Well everyone has one talent." I shrugged.  
  
"You have more than just one Knives, you make out you're this cold hearted person who doesn't have any feelings at all but in fact you are quite sensitive."  
  
"Sensitive?"  
  
"Yes, you care a lot about your brother, I can tell. It's not just that though...when I look at you I don't see the bloodthirsty murderer that killed hundreds of people, I just see a man who has been misunderstood and badly treated by people."  
  
"How could you possibly know that?" I snapped, for a moment she looked slightly nervous.  
  
"I don't know really." She gave a tense laugh and took a few steps towards the stairs.  
  
"Wait!" It sounded like a desperate plea instead of the order I had wanted it to be.  
  
She turned her head back to look at me with those glassy, innocent eyes and I felt something twinge deep inside me.   
  
"What is it Knives?"  
  
"I'm sorry for yelling like that." I was apologizing?! When the hell had I started saying sorry for my actions?   
  
"It's okay, you just don't like people getting to know the real you." She smiled at me, "Just like your brother used to be...but Meryl changed that." A sudden idea lit up her face. "Maybe you need to get yourself a girl too." With that she dashed up the stairs leaving me standing completely speechless. Had she really just said what I thought she had?  
  
For a moment I stood and considered what she had just said to me...could it be possible that I was afraid of letting people know the real me? Yes, I decided...if people knew the real me then they would shout abuse and try to kill me as they had done with Vash. I didn't like pain that much so that idea didn't sound so good. Yet Millie wouldn't be one of those people, she already knew so much about me and yet she acted as if I was a friend and never treated me badly. I never knew a human like her existed and now I did I wasn't quite sure what to do.  
  
My theories about humans being nothing but unfeeling inferior beasts were slowly disappearing, especially when I was with that human...Millie. The feelings inside of me were getting on my nerves and I found myself wondering whether I should talk to Vash...after all he had been around these humans much longer than me. Maybe he could explain what I was feeling, but did I want to share something like this with him?   
  
I returned to my room to let the confused darkness consumed me.

* * *

Well that's the end of this chapter, anyway I apologise for the long wait. I wrote this chapter a few days ago but when I read through it to check for mistakes there were parts I hated so I spent a lot of time editing them and still wasn't happy with it after. But I thought I had better not keep you all waiting any longer and left it as it was.

'Love and Peace'


	18. Kiss

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun.  
  
Note: Okay I've decided I will actually do a wedding for Vash and Meryl seeing as two people have asked me now. I wasn't going to, seeing as I'm not really a wedding person and wasn't interested in making Vash or Meryl either, but as I'm writing for you lot then I want to make you happy. It probably wont be in this chapter though...I might save it for the very last one.  
  
Thanks to reviewers: (I got 18 reviewers, wow that's my new record so a double thanks to everyone)  
  
Pyro - No need to thank me for reviewing your fics. They were all so good and trust me when I say that. You definitely have a lot of pure talent and with a bit of practise you will be one of the best. Yes Knives is in love whether he admits it or not...guess I'll have to give him a little push in the right direction. Thanks for your review.  
  
Blue and TK - Aww poor TK seems to be getting a little emotional Yes I am doing a Wolfwood story soon...I'm not sure how it'll turn out though seeing as I haven't read a single story based on him yet...I must get round to doing that. I was thinking about doing a two part fic where he comes back to Millie in a dream or something...but I'm not sure if that's been done already so I think I'm going to go lurk in the Wolfwood fics for a bit. About Meryl being a plant, a couple of people have asked me about that and I'm going to extend a bit on her abilities soon, although I'm still not sure how far I will take them. Thanks for your review, as always it made me laugh.  
  
Magnet-Rose - Yeah it really does suck when things just don't come out the way you want them too and you keep writing it again and again. It was stressing me out on the first re-write so I don't want to imagine what it would be like writing it five times. You have much more patience then me that's all I can say. I'm glad you liked it and I couldn't resist putting in that 'wimp' comment about Vash. Thanks for your review. As always it is much appreciated.   
  
SapphireWhiteTiggress - Ahh -hides- not Kuroneko anything but that. Anyway here is your update and thanks so much for your review.  
  
Silverado6000 - Thanks so much for your review, I'm glad you still like it and I think my spontaneous nature is probably what helps this story along. It seems to work anyway so I'll keep it up. I'm glad you liked my Meryl's POV I was actually going to start with a Knives' POV but I'm glad I stuck with Meryl. I'm glad the background wasn't a bit over the top or anything because that did worry me a bit. The scene with Millie's family was the most difficult to do. I got so confused with names and people that I had to double-check it to make sure I hadn't got anybody muddle. It was a lot of fun though and I'm glad it went well. I find Vash's POVs usually quite hard to write. I don't know why but I think it's because he is such a complex character with many different sides to him it is hard to distinguish whether he would be the serious or goofy guy or a mixture of both. It's very confusing. I think I'm being very mean to Knives really, putting him through all that mental torment...but it just seemed fitting, he seems a character who would like to think things through and not say anything to anyone. He is definitely my favourite character to write and I didn't put as much of him in the last chapter so I'll make up for it in this one. Thanks so much for all your kind comments and I hope that this chapter is just as good.  
  
NinaWilliamsTheSilentAssassin - wheeee thanks so much for your review, it made me really happy. I updated as fast as possible just for you cos I don't want you to die, so I hope you like it. I guess Meryl will have to tell him that won't she, I mean hell yeah. That's a great idea. I might quote you for when Meryl tells him. Thanks again and enjoy.  
  
Rukato86 - Yeah...I have...-counts- four exams to go but never mind; I can wait a little longer for total freedom. Glad you liked my last chapter and thanks for your review.  
  
Sasssieygirl - I'm glad you like the Knives/Millie pairing, I've learned to love them too, I think they are so cute together and I know what you mean by Vash and Meryl but there is something about that couple I adore as well. Finishness in my dictionary is a word, and even if my dictionary isn't accurate then no matter that's something I'll deal with later ; Don't worry, mindless chatter is always the best, so I hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks for your review.  
  
Tiff - Ooooo cookie -gnaws on the cookie- well thanks for your review, and I know that sometimes I reject this story but I promise it won't happen again...and yeah 17 chapters...wow that's pretty amazing for me seeing as I've only ever finished one story in my whole entire life and that only came to 97 pages...this one has already reached 158. Anyway that was pretty pointless information for you...now I'm just chatting on about nothing...okay thanks for your review!  
  
Lyn - This story is way too fun to abandon so don't worry about that. Yeah I liked the Ashley part too, it's just so fun making Meryl and Vash get all embarrassed. Don't worry I'm sure all the angst will finally give in to romance, I just can't help putting it in, I always love writing angst. If it's a wedding you want it's a wedding you get, not sure when it'll be though so keep your eye out. Thanks for your review.  
  
Dustdragon - Glad you liked the chapter, and those parts were my favourites too so I'm glad you liked them. Thanks for your review.  
  
Veilinglife - Yeah when I went back to edit some of my older chapters I realised that I left that part out...I felt so stupid as well but the problem is I can't really remember why I mentioned it now. I know it was supposed to be something important but because it has been so long, I forgot. My memory is really really bad, I do things like that all the time. Maybe I could include it in one of these chapters...but I'm no sure if it'll be too late. Thanks for your review and I'll get thinking about the whole jewel thing.  
  
Sharpshooterjane - Yeah I know what you mean with the change of views, I sometimes get confused with them as well, which is why I try and connect them the way I do. Thanks for your review it is much appreciated.   
  
Neptune Butterfly - You're continuing your story? Ahh! I must read it! I'll be waiting for it. Thanks for your review and I'll try to make the whole situation with Meryl ease out in this chapter. Thanks again!  
  
Darkraven - Yeah Knives has been getting a lot of sympathy lately, the poor guy. Oh well maybe I'll be easier in this chapter...maybe.  
  
ICENFS - Thanks for your sweet review and here is your update.  
  
Bigunit94 - Thanks for your review, it's much appreciated and here is your update.  
  
Davis45108 - Millie and Ashley let her out, I'm assuming...although I couldn't find that part so I can't quite remember. I'm glad you like the story and thanks for your review.

* * *

Chapter 18 - Kiss  
  
Vash's POV  
  
I was dragged from my peaceful sleep by a soft sound that floated quietly around the room. Opening my eyes I glanced at an unfamiliar wall and rolled over to look at an even more unfamiliar room.   
  
Rubbing at my eyes with my palms I sat up and glanced around before finally remembered where I was. Lying down on my back I shut my eyes to try and go back to sleep, there was a comfortable warmth in the room and sleep would have been easy if the same soft sound hadn't interrupted the silence again.  
  
My attention was turned to the bed on the other side of the room, that one corner had been veiled in a blanket of foreboding darkness and I shivered slightly. Even the moons' rays could not reach the corner and carefully I sat up again and swung my feet out of the side of the bed.  
  
She was crying again but trying so hard not to make a sound that it was painful to listen to. I needed to help her and if she refused to talk to me then there was no way I could. gently I stood up and watched the patterns of the moons dance and skitter across the floor from being filtered through the lacy curtain that was flapping at the window.  
  
As I neared the side of the bed I could see her; a darkened shape huddled up in the blankets, her face buried into the pillow and her hands clutching the blankets. Being as gentle as I possibly could I sat on the edge of the bed and watched her for a few moments. Her sobs had stopped and she had gone rigid from realising I was no longer asleep.  
  
"Meryl..." My throat felt tight from the tears, which I was managing to hold back and I waited patiently for her to answer. The silence lasted longer and longer and I realised that her answer would never come, she was hoping I would go away but no...there was no way I was leaving her. Even being on the other side of the room was too far apart for my liking.  
  
Carefully I stood up again and tugged the blanket out of her grip before sliding in beside her. I paused for a few seconds before snuggling closer to her ignoring the tension that built up in her muscles. Reaching out I wrapped an arm around her trembling form and brought her to rest back against me.   
  
"Don't cry...please don't cry." I murmured as I brought her back up against my chest and lowered my face to bury it against her neck. "Please don't cry anymore..."  
  
"I'm sorry." She whispered and shifted so that she was facing me, wiping at the tears, which were welling up in her eyes.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"For acting this way." She gave a sad little laugh "I don't even know why I'm doing it."  
  
"Are you sure about that?" I looked deep into her eyes and could see the sadness inside of them. Something was definitely bothering her.  
  
"Well, it was something Knives said in the car before." She admitted shyly and I thought I saw a trace of a blush on her face before she buried her head against my chest.  
  
What had Knives said to her in the car? He had been quiet for the most part...I tried to think of what it could be but failed miserably, I just couldn't remember.   
  
"What did he say?" I asked finally but she didn't answer and finally I drew her away from me and used one hand to tilt her head up to look at me. Her face was flushed and her expression was one of embarrassment and a sense of discomfort.  
  
"Well it was more of what he implied." She mumbled and I nodded, finally we were getting somewhere.  
  
"So what did he imply?" I asked and she tried to look away from me. Suddenly I remembered! "Are you talking about what he said when Millie asked him where he was going to stay?"  
  
Her eyes widened slightly as if she hadn't expected me to remember and then her mouth opened as if to reply but instead she lowered her gaze in what appeared to be shame. After a moment she nodded and tried to speak again but all that came out was a surprised cry as I crushed her against me in a tight hug. I couldn't believe that's what she had been so worried about and relief swept over me so fast I felt dizzy.   
  
"You should have spoken to me about it before."  
  
"I thought that you might be annoyed with me, because...well." She trailed off.  
  
"You think I care about any of that? Meryl for crying out loud I love you for who you are and not because of what I can get from you. It doesn't matter to me, and if you want to take things slow then that's fine." I grinned at the expression on her face, obviously she hadn't expected that answer.   
  
She was crying again, this time from relief and I pulled her against me again and let her rest in my arms, one of her arms hung around my waist whilst the other clung to my shirt. Her face was buried against my neck, her warm breath and tears tickling against my skin.

* * *

Normal POV  
  
Meryl felt much warmer than she usually did in the morning, it wasn't uncomfortable but the feeling was strange all the same. Opening her eyes slightly she was surprised to see nothing but a grey blur and for a moment she thought she was blind. She tried to move but found her legs were entangled with something; panic gripped at her. It was only when she managed to pull away slightly that she looked up into the calm face of Vash. His eyes were closed and skin smoothed over in relaxation, he was so beautiful in sleep just like she had seen him before in the car.   
  
She felt the luckiest girl in the world.  
  
For a long while she lay next to him watching him sleep and was content to do so all day if she had the chance. Sighing happily she moved closer and glanced up to see his eyes were no longer shut. They were open and clouded with sleep but beautiful none-the-less. She smiled shyly up at him and tightened her grip around his waist as he moved slightly.  
  
"Good morning." He mumbled sleepily as he yawned and tried to get his eyes to focus.  
  
"Morning."  
  
"What's the time?"  
  
"I don't know." Meryl sighed and Vash's stomach chose that time to speak up.  
  
"I think it's breakfast time." He grinned and received a smack round the head. "Ouch, what did I do this time?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"So I get hit for doing nothing?"  
  
"Yes." She grinned and reached up, kissing the corner of his mouth before untangling her limbs from his and sitting up. "So what do you feel like having for breakfast?" She asked as she slipped out from under the covers and stretched.  
  
"Do you really need to ask?"  
  
"Well no, just thought I'd be polite..." She grinned and ran a brush through her shoulder length hair, which glistened in the morning sunshine. After a moment she turned around and looked at him, he was sitting up, his blonde hair hanging around his face and bright aqua eyes fixed on her.   
  
"Well are you hungry or not?" She asked with a frown before reaching over and grabbing a towel from a pile and leaving the room. Vash sighed and flopped back onto the bed, clutching the pillow and burying his face into it.   
  
Life was good.  
  
Knives was awoken by the irritating sound of laughter down in the living room and growled angrily. He was beginning to wonder whether he should go live outside whilst they were here, at least he would get more peace.  
  
Mumbling irritably he got up and glanced out of the window, the suns were already climbing a steep angle into the sky, slicing into the ever-lasting blue and casting vivid light into the room. Running his fingers through his short, pale hair he glanced over at the folded change of clothes that he had left on a chair the night before and headed for the shower.   
  
The water did nothing to soothe his irritation and after getting changed into fresh clothes he headed back to his room. He didn't feel like going down into the lounge, which was no doubt filled with people, and he wondered whether it would be possible to sneak out unnoticed. Another loud burst of laughter made him sure that if he tried to escape he would be caught.  
  
Sighing he sat back down on the bed and glanced around the room, how had he ended up like this, in this house surrounded by all these caring and happy humans? He would never have believed this scenario in a million years...it was surprising how quickly he had changed.  
  
"Oh there you are Knives." A cheerful voice interrupted his thoughts and he raised his head to glare at Millie who had entered the room. "I was starting to think that you were going to sleep all day." She continued as she put down a pile of towels and turned to face him. "I expect you are hungry right?" She didn't seem to care that he never replied, "Well there is plenty to eat down in the kitchen, most of the others have gone out so if you want to go down when it's quiet I suggest you do it now."  
  
He looked at her curiously and nodded before standing up, not once taking his eyes from her. His blue orbs piercing into her own as they stared at each other for a moment.   
  
"I guess I will." He finally spoke and Millie nodded and led the way down the stairs.  
  
The kitchen was bright and much larger than any of the ones he had seen; it was fresh and extremely organised for such a busy household. Millie showed him where all the necessary things were and he paid attention without saying a word.  
  
"Most of the time there will be something quick you can just have, that'll usually be in the top cupboard there." She pointed it out. "The draws here have the knives and forks...things like that and this here is where the dry foods are stored. You can help yourself." She turned to look at him and he nodded silently.  
  
"I'm going to go and see Meryl later and see if they want to come round for dinner, do you mind?"  
  
"Why would I?"  
  
"Just asking, you don't have to get all defensive and suspicious." She laughed and shook a finger at him, "now, now don't put that frown on. You look much nicer without it." She scolded lightly.  
  
"I'll frown if I want to human."  
  
"Okay Mr. Knives..." Ignoring his cold comment she turned to the sink and busied herself with washing some dishes that had been left over from breakfast.  
  
Knives sat down and ate his food slowly, paying close attention to the woman in front of him. She was turned away; her long hair reaching halfway down her back was loose and waving in a slight breeze that was coming in through a small window. Her eyes were glossy with happiness and there was a young, refreshed vitality in her that shone brighter then the suns. When she started to sing quietly he found himself startled, she didn't seem to be the kind of girl to sing, but her voice - although clumsy - was beautiful and he found himself entranced by her.   
  
He was so taken in by her voice that when she stopped suddenly he found himself quite annoyed. Looking back up at her he noticed that she was looking down at her hand, her eyes, which had once been happy, were now pained.  
  
"What's wrong?" The question came before he could even think about stopping it.  
  
"Oh just me being clumsy again. My big big brother always said I had a knack for hurting myself." She smiled over at him.  
  
"Let me see." He stood up and crossed the room before reaching out to take her hand.

* * *

Knives' POV  
  
I cradled her hand in both of mine and watched the blood steadily drip from the gash she had made on her once perfect skin. For a moment I was lost in the flow of that red liquid, remembering the times when I had been the reason for so much blood loss in people. Now here I was helping this human woman to stop its natural flow.  
  
Looking around I spotted a small cloth hanging on the handle of a cupboard and grabbed it before pressing it to her wound, she gave a little gasp and bit on her bottom lip to stop the tears, which were quivering in her blue eyes.  
  
"Did it hurt?" I asked, cursing the soft kindness in my voice.  
  
"Just a little." She admitted and sniffled back the tears.  
  
"Do you have any bandages?"  
  
"Bottom draw." Her hand shook slightly.   
  
"Here hold this to your wound." I left her nursing the gash in her hand and knelt down to search for bandages which didn't prove too much of a task. Then I unwrapped a length of the material and began to wind it around her hand, being careful not to pull it too tight. "You'll need to go and have this checked up. It might need stitches." I told her and she nodded and smiled at me.  
  
That smile almost knocked me senseless and the whispered; thank you, sent my heart racing. We were too close for comfort, I could smell her perfume, which was sweeter then I ever remembered it being before.  
  
"Knives." I looked at her.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You can...let go of my hand now."  
  
"Oh right, sorry." I blushed instantaneously and dropped her hand looking at anything but her. What had I been thinking? Sometimes I think that I'm more like that idiot brother of mine then I'd like to admit. This was something that he would do...not me - not the stern, sensible brother.  
  
"Well I should go get this checked on." Millie spoke up and I nodded. "It's a good job you were here Knives."  
  
"It's nothing." I blushed.  
  
"Maybe, but thanks anyway."  
  
"Don't mention it..." I said awkwardly "I just did what anyone would ha-" My breath was knocked from me as she pulled me into a crushing embrace and I was surprised at how strong she was.  
  
"You're a good friend." She continued in her cheery way and I stood helplessly not being able to move.  
  
She looked up at me and I drew in a sharp breath, I had never been so close to anyone in my life, I was aware only slightly that her arms were still loosely around me and of the warmth that was spreading through me. Her eyes were bluer then I had ever seen them, so deep that I was drowning in them. My heart ached and a little voice in my head urged me to close the gap and in that brief moment when all rational thought was lost...I did.

* * *

Meryl's POV  
  
I sat opposite Vash, watching him with such affection I was pretty sure that if anyone looked at me they would be able to read me like a book. At one time I would have hid my feelings for this man behind barriers and barriers to stop people from knowing. Now I could finally let them out, those trapped emotions flying free and settling on the man who sat barely a meter away.   
  
As usual he was stuffing his face with one donut after another but I couldn't care less, he was with me...me not anyone else. My heart swelled with joy, and the thought that I would spend the rest of my long life with this man made things so much better.  
  
He paused in his eating and glanced up at me giving a sheepish grin and swallowing the last mouthful. "These are really good." He pointed at the box, which was now nearly empty and I nodded, a small smile creeping onto my face.   
  
"I can tell."  
  
"So what are you going to do today?" He asked and I leaned forward, cradling my head in my palm.  
  
"I need to stock up on things for the apartment so shopping most likely."  
  
"Shopping...great."  
  
"You don't have to be so sarcastic."  
  
"Well it's hard to be cheerful when I think about things like...shopping." He glared at the last couple of donuts.  
  
"Well do you really expect me to carry all the things I need by myself?"  
  
"Guess not." He was sulking, and I watched as he ate the last couple of donuts and crushed the box before throwing it in the bin from where he sat.  
  
I smiled at him, he could be so childish sometimes but he was so incredibly cute when he pouted like that. "Fine." I said as I stood up, he looked up at me with a startled look. "If you help me with the shopping I'll..." I trailed off and he looked up at me expectantly. "I'll buy you as many donuts as you can carry." I grinned 'how could he possibly think about eating more donuts after all the ones he just consumed a minute ago?' but none-the-less the bribe seemed to work. He regained his cheerful grin and instantly got to his feet before walking up beside me.  
  
"Well let's go." He said and I nodded and walked beside him, one arm linked with his. Things couldn't get much better than this, I was pretty sure of that and I wouldn't let anything take this away from me.  
  
"So where to first?" He asked completely oblivious to the fact that there were about fifty places I needed to go. Smiling secretly I led him down into one of the main streets.  
  
A few hours later saw Vash collapsed on a bench buried under bags of things that I had needed to buy.  
  
"Are you alright?" I asked sweetly as I loomed over him with a smile.  
  
"I think...I'm going to die." He whimpered.  
  
"You're such a baby."  
  
"And you're so mean." He forced himself to sit up. "I can't believe you brought so much stuff...is it even possible?" His eyes filled with tears, "And I didn't have the strength to carry even one box of donuts along with all this stuff."  
  
"Come on let's get back." I leaned down and picked up as many bags as I could, leaving Vash to struggle with the rest. The rest of the way home he complained about women and how they loved to shop and why I had refused to bring the car.  
  
"Well we're home." I said as I unlocked the door and walked into the room.  
  
"Thank...god." Vash staggered after me and collapsed in the open doorway. Laughing at him I stepped over his motionless form and picked up some of the bags before transferring them onto the table and going back for more.  
  
"Wouldn't it be more comfortable to lie on the couch rather then on the floor?" I looked down at him and he blinked and nodded slowly before standing up and sitting down again on the couch, his eyes falling closed and his taut muscles relaxing.  
  
I sidled over to him and sat down on his lap pressing a soft kiss to his throat and snuggling up against him. "I'm sorry for making you carry all of that." I murmured softly.   
  
"I guess I'll forgive you."  
  
"How sweet."  
  
"That's just the kind of guy I am." He smiled, his eyes remaining closed.   
  
"I love you." I murmured against his neck and his arms shifted to wrap around me.  
  
"I love you too insurance girl" I breathed in the sweet smell of his cologne and listened to his deep, rhythmic breathing and the sound of his heart beating beneath my hand.   
  
Things were perfect.

* * *

Normal POV  
  
Knives blinked as he pulled back from Millie, their faces hovering centimetres apart. His eyes were wide with shock; he couldn't believe he had actually...kissed her! The strange thing was that she hadn't resisted him at all. The kiss itself had been fleeting, shy and almost too gentle and brief to be called a kiss at all. But it had affected them both in a way neither of them felt possible.  
  
He pulled back suddenly, releasing her so quickly that she almost lost her balance. For a moment they stood staring at each other in disbelief. Knives swallowed and tried to say something...anything that would make this situation less uncomfortable. The worse thing was that the small kiss they had shared had awoken an emotion he never thought he could have.  
  
Without saying a word he dashed from the room and upstairs to sit in silence and think about what to do next. Millie watched him leave, completely stunned by his actions. One hand gripping the back of a chair whilst the other rose up to touch her lips. That teasing, feather-light kiss had been so powerful that it had left a tingling sensation on them.  
  
She pulled the chair out and walked round to sit down on it, her mind whirling with all the emotions that had been provoked inside of her. She hadn't felt like this for a long time, not since she had met Wolfwood. Tears gathered in her eyes as she sat alone in the kitchen and she let her head drop forward into her hands.  
  
"Millie dear, what's wrong?" Rose enquired as she entered the kitchen and knelt down beside the chair, stroking the long hair away from her daughter's face. Millie looked up, her eyes widened with shock.  
  
"I didn't know you were back?" She choked.  
  
"I only just got in...tell me what's wrong." Millie's mother begged.  
  
"Oh there's nothing wrong with me mom, I think its all the excitement of being home with my family and everything." Millie smiled as cheerfully as possible and got up from the chair. Her mother stood up as well and embraced her daughter in a tight hug.   
  
"We're glad to have you back as well but I have the feeling that's not all that is on your mind. You would tell me if something was bothering you won't you?"  
  
"Mom I've never kept anything from you before have I?"  
  
"No. You haven't...but I'm here to listen if you want me to." Rose smiled and looked down, noticing the bandage wrapped around Millie's hand. "Oh what have you done there?"  
  
"Cut myself on a knife when I was washing up."  
  
"Oh you silly thing, have you had it checked out?"  
  
"Not yet, I was going to go now."  
  
"I'll come with you then." Rose said and led her daughter to the door.  
  
Ashley had gone with Millie's big sister to the shops to buy some food for their dinner. They were planning on making it a big welcome home occasion for Millie and Ashley had instantly become good friends with the older woman.   
  
She was two years older than Millie and the second youngest child in the family and she bore a distinct resemblance to the insurance girl; the same cool blue eyes and honey coloured hair, which had been cut in such a way that it feathered around her face.   
  
"So Ashley, you said Vash and Meryl rescued you, were you in danger?" The woman continued.  
  
"Well in a way...I was a slave in some weird mine. Mom was captured as well and she saved me from getting hurt whilst we were in there. Dad was the one who broke us free." Ashley was getting used to referring to Meryl and Vash, as mom and dad and she liked having someone to refer to as her parents, it felt good to finally belong.  
  
"Your parents are very brave."  
  
"Kathy..." Ashley said quietly.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What's it like to have so many brothers and sisters?"   
  
"It can be a pain sometimes, but I have never been lonely and it's nice to have so many loving people around."  
  
"It must be nice, do you think mom and dad will have a baby?"  
  
Kathy laughed and smiled down at the girl, her eyes twinkling and her face pulled into the friendliest smile that reminded Ashley so much of Millie.  
  
"They might do, just give them time. A baby is something that doesn't come lightly in this world Ash...there is so much danger and then the expenses, it's not an easy thing to bring up a family."  
  
"I suppose so."  
  
"Don't be so down Ash...you never know what the future might bring." Kathy smiled as they reached the counter and paid for the food they had chosen. Then they left the cool shop to battle the intense heat of the suns as they soared high above them, the ground blistering beneath their feet.  
  
"Do you think Millie had a chance to ask mom to come for dinner?" Ashley asked as they headed through the busy street.  
  
"I'm not sure, she went to check on Mr. Knives as we were leaving so she might have done."  
  
"That's good, I wonder if they minded me staying with you instead of with them."  
  
"Why did you decide to stay at our house?"  
  
"I wanted to give them some time alone, they haven't had any since they got together. Plus I really like Millie, we've been through so much together and she's nice to be around."  
  
"Little sister tends to have that affect on people." Kathy agreed with a smile.  
  
The rest of the way home they chatted mainly about their families and Ashley got to know even more about Millie's brothers and sisters. It was only when they neared the house that they spotted Millie and Rose who were coming back from the doctor's. They met with a cheerful 'hello' and 'how are you' and Kathy made a great fuss over Millie's bandaged hand.   
  
"So have you asked Meryl and Vash to come round yet?" Kathy asked as they stood in the street.  
  
"Oh I completely forgot!" Millie exclaimed.  
  
"How about you go round now and Ashley and I will start on preparing the food. What do you say Ash, are you up for it?"  
  
"Definitely." Ashley jumped up and down and Rose laughed at her antics before continuing back to the house, leaving Millie to head in the opposite direction.

* * *

Knives POV  
  
I can't sleep...I try to but my mind is whirling and spinning so fast that it wont let me relax enough. So now I'm pacing in this tiny, stupid, pathetic human room wondering what the hell I'm doing. This place reeks of those humans, disgusting creatures that they are...and me...me of all people actually kissed one. That one stupid girl who caught me completely off guard.   
  
I stop in my pacing and glare around the room, it makes me sick...everything here makes me feel so sick that I just want to destroy it, destroy the humans who had made me look like an idiot. Then I would kill her, the woman who had crawled inside my head and messed around with my emotions, manipulating me and...possessing me to do such a thing.  
  
Vash would be pissed at me for breaking my promise to him, but he can rot in hell! I don't want to feel this way anymore, I don't want to be so damn confused that I don't know which is up or down. That Millie woman is the reason behind this, my crazed curiosity for that human has grown out of control and now I don't know who I am anymore.   
  
But, is the answer really to kill?  
  
Would that break my bond that I have built with that woman?  
  
In my heart I knew it wouldn't, she had already wormed her way inside of me...and was it possible...that I could actually have feelings for her that went beyond simple companionship? She hadn't rejected the kiss; she had been shocked but not disgusted. I had to laugh at that, Millie being disgusted didn't seem like something that was possible.  
  
I lay down to sleep...my head pounding from all the thoughts, which refused to give me a break. Rolling onto my stomach I buried my face into the pillow and sighed. That woman was driving me crazy.

* * *

Meryl's POV  
  
His breathing had long ago fallen into the deep rhythm of sleep and his arms had fallen limp around my waist. My cheek was pillowed against his chest just beside the grate that was embedded into his flesh, and I could hear his heartbeat reverberating in my skull. I snuggled closer.  
  
The shopping excursion had completely tired him out and I smiled slightly at how sweet he had been, going from one shop to the other just for me. I felt a little guilty about not getting him any donuts but it was about time he learnt to eat something else other than those sugary things that I had never liked that much.  
  
Shifting slightly in his lap I reached up and nuzzled into his neck, trailing light kisses over his throat and feeling the light pulse beneath his skin. He sighed softly and I couldn't help but grin as he tightened his grip around me.  
  
"Vash?"  
  
"What?" He asked sleepily.  
  
"Nothing, just wanted to see if you were awake." I replied and he opened his eyes and lowered his gaze to look at me.   
  
He grinned suddenly and pulled me closer, our faces only a couple of centimetres apart. My eyes found his in the blur of love that had enveloped us both, and my heart raced as he closed the small gap between us and kissed me. It started off gentle and innocent but quickly heated up as he turned, shifting me slightly round and pushing me back against the arm of the chair so that he was leaning over me.  
  
For a moment he pulled away and looked at me as if for permission to continue and I couldn't help but smile. He was too good to be true and I nodded very slightly and felt the warmth of his lips on mine once more. Here in the warm circle of his embrace, breathing in his familiar scent and feeling the gentle caress of his hand on my cheek I felt brave, braver than I had ever felt before. If he asked me whether I wanted to continue, I wouldn't be able to say no.  
  
A sharp knock on the door brought me crashing back to reality and grabbing Vash's shoulders I pushed him gently away, noting the confused look in his eyes. He obviously hadn't heard the knock.  
  
"Door." I muttered breathlessly as I stood up a little shakily and made my way over to let who ever it was inside.  
  
Millie's smiling face greeted me as I opened the door and I couldn't help but notice the distant look in her eyes.  
  
"I didn't know you would be coming round today." I said as I let her in and closed the door. "Do you want a drink?"  
  
"Yes if you don't mind Meryl. My family wants you and Vash to come to my house for dinner." Millie chirped and waved at Vash cheerfully as I turned to make some coffee. I had to admit I was a little disappointed about the interruption, but it couldn't be helped and there would be other times; plenty most likely.  
  
"That'll be good, you're family are really nice but you better check with Meryl." Vash replied and I turned to Millie and handed her the steaming mug of coffee and took a sip of my own.  
  
"I suppose we could, I haven't started on any food yet." I added, I wasn't really in the mood for cooking.  
  
"I expect you've been too busy with Mr. Vash." Millie nodded and I choked on the coffee violently, the heat of a blush spreading over my face. I caught Vash's mischievous grin and sent him the most evil look I could conjure. He flinched and directed his eyes back at Millie who was looking over at me with concern.  
  
"Are you okay Meryl, you should be careful drinking hot drinks like that, you could burn yourself." I nodded and tried to catch my breath.  
  
"I'll try, and yes we will come round." I smiled and hoped the blush on my face wasn't too noticeable.  
  
She nodded and sat down on the chair next to Vash, the same distant look in her eyes as I had seen before.  
  
"So how do you like December Mr. Vash?" She asked and I sat on the edge of the table and watched them.  
  
"It's very different, after living in that small town for so long a busy place like this is really exhausting."  
  
"I suppose so, but I didn't realise how much I liked this place, although I never used to live in a city when I was a child."  
  
"Where did you live?"  
  
"It was a very small village named Faith, I used to help my parents and siblings work on the fields, I really enjoyed that type of work."  
  
"So why did you move to the city?"  
  
"The village went downhill, our water supply was cut off and without it we couldn't survive or make anything grow so it was abandoned. We came here because it offered a lot of jobs and that's how I met Meryl."  
  
"Yeah." I smiled at the memory, "You asked for directions to the store, you wanted to buy pudding."  
  
"I was very hungry that day." Millie explained, "Then you helped me get a job at the insurance company"  
  
"They would have given you the job anyway Millie, all I did was show you where the building was." I laughed and took another sip of my drink.  
  
"You girls sure have been through a lot together." Vash said.  
  
"That's true, but I have no regrets, the decisions I have made have all worked out in the end." I said seriously and Millie nodded in agreement. Vash looked as if he was going to comment further but quickly decided against it and nodded. "I'm glad you two were chosen to follow me around." He grinned.  
  
I paused to think and look around at the three of us sitting here in my small apartment, finally I had achieved happiness, the love I had desired ever since I was small had been found in these two people.   
  
"So how has my brother been?" Vash asked curiously and I frowned as I saw Millie tense up and the distant look return to her eyes. There was something wrong with her and I was pretty sure now that it linked to Knives.   
  
"Uh I haven't really spoken to him today, well I better get going everyone will be wondering where I am. Thanks for the coffee Meryl, I'll see you later." She paused at the door and gave a small wave before leaving.  
  
I glanced over at Vash who was staring blankly at the door and sighed, there was something seriously wrong with that girl. It had seemed like she was finally getting over Wolfwood and now she was putting on false smiles again.  
  
"I'm worried about her." I murmured and heard Vash get up and approach me, his arms wrapping loosely around my shoulders.  
  
"She's a strong girl, she'll figure out a way to get through it." His mouth found its way to the sensitive skin just behind my ear.  
  
"I just wish she would tell me."  
  
"Hey don't worry, trust her judgement."  
  
"I do...but..."  
  
"Shh don't worry about that now." He said in a soothing voice and I sighed and leaned against him.  
  
"What now?" I asked trying my best to ignore the kisses he was pressing against my neck.  
  
"How about we carry on where we left off?" He suggested and I gave a small cry of surprise as he lifted me up off the ground.

* * *

I am so sorry for the long wait; I had my exams and my revision classes so I haven't had much time for writing. I'll get the next chapter out as soon as possible.  
  
Well anyway leave a review if you want and I'll get started on the next chapter right away. 


	19. Power

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, nor any of the characters...so yeah you get the idea.  
  
Note: Sorry I took so long but between completing Freedom and writing my one shot I kind of lost track of this one even though I have been just as excited to write the next chapter.

* * *

Thanks to reviewers:  
  
Arika: Thank you for all your very nice reviews, my first chapters aren't so good but I think most people agree my writing has improved a lot since then so I hope you find the most recent chapters even better. I'm glad you liked Ashley she's quite cute really, and is based on one of my friends. The date chapter was my favourite one to write...I think it was also the longest chapter simply because I had so much fun writing it. I thank you again for reading my fic and I do hope you enjoy the chapters that are to come.  
  
Rainy days: That smile definitely said more than words, thanks for that smiley review and I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much.  
  
Blu and TK oh and I suppose Knives as well: Thank you for yet another comical review. You never fail to make me laugh...and this one kept me laughing for...about two hours...any way I'm very sorry for that little kiss thing...I didn't enjoy writing it that much either which is why I kinda skipped the little part in the middle. Maybe I should have had a warning or something...I'll remember that for next time...anyway there definitely wont be any Knives/Millie kisses in this one so I think you are safe. Thanks for your review.  
  
SapphireWhiteTiggress: Ahhh please don't set those little kitties on me. I'm soooo sorry for not posting sooner...so yeah thanks for your review and here is your update.  
  
Sharpshooterjane: Thanks for your review; it means a lot to me that my writing isn't confusing people. Because sometimes when I do write things I get confused myself. Thanks again and I hope this proves to be a good and non-confusing chapter.  
  
ICENFS: Thanks for your review, it was very much appreciated and I hope you like this chapter just as much. As always I am here to please my reviewers.  
  
White Ninja Spy: Thanks for both of your reviews and I'm glad you are enjoying this. I love writing it so maybe it works both ways. I'm sure that one day in the non-too distant future Ashley will have a baby brother or sister.   
  
Pyro: Okay I'll keep the Knives going to Vash for help thing in mind. Ahh I can't believe that I spelled drawers wrong...the scary thing is when I checked through I never even noticed...but thank you so much for telling me since I used that word in the one-shot that I wrote and your correction made me double check the spelling of it. I always make silly little mistakes like those but I'm glad I had you to point it out so don't ever hesitate. Oh and on a random kind of note, the review you gave for the last chapter in Freedom was really cute and funny...well the part - and I quote - which said: 'I wanted them to make sweet gunsmokey love and have beautiful babies!' was funny. I put it on my msn messenger nickname and it brought up some strange conversations I can tell you. Anyway thanks so much for your review and I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
  
DailyMassacre: Don't worry I would never ever give up on this fan fic...I just tend to procrastinate a bit so it can take me a while to update. Thanks so much for your review...and don't worry being happy is good!  
  
Anonymous: Thank you oh mysterious reviewer and I'm glad you are enjoying it.  
  
Neptune Butterfly: I hope you find little Kuroneko...maybe you should check some random places...anyway I'm glad you liked all the fluffiness, and I guess I'm in another fluffy mood this time round as well so there might be more of it in this chapter. Thanks for your review.  
  
NinaWilliamsTheSilentAssassin: Oh yes everyone has to love the sweet but perverted gunman...for some reason that just makes him all the more attractive. And here is the update please don't die...otherwise I would cry and Vash would cry and...everyone would cry...even Knives! Thanks for your review.  
  
Vashluver1: Thanks for your review, you sound just like me I adore Vash/Meryl pairings and I don't think there is a fic on here that hasn't escaped me. I'm sorry I took so long with this chapter and I apologise for that considering I have no excuse really. I hope you enjoy it.  
  
MILLY: Yeah I know what you mean, most stories I have read with that pairing have been a little too OOC for me and I can't usually stick with them. I'm desperate not to do that though which is why I am going so slowly with the pair, and I agree that if any one would be able to bring Knives round it would be Millie. All the points you made were exactly how I think of this pairing also and I'm glad I'm not the only one. Your review was really nice and appreciated so thank you and I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
  
Rukato86: Yeah that kiss was very difficult to write; anyway thanks so much for your review and here is your update.  
  
Lyn: Yeah to tell you the truth I'm really nervous about writing the wedding since I'll probably make it awful, but I will definitely try my best. Thanks for your review and yes things are getting interesting.  
  
Darkraven: Yes Knives and Millie will be together eventually but they will be going slowly. Thanks for your review.  
  
Dueser: Yay you're reading this story, I know it's long but stick with it, my writing improves greatly - maybe not my spelling - but the detail gets better. Thank you so much for your comments and I agree that I preferred the way that Freedom started better, it was a little more original. I agree with the action and torture, I love writing that more than anything...don't ask me why though because I have no idea. Thanks for your reviews!  
  
Silverado6000: Don't worry about not reviewing sooner I don't mind and at least you got round to it in the end I'm glad you liked how I did things between Vash and Meryl I thought that since things have been a little stressful for them lately I would give them some time alone to relax...or do other things. I'm glad that you still think my view of Knives isn't OOC sometimes I get a little worried that I am taking his character a little too much towards the mushy side. Yeah I thought what better time than for Millie to come to the door when they are having that "quality time" together...I just love writing the interruptions, I don't mean to be cruel to my reviewers and I know how annoying they can be sometimes but I just can't help myself. Glad you liked the way I ended the chapter, I thought it was probably the best way to end it and since I'm not too comfortable with writing a lemon I thought I would leave it to the reader's imagination. I agree with building up to the wedding since I don't think it would be something either of the two would rush into, and I agree that it should be left till the very last moment. Thanks so much to your review, as always I look forward to it and it is very much appreciated. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I pretty much have planned what I am going to write so it should be pretty simple and the funny thing is the replying to reviewers usually takes longer than the chapter itself. Anyway I'll stop chatting and get on with it, thanks again!  
  
Meryl the Stampede: Thank you for your review; I love your penname by the way! Here is your update!  
  
Ximchan: That's all right, I'm just glad you liked the chapter, anyway here is your update.  
  
Steffanie: Wow you read all of them at once, that is amazing feat seeing as I tend to write quite a lot each chapter. Here is the next chapter and I hope t is just as good.   
  
Star-blue007: Thanks for your review, it means a lot to me  
  
Betsytheripper: Thank you so much for your review, I'm glad you like it and I'll try and update as quickly as possible from now on. So here is the next chapter and I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Chapter 19 - Power  
  
Meryl drew in a deep breath and filled her lungs with the scent of her lover, a smile curving the corners of her mouth as she wiggled around in his arms to embrace him fully, resting her head against his bare chest. Nothing else existed apart from him and she sighed in contentment.  
  
The sound of his breathing was soft and reassuring and much more comforting than silence and she tipped her head up to glance into his restful face. His eyes were closed, his brow smooth and mouth slightly open, just like she had seen him in the car on the way to the city. She reached up and stroked the golden strands that insisted to hang over his eyes, a tender smile on her face. How she adored him.  
  
She traced the line of his jaw and grinned as he shifted slightly to wrap his arms tighter around her slender frame.   
  
"So did you have fun?" He murmured softly and laughed as the woman in his arms blushed and tried to hide her face against the pillow. He dipped his face and nuzzled softly against her neck, breathing in the scent of her skin.  
  
"Vash..."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"What's the time?" Meryl asked quietly and Vash shifted slightly to get a better look at the clock.  
  
"Four." He replied lazily as he held her tighter and let one hand trace the scar along her back.  
  
She wriggled free from his grasp and looked at him sternly, "Vash we have to go round Millie's for dinner, remember?"  
  
"I'd rather stay here with you." He reached out for her again but she managed to evade his grip and scramble out of the bed.   
  
"We promised, Millie's family always has dinner at six so we still have time to get ready." Her stern glare made it quite clear that she wasn't going to back down and Vash nodded before rolling onto his stomach and burying his face into the pillow. 'Damn Millie and her wanting to involve us in her dinner plans' he thought.  
  
Meryl shook her head and grabbing a towel padded past him and into the bathroom. The warm water was a definite comfort and she spent a lot longer in the warm envelope of water and steam than she usually did. Raising her face to greet the droplets of water she felt completely relaxed. Things were going much better than she ever thought they would, her family were nowhere in sight and Vash seemed quite content to stay with her.   
  
Wrapping the towel around her she paused in front of the small bathroom mirror and tied back her dripping wet hair into a small ribbon so that it stayed out of her face.   
  
"You look cute with your hair up." A voice from behind her said. She jumped and whirled round angrily.  
  
"I thought I locked that door." She frowned.  
  
"Nope." Vash grinned and wrapped his arms around her so that she couldn't escape.  
  
"We have to get ready." She reminded him.  
  
"I know..." Vash sighed and released her hesitantly.   
  
"Listen, usually I would find some excuse not to go, but this is Millie and I feel that it's only right to accept her invitation." Meryl lectured, "She's our friend and it's the least we can do, plus I would like to see Ashley again and you can catch up with your brother...I'm still not completely sure of him so I think it's for the best."  
  
"I guess..."  
  
"Plus after today I will be going to see the chief at headquarters and explain to him about the situation. I will probably be working a lot after that and I wont have much time to spend with everyone."  
  
"Can't you just pretend you're somewhere else and not tell him you are back?"  
  
"No, I haven't sent a report in ages and it's about time I enlightened him on a few things."   
  
"Do you think you should tell him that I'm here?"  
  
"Well he'll figure it out on his own considering me and Millie are supposed to be watching you...I think I should tell him everything, maybe if I can make him see that it wasn't you who was doing all those bad things something can be done about your bounty..."  
  
"Tell him about Knives you mean?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No...I can't let anyone know about my brother being involved, I don't want him to be blamed. He would get angry if someone tried to hunt him down or throw him in jail."   
  
"So you'll continue to take the blame?"  
  
"If it means keeping my brother calm and out of danger then yes."  
  
Meryl sighed and closed her eyes leaning forwards against the sink in deep thought, explaining to the chief what had been going on was going to be difficult. She supposed she would just go there and think of things as she went along. Vash sighed and stroked her cheek gently knowing the difficult position he had put her in and wishing he could make things easier.  
  
"Perhaps it would help if I came with you?" He asked. Meryl's eyes opened and she turned to look at him with a small smile on her face. Water droplets fell from her hair and cascaded down her face as she moved.  
  
"Vash how would that help? The whole building would probably be evacuated." She laughed and hugged him affectionately.  
  
"Surely they wouldn't believe that I'm some kind of monster after all your reports..." he faltered, "what exactly did you write in your reports?"  
  
Meryl looked up at him with a mischievous glint in her eyes and smirked. "That's for me to know and for you to never find out." She told him and swept past him and into the bedroom to grab a change of clothes.

* * *

Meryl's POV  
  
I didn't have many decent clothes I have to admit, and most of them consisted of my work uniform and other smart clothes for meetings and other such events. My casual wear consisted of a pair of jeans that were too scruffy and a few shirts that I hadn't worn for a long time.  
  
I sighed and drew away from the wardrobe glaring at the evil garments that invaded the depths of it.  
  
"What's up?" Vash's voice rang out as he entered the room.  
  
"I have nothing to wear."  
  
"Well if you ask me...I think you look pretty nice in that towel." Vash's grin disappeared at the evil glare I was sending him. "Uh okay I'm sorry."  
  
"I guess I haven't been out in such a long time..." I murmured from where I was knelt on the ground. "I suppose I'll have to wear these." I tugged the jeans and a blue top from their hangers and draped them over my arm as I grabbed the brush from the small table.  
  
I paused to glance at Vash who was looking at me in a strange way; he was leaning against the doorframe, his hair flopping carelessly around his face and his normally aqua eyes a deeper blue than usual.  
  
"You could always go buy something." He said finally and I smiled and shook my head.  
  
"There's no time and I'm sure Millie won't mind if I'm a little scruffier than usual."  
  
"If you say so..." He trailed off and let his eyes fall to the ground. "Well I better get ready." He added and went into the bathroom.  
  
I got changed into the unfamiliar clothes quickly before going to look into the mirror. I had to admit they looked a lot better on me than in the dark wardrobe but there was still something I didn't like about my appearance. I laughed quietly and took the ribbon from my hair so I could brush it. My hair hung in wet strands, which shone in the light as I brushed it.  
  
My thoughts - as they often did - started to wander from what I was doing and concentrate on other things. It seemed that every time I thought I could finally relax and enjoy life there were other little things that kept reminding me life wasn't all that simple.  
  
Lately it had been the worry of my family but that had slowly died down as the hours crawled on and I have to admit the prospect of meeting them didn't seem so bad. Vash was here with me now and he wouldn't let anything bad happen; not that I couldn't handle it myself...it just made me feel more secure with him around.   
  
Sometimes though I would lie awake and worry about what the future might bring, will I wake up to an empty bed and find Vash gone? Or possibly have him chased away by bounty hunters who wanted to kill him and all those he loved? Would he get bored of staying with me and just leave? Or maybe his brother would go crazy again and force him to leave us.  
  
Then there were the most recent worries that interrupted my dreams; I was no longer a simple human being. I had evolved into something else and that worried me more than most other things. I was completely different to the girl who everyone had once known and what if my body couldn't contain this new gained power and I was crushed under the weight of it? Vash seemed to think that since the Violet woman was fine with the power that I would be too, but sometimes I just had the feeling that I wasn't all right. That something inside of me had been awakened and was lying in wait to be released. Would I cause destruction just like Vash had done? That was the main fear that haunted me but I decided not to tell Vash about this. He would just be upset about it, and I didn't want that to happen.   
  
I tied my hair back loosely so that some of it still hung in front of my eyes and sighed, trying to keep my thoughts from getting too out of control. Turning round I heard the sound of running water in the bathroom and smiled slightly. It was in these peaceful times that I could simply stand and look around at all that I had.   
  
A nice home in this otherwise pleasant city and the man of my dreams. There wasn't much else I could ask for really when I thought about it. What could possibly make my life more complete than this?  
  
I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't even notice that the water had stopped running and Vash was staring at me strangely from the other side of the room until he cleared his throat. I jumped and looked at him, startled that I had allowed myself to become buried with my thoughts.  
  
"You alright?" He asked with an amused smile.  
  
"Fine, just thinking about how lucky I am that's all."  
  
"Oh." His eyes darted around the room before settling on me again. "So are you hungry?"  
  
"Vash we are going out to eat at Millie's, you can't eat before a meal." I rolled my eyes and tried my hardest not to laugh at him as he slumped into a chair.   
  
"Look." I pointed at the clock; "It's almost five so not too long to wait. We could always go over early if you wanted."  
  
"I suppose."  
  
"If you're that hungry then go search the cupboards, we brought plenty of food earlier...just don't eat..." the rest of my sentence droned away as Vash instantly jumped up and dashed for the kitchen. "...Too much." I ended in a whisper.

* * *

Normal POV  
  
Knives lay on his back staring up at the ceiling, his icy eyes dark with anger and confusion. He angled his head slightly to catch a glimpse of the large, round clock, which hung on the wall and sighed. It wasn't too long before his brother would be round at the house with his woman, then he would have to go down and face the music. If he didn't show up for dinner than everyone would be wondering why and Vash might suspect something, plus he was quite hungry since he hadn't eaten anything all day.  
  
He rolled onto his side and let his mind wander back to the event that had occurred earlier that day. Why the hell had he done it? He didn't know but he had a feeling it was something to do with emotions - ones that he had never felt before in all his long life.   
  
He was beginning to get restless, stuck in a small, strange room with all these weird people and was starting to think that it might not have been such a bad idea to go with his brother after all. At least then he wouldn't have done such an obscene and disgusting thing.  
  
Anger boiled inside of him as memories of what had occurred gathered in strength, he felt sickened that he could find something like a kiss so nice. He wasn't supposed to be feeling this sort of thing at all, but still it chimed inside of his heart as a reminder that it might be possible for him to love. He rid himself of that thought completely and scowled, this just wasn't his day.  
  
He could smell the food being prepared and his stomach growled with hunger as he moved closer to the door. Voices could be heard down in the kitchen and he wondered whether Millie was downstairs. He didn't want to risk going down just in case he bumped into her, he felt the heat of embarrassment return as he thought of the kiss.  
  
A sudden knock on the door downstairs drew his attention and slipping out of his room he glanced downstairs and heard his brother's voice. They were early. Frowning he drew in a deep breath and descended the stairs.  
  
Vash and Meryl couldn't wipe the surprised look off their faces as they were swarmed by the Thompson family, which seemed to have grown twice its size in numbers since their last visit the day before. After a large amount of greetings they managed to make their way into the kitchen where Millie, her mother and Ashley were preparing food.  
  
"Hey Millie." Meryl smiled and waved as Millie turned around to look at them.  
  
"You came!"  
  
"Of course we did, so how have things been with Ashley?" Meryl asked as she glanced over at the boiling pot on the stove.  
  
"She has been a complete angel." Millie's mother said cheerfully.  
  
"And Knives?" Vash asked nervously.  
  
Millie tensed a little at the mention of the man's name and her eyes darkened slightly, or perhaps it was the shadows in the room. Either way Meryl could sense that something had happened and even Vash noticed the smile shrink slightly at the mention of his brother's name.  
  
"I haven't really seen much of him today." Millie spoke up finally and Ashley who had been stirring something on the oven turned and gave her a strange look.  
  
"Haven't seen much of who today?" Came the cold voice from behind them and the group turned to see Knives entering the kitchen, his face set into a firm posture.   
  
"We were just talking about you." Vash said cheerfully but Knives ignored him and let his eyes settle on Millie who had managed to hide behind her mother.  
  
"Mom!" Ashley said, interrupting the awkward silence as she looked up at Meryl.  
  
"What's wrong, are you okay?"  
  
"Yes I'm fine, I was just wondering how long you are going to stay today."  
  
"Oh, well I haven't given that much thought Ash." Meryl gave the child a fond smile and rested a hand on the top of her head. "So what have you been up to today?"  
  
"Me and Kathy went shopping."  
  
"You didn't cause trouble did you?"  
  
"Mom, do you really think I would?" She raised an eyebrow questioningly and Meryl laughed and shook her head. "We talked about really good stuff."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yup we talked about babies." Ashley's grin widened as Meryl's relaxed happy face faltered to something that may have resembled horror if she hadn't been so quick to guard against it.  
  
Vash looked on at the two in confusion, "Is someone having a baby?" he asked and Ashley shrugged, the mischievous glint never leaving her eyes. "I guess it's up to Meryl isn't it." She sighed and skipped past them and out of the door.  
  
"You know..." Vash said quietly, "I think she's up to something." He glanced back at his brother who had a distant look in his eyes and couldn't help but wonder what was on his mind. Something was up with him but he couldn't quite get it, had something upset him whilst staying here?

* * *

Knives' POV  
  
She was still hiding from me, her head bowed so that her hair completely concealed her face from my vision. She was staring into the boiling pot as if it might jump up and bite her. I knew she probably was upset about what had happened earlier today but for some reason I don't sense anger in her, just a confusion and embarrassment quite similar to my emotions.  
  
My oblivious brother is looking at me with that stupid concerned look on his face, those eyes staring at me intently. I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable in this crowded kitchen and that annoying child who just left was even more irritating than my brother. He didn't even realise what she was up to which made things even more sickening. My brother was being outwitted by a little girl.  
  
I stood in silence and listened to the pointless conversations being passed around the kitchen wondering whether I should just leave again. I doubted that anyone would notice my disappearance.   
  
"Right, dinner is almost ready so everyone go grab a seat in the other room." Millie's mother said, raising her wooden spoon as if it was some kind of weapon as she forced us out of the room. Muttering angrily I cast a final glance at Millie who was still staring at the pot before following my brother and his woman out of the room.  
  
The room was filled with people and the table was almost completely filled up, there were a few family members I recognised but others who I had never seen before. They were all so similar in looks and personality that it was disturbing and I sat down opposite my brother being careful not to look him in the eye.  
  
Food was brought out and everyone helped themselves to plates and all sorts of food. My brother almost instantly tucked into the meal with a ravenous quality that was both shocking and disgusting. The child was talking to another woman who was apparently named Kathy and Vash and his woman were talking quietly about something uninteresting.   
  
The dinner was pretty boring and extremely noisy, with everyone talking at once. It gave me a headache trying to pick out an interesting conversation to listen to; I shouldn't have bothered since all of them were talking about things I had no interest in. I also noticed that my brother hadn't even tried to tidy up his eating habits much to the annoyance of the short girl who kept jabbing him in the side.   
  
I took a small glance at Millie from the corner of my eye and our eyes locked briefly before she looked away again and I found myself doing the same. A few seconds later I had the feeling someone was watching me and spotted her ocean blue eyes on me again. I shifted uncomfortably and wondered what she was thinking, I suppose I could have looked into her thoughts but for some reason I felt wrong going into her mind.  
  
Vash's woman choked suddenly as if she had just been told something shocking in the middle of taking a bite of food. I turned to glare at her as she took a sip of water and angled her head towards Millie. Her wide-eyed stare at the woman soon turned briefly to me before returning to her friend.  
  
Vash was looking at her strangely and continued to ask whether she was okay, and all she could do was nod her head and continue to stare at her friend in a rather impolite manner. I turned my attention back towards the food; my stomach reminding me that it was well over due to be fed.

* * *

Meryl's POV  
  
I tried to catch my breath from the choking that I had been doing and leaned forwards to take another drink of water. Vash had managed to stop eating long enough to notice my discomfort and was rubbing my back comfortingly. I glanced up at his face and saw the concern in his eyes, what did he think was going to happen to me? That I would suddenly keel over and die from choking?  
  
I found my eyes being drawn to Millie again and I felt a great realisation dawn on me. That was why she had been so nervous at the mention of Knives. What was happening to me? I had been looking straight at her and I knew she hadn't said anything but that voice had definitely been hers, maybe a little fainter than normal.  
  
Had I read her mind? Imagined it? Gone crazy? Maybe it was all of these things but for some reason I had lost my appetite. Luckily no one had really noticed that I had stopped eating and I patiently waited for the others to finish their meal, my head running over what I had just heard.  
  
'I wonder whether Knives regretted that kiss, or perhaps there was something more behind it?' I shuddered and cast a nervous glance at Knives who was looking at his nearly empty plate.   
  
As soon as everyone started getting up I got to my feet and headed outside to stand on the porch and look out at the city. The air was contentedly cool and leaning against the house I drew in a deep breath and glanced up at the darkening sky. I caught a twinkle of the first star in the sky and felt myself relax, there was no point panicking over something like this. It was pathetic.  
  
"So this is where you ran off to." Vash said cheerfully as he came out of the house, his eyes looking at me somewhat hesitantly.  
  
"I just needed some air to think."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"I don't need to tell you." I snapped and he looked a little hurt, "It was just something that happened earlier..."  
  
"When?"  
  
"At the table...I think I overheard something I wasn't supposed to." I cleared my throat and looked up at his face, "I think I heard Millie's thoughts without meaning to."  
  
I could have laughed at the look on his face if I hadn't been so scared about the whole situation. The news seemed to take a while to register and then his eyes returned to their usual kindly shine that made me feel much safer.  
  
"Well I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" I tried to contain my anger.  
  
"Well since you have plant energy inside of you there is a strong possibility that you would gain some of the powers of a plant as well."  
  
"You mean you can hear a person's thoughts?" I tried to hide my horror, 'had he read my thoughts?'  
  
"Yeah, but I can control the power so I can't hear them."  
  
"Oh." I looked back inside the house, which had quietened down considerably. Everyone was most likely tired out from the conversations that had taken place over the dinner table. "I'm going home." I said finally.  
  
Vash caught my wrist as I passed by him his stern and thoughtful gaze falling onto me. "So what did you hear that got you so upset?"  
  
"I...uhh..." I trailed off and diverted my gaze. "Just something I shouldn't have that's all."  
  
"So you wont tell me?"  
  
"I think there is something going on between Millie and...your brother." I ended in a disbelieving whisper.   
  
"Even I could tell there was some tension between them but what do you mean? They had a fight?"  
  
"No...they, I think they kissed." I have to admit this was a very uncomfortable situation and I risked a look up into Vash's face.  
  
At first his face was serious then a sudden smile spread across his features. "Well I didn't think Millie was Knives' type." He leaned in the doorway and yelled goodbye to everyone before leading me back down the street towards our home.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?! I think that brother of yours might have brainwashed my friend!"  
  
He laughed and shook his head, "Meryl if my brother had brainwashed Millie we would have known about it, plus with Millie keeping Knives out of trouble we get to spend lots more time together."  
  
"I don't think you are seeing the situation here." He was really irritating me now.  
  
"Okay I'll talk to him the next time we are alone if it'll make you feel better. Just try not to worry about it."  
  
"And what about me?"  
  
"What about you?" He looked down at me.  
  
"I don't want to go hearing anymore of their thoughts. Especially ones like that!"  
  
"Calm down."  
  
"And why hasn't it happened before now?"  
  
"It probably just takes a while to get into your system...thoughts are easy to block out anyway." He shrugged.  
  
"You have had a lot more practise than me." I pouted.  
  
"Then I'll give you my secrets."  
  
We continued walking down the darkening street listening to the voices of the people still wondering around in the city. I don't think these streets would know the meaning of silence but at least they were never lonely. I turned my head back to glance up at Millie's house and felt tears sting in my eyes. 'Why hadn't Millie told me what was going on?' that girl always wanted to keep things to herself and I thought if Vash was going to talk to his brother then I could talk to her and try to figure out what was going on. After all, we had been through so much together.

* * *

I am so sorry this took so long, this chapter took me about two weeks to write. I would wake up nice and early so I could write it in peace and quiet and the next thing I know everyone is downstairs causing a racket. This chapter absolutely sucked so I will definitely make it up to you next time. I'm thinking of going to the library to write, at least it'll be quiet.  
  
Sorry again for the long wait and poor attempt at a chapter, I will submit a next chapter as soon as possible. 


	20. Brother

Disclaimer: I don't and never will own Trigun.  
  
Note: Oh my gawd! I just realised how many reviews I had and there are over 200!! Thanks so much to everyone who has stuck with this story for so long! Apologies are at the end of the chapter folks

* * *

Thanks to reviewers:  
  
Betsytheripper - I'm glad you liked how Meryl's powers are developing and here is the next update for you. Thanks for your review!  
  
Steffanie - Thanks so much for your very sweet review, I really appreciate them and I'm glad you are enjoying this story, sorry I took so long for an update but...here it is  
  
Vashluver1 - Don't worry, Meryl's family are coming soon so keep reading, yes their reaction to things will be interesting, I hope. Thanks for your review and here is the update.  
  
cjflutterbye - A drunk Knives, now that is something to consider, I'll definitely try to get Knives and Millie sorted out cos it does seem to be dragging on a little bit. Thanks for your review!  
  
Silverado6000 - Thanks for all your really nice comments in your last review despite me taking my long darn time to get updates out as soon as possible. I seemed to update more when I wasn't on holiday but for some reason I'm finding it difficult to focus. Anyway I thought it was about time Vash and Meryl got a little time together, I mean it's only fair I suppose. I also had to bring in the question about what had happened to Vash's bounty because even though it was removed in the manga it wasn't in the anime and I sometimes get a bit confused, plus no one has really come after him. But when I was thinking about the whole bounty thing, I figured that most of the trouble Vash got was from Knives and the gung-ho-guns he sent and that made me think that perhaps he wouldn't run into so much trouble now that Knives is somewhat more sociable. I'm glad you liked how Knives and Millie are being portrayed, I wasn't too sure that it went very well that time round but thanks for giving your views on it. I also figured that if Meryl were supposed to have this plant energy inside her, it wouldn't just sit there doing nothing so it might as well be put to use. I'm also happy that you like Ashley, the problem is I never expected to write such a long story, it was supposed to end when Meryl got saved from the slave place, so I'm not sure how to continue with Ashley seeing as I had no plans for her in the future, everything that involves her is sort of spontaneous but I'm glad you like it. Thanks for pointing out my mistake; I actually had trouble with that sentence so when I edited it I must have not read it through properly.  
Now finally I must apologise for the long wait, I've kind of been procrastinating lately and zone out quite often. Thanks for your review and I hope you enjoy this next chapter.  
  
HelpComputah - Thanks for your review, and I will continue with it. Yes it is getting rather long now isn't it and this is the 183rd page on word so it'll probably end up being way over 200 at this rate. Here is your update!  
  
Sharpshooterjane - Thanks for your review and I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. Here is your update and I hope it's long enough.  
  
Faerieskye - yay for registering, and welcome! Thank you for spending your time reading this story and I apologise greatly for the long wait. That's me being completely evil.  
  
Kagomeandinuyasha4eva - Sorry for the long update and thanks so much for your review, it means so much to me and really helps me along when I feel down and annoyed with the story. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy this update just as much.  
  
Harvest Goddess - thanks so much for your review and here is your update!  
  
Blu - Reading peoples thoughts would be groovy, but can you imagine all the gross stuff that you would hear as well! It would probably be really freaky but funny at the same time. Glad to see you are having fun with Knives, the poor little dummy needs someone to keep him under control. Thanks for you review and here is the update!  
  
Jacquelyn - I will consider the whole baby thing, but I'm still not decided seeing as I don't want him or her becoming a 'Mary sue' because that would be terrible. Anyways thanks for your review and here is the update.  
  
Pilot-Trowa-Barton - Thanks for your review and here is the update, sorry it took so long...I zoned out for a while there.  
  
Pyro - Thanks for your review, it was really funny and if I remember rightly I really needed a laugh that day. Anyway sorry for the long wait, and here is the update. Hey that rhymed!  
  
Neptune Butterfly - Thanks so much for your review, it meant a lot to me and lots of sugar can be good at times. Yes, I haven't had many ideas for new Trigun stories lately either which is why I have moved on to another section until I do. I haven't been away at all this summer due to laziness and money issues, but never mind I don't mind sleeping in late and all that. Oh and I hope Kuroneko is feeling better now! Here is your update.  
  
White Ninja Spy - There are a few more chapters to come yet, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully this chapter will be even better. Thanks for your review!  
  
Rukato86 - Thanks for your review! Yes tension is high between those two and it'll probably get much worse

* * *

Chapter 20 - Brother  
  
A loud knock snapped Meryl from her otherwise peaceful slumber and sitting up she glanced around the room in terror. After a moment her panicked breathing slowed and she glanced over at the clock, her eyes widening as she realised the time. Turning her head to glance at Vash's snoring figure she couldn't help but smile at him, there was something especially cute about him when he was asleep.  
  
Another loud knock made her jump to her feet and she realised that someone was at the door. Yawning groggily she threw on a dressing gown that hung over a chair before making her way to the front door. It was most likely Millie coming to see what she was up to, or perhaps it was someone from work who had heard she was home. Either way she wasn't exactly thrilled to have company round when she had only just woken up and had a busy day ahead of her.  
  
Running slender fingers through her mussed raven hair she raised her hand to flip the latch and pulled the door open to glance out into the bright day. Violet eyes widened and breath choked and blocked her lungs as she took a shaky step back.  
"B-brother...how did you-"  
"So little sister finally showed her face back in the city again." He sneered from the doorway; he was a tall man with broad shoulders and dark hazel eyes hidden beneath raven strands of hair.  
"I've not been away that long." Meryl replied emotionlessly, her eyes boring into his own.  
"Long enough."  
"Just tell me what you want and leave." She snapped.  
"I was in town this morning and I happened to spot your friend amongst the crowds, that tall, weird one that you hang out with a lot."  
"Her name is Millie, you should remember it." "But that wasn't all." He smirked, "I overheard that you little sister, have found yourself someone." He glanced around the room as if expecting that certain "someone" to pop out of nowhere and start attacking him. "That is none of your concern, now leave!"  
  
He approached her, eyes flashing dangerously as he leaned forwards to meet her fiery gaze, "You know father will not be happy to hear this."  
"You mean you haven't told him yet."  
"No, but don't worry. I have every intention of telling him about it."  
"Of course." Meryl rolled her eyes. "So who is this mysterious man you brought home Meryl?"  
"That is none of your business." She clenched her fists and tried to keep calm, it wouldn't do her any good if she ended up knocking him out.  
"I forgot how temperamental you could be." Her brother sneered, "Just shows how unlike our mother you are."  
"Yes, by the sounds of it, she was perfect in every way and I'm the complete opposite."  
"Yep that about sums it up." He shrugged and headed back towards the door, turning briefly he gave her an exaggerated smile and spoke in a ridiculously cheerful tone, "see ya round little sis." He closed the door loudly behind him and Meryl remained standing, her eyes focused angrily on the door. She really, really wanted something to hurt right now but she was pretty sure that Vash hadn't done anything she could use for an excuse seeing as he was still asleep.  
  
"It's no good just standing here, I have to get going if I want to speak with the chief." She spoke up as she headed back to get some clothes before taking an extremely quick shower.  
By the time she was ready to leave Vash was still fast asleep, and pausing by the door she peeked in on him, glad that he hadn't woken up when her brother had paid a visit. She knew her brother too well and she was pretty sure he was up to something that would cause her more hell.  
  
Casting one more look at Vash's sleeping figure she closed the door softly and left a small note for him in the kitchen just in case he woke up. By the looks of it he would probably be out for most of the day but at least he wasn't causing mayhem. Checking to make sure she had all of her reports and other such forms that she might need, she headed out into the street  
  
As usual the city was buzzing with lots of people shopping, working or doing absolutely nothing but becoming an obstruction. Dust was constantly being kicked up and Meryl pushed through the crowds, muttering about how people were being completely inconsiderate. She had forgotten how busy the city could get, especially during the late hours of morning.  
  
The bernardelli headquarters was situated in the middle of the city, which was only about a twenty minute walk from Meryl's small apartment. It was definitely a building you couldn't miss, it was a large modern looking place compared to the other small ones that surrounded it.  
  
Meryl paused by the main entrance and glanced up at the many windows that littered the building, her lips twitching with a smile as she thought of the countless amount of times that Millie had been forced to clean them. Those days seemed so far away now that it was almost impossible to think she had lived so normally. Ever since she had met up with Vash her life had been a dizzying hurricane that hadn't calmed until very recently, but she guessed this was just the so-called "eye of the storm" and that there would surely be more to come.  
  
Taking in a deep breath she ascended the few steps up to the main doors and pushed them open, pausing in the doorway she glanced around the large and cool main reception and smiled. It had been a long time since she had been here and it felt kind of nice to be somewhere familiar for a change.  
  
"Hey Maria." She called out as she approached the main desk, putting on a cheery smile.  
"Meryl you're finally back, we were starting to get a bit worried about you. I mean it can't be easy to keep tabs on the humanoid typhoon and keep yourself safe at the same time. The chief was getting worried because we hadn't received a report in a while but I'm sure he'll be relieved to see you safe and well." The woman tapped on the typewriter all the while, not taking her eyes from the form she was typing up.  
The woman was still a complete chatterbox, just like Meryl remembered and she placed her forms on the desk, which were beginning to get a little heavy. "So how have things been lately?"  
"Oh not much really, we've just been dealing with the usual boring things. I'm beginning to think I should change my job."  
"Wow, things must be getting boring if you're saying things like that." Meryl laughed and patted the forms she had been holding. "Is the chief around?"  
  
Maria paused in typing and tapped a long, polished nail to her chin in thought, her blue eyes seeming to fog over slightly. "I think he said he had a meeting this morning, but..." she glanced at the clock, "It should be over by now." She returned to her typing, "I'm sure he'll be pleased to see you, so head up to his office and see if he is around."  
"Okay, will do." Meryl lifted her forms up and continued past the reception and up the first flight of stairs; the sound of people working and the low hum of talking was a very comforting sensation to her.  
  
The chief's office was on the first floor as well as many of the other desk workers that Meryl knew, she hoped that none of them would spot her as she wound through the desks and over to the door which was her destination.  
  
A small flutter of nerves built up in her stomach at exactly what she was going to say to her boss. She still hadn't thought of any way to explain the current situation and was a little unsure of how to go about it. She knew that there was no way to escape this and raising her hand she rapped her knuckles against the door.  
"Come in." Came the usually gruff voice of the chief and Meryl drew in a deep breath before opening the door and stepping into the room.

* * *

Ashley shook her head and pushed long strands of wavy hair out of her eyes so that she could get a better view of her new project. Yes this one would be a lot harder and would probably prove an irritating yet fascinating task and she was hopeful that it would prove positive. She was not doing it for her own personal amusement, she was actually doing this for Millie, anything else was just an added bonus.  
  
The fact was that this little girl would just not understand grown-ups, especially the male half of the species. They seemed unable to express feelings of any sort apart from anger and irritation. Yes Ashley had finally started the "Knives Project" and it was proving a little annoying.  
  
"So how come you've been acting strange all morning?" She questioned again as she glanced up at the blonde haired man who was apparently pretending to be asleep. Shifting her weight slightly on the hard floor she sighed and moved closer. "Hello?" She waved a hand in front of his face and in response Knives simply rolled over, muttering something under his breath.  
  
"Are you just gonna ignore me all day?" She stood up and poked him between the shoulder blades, giggling as he flinched slightly. "Well if you don't speak to me, I'll just stay here and annoy you all day. How does that sound?"  
  
Knives groaned angrily and sat up, his blue eyes fixing on the girl standing by him, the innocent look on her face was almost sickening. "Why are you doing this to me? I just want to be left alone, if it's not you it's one of that infernal woman's family!" He yelled, "I swear, children are the most stupid creatures on this planet." "And you are the most stubborn!" Ashley countered.  
"Me stubborn?" He scowled. "Yes!"  
"Don't you have anything better to do?"  
"Nope." She grinned, "I thought we could hang out and get to know each other, come on uncle Knives it'll be fun."  
"Uncle?" He scoffed and stood up, pointing at the door. "Get out." "But-"  
"I'm not interested you little brat, now get lost!" He remained firm, his cold eyes never once faltering.  
"How come you're so grumpy?" She questioned as she edged towards the door. "Has it got something to do with Millie?"  
  
The look on his face said more than words ever could.  
  
"Bye uncle Knives!" She waved and darted from the room, leaving a very angry and annoyed Knives behind. Skipping down the stairs she swung round the corner and almost knocked straight into Millie who had just come home from shopping with her mom.  
"What has gotten into you Ash?" Millie's mother asked with a smile that crinkled her eyes.  
"Oh nothing really, uncle Knives just told me to get lost."  
"Well make sure you don't, I'd rather not have Meryl start shouting at me if I lose you." The older woman replied with a cheerful laugh.  
"Don't worry, he's just feeling grumpy this morning,"  
"Oh really?" The woman's eyebrows rose considerably. "Well Millie darling, you go fetch him, we'll get him out of that grumpy mood."  
"I should help you pack the things away first." Millie spoke up nervously.  
"Don't be silly dear, me and Ashley can do that."  
  
Sighing in defeat Millie glanced up the long and terrifying flight of stairs, and just beyond them was where he was, the man that had gotten her so confused. Summoning all of her courage she ascended the stairs, wincing at every creak the floorboards made under her weight. She knew what she had to do, go and knock on his door and tell him to go down stairs, then she could quickly run to the safety of her room. It didn't even occur to her that the actions she would be taking were childish and that no amount of hiding would conceal the fact that they had kissed.  
  
Her face heated up as the image replayed itself in her mind and she covered her cheeks with her hands to hide the blush, which refused to go away. She reached the top of the stairs and glanced over at the door, which led to his room, to her dismay it stood ajar, probably from when Ashley had left. She would have to teach the child how important it was to close doors.  
  
Creeping over to it she reached up to tap on the door, her hands trembling slightly. Obviously she had not knocked loud enough because he continued to stand by the window, glaring out at the city below, completely unfazed by her presence. His short, pale blonde hair looked slightly mussed and his pale complexion enhanced the lost look in those blue eyes, but what the tall insurance girl noticed was the color of his eyes. Watching him now she could see that the icy look had gone from them and was replaced with a much calmer, softer blue. She wondered what he was thinking about.  
  
After a few minutes of silence she cleared her throat and he jumped, turning round fully to face her, the surprise on his face disappearing beneath a scowl as his eyes once again returned to their usual cold glare. "What do you want?" He growled.  
"My mom wanted me to come get you." Her tone was cheerful.  
"Why, what are you up to now?"  
"You shouldn't be so suspicious, she won't do anything mean."  
"Whatever, I've been annoyed enough already today." He crossed his arms over his chest. "So if you don't mind." He motioned towards the door and Millie felt herself start to tear up.  
  
"How can you act so cold all the time?" She asked, "You keep trying to deny what happened between us and that makes me feel pretty awful."  
"Shut up you pathetic human! This is your entire fault, luring me into your trap. I bet you've been planning this from that start!" He yelled angrily. "How could you think that? You're the person who killed the man I loved."  
"Love? that man wasn't good enough, he was a filthy murderer."  
"You shut up! Wolfwood wasn't like that!" She took a threatening step forwards, her fists clenching with fury.  
"Well he's gone and there's nothing you can do about it!"  
"Don't you think I know that!?" "Well then get out of here, and take your stupid feelings away from me."  
"You are a cold-hearted monster."  
"Then it looks like I'm the type of person you go for." He retorted.  
"Shut up!" Tears trembled and swelled in her clear blue eyes as she struck him in the face, her fury leaving her trembling and crying almost hysterically. She stood for a moment in the same spot before turning and dashing from the room, the sound of a door being slammed echoed again and again in Knives' skull.  
  
He had not expected that.  
  
Sliding down the wall until he was sitting on the floor he looked down at his hands trying to ignore the dull ache from where she had struck him. What he had said was true, so why on earth did he feel so...guilty?  
  
He considered going after her but he was sure he would just start another row and the headache, which was slowly developing, made the decision that it would be a bad idea. Quietly he crept downstairs hoping that no one had heard their little outburst, he wasn't really in the mood to explain why and he was sure that Millie's mother would be less than amused.  
  
Luckily the majority of the family were now situated in the kitchen, which was at the back of the house, and causing so much noise themselves he was sure they hadn't overheard. Glancing around the empty lounge he quickly strode over to the front door before opening it and making his escape.  
  
Leaning against the closed door he shut his eyes and drew in a deep breath, how the hell had he gotten himself into this situation? Upon opening his eyes he glanced around the busy city, it was extremely disturbing to think that he was living amongst all these humans and he almost shuddered.  
  
He couldn't believe his brother had talked him into this, and speaking of that idiot he knew he had to head over there. He had heard someone say that Meryl's apartment was not too far away so he decided he would wander around until he found it.  
  
After half an hour of wandering around the city streets he finally gave up looking and began to head back to the Thompson house feeling even more annoyed than when he had left.  
"Oh there you are Mr. Knives!" A voice called out to him. "We were wondering where you had gotten to so I came to see if I could find you." Kathy finally appeared from the crowds and Knives rolled his eyes. Everywhere he turned there was someone just waiting to annoy him. "Wow Mr. Knives...what happened to your face?"  
"Nothing, just tell me what you want."  
"Well we're getting lunch ready and I thought you might be hungry."  
"I'm not."  
"Oh...alright then, so what are you doing out here all alone?"  
"Trying to get some peace and quiet, I was also going to go find my brother."  
"I can show you where Meryl lives."  
  
Knives considered his options, and knew that if he wanted to see his brother anytime soon then this human would have to show him the way. Sighing in defeat he reluctantly agreed and allowed himself to be led back through the crowds of people.  
  
As expected the apartment was not far away and Kathy left him to return to the house, he paused by the door and turned back to glance around the city. Why had he come to see Vash? That idiot wouldn't be able to help him, more likely he would cause even more trouble. He knocked loudly on the door and gave his brother a disgusted look when he finally opened it.  
"Don't tell me you've only just woken up." He rolled his eyes at his brother's blank expression and pushed past him.  
"It's nice to see you too." Vash yawned as he let the door close again, his eyes widened suddenly and a grin spread across his face, "What happened to your face?" He blurted out.  
"Millie happened!"  
"What? Hang on, what did you do to upset her so much?"  
"That's not important." Knives scowl made it quite clear he did not want to talk about it.  
  
Vash shrugged and glanced groggily at his brother who was looking considerably uncomfortable, but he figured seeing as he was here he might as well have that talk with him about what Meryl had heard the day before.  
  
"Knives, I'm glad you came round."  
"Why?" The suspicion was clear.  
"Because I've been meaning to talk to you about something."  
"What is it?"  
  
Vash paused and tried to form what he wanted to say in words that wouldn't anger his brother, he guessed that it was probably a useless attempt giving what he was about to suggest. 'Oh man, why am I left to do this?' He thought helplessly. "It's about you...you and Millie." He winced at the look on Knives' face; this was not going to be easy.

* * *

Meryl looked nervously over at the chief, hoping desperately that he wasn't going to yell and fire her. He had remained strangely quiet during her long-winded explanation and the look on his face said very little about what he was thinking.  
  
He leaned forwards, tapping his pen against the smooth surface of his desk, his brow creasing with thought and finally he brought his eyes up to the young insurance worker and drew in a deep breath. "By what you tell me..." he began calmly. "It seems that the company will not be losing so much money. Obviously that is a good thing, but Miss Stryfe this does not change the fact that he is still a wanted man."  
"Yes I understand that sir but-"  
"And by bringing him to this city you have jeopardized the lives of everyone living here."  
"But as long as no one knows that he is here then everything will be fine."  
"To keep him a secret in this place is impossible Stryfe. I am disappointed that you failed to see this."  
"Sir, if something can be done about his bounty then he can live here without being a hazard."  
"Yes, you have said that none of what happened was his fault, but if it wasn't him then who was it?"  
"I...uhh..."  
"Exactly, you have no way to prove his innocence and therefore the bounty cannot be removed." The chief stood up and sighed. "I understand how you feel, and obviously you and Thompson know this man better than anyone, I just think that it would be best if you move on."  
"But Millie misses her family and I'm not sure whether she would want to carry on travelling."  
"Then it is up to her to quit."  
  
Meryl knew it was pointless to continue discussing it; the chief had obviously made up his mind. She should have known that Vash would not be trusted here but she desperately wanted to stay here, even if it was just for a few more days. She wondered what Millie would do, she knew very well that the girl loved her family more then anything. Travelling wouldn't be the same without her, and then there was Ashley to consider, the child needed stability not continuous moving from place to place.  
  
"Listen, I know I have put you into a difficult position, especially with that child to take into account and I have no objections to you staying here for awhile. Just make sure to keep a low profile, keep an eye out for any suspicious people lurking around." The chief neatened the pile of reports and tapped them lightly; "I'll have a look through these in more detail later."  
"Thank you sir." Meryl gave a sigh of relief and headed towards the door, "I won't let you down, there is no way I'll let that man get into any trouble." Meryl could have slapped herself for that comment, Vash was prone to getting into trouble and she had made a promise she definitely wouldn't be able to keep.  
  
She continued out of the building, her head spinning with all the new troubles that were arising, she was sure that her brother was up to something but she couldn't figure out what. Now she had to go and find Millie and talk to her about the job and whether she would want to continue it.  
  
Why were things never easy?

* * *

"You what!?"  
"Hey, don't get mad at me!" Vash hid behind the chair peering out nervously at his brother, he hadn't seen him that angry for a long time and it was slightly unnerving.  
"Well who do you expect me to get mad at?!" Knives continued to yell.  
"Meryl was the one who heard it, go and blame her." "She what?"  
"Well uh...she heard Millie and..." Vash trailed off, suddenly at a loss for words. How had he gotten himself into this situation he had no idea, but he was pretty sure it was Meryl's fault. He would blame her later.  
  
A moment of silence passed between them when Knives spoke up again, his voice strangely quiet and nervous. "I think she has poisoned my mind."  
"Who?"  
"That Millie woman, you idiot!"  
"Well I think there is more to it then that."  
"What's that supposed to mean!?"  
Vash blinked and feel silent again, this was much harder then he thought it would have been and now he had no way of wording his thoughts. Just looking at the irritated expression on his brother's face made him nervous. One wrong word and it could all go very wrong.  
  
"Forget I said anything...just tell me what you wanted?" The question brought a surprising blush upon Knives' face and Vash frowned slightly but tried his best to ignore it.  
  
"I wanted your..." The rest of his sentence was too muffled to hear.  
"You wanted what?"  
"Your advice on something." Knives snapped.  
"Uh...okay."  
"You've been around these humans much longer than I have, so you understand them better."  
"I dunno about that..."  
"Let me finish!"  
"Sorry."  
  
"I've been having these strange feelings for a while now...and I have waited for them to go but they aren't, so I was wondering what I have to do to make them disappear."  
"What kind of feelings are we talking about here?"  
"Well I don't know exactly..." Knives trailed off, obviously lost for words.  
  
Vash sighed and rolled his eyes, they weren't getting anywhere and he guessed that Meryl was going to be back soon, if that happened then he had no idea when this conversation would continue. He gathered up every ounce of courage and drew in a shaky breath. It was now or never."You think you love Millie." It was a statement not a question.

* * *

Okay now for my list of apologies, excuses and other random things.  
  
I am so so so so so sorry for taking so long to get this chapter out. I knew what I wanted to be in it but for some reason I just got lazy and kept putting it off, then my friend lent me a new computer game and I have been addicted to that and I wrote two fics on that, which you are welcome to read, although most probably haven't played it.  
  
I also apologise for the rubbishy length chapter, I was going to make it longer but I've been hit with a nasty headache and really can't think anymore.  
  
Plus I realised that I didn't put in a single POV in this chapter, feel free to beat me for doing that.  
  
So forgive my laziness and I'll try and get another chapter out before I start up at college.  
  
Thanks again to everyone who reviewed and thanks even more for your patience!  
  
'Love and Peace' 


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